From: "Mrs Therisa swarin" therisaswarin2@epatra.com Subject: urgent business relationship Date: Tue, 14 Jan 2003 15:11:30 -0800 MRS THERISA SIMON SWARIN, REFUGEE CAMP C/O OF AGES ECANGELICAL MINISTRY ABIDJAN - COTE D' IVORIE Dear sir With the best compliments of the year , I wish to solicit help in migrating to your country and investing my fund. I am Sierra Leoneasn National and the Wife of Late Dr Simon Swarin. Until his death my husband was the the General overseer of the Gold and Diamond Mining Corporation in Kanema Sierra leone. On April 6 2000 the Military forces loyal to the Government of AHMED TIJAN KEBBAH invaded the Diamond and Gold mine and assassinated my husband,mistaking him for his brother MIKE Swarin who is the deputy to the leader of the revolutionary united front (RUF) FODAY SANKOH. When the news reached me ,I hurriedly gathered some valuables in our family villa and escaped for my dear life in the company of my only son,PAUL. Among the valuable was a file that contained details of a Deposit my husband made in a security company in Abroad. He deposted US$20.5M ( TWENTY MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US. DOLLARS) contained in 2 trunk boxes in the name of our son paul. He did not disclose the ral content of the trunk boxes to the security company . He Declared the contents as family valuable for security reasons. This is the money he made from the sale of Gold and Diamonds during his time as the General Overseer. Now that we are in Abidjan and verified the transaction,we need your assistance to move this funds out for investment in your Country ad the insecurity still going on there . we ask you to scout for a viable and Iucrative business, so that we can invest wisely. we have it in mind to give you 20% of the total sum (20.5Million US Dollars), and 25% share in any investment we will embark upon ,if you assist us. we will also set aside 5% of funds for ancillary expenses which you will make in course of this transaction (fax messsage, phone calls, air tickets etc). This fortune of ours we have revealed to you should remain CONFIDENTIAL as it only you who we have told about it. kindly indicate your interest and willingness to assist us on receipt of this message for us to clarify you on how to proceed. Note that this transaction is risk free. May the shelter and care of God be upon you as you. assist us. Remain blessed. Yours sincerely, Therisa Swarin.We don't have Lady Agatha's apparent first reply. --- Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: ATTN: AGATHA BRISTOL THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL.YOUR E MAIL ADDRESS WAS GIVEN TO ME BY MY LATE HUSBANDS ATTORNEY AND I SNEEKED OUT TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER. THIS TRANSACTION IS RISK FREE WITH REFERENCE TO MY LETTER.THIS MONEY IS DEPOSITED WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM-HOLLAND.IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ASSISTING ME IN THIS TRANSACTION. YOU CAN ONLY GO TO AMSTERDAM TO CLAIM THE OWNERSHIP OF THE MONEY. THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT IS WITH US HERE WHICH A COPY MAY BE SENT TO YOU TO PROOF TO THE SECURITY COMPANY THE YOU ARE THE OWNER OF THE FUND ,A LETTER OF POWER OF ATTORNEY WILL BE GIVING TO YOU TOO ,TO ASSIST YOU COLLECT THE MONEY.FROM THE LETTER INSIDE MY LATE HUSBANDS FILE STATES THAT ONE OF THE DIRCTORS OF THE SECURITY COMPANY WILL BE TOLD TO ASSIST YOU OPEN AN OFFSHORE ACCOUNT IN AMSTERDAM WHERE THE MONEY WILL BE DEPOSITED FIRST ,BEFORE THE FINAL REMITTANCE IS MADE INTO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY. EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU SO! ON. THANKS. MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, hrhprincess_margaret Date: 15 Jan 2003, 04:18:29 AM Subject: Re: Re: urgent RESPONSE Dear Mrs. Swarin, The correct form of address is Lady Agatha. I'm afraid that I did not know your late husband. And since when did refugee camps have internet cafes? We will, however, leave that for now and move on. We remain a little wary of such a 'too good to be true' proposal. Please explain what needs to be done. Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London [Somehow Sir Marmite inserts himself into the picture - probably at the behest of Lady Agatha, about whom he nourishes hopeless fantasies.] From: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin2@epatra.com] To: Sir Marmite Luny Binns Date: 15 Jan 2003, 02:33:46 AM Subject: Re: Re: urgent response =ATTN: Marmite Luny-Binns THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL. THIS TRANSACTION IS RISK FREE WITH REFERENCE TO MY LETTER.THIS MONEY IS DEPOSITED WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM-HOLLAND.IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ASSISTING ME IN THIS TRANSACTION. YOU CAN ONLY GO TO AMSTERDAM TO CLAIM THE OWNERSHIP OF THE MONEY. THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT IS WITH US HERE WHICH A COPY MAY BE SENT TO YOU TO PROOF TO THE SECURITY COMPANY THE YOU ARE THE OWNER OF THE FUND ,A LETTER OF POWER OF ATTORNEY WILL BE GIVING TO YOU TOO ,TO ASSIST YOU COLLECT THE MONEY.FROM THE LETTER INSIDE MY LATE HUSBANDS FILE STATES THAT ONE OF THE DIRCTORS OF THE SECURITY COMPANY WILL BE TOLD TO ASSIST YOU OPEN AN OFFSHORE ACCOUNT IN AMSTERDAM WHERE THE MONEY WILL BE DEPOSITED FIRST ,BEFORE THE FINAL REMITTANCE IS MADE INTO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY. EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON. THANKS. MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "Marmite Luny-Binns" To: therisaswarin2@epatra.com Cc: hrhprincess_margaret Date: 15 Jan 2003, 05:20:14 AM Subject: Re: Re: urgent response My dear Ms Swarin This is splendid news. I can arrange to travel to Amsterdam within a week or so, incognito of course. Please forward the documentation for Our persual and I will be sure to show it to Her Majesty. It is policy in the case of even temporary business transactions with the Palace to ask for the person concerned to sign and return the Stipendary Oath of Allegience. Will this be possible? Is is purely a matter of protocol, one to which few object, but which must be in place before matters can proceed. I will be pleased to forward the text for your application in this instance. Her Majesty is currently touring Bollockshire with Princes Wayne and Darren, and will be returning shortly. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC Regis Court Chamberlain The Court of St James Broadmoor London FU2 GIT Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: attn:Lady Agatha I HAVE NEVER TOLD YOU THAT MY HUSBAND KNEW YOU.WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO ARRANGE YOURSELF TO GO TO AMSTERDAM TO CLAIM THE OWNERSHIP OF THE COSIGNMENT FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY AS THE LETTER OF THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WILL ASSIST YOU,INCLUDING THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY .BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE TO ME THE PROMISSARY NOTE STATING THAT YOU MUST KEEP OUR SHARE OF THE FUND PENDING WHEN WE ARE SAFE TO COME OUT TO MEET WITH YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY. PLEASE LET US HAVE YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER SO THAT MY SON PAUL CAN TALK WITH YOU ON PHONE. I WILL BE HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON. THANKS. MRS THERISA From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, hrhprincess_margaret Date: 15 Jan 2003, 08:51:11 AM Subject: RE: URGENT RESPONSE Madam, If he didn't know me how did he get my e-mail address? We are happy to send Agent Miracsky to Amsterdam as he is in Prague. We will be sending Sir Ronald Kray with him too, as Amsterdam can be dangerous. My private phone number is 0906 44 99 111 which you can use. Please be patient as it is a secure line which is bounced off several satellites to avoid tracing and tapping. What is a promissary note? I will ask Michael Montague Barrymore, Her Majesty's banker about this. Where is this Security Company letter and Certificate of Deposit? How are things in the refugee camp? I trust things are well, otherwise they would not let you use computers. We can look into any human rights abuses if you wish, if they apply to you. We look forward to a speedy transaction. Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: ATTN:LADY AGATHA BRISTOL YOUR E- MAIL ADDRESS WAS GIVEN TO US BY LATE HUSBAND ATTORNEY OK. YOUR SUGESTION IS ACCEPTABLE .PLEASE CAN YOU FORWARD YOUR FAX NUMBER TO ENABLE US FAX THOSE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS TO YOU IMMEDIATELY OR DO YOU WANT THEM TO BE SENT AS ATTACHMENT? MY SON NORMALLY GOES OUT TO BROWSE IN INTRNET SO IT IS NOT A PROBLEM TO READ AND SEND MESSAGES . PROMISSARY NOTE IS JUST AN AGREEMENT THAT YOU MUST NOT RUIN AWAY WITH MY MONEY WHEN YOU CLAIM IT FROM AMSTERDAM.I WILL LIKE TO HAVE THE PARTICULARS OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO WIIL GO TO AMSTERDAM BECAUSE THE POWER OF ATTORNEY MUST BE WRITTING ON THEIR NAMES SO THAT THE SECURITY COMPANY CAN ATTEND TO THEM . EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU TO ENABLE ME FORWARD THE PARTICULARS OF THE SECURITY COMPANY. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU MY SISTER,IT IS GOD THAT BROUTH YOU TO HELP US. YOURS EVER MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, mikhailstroganov Date: 16 Jan 2003, 01:31:50 PM Subject: Re: RE: URGENT RESPONSE Dear Mrs. Swarin, Thank you for your note. You may attach the necessary documents to an e-mail. Our man in Moscow, Mikhail Stroganov, will be handling this transaction from here on in; but as his superior, I would appreciate it if you copy me into all correspondence. However, the Royal Family have one or two minor concerns. Her Royal Highness Amber Jade is not quite convinced of your total honesty. And Prince Derek feels that this transaction is too good to be true. Indeed, Foreign Minister Maurice Gibb (currently on extended leave) wants to know what benefit we, Her Majesty's Government, will gain. Please address these concerns, Mrs. Swarin, as it is important Her Majesty's mind is put to rest. We had a dreadful episode with the ghastly Jonathan Mokoena not so long ago and we are keen to avoid any similar problems. Do you know him, by the way? Here are the members of my staff that will be going to Holland: Special Agent Ilichy Miracsky (my personal bodyguard and our top operative) Mikhail Stroganov (a book publisher, but also a covert operative) Michael Montague Barrymore - Her Majesty's Accountant, Banker and Legal Adviser Myself, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Do Miracsky or Stroganov need to take any weapons? Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: agatha bristol Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 16 Jan 2003, 01:40:43 PM Subject: Re: RE: URGENT RESPONSE LADY AGATHA I CANNOT SEE FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHY WE ARE GETTING INVOLVED WITH THESE NIGERIAN NINCOMPOOPS_I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE FINISHED WITH ALL THIS NONSENSE AFTER THE MOKOENA/STABBIN INCIDENT_HOWEVER IF YOU WISH ME TO HANDLE EVERYTHING WITH MRS. SWARMING THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO CARRY OUT THE ORDERS OF HER MAJESTY_BUT I MUST URGE CAUTION STROGANOV From: "Princess Margaret" To: agathabristol Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com Date: 17 Jan 2003, 05:46:09 AM Subject: RE: URGENT RESPONSE Lady Agatha Any further news on the reliability of this Swearin woman? MARGARET Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto, Room 101 The Royal Les Dawson Suite Kensington Doss House, Buckingham London FU2 GlT From: "agatha bristol" To: Princess Margaret Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, mikhailstroganov Date: 17 Jan 2003, 07:52:47 AM Subject: RE: URGENT RESPONSE Your Most Gracious Royal Highness, Ourselves and Mikhail Stroganov are working well with Mrs. Smarmin and will report in soonest. Are we looking for an X-Box again, ma'am? Yours ever Lady Agatha Bristol Head of Special Operations Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: FROM MY 1ST LETTER YOU WILL KNOW YOUR PROPOSED PERCENTAGE WHICH IS 20%OF THE TOTAL MONEY AND 25% ON ANY INVESTMENT WHICH YOU PEOPLE ACTUALLY HELPED. I HAVE FOUND OUT THAT THE SECURITY COMPANY CAN ONLY ATTEND TO TWO TO THREE PEOPLE.SO YOU HAVE TO TREEM THE NUMBER TO TWO OR THREE. PLEASE I DO NOT KNOW THE MAN YOU JUST MENTIONED AND WHY DO YOU EXPOSED THIS DEAL TO SO MANY PEOPLE AT THIS CRUCIAL STAGE . I HOPE WE ARE SAFE IN YOUR HAND?I CAN NOT RELEASE THESE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS TO YOU UNTILL I KNOW THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE THAT ARE GOING TO AMSTERDAM BECAUSE THIS IS THE ONLY THING I AND MY SON PAUL HAVE TO TUR ARROUND OUR LIFE. IT IS THE ONLY OPPORTUNITY WE HAVE TO COME OUT OF THIS PROBLEM. I NEED THE PROMISSARY NOTE TO ENABLE ME FORWARD THE PARTICULARS OF THE SECURITY COMPANY IN HOLLAND WHERE THE MONEY IS DEPOSITED. THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WILL BE SENT TO YOU AS SOON AS I GET YOUR ANSWER. EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON IF POSSIBLE TODAY. YOU MUST KNOW THAT WE CA! N NOT TRAVEL UNTILL YOU CLLECT THIS MONEY BECAUSE THIS MONEY IS WHAT WE WILL USE TO ARRANGE FOR OUR TRAVEL. THANKS MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, mikhailstroganov Date: 17 Jan 2003, 07:59:14 AM Subject: Re: Re: RE: URGENT RESPONSE My dear Mrs. Swarin, Thank you for your reply. I hope they are treating you well in your camp. May I respectfully remind you, madam, that you are dealing with the highest echelons of Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland. Her Majesty is happy with the figures you suggest but we feel that we are justified in asking for a little more. How does 45% of the total pot sound? In terms of my personnel, my agents are totally trustworthy - after all, they represent the finest elite of the Special Operations Department here in Whitehall. I would ask, however, that you at least copy in Agent Stroganov. He is one of our best operatives and he can speed the travel arrangements along. Agents Miracsky and Stroganov must travel. That is non-negotiable. However, in the interests of goodwill, we will leave Barrymore at home for now. But he will be needed as an authorised signatory of Her Majesty the Queen Elizabeth II. I trust this is in order. Do send our regards to Paul. Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London From: "agatha bristol" To: Mikhail Stroganov Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 17 Jan 2003, 08:01:26 AM Subject: Re: RE: URGENT RESPONSE Agent Stroganov, I appreciate your candidness, as always. But your job is to carry out your orders, not to question them. See that this transaction is progressed - that is an order! Yours, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations From: "Princess Margaret" To: agathabristol Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, mikhailstroganov Date: 17 Jan 2003, 08:10:24 AM Subject: RE: URGENT RESPONSE I am pleased to hear it, Lady Agatha. I think We will be requesting an X-Box as Prince Wayne is very insistent about it. I enjoy an occasional go at that Halo game Myself, especially as I am now unable to play polo with My varicose veins. MARGARET ATTN: Marmite Luny-Binns 65UTT4. YOUR SUGESTION IS ACCEPTABLE .PLEASE CAN YOU FORWARD YOUR FAX NUMBER TO ENABLE US FAX THOSE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS TO YOU IMMEDIATELY OR DO YOU WANT THEM TO BE SENT AS ATTACHMENT?. PROMISSARY NOTE IS JUST AN AGREEMENT THAT YOU MUST NOT RUIN AWAY WITH MY MONEY WHEN YOU CLAIM IT FROM AMSTERDAM.I WILL LIKE TO HAVE THE PARTICULARS OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO WIIL GO TO AMSTERDAM BECAUSE THE POWER OF ATTORNEY MUST BE WRITTING ON THEIR NAMES SO THAT THE SECURITY COMPANY CAN ATTEND TO THEM . EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU TO ENABLE ME FORWARD THE PARTICULARS OF THE SECURITY COMPANY. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU MY BROTHER,IT IS GOD THAT BROUTH YOU TO HELP US. YOURS EVER MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "Marmite Luny-Binns" To: therisaswarin2@epatra.com Cc: hrhprincess_margaret Date: 17 Jan 2003, 08:20:43 AM Subject: Re:: urgent response My Dear Mrs Swarinse This is splendid news indeed. Attachments will be fine for now, and you may send them to this address, my dear lady. Let us hope that this business is of profit to us both. Please excuse any delays in responding to your message, I was away at a turkey shoot in Brixton Fields. How soon is it before you are able to sign the Oath of Allegience? Her Majesty is keen that this formality is followed to the letter. MARMITE Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC Regis Court Chamberlain The Court of St James Broadmoor London FU2 GIT --- Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: HERE ARE THE CONTACT OF THE SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM WHERE THE MONEY IS DEPOSITED . THE DIRCTORIS DR JEREMY PAUL DUNN TEL: 31-613-430930 TEL:31-613-593475 FAX:31-645-244232 FAX:31-619 708248 YOU ARE ADVISED TO CONACT HIM IMMEDIATELY FOR MORE DETAILS ON WHEN YOU SHOULD VISIT.FEEL FREE TO DISCUS WITH HIM ANY TIME AND LET ME KNOW WHATEVER YOU ARRIVE AT. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO AMSTERDAM? PLEASE LET US KNOW BECAUSE WE ARE WORRIED OVER OUR LIFE HERE IN THE CAMP. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU. MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: mikhailstroganov@yahoo.co.uk, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, hrhprincess_margaret Date: 17 Jan 2003, 11:45:37 AM Subject: Re: Re: RE: URGENT RESPONSE Dear Mrs. Swarin, Thank you for the attachments. As Agent Miracsky said to me over tea, 'Is all to good, is Mrs. Swearin, all much please'. I have forwarded the documents for routine security checks to Agent Stroganov who will contact you shortly. We have tried the phone number given but there was no reply. Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: agatha bristol Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 17 Jan 2003, 11:52:13 AM Subject: Re: Re: RE: URGENT RESPONSE MRS. SWARIN WHAT THE DEVIL ARE THESE DOCUMENTS_I HAVE NOT SEEN SUCH AMATEURISH WORK SINCE MY NEPHEW IGOR SHOWED ME THE JAMES BOND KIT HE RECEIVED FOR CHRISTMAS FROM MY WIFE KATERINA_I SUGGEST YOU EMPLOY SOMEONE WHO TAKES THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT SERIOUSLY OR QUITE FRANKLY THIS BUSINESS WILL BE DEAD IN THE WATER BEFORE IT STARTS_I COULD NOT EVEN OPEN TWO OF THE ATTACHMENTS_SEND THEM AGAIN TOUTE DE LA SUITE AS TIME AND TIDE WAITS FOR NO MAN REFUGEE CAMP OR NOT_LADY AGATHA IS NOT ONE TO BE TRIFLED WITH WOMAN I SUGGEST YOU GET YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER OR STOP BOTHERING US ALTOGETHER_WE ARE READY TO MOVE BUT I DOUBT YOUR SERIOUSNESS AND INTEGRITY_THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO CONVINCE ME SO GET ON WITH IT AND STOP THIS NEEDLESS DILLY DALLYING AROUND MIKHAIL STROGANOV Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: PLEASE MADAM YOUR AGENT IN RUSSIA IS MAKING THINGS DIFFICULT FOR ME BY INSULTING ME IN HIS MAIL EVERYTIME IF HE IS NOT INTERESTED TO HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION FOR ME AND MY SON PAUL LET ME KNOW BECAUSE WE ARE SCARED. WE ARE NOT CONFORTABLE WITH THIS MAN. I AM SENDING THE MAIL HE SENT TO ME WITH THIS MAIL. HE SIAD THAT WANT WE SENT IS VERY POOR. WHICH ONE IS VERY POOR ,IS IT THE POWER OF ATTORNEY WHICH WE DRAFTED IN THE CAMP WITHOUT GUIDE OR IS THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT WE GOT FROM GLOBAL AND BASIC FINACIAL SECURITIES? PLEASE HELP BECAUSE WE ARE CONFUSE.AT THIS TIME WHAT WE WILL CONCERN OURSELF WITH SHOULD BE HOW YOU PEOPLE WILL GO TO AMSTERDAM TO COLLECT THE MONEY ON OUR BEHALF. CONERNING THE PERCENTAGE OF MOVING IT TO 45%. WE WILL RATHER OFFER YOU 38% OF THE TOTAL SUM OF $20M MY SON PAUL IS VERY GRATEFUL TO YOUR KINDNESS BUT NOT CONFORTABLE WITH YOUR AGENT. WE DO NOT HAVE ANY OBJECTION CONCERNING WHO WILL GO TO AMSTERDAM YOU HAVE TO GET CLEARANCE WITH DR ! JEREMY PAUL DUNN IN AMSTERDAM. REPLY NOW . THANKS AND GOD BLESS. THERISA SWARIN From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: mikhailstroganov@yahoo.co.uk, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 18 Jan 2003, 11:29:19 AM Subject: RE: URGENT RESPONSE My dear Mrs. Swarin, Please excuse Agent Stroganov. He does speak his mind but I can assure you that I have just spoken to him and the reason he can be a little abrupt at times is because he wants this transaction to go through with the minimum of fuss. Please re-email him (and me) the documents again and we will send them to our offices in Bollockshire for analysis - don't worry, only Agent Miracsky and I will see them. Do bear with Stroganov - he is ex-KGB. Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: PLEASE LET ME HAVE YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT COPY FOR MY SECURITY. HERE ARE THE CONTACT OF THE SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM WHERE THE MONEY IS DEPOSITED . THE DIRCTORIS DR JEREMY PAUL DUN TEL:31-625-311953(TRY THIS ONE NOW) TEL:31-613-593475 FAX:31-645-244232 FAX:31-619 708248 YOU ARE ADVISED TO CONACT HIM IMMEDIATELY FOR MORE DETAILS ON WHEN YOU SHOULD VISIT.FEEL FREE TO DISCUS WITH HIM ANY TIME AND LET ME KNOW WHATEVER YOU ARRIVE AT. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO AMSTERDAM? PLEASE LET US KNOW BECAUSE WE ARE WORRIED OVER OUR LIFE HERE IN THE CAMP. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.ALL THE NUMBERS ARE WORKING ACCORDINGLY. MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: mikhailstroganov@yahoo.co.uk, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 18 Jan 2003, 11:32:26 AM Subject: RE: URGENT RESPONSE Dear Mrs. Swarin, Thank you for your note. I am terribly sorry but National Security here forbids me showing you my passport. However, I am delighted to say that we have spoken to a gentleman at the Global Security Company - at last. Unfortunately he said that he did not know Dr. Jeremy Paul Dun and that he did not believe me when I said I was part of MI6. I will ask Stroganov to call. As ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: therisaswarin@epatra.com Cc: agathabristol, ilichy.miracsky Date: 18 Jan 2003, 02:57:12 PM MRS SWARIN WHERE ARE THE DOCUMENTS_WE NEED THEM FOR SECURITY CHECKS TO SEE IF YOU REALLY ARE JUST TRYING TO RIP OFF HER MAJESTY OR SOMEONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY BE OF BENEFIT TO THE NATIONAL INTERESTS OF GREAT BRITAIN_IF YOU SOMEHOW MANAGE TO GET THESE DOCUMENTS TO ME CORRECTLY IT WILL GO A LONG WAY TO BUILDING SOME SEMBLANCE OF TRUST BETWEEN US_HOWEVER I HAVE MY DOUBTS ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU START WHINING TO LADY AGATHA OVER SO CALLED INSULTS_MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO GET TO WORK ON WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE AND FORGET ALL THIS OVERSENSITIVE NONSENSE OTHERWISE THIS WHOLE DEAL COULD GO TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET MIKHAIL STROGANOV Stroganov Publishing (Pvt) Ltd 4402 Bowdinskaya Street Moscow 0169 Russia From: "Marmite Luny-Binns" To: Scamorama readers Date: 20 Jan 2003, 05:15:44 AM Subject: Fwd: Re: Re: Re: urgent response Mrs Swarming has sent Me some lovely documents which will, I am sure, bring a smile to Her Majesty's lips when I show them to her over a pint in the old Cock and Bull this evening. From: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin2@epatra.com] To: Marmite Luny-Binns Subject: Re: Re: Re: urgent response Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 23:17:29 +0530 HERE ARE THE DOCUMENTS THAT WILL ASSIST YOU TO GO FOR THE BOXES , TOGETHER WITH THE COPY OF MY INTRNATIONAL PASSPORT. THANKS THERISA SWARINThe Certificate: From: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin2@epatra.com] To: Sir Marmite Luny Binns Date: 18 Jan 2003, 01:51:00 AM Subject: RE: urgent response i hope you received my attachments concerning my international passport and other agreed documents.please acknowledge. when are you going to amsterdam? thanks and god bless you. MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "Marmite Luny-Binns" To: therisaswarin2@epatra.com Cc: hrhprincess_margaret Date: 20 Jan 2003, 05:33:54 AM Subject: RE: urgent response My dear Mrs Swearin, Thank you so much for contributing the documents for our consideration, and I am pleased to say that they are entirely adequate in the cause of ensuring this business will proceed. I am delighted to say that I will be able to make the trip to Amsterdam next week. Because of the nature of this business, and the discretion required by the matters in hand, I will be travelling under a secret identity, under the name of Henry Higgins. Please make this fact known to the security company. I will will naturally not be wearing my robes of state, although shall have with me Mr Frankie Frasier, my security consultant. One elements remains to be resolved: that of the temporary Oath of Allegience. As you might know, Palace Protocol dictates that those in business with Her Majesty, or her closest representatives, sign and return a purely temporary agreement to act in Our best interests. The text is as follows: "I, [Theresa Swearin], being of sound mind and body, do swear humble merkin and fey feasiance to the service of Her Gracious Majesty Princess Margaret, to the test in all Her issue and dominion, pursuaint in this moment of our right royal business. (signed) (date) This should ideally be typed out, signed legibly and then scanned to be returned as an attachment. I am sure you will indulge us with this small request, the completion of which will expedite matters hugely. Please excuse a delay in writing to you again tomorrow as it is possible I may have to present at the inauguration of Sir Barney MacGrue. In the meantime I remain most cordially yours, MARMITE Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: ATTN:Mikhail PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR FAX NUMBER TO ENABLE ME FAX THE DOCUMENTS BECAUSE I HAVE TRIED ATTACMENT FOR SEVERAL TIMES OK.WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.WHERE DID YOU GET THE ONE YOU MENTIONET THAT THEY ARE WORTHLESS?IF YOU DID NOT GET THE DOCUMENTS AT ALLAND YOU REMEMBER THAT I DID NOT WRITE TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE AS I DO NOT TRUST ANYBODY FROM RUSSIA. I ONLY WANT BE IN ENGLAND AND THAT IS WHY I WROTE TO LADY AGATHA AND IF YOU DO NOT WANT HELP US NO PROBLEM.WE CAN LOOK FOR ANOTHER PERSON. WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON. HAVE YOU CONACTED THE SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM? OUR CONDTION HERE IS TERRIBLE AND IF THIS TRANSACTIN CONTINUE FOR ALONG TIME WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SEND MAILS AS THI COST US A LOT OF MONEY. THANKS THERISA SWARIN From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, agathabristol Date: 20 Jan 2003, 01:16:23 PM Subject: Re: URGENT RESPONSE MRS SWARIN: FOR GODS SAKE YOUR EMAIL ACCOUNT WAS DOWN AND NOW YOU HAVE THE TEMERITY TO LECTURE ME ABOUT URGENCY_I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY CAREER_I ASKED YOU TO RE-SEND THE ATTACHMENTS FOR ROUTINE SECURITY CLEARANCE YET YOU HAVE NOT EVEN DONE THIS SIMPLE THING_YOU MAY NOT TRUST PEOPLE FROM RUSSIA MY DEAR WOMAN BUT THE FACT IS THAT I AND AGENT MIRACSKY ARE LADY AGATHA BRISTOLS TWO MOST TRUSTED CONFIDANTES AND I CAN SCUPPER YOUR TAWDRY SCHEME AT ANY TIME_HOWEVER IN THE INTERESTS OF GOODWILL AND THIS TRANSACTION GOING THROUGH I WILL ACCEPT THE DOCUMENTS AS AN EMAIL ATTACHMENT_HOWEVER I STILL HAVE MY DOUBTS THOUGH THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO MAKE GOOD ON YOUR WORD MIKHAIL STROGANOV From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: therisaswarin@epatra.com Subject: Date: 18.1.2003 - 23:57:14 MRS SWARIN WHERE ARE THE DOCUMENTS_WE NEED THEM FOR SECURITY CHECKS TO SEE IF YOU REALLY ARE JUST TRYING TO RIP OFF HER MAJESTY OR SOMEONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY BE OF BENEFIT TO THE NATIONAL INTERESTS OF GREAT BRITAIN_IF YOU SOMEHOW MANAGE TO GET THESE DOCUMENTS TO ME CORRECTLY IT WILL GO A LONG WAY TO BUILDING SOME SEMBLANCE OF TRUST BETWEEN US_HOWEVER I HAVE MY DOUBTS ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU START WHINING TO LADY AGATHA OVER SO CALLED INSULTS_MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO GET TO WORK ON WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE AND FORGET ALL THIS OVERSENSITIVE NONSENSE OTHERWISE THIS WHOLE DEAL COULD GO TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET MIKHAIL STROGANOV From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: Ilichy Miracsky Cc: agathabristol Date: 20 Jan 2003, 01:19:14 PM Subject: Re: AGENT MIRACSKY IT IS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU MY FRIEND_IF YOU ARE ONSIDE WITH THIS SCHEME THEN I TAKE WHATEVER YOU SAY AS GOSPEL AS WE SERVED IN THE BOWDEN/LEVY CAMPAIGN TOGETHER_IF MRS SWARIN IS KOSHER IN YOUR JUDGEMENT THEN WE WILL GO WITH HER PROPOSAL_LET US ALSO HOPE THAT WE CAN COUNT ON LADY AGATHAS SKILL IN SUCH SITUATIONS MIKHAIL STROGANOV Ilichy Miracsky wrote:This ladys is all oddnesses, can be flob? Hope to no, as get on business sortage, but still mays onwards. ILICHY Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: ATTN:Mikhail PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR FAX NUMBER TO ENABLE ME FAX THE DOCUMENTS BECAUSE I HAVE TRIED ATTACMENT FOR SEVERAL TIMES OK.WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.WHERE DID YOU GET THE ONE YOU MENTIONET THAT THEY ARE WORTHLESS?IF YOU DID NOT GET THE DOCUMENTS AT ALLAND YOU REMEMBER THAT I DID NOT WRITE TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE AS I DO NOT TRUST ANYBODY FROM RUSSIA. I ONLY WANT BE IN ENGLAND AND THAT IS WHY I WROTE TO LADY AGATHA AND IF YOU DO NOT WANT HELP US NO PROBLEM.WE CAN LOOK FOR ANOTHER PERSON. WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON. HAVE YOU CONACTED THE SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM? OUR CONDTION HERE IS TERRIBLE AND IF THIS TRANSACTIN CONTINUE FOR ALONG TIME WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SEND MAILS AS THI COST US A LOT OF MONEY. THANKS THERISA SWARIN From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, agathabristol Date: 20 Jan 2003, 01:27:50 PM Subject: Re: URGENT RESPONSE My dear Mrs. Swarin, Thank you so much for your note. Why you do not trust Russians I am not sure but I can assure you that not only is Agent Stroganov 100% behind you, but the entire Special Operations Department is willing this transaction to go through, as our interests in West Africa would then be advanced. There is also the humanitarian angle to this project and we are truly grateful for your support. Do bear with us, Mrs. Swarin, and all will be well. We look forward to seeing the e-mail attachments, as discussed. Then we can look at our trip to Amsterdam. Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: I WILL SEND THE DOCUMENTS TO YOU BY TOMORROW AND YOU MUST UNDERTAND THAT WE ARE IN THE REFUSE CAMP AND DO NOT ALL THE TIME FOR OURSELVES TO MOVE AROUND REELY. AND SECONDLY THERE IS WAY IN THIS COUNTRY TOO SO ,IF YOU WANT TO ASSIST YOU MUST DO IT QUICKLY . WAIT FOR OUR REPLY WITH THE DOCUMENTS .ER DO NOT KEEP THE DOCUMENTS WITH US IN THE FREE PLACE IN THE CAMP. THANKS MRS THERISA SWARIN. From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: agathabristol@, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 21 Jan 2003, 12:15:33 PM Subject: Re: Re: URGENT RESPONSE MRS SWARIN VERY WELL IF THAT IS THE WAY IT IS THOUGH LADY AGATHA ASSURES ME THAT YOU ARE OF TRUSTWORTHY CHARACTER THOUGH I MUST SAY THAT MY DEALINGS WITH THE THIRD WORLD HAVE NEVER BEEN FRUITFUL_THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO PROVE ME WRONG AND THAT YOU ARE NOT JUST A FAT OLD MAN IN AN INTERNET CAFE IN DOWNTOWN LAGOS WITH A CHEAP SUIT BAD BREATH AND A REVOLTING OLD CIGAR_I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOUR DOCUMENTS IN DUE COURSE THEN PERHAPS WE CAN GET DOWN TO BUSINESS MIKHAIL STROGANOV From: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin2@epatra.com] To: Sir Marmite Luny Binns Date: 18 Jan 2003, 01:51:00 AM Subject: RE: urgent response i hope you received my attachments concerning my international passport and other agreed documents.please acknowledge. when are you going to amsterdam? thanks and god bless you. MRS THERISA SWARIN From: "Marmite Luny-Binns" To: therisaswarin2@epatra.com Date: 22 Jan 2003, 05:24:19 AM Subject: RE: urgent response My Dear Mrs Swarin Are you still interested in concluding this matter or not? My patience is not endless and I have to be at Plumbagge this weekend. Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: Scamorama readers Cc: ilichy.miracsky Date: 23 Jan 2003, 10:57:19 AM Subject: Re: INDEED IT IS SAD THAT SHE DOES NOT TRUST RUSSIANS AND THIS IS PROBABLY DUE TO SOME MISGUIDED MORALITY PLAY THAT CONSTANTLY TICKS IN HER MIND_AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED HOWEVER MRS. SWARIN WILL BE GIVEN THE FULL TREATMENT BY MYSELF, AGENT MIRACSKY AND LADY AGATHA BRISTOL WHICH I HOPE YOU AND THE SCAMORAMA MASSIF FIND AMUSING_SHE HAS EVEN RE SENT ME THE DOCUMENTS WHICH IS AN ACHIEVEMENT IN ITSELF GIVEN THAT SHE IS PROBABLY A FAT OLD MAN IN A CHEAP SUIT CORRESPONDING WITH ME FROM DOWNTOWN LAGOS_ALL GOOD WISHES FROM MOSCOW TO YOU AND YOUR YEASTY THINGS IN CANS MIKHAIL STROGANOV Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: HERE ARE THE DOCUMENTS. THERISA From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, agathabristol, m.barrymore Date: 23 Jan 2003, 11:03:01 AM Subject: Re: Re: Re: RE: URGENT RESPONSE MRS. SWARIN WHAT IN BLAZES IS THIS AMATEUR MOCKERY OF BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE_I ASKED FOR THE DOCUMENTS NOT SOME HALF COCKED TRIBAL TRIPE_I SUPPOSE THEY WILL HAVE TO DO AND IT IS AT LAST SOMETHING YOU HAVE MANAGED TO DO WITHOUT MAKING A MESS OF IT_THEY WILL BE SENT FOR ROUTINE SECURITY CHECKS AND IF THEY COME BACK CLEAN IT WILL GO A LONG WAY TO RESTORING OUR CONFIDENCE IN YOU_INDEED IF BY SOME MIRACLE THIS TRANSACTION GOES AHEAD I MAY WELL BUY YOU A DRINK MYSELF MIKHAIL STROGANOV Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] wrote: DEAR SIR, HERE ARE THE DOCUMENT YOU REQUESTED. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU. From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, agathabristol, m.barrymore Date: 23 Jan 2003, 11:05:03 AM Subject: Re: Re: DOCUMENTS MRS SWARIN THE DOCUMENTS WILL BE SENT FOR ROUTINE TESTING_THOUGH I HAVE MY DOUBTS AS I HOPE YOU REALISE FROM MY EARLIER MISSIVE_HOWEVER AS PER MY ORDERS FROM LADY AGATHA BRISTOL I WILL CONTACT YOU WHEN THE RESULTS COME IN GOD HELP YOU MIKHAIL STROGANOV From: "agatha bristol" To: Mikhail Stroganov Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 23 Jan 2003, 11:11:48 AM Subject: Re: Re: Re: RE: URGENT RESPONSE Agent Stroganov, I would appreciate it if you moderated your language. Mrs. Swarin has been described by Her Majesty as 'an outstanding individual' and has even been mentioned as a possible recipient of the Order of The Bed Pan. Mrs. Swarin, please do not take Agent Stroganov's abrasive manner personally. He is a naturally cautious man. Deep down, like all of us, he is desperately hoping this transaction goes through - his anxiety just shows itself differently. We are delighted with your progress and are looking forward to a trip to Amsterdam. Perhaps we could go out for a spot of tea, if you are agreeable? Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London [Enter the authoritative male financial figure to take over for Mrs. Therisa Swarin.] Jeremy Dunn [globasicfinsec@yahoo.com] wrote: ATTN: Lady Agatha Bristol. We refer to the above consignment recieved by order of Mrs.Therisa Swarin,the widow of late Mr.Simon Swarin for onward transfer to you. You are therefore advised to come to Amsterdan-Holland on the 31.01.03 to enable you sign some classified documents and take the delivery. you are also required to come along with the sum of $8500(Eight thousand five hundred dollers) which represents the insurance, security,handling,and cover charges of your consignment. Be informed that the above charges are not negotiable and cannot be deducted from the total sum because it goes to the diplomatic courier services that brought your consignment to Amsterdam therefore it must be cash. To enable our protocol officer to pick you up at the airport on arrival, Please kindly send your flight itinery on confirmation of your ticket. Best regards Jeremy Paul Dunn Director-Foreign Payments. +31613430930 +31613593475 Telefax+31203302741 +31619708248 From: "agatha bristol" To: Jeremy Dunn [globasicfinsec@yahoo.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, mikhailstroganov, m.barrymore Date: 25 Jan 2003, 02:40:38 PM Subject: Re: CONSIGNMENT Dear Sir, We are most anxious that another link - and therefore another security risk - has been added to this transaction. Mrs. Swarin told me that she would be the only person involved from your side. With the greatest of respect, do you have any idea of what we are trying to achieve? The United Kingdom's National Security could be at stake. Does that mean nothing to you? However, in the interests of goodwill, if you are prepared to make the Oath of Allegiance to Her Majesty we may reconisder our position. But please be aware that Her Majesty is rather nervous, to say the least - and Agent Stroganov is very unhappy. Here is the Oath. Please print it out on headed paper, date it, sign it (with a copy of your passport photo) and attach it to an email. "I, Jeremy Paul Dunn, swear by humble merkin that I shall assist Her Majestic Highness Princess Amber Jade in my most discombobulated way possible, all in order to further the interests of their right royal business". With thanks for your kind assistance. The money will not be a problem. Would you like Euros, one hundered pound notes or Czech Dork? Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London Jeremy Dunn [globasicfinsec@yahoo.com] wrote: ATTN: LADY BRISTOL, I´m fully aware of the transactions and as a chartered banker who is sworn to oath of secrecy do pledge my allegiance and to assist you in taking delivery of your consignment. In the event of being unable to meet up with the date earlier given,kindly inform me to enable me reschedule the appointment for another date and time. Meanwhile be assured of our best services at all times. Kindest Regards, J.P.Dunn Director-Foreign payments From: "agatha bristol" To: Jeremy Dunn [globasicfinsec@yahoo.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, mikhailstroganov, m.barrymore, therisaswarin@epatra.com Date: 28 Jan 2003, 03:16:43 PM Subject: Re: CONSIGNMENT My dear Mr. Dunn, Lady Agatha is the correct form of address, if I may. Thank you for your note and we appreciate your help. However, your oath of allegiance is woefully inadequate. Please at least type it out if you can't scan it. We know how difficult it is to get even the basics in the Third World so this will have to do. We are prepared to travel to Amsterdam shortly; however, Agents Miracsky and Stroganov will be travelling from Prague, and Stroganov has to get to Prague from Moscow. I am pleased to say that the flights are booked and that Rodney Trotter, DFC and Ronald Kray, our two finest pilots will endeavour to get them there as soon as possible. Thank you - once again - for your patience and consideration. Perhaps there is a gift we can bring you or your family? Some trinkets or watches, maybe? Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: Ilichy Miracsky Cc: agathabristol, globasicfinsec@yahoo.com, mikhailstroganov, m.barrymore, therisaswarin@epatra.com Date: 29 Jan 2003, 07:49:58 AM Subject: Re: CONSIGNMENT Excellent, Agent Miracsky. Agent Stroganov, please prepare to travel to Prague to meet Trotter and Kray. Please be aware that Amsterdam can be dangerous. Standard sidearms, please. Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations Ilichy Miracsky wrote: Hellooo Lady Agatha Am readies in this mattering, can onwards in short times, be all so tough guy to do. Hope hearings ILICHY DEAR SISTER, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR MAIL. I AM CONFUSED SINCE I CANNOT HEAR FROM YOU ALL THIS WHILE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOUR AGENTS ARE GOING TO AMSERDAM FOR THE COSIGNMENT. I HOPE THEY WILL LEAVE SOON BECAUSE WE ARE SUFFERING HERE IN THE REFUGUE CAMP AS THERE IS WAR ALSO IN ABDIJAN AND EVERY BODY IS RUNNING UP AND DOWN .WHAT YOU WANT TO SEND TO ME THROUGH DR PAU DUNN WILL BE RECEIVED WITH THANKS. I WILL BE WAITNG TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON .ARE YOU GOING WITH THEM? THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU AND HER MAJESTY THERISA From: "agatha bristol" To: Therisa Swarin [therisaswarin@epatra.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, mikhailstroganov Date: 29 Jan 2003, 08:40:16 AM Subject: Re: Re:THANK YOU AND GOD BE WITH YOU My dear Mrs. Swarin, It is flattering that you think of me as your sister - but I must insist on the correct form of address; Lady Agatha will do nicely. We have been in contact with Mr. Dunn; however, he has not adequately completed the Oath of Allegiance to Her Majesty. This is critical for the health of this transaction. Agents Stroganov and Miracsky will be flying to Amsterdam together with Rodney Trotter and Ronald Kray, our best pilots, and it is hopeful that this can happen soon. However, the ball is very much in Mr. Dunn's court. God help you, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: agatha bristol Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 29 Jan 2003, 01:06:46 PM Subject: Re: Re:THANK YOU AND GOD BE WITH YOU MRS SWEARIN WHAT IN BLAZES IS THIS BLATANT CHASING UP WHEN YOU HAVENT EVEN HAD THE PROFESSIONAL COURTESY TO INFORM YOUR BETTERS WHAT IS GOING ON_FRANKLY I CANNOT SEE THIS TRANSACTION GOING THE DISTANCE AND IT MIGHT BE KINDER TO PUT IT OUT OF ITS MISERY_HOWEVER I HAVE MY ORDERS AND AM EN ROUTE TO PRAGUE TO MEET WITH AGENT MIRACSKY MIKHAIL STROGANOV From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: agathabristol Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 30 Jan 2003, 01:18:48 AM LADY AGATHA I AM IN PRAGUE BUT THERE IS NO SIGN OF MIRACSKY_DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT HE HAS GONE OUT WITH BARRYMORE FOR WINE WOMEN AND SONG_THERE WAS NO REPLY AT HIS APARTMENT AND WHEN I KICKED THE DOOR IN I NOTICED THAT THERE WERE USED PROPHYLACTICS EVERYWHERE AND A CARTON OF CUSTARD_WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON? STROGANOV From: "agatha bristol" To: Mikhail Stroganov Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com, ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 30 Jan 2003, 02:53:07 AM Subject: Re: Agent Stroganov: Stay where you are and I will ensure Miracsky gets back to his apartment immediately. Yours, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations Ilichy Miracsky wrote: Hellooo Mr Straganob, Lady Agatha Yes we am in Pracza but am in stay Hilton, all comfy, nice girls who play naughties be. Is sorry for confuse time. Hope hearings ILICY From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: Ilichy Miracsky Cc: therisaswarin@epatra.com, agathabristol, m.barrymore Date: 31 Jan 2003, 04:16:24 AM Subject: Re: AGENT MIRACSKY WHAT THE HELL IS THIS TRIBAL TRANSACTION TOMFOOLERY_WHY WASNT I INFORMED OF YOUR MOVEMENTS IN WHAT IS RAPIDLY TURNING INTO A MUD HUT FARCE_WHAT WILL MRS SWARIN THINK OF US_FOR GODS SAKE MAN THIS IS THE NATIONAL SECURITY OF THE REALM WE ARE TALKING ABOUT SO GET A GRIP AND STAY WHERE YOU ARE AND I WILL JOIN YOU PRESENTLY MIKHAIL STROGANOV [At last the oath of loyalty!] Jeremy Dunn [globasicfinsec@yahoo.com] wrote: ATTN: LADY AGATHA I JEREMY PAUL DUNN,DO SWEAR BY HUMBLE MERKIN THAT I SHALL ASSIST HER MAJESTIC HIGHNESS PRINCESS AMBER JADE IN MY MOST DISCOMBOBULATED WAY POSSIBLE,ALL IN ORDER TO FURTHER THE INTEREST OF THEIR RIGHT ROYAL BUSINESS: YOURS FAITHFULLY, JEREMY PAUL DUNN: I do hope this oath meets your demand while i look forward to seeing you real soon. Regards J.P.Dunn From: "agatha bristol" To: Jeremy Dunn [globasicfinsec@yahoo.com] Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore, mikhailstroganov Date: 31 Jan 2003, 04:33:20 AM Subject: Re: CONSIGNMENT Dear Mr. Dunn, This is excellent news. Well done, my dear fellow. Her Majesty is delighted. Your assistance is noted. I am also pleased to say that Agents Miracsky and Stroganov, together with Michael Montague Barrymore, are at the Prague Hilton negotiating the bill for various spillages and exotic desserts with the management and will be leaving for Amsteram shortly. Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE From: "agatha bristol" To: therisaswarin@epatra.com Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 04 Feb 2003, 01:44:14 AM Mrs. Swarin: Your contact in Amsterdam, Mr. Dunn, has successfully sworn the Royal Oath of Allegiance. However, we have yet to hear from him. Are you serious in this matter or not? I have to say that Mr. Koffi Williams is far more professional. Yours ever, Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office From: "Mikhail Stroganov" To: therisaswarin@epatra.com Cc: ilichy.miracsky, m.barrymore Date: 04 Feb 2003, 03:56:12 AM MRS SWARIN WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON? I KNEW THAT YOU WERE A CHARLATAN FROM THE BEGINNING_YOU HAVE NOT FOLLOWED THROUGH ON ANY OF YOUR PROMISES AND YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE A SHOULDER-PAD WEARING SHYSTER_I WOULD IMAGINE THAT YOU AND THE EMPTY HEADED GOONS YOU CALL BUSINESS ASSOCIATES IN YOUR IMAGINARY REFUGEE CAMP WILL NOT EVEN REPLY TO THIS_HOWEVER LADY AGATHA HAS SAID SHE WANTS THIS DEAL TO GO THROUGH SO SEND ME MORE DETAILS AT ONCE OR PERHAPS THAT USELESS INDIVIDUAL JEREMY DUNN COULD DEIGN TO CALL ME BACK OR CONTACT ME BY EMAIL NOW GET OFF YOUR FAT ARSE AND GET DOWN TO BUSINESS MIKHAIL STROGANOV Stroganov Publishing (Pvt) Ltd 4402 Bowdinskaya Street Moscow 0169 Russia |