THE WRATH OF MICROSOFT

Diane Maurrine Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2006 To: Alex Wale Subject: ELECTRONIC MAIL AWARD NOTICE (CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS OFFICER) From: mswordmegapromo <claimsofficerwilliamsscot@yahoo.co.uk> Reply-To: claimsofficerbillygraham@yahoo.co.uk INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT MICROSOFT MEGA JACKPOT LOTTERY, UNITED KINGDOM. 89 New Fetter Lane London, EC4A 1AG U.K MR. TINZO PAOLO PHONE #:+447024063776 REF NO: MSW/56B-672GH/L BATCH: 4583JL/WIN MICROSOFT MEGA JACKPOT LOTTERY PROMOTIONS, EMAIL AWARD PROMO: UNITED KINGDOM Finally today, we announce the winners of the MICROSOFT MEGA JACKPOT LOTTO WINNINGS PROGRAMS held on 26 th june 2006. Your company or your personal e-mail address, attached to winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100, with serial number 647489, consequently won in the Tenth lottery category. You are therefore been approved for lump sums pay out of GBP 5,500,000.00 POUN DS ($10,464,000 USD) in cash Credited to file REF NO: MSW/56B-672GH/L and winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100, this is from total prize money of GBP 27,500,000.00 POUNDS, shared among the Twenty five (25)international winners in this category. All participants were selected through our Microsoft computer ballot system drawn form 42,000 Names, 6,000 names from each continent, as part of International "E-MAIL" Promotions Program, for our prominent MS WORD user all over the world, and for the Continuous use of E-mail. Your fund (certified Cashiers cheque) has been insured with your REF NO: MSW/56B-672GH/L and winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100. To claim your winning prize, you must first contact the claims department by email for Processing and remittance of your prize money to you. The claims processor is: Name: Mr Billy Graham. E-mail:claimsofficerbillygraham@yahoo.co.uk Do email the above email a ddresses, all at once. In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and winning numbers in all correspondences with your claims officer. PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU ARE TO SEND THE BELOW INFORMATIONS REQUIRED TO CLAIM YOUR WINNING PRIZE: 1. Full Name: ........................... 2. Address: ................................ 3.Nationality: ...................................................... 4.Age: ........................Date of Birth: ...... 5. Occupation: .................................................... 6.Phone: ............Fax: .................................. 7. State of Origin: ...Country: ................. 8: DELIVERY OPTIONS Upon reciept of the duly requested data, I will send you the contact information of the payment office so you can proceed with effecting the release of your claim in anyway you deem fit, submit back immediately DELIVERY OPTIONS: (1) A: BANK SWIFT WIRE TRANSFER (2): COME TO OUR OFFSHORE PAYMENT CENTER IN UK (3): BY OUR COURIER FIRM, Sincerely, Secretary Mrs. Maurrine Diane H. NOTE: Do not reply this mail. You are to contact your claims officer immediately by email. Or call the promotion director MR. TINZO PAOLO on PHONE #:+447024063776 to confirm your winnings. [Anyone who finds this original should browse through Scamorama's WHOLE LOTTO NOTHING page.] Alex Wale Dear Billy, (June 26th) This is wonderful news, I am so thrilled. I have never won so much as a raffle, and then from out of the blue comes 5.5 million pounds! And I didn't even have to buy a ticket!! It all comes from Microsoft you say? Well, they can certainly afford it and "God Bless Bill Gates" is what I say, and to think he started off selling apples! 1. Full Name: .Alex Wale 2. Address: ...14 3/4 Adrian Mole Towers, Townends, Nottingham 3.Nationality: ...English. 4.Age: 47 Date of Birth: .29 Feb 1959..... 5. Occupation: .Mirkin Maker. 6.Phone: .None Fax: ....None. 7. State of Origin: Nottingham...Country: England 8: Deliver by Bank Transfer I'm sorry that I can't put in a phone number. I'm completely deaf and so have no use for a telephone. My entire contact with the outside world is via e-mail, (again God Bless Bill Gates!). Alex Wale Billy Graham Dear Alex Wale , (June 27th) I am in reciept of your mail and have forward your cheque to Platium bank to make the transfer.So you have choose the wire transfer which is option 2 you are now to open an online bank here in uk to be able to transfer your funds of 5.5 Million pounds to your local bank account in your country.Your funds is already with the bank and as soon as you open an account that is fill the required data and click on sumit you will be issued your account number and pin to make transfer So you are to click on the link below to rediect you to the open account page. http://platium-financial-house.com/openaccount.htm Website: http://platium-financial-house.com I hope you understand the pocedure emailed to you if not contact me to give you the guide lines. Mr Billy Graham, Claims Officer. [I had a look at 'platium house'. It had a good website and looked very professional at first sight, but on closer inspection it wasn't 'quite right'. To open an account there, I would have had to deposit $2500 and leave all my current bank details. The address of the bank was in Arsenal, Gloucestershire which isn't possible, and the postcode put the bank in Cheltenham Gloucestershire. I wrote to Lady Agatha at the Foreign Office Special Operations Dept., asking if she knew how to close it down. She passed this on to the Postmaster and shortly afterwards the bank was no longer accessible.] [For which Scamorama cannot claim the credit - perhaps it was the work of the Foreign Office, or the folks at Artists Against 419 - or the scammer's ISP? Respectable ISPs will respond if supplied with helpful details like the e-mail header.] Alex Wale Dear Mr Graham, (June 28th) I'm so excited, I didn't sleep last night, that's why I'm late in opening the shop. I'm afraid I went a bit overboard celebrating last night. I went to the super-market and bought a bottle of champagne and two big fillet steaks; one for me and one for Sook, my cat. I'm a bit confused though, you say that I chose "option 2", I don't think I did. Option 2 was "COME TO OUR OFFSHORE PAYMENT CENTER IN UK" and I didn't pick that because I couldn't figure out how it could be 'off-shore' and 'in the UK' I've visited the website you sent me to. I didn't really want to open another bank account, especially with an Internet bank, and it turns out that I have to deposit quite a sum in order to open an account. I don't have that sort of money to hand, there is a bit set by for my VAT bill, but this will just about wipe it out. I realise that I will get the money back again, but can you tell me how long it will take? My VAT is due very soon, and it would be a shame to mar my good fortune by being in jail when the money arrives. I had thought that a "swift wire transfer" would have put the money directly into my existing account. Why couldn't you just send me the cheque rather than Platium Bank? Sorry to write to you with so many negatives, I think I'm a bit hung-over, and still in shock at finding myself so unaccountably rich, I keep thinking that it can't really be true. I look forward to hearing from you shortly. Alex Wale Mrs. Joan Anthony Dear Alex Wale , (June 29th) I am in receipt of your mail and it was clearlly understood you are advice to chose one out of our delivery option in other for our courier to deliver your winnings to your door step in stead of you opening an anccount as the courier delivery is the cheaper than the bank wire transfer,Awaiting your quick responds STATUS OF DELIVERY [PLEASE CHOOSE ONE] Courier charges ................................75.00 Pounds Administrative ...............................210.00 Pounds Insurance ..................................320.00 Pounds Length of days ...........................Same day delivery (BY DHL) Inland Revenue Tax......................45.00 pounds TOTAL 650.00 Pounds = $1,208.32 Courier charges ................................75.00 Pounds Administrative ...............................110.00 Pounds Insurance ..................................320.00 Pounds Length of days ...........................Two (2) to three (3) working days delivery (BY DHL) Inland Revenue Tax......................45.00 pounds TOTAL 550.00 Pounds = $1,017.21 Courier charges ................................75.00 Pounds Administrative ...............................110.00 Pounds Insurance ..................................220.00 Pounds Length of days ...........................Four (4) to Seven (7) working days delivery (BY DHL) Inland Revenue Tax......................45.00 pounds TOTAL 480.00 Pounds = $928.53 The charges are a little high because of the insurance cover we have undertaken incase of loss, damage or theft of your highly sensitive document. We assume all responsibilities incase of any eventualities. You are to make the payment through western union Money Transfer prefarable so as to speed up the process of delivery. As we do not accept credit cards on cases like this. You are to locate the nearest western union agent to you and make the payment through the name of our accounts officer below: MRS JOAN ANTHONY. Opening hours: 8.30am-6.00pm Monday to Friday. 8.30am-12.00 Noon Saturday. You are to fax this office a copy of the transfer slip. If you do not have a fax machine, just send the following information via email as they appear on the western union transfer slip: 1. Name and address of sender 2. Amount sent 3. Control number (MTCN) 4. Test question and answer if any You are to send a copy of the evidence of payment to your handling agent as well for confirmation. A receipt of the above payment will be issued to you from our office along with your check. Congratulations once more, Billy Graham, Claims Officer, [Strange colour scheme, no doubt supposed to look impressive.] Alex Wale Hi Billy, (June 29th) Blimey, those courier services know how to charge don't they? It would be cheaper for me to pay you to bring it, in fact, that's not a bad idea! I've been to my bank, and they said that they don't do western union, but they have a system of their own that they use for wiring money about. When I have moved some of my savings around, I'll have enough to send. It will mean draining my savings account but I'll soon be able to put it back won't I? I can't wait to have all that cash at my disposal, I'll be able to retire and put my business on the market and have even more to spend on my cat and I. I'll hopefully be able to send you the money tomorrow, unless there are cheques to clear in which case it will be Monday I'm afraid. Yours Alex Wale [I needed time to fake a currency transfer document.] Billy Graham Dear Alex Wale , (June 29th) I want to acknowlegde the receipt of your last email , You are advised to locate the nearest western union outlet to effect the payment depending on the delivery status you have choosen in other for the courier company to deliver your winnings immediately to your doorstep. Congratulations once more . Mr Billy Graham . Alex Wale Dear Billy, (July 3rd) I'm sorry, I couldn't get a western union transfer, my bank just doesn't like them as they prefer their own Guaranteed International Money Provision Service. Paying for this has cleaned me out, I've had hell of a job finding the money, and the only way I could make it up to the full amount was by arranging an overdraft. This is costing me a lot in interest, but I thought, "so what? I'll soon be able to pay it back!". This was another reason I've had to use the GIMPS, because it was at my banks insistence. Apparently I have some protection under the GIMPS in case of fraud. As you can see, I've gone for the quickest option, so I look forward to getting the delivery very soon. Yours Alex [I attach a GIMPS form. The idea and layout of the form are the work of 'Gilbert Murray' of http://www.scambuster419.co.uk/scambusts.htm; thank you for the permission to use this. My son, Chip Slog (14) designed this copy using Microsoft Publisher.] Billy Graham Dear Alex Wale , (July 3rd) I am in receipt of your mail, We don"t allow GIMPS payment option as you are advise to locate the nearest western union Money trasfer to effect the payment for us to carry out your delivery.And send me the scan copy of the payment information. You are to make the payment through our account officer name Finally , You are to note that you are to recall the payment made via GIMPS. Anthony Kelly. SENDER NAME; MTCN NO ; AMOUNT SEND; RECEIVER NAME; Billy Graham , Claims Officer , Alex Wale Graham, (July 4th) What do you mean "you don't allow GIMPS payment option"? Don't come that high and mighty tone with me matey, you're only a lacky. Any more of this crap and I'll be writing to Bill, that's Bill Gates by the way, owner of Microsoft and the benefactor of my good fortune. You've got the money for the courier, now get on with it, I'm not recalling anything! That has taken me days to sort out. That GIMPS form is acceptable at any bank that carries the VISA sign, what sort of set up are you running there? First you send me to some weird internet bank, and now you're telling me that you can't manage a simple VISA transaction. Alex Wale [I found myself getting genuinely cross here. I was annoyed that he hadn't accepted my GIMPS form. I had to give myself a good talking to.] Billy Graham Dear alex wale , (July 4th) I received your mail ,I have told you that we don't allow GIMP payment we only receive payment through ( western union MONEY TRANSFER ) that is the only way we receive money from our winners.so as you are advise to recall the money and locate the nearest western union MONEY TRANSFER to effet the payment. Alex Wale Graham, (July 5th) I've already told you that I've sent you the money. All you have to do is present it at any UK bank that has the VISA sign, and you'll get the money required for the courier. However, if you are so keen on western union, then get yourself down to their office and send me MY money directly to my account by the same route. You say that you will only use western union, so get on with it, there is no need for a courier at all. Alex Wale [I couldn't see where else to take this, so I thought I'd put a spanner in the works.] Alex Wale Dear Billy, (July 7th) I went to the bank this morning to cancel the GIMPS payment. They said that this was not possible as it had already been drawn. This is good news! I'm glad that we've finally been able to get that bit sorted out, and that now you have my payment I can expect the delivery soon. I was surprised that you haven't notified me, when is it coming? Alex Wale [And then it was the weekend. So this came as a surprise on Monday morning.] Billy Graham Dear Alex Wale (july 7th) This is to inform you that we have confirmed your payment with the GIMPS . Your package has been dispatched to the address you gave to this company. The package was dispatched at exactly 14:15 GMT of 7Th July 2006. You shall also produce a valid identification to sign for the package.The package shall arrive to you in the next 48 hours from the dispatch time quoted here. Thanks for your understanding. Mr. Billy Graham, Claims Officer. [I thought it must be a case of the Scamorama view of "the Lads having a bit of fun", a double bluff. Delivery on a Sunday? To Adrian Mole Towers? Townsend? Following payment from a GIMPS form? That would be a miracle. Thinking that it was all over, I attached a picture of the front cover of "The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole 13-3/4", from which Alex gets his address. But...] Billy Graham Dear Alex Wale, (July 10th) We could not complete the delivery of your winnings cheque to you due to the interception of the delivery by the Anti-Terrorist Clearance receipt ,You must Prosess anti-terrorist certificate to certify that this allege money will not be use for Anti-Terrorist and you do not have no connection or you are not going to use these funds to support terrorism the mail was sent to us and we were asked to forward it to you accordingly. We will like to plead with you to try as much as possible to come up with the required tax charge, and your winnings check will be duely remmitted to you. I sure hope to hear from you soon. Regard, Mr. Billy Graham. Alex Wale Dear Billy, (July 11th) I'm a little confused. Do you mean that I have to possess an 'Anti-Terrorist Clearance Receipt' or process one? I'm supposing that it might be both, as I'd have to possess one before it could be processed. And as all lottery winnings in the UK are tax-free, what is the tax charge? Please clarify in your next email. Alex Wale "UN Anti-Terrorist Department" (July 12th) DELIVERY UN ANTI-TERRORIST DEPARTMENT COPY: In care of Mr . Billy Graham ( MICROSOFT WORD MEGA PROMO ) From: UN ANTI-TERRORIST DEPARTMENT HOME OFFICE Ground Floor 286 Euston Road London NW1 3UH Case Reference: NONEUCL\566137 To: Alex Wale. Date: 13th July 2006. This is to inform you that your winnings will be Couriered to your winning number REF NO:MSW/56B-672GH/L and winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100 by ATLINE COURIER DELIVERY United Kingdon, was submited for routine inspection by the british Inland Revenue at the ATLINE COURIER OFFICE,London United Kingdom We discover that your CHEQUE are from the lottery winnings that emanated from the MICRO SOFT LOTTERY organisation online lottery program approve by the British Gaming Board.Your document which contain a winning cheque and a certificate ,reguired an Anti-Terrorist Certificate (ATC). This is required to certify that your funds are not proceeds of Drug trafficking or Terrorist Act(s).Your cheque based on its value, has been STOPPED. You as Consignee to make avaailble the following particular fee for procurement of your anti terrorist Certificate(ATC): A SCAN COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASPORT OR DRIVER LICENSE. THE SUM OF €1,200 (One thounsand Two Hundred Pounds) AS THE ANTI - TERRORIST PROCUREMENT FEE. Based on that policy of the British Inland Revenue Commission and taking the content of your winnings into consideration ,You are requested to pay the Anti Terrorist Certificate (ATC) fee on your winnings which is the Sum of €1, 200 (one thounsand two hundred pounds).The Anti Terrorist Certificate will be issued upon a receipt of the document aforementation reguirement and your cheque will commence for release by the by the official of (ATLINE COURIER DELIVERY)for immediate delivery to your doorstep. The British Customs Service Shall then release your winning document for onward delivery as we receive a confirmation of your payment of Anti Terrorist Certificate(ATC) fee from the consignee. NB , That payment should be made via western union money transfer, in care of the claims officer Billy Graham to our Head office address and send us a scan copy of the payment slip. [I had to laugh at the cheek of this.] Alex Wale Dear Billy, (July 12th) Bloody hell, this lottery business is just one bill after another! I could hardly believe that I'd got to shell out yet again just to get my winnings, but never mind, it'll all be alright in the end. I've been down to the bank and arranged a small loan on the strength that I have all this money coming in. When I explained what I was doing to the bank manager, he looked a little concerned. He told me that there was a lot of internet fraud and that I should make sure I wasn't being ripped off. I pointed him to the original bank page you directed me to, he was very impressed with their financial set-up, he said that it was as safe and genuine as Murray's Mint. Anyway, please find enclosed the required payment. Get on with it. Alex Wale [They want more money, no problem, GIMPS forms are very cheap. The scammers set themselves a tricky precedent earlier; they basically admitted they've cashed a GIMPS form.] [Note the increased amount :-) ] Alex Wale Billy, (July 17th) I've not had anything from the Un Anti-terrorist Department yet, how long do these things take? When am I finally going to get my money? Alex Wale [Notes of desperation are creeping in.] Billy Graham Dear alex wale , (July 17th) I have told you to stop sending money through you so called gimps if you really want to collect your winnings go and send the money throug western union money transfer. Bily Graham , Alex Wale Billy, (July 17th) What do you mean by "so called gimps transfer"? GIMPS is a completely safe and legitimate way of transferring cash, and you managed to cash the last one for the courier fee ($1200), so I fail to see what the problem is now. I suggest you stop wasting time and get your idle backside down to the nearest VISA outlet as you did the last time, and get my winnings sent pronto. I'm getting a bit sick of your constant delays and belly-aching over the ways I pay money. I'm going to write to Microsoft and tell them what sort of muppets they are employing as Claims Officers, and then you'd better be looking for a new job. Alex Wale Alex Wale Billy, (July 18th) What the hell are you playing at there? I've squashed things in my garden that are better organised than you. You've got my money now get on with it, fuckwit! Alex Billy Graham Dear alex wale , (July 18th ) How many times will i tell you to send the money through western union money trasfer well you are not ready to collect your money.how are my shure you exist in this word. Billy Graham. Alex Wale Dear Billy, (July 18th) I know it's very hot in the UK at the moment, but you really should not be hitting the bottle this early in the day. Your last email is almost gibberish, again not what I expect from a Claims Officer working for the Microsoft Corporation. You can rest assured that when I get my millions and if at some point I meet Bill Gates in a VIP lounge, I will tell him what an absolute fuckwit you are. Now, you've asked me "How many times will i tell you to send the money through western union money trasfer". The simple answer is I don't know. We can however, do some calculations. Such as, how long are you expecting to live multiplied by how many times a day are you going to tell me. It won't make any difference though, because I'm not going to send you any money through western union Tra nsfer. I've already sent you two GIMPS transfers, you've managed to cash one of them, so I fail to understand what your problem is. "well you are not ready to collect your money", I'll collect it any time, I didn't know that was an option. Better still, I'll PAY you to deliver it Billy. That's you personally. I'll pay you €250,000 to bring me my money, how's that for a tip. You'll be able to drink yourself stupid all day for years, on me. "how are my shure you exist in this word", I'm sorry, I don't understand this at all as I don't speak fuckwit. Now, cash the GIMPS and send me my cash, or bring it around to me and get your €250,000. Yours Alex Alex Wale Hi Billy Boy, (July 21st) The people at Microsoft must be overpaying you. I've offered you €250,000 just to sort out my paperwork and personally deliver my winnings. I'm guessing that would be two days work. €!25,000 pound a day!! And you turned it down! I think I've worked out your game. You make it deliberately difficult for people to pocket their money from Microsoft, and then when they can't meet your ridiculous requirements, you take the money yourselves. How else could you be making so much money that you can refuse a quarter of a million pounds? I shall by writing to Bill (that's Bill Gates by the way, not Billy the fuckwit) and tell him that you are misappropriating his prize funds. Then shall the wrath of Microsoft fall upon you, and lo, there will be much throwing-out-on-ear and renting of offices. Alex Wale [And that was the last I heard from them.]