Scam o Rama

FISHING OF MEN

Busted! feb 15 2006

The Foreign Office receives an Oath from Reverend Chris Uche! But it ain't over yet.

REV. CHRIS UCHE - scammer (rev_chrisuche@yahoo.com)

HRH MARGARET - no, not that one, another one
CHARLES FARNES-BARNES - CEO, Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank
JOSEPH KUCKER - Managing Director, Chavster, Manfred and Newman Merchant Bank International PLC
TUSHIE MESHUGANAH - Private Secretary to Sir Charles
STANLEY MUSWELL-HILL - Deputy Chief Executive, Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank
MICHAEL MONTAGUE BARRYMORE - legal counsel to her RH
ILICHY MIRACSKY - very special agent

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Subject: Dear Princess margaret. Date: Thu, 15 Dec 2005

Dear Princess Margaret,
I am Rev. Chris Uche, an associate pastor of word of Life church lagos Nigeria and a Director of a Non Governmental Organisation in Nigeria, I am priviledged to get your email since i have been dreaming to have contact with your princess , Princess, I have some good businesses i will like to instroduce to you which i suppose you will be of great help and assistance and also your humanitarian contributions towards my organisation will be of great lift to the plight of the poor children of my great country .

It is your interest towards this proposal that will enhance our communication and i will be in position to open up the business opportunities . My prayer goes to you and members of the Royal Family . The almighty God will continue to shower his blessings upon your life .
Thanks and God Bless you Real Good.
Yours Faithfully
Rev. Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

16 Dec

Dear Reverend Ouch

How nice to hear from you, even if it is rather out of the blue. Perhaps becuase as you may of heard, I am keen on good causes and like to see you people get what they deserve.

Please feel free to communicate your news and I will give it my full attention. I take the liberty of copying in Dr Farnes Barnes, our chap here who is responsible for any charitable dispersements. This sort of thing is so essential at Christmas, don't you agree?

By the way are you Protestant or Catholic? We don't usually deal with squalid little denominations outside of the regular, as I am sure you will understand. One hears such dreadful stories about Ju Ju and the like on the radio.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 909 674 4848

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Date: Tue, 20 Dec 2005

Dear Princess Margaret ,
I want to thank you sincerely for your mail.May the Almighty God bless you more abundantly and continue to give you his loyal blessings.
I am actually a Pentecostal Rev. I was formally a Catholic but later called to Pastor a Pentecostal Church here in Lagos Nigeria.I have been involved in the rehabilitation of the lives of the less previledged in my society,these include the destitutes,the orphans and the poor.The poor are those who cannot afford to eat squarely due to unavailability of certain prevailing circumstances around them.The Lord directed me to use my little resources as much as i can to help these class of the society and i usually seek for fund here and there. A lot of people come to my aid in cash and in kind and the Lord has been very wonderful in this fight.Your Royal Princess,I come to you with a clean spirit that you will be of help and i know the Lord will surely visit you at all your point of needs.
Besides,I have some tips for investment purposes and i know it will be of interest if we look at the prospects of these business options.
Firstly,My Father died some five years ago and he was a Chief in my town but he left over 2 Acres of Land for me and my younger ones,these Land can be used for different business purposes here in Nigeria,Cassava processing for export is a big business here and it is doing wonderfully well.The Cassava can be processed and marketed in Asia and other parts of the World where it is used for flour.We also have large Quantity of Palm Oil processing which also goes for export.We also have rubber and even crude oil all for export. these are viable businesses which i can represent your interest very well and before long,we shall develop into a bigger business concern. My dear Princess see what you can do for me and the areas you will come in for us to harness together. If you want to invite me over,i can come personally for us to see face to face for more understanding of ourselves.But be rest assured that i count on you for the survival of these less previledged and others who need care.
Thanks and God Bless You.
Rev.Chris Uche.

PRINCESS MARGARET

Dec. 20

Dear Rev Louche

Many thank for the detailed reply and I must admit that I feel very much more assured now of your probity and moral qualities, in every regard. It is so rare these days (and I speak knowing the unfortunate proclivities of the Archbishop of Smegaroon, so much in the news of late) to find a Churchman who is both genuinely spiritual and yet of necessity worldly at the same time.

After speaking to my advisors, we feel that would like to be involved in your little project and see what can be done. Although you are not, strictly speaking C of E, merely some native denomination of your own devising as far as we can see, this will not cloud our disposal of charity towards your good offices. After all one should not nit pick too much at this time of the year.

We were much intrigued by the investment potential of the Cassava. Here in London I quite often enjoy a cassata myself after a quattro formagii with extra pepperoni.

Anyways back to cases, and we shall be pleased to arrange a meeting between ourselves perhaps in the new year. You may wish to fly to London for discussions or I suppose I can make a slight detour to the royal progress in late Jan and pay you a visit then. It would be sweet to see your little mission and what you have been up to.

Please let me know what you decide and I will delighted to make some arrangements made in lieu. May I just add that I am immensely proud and excited to be involved in such worthwhile project and will do my best to see that you soon get what you obviously deserve.

Very best wishes MARGARET

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Subject: Reply Urgently.Rev Chris Uche Date: Wed, 21 Dec 2005

Attn: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret,

I am sorry that I could not respond to you immediately.I was busy with in house activities regarding my programmes.I must say that I am delighted by your quick response to my mail and the positive approach you gave to my business option,may the Lord bless you as you plan ahead towards the success of our endeavours.I tried many times today to reach you on the phone you gave to me but it could not get connected as the connections said it is not available and cannot be reached. I prefer you give me other lines that is accessible to you.I am comfortable with your decision for the cassava processing industry and I will give you my spiritual and moral support for us to succeed.

I will not fail to appreciate your kind gesture towards the less previledged in my care and I am not in a hurry for the assistance you may render because we have started a relationship which by the grace of God will endure.This is a relationship the Lord has brought together and it will be like the rock of Gibralter founded on a platform of love and unity for the common purpose of building a prosperous tomorrow. It is my pleasure to visit you in London next year by your invitation and I will like us to look forward to that.Continue to discuss with your advisors concerning the project and relate with me regularly on whatever measures you want us to take for a start.

I am confident that you will stand by me and in all honesty,I pledge my loyality and sincere commitment to our lofty ideals. Christmas,is by the corner and I intend to travel to my town to hold a crusade for my aged people. If there is any break in our communication me,Believe that I am away for a while. I intend to travel on Saturday.

Meanwhile and always,You can reach me in this phone 234-8057930233. I can be reached on this phone anywhere in Nigeria even in my town.

While,I rest my case here for now,I pray that the Almighty God keep you alive and continue to shower his blessing upon your life.

Sincerely Yours Rev. Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

21 Dec

Dear Rev Ouch

I am so sorry that you have been calling so fruitlessly. It appears that there is a problem with the local exchange. Please try our main switchboard at the Palace 44 (0)20 7766 7300 and ask to speak either to me or, via her steward, Sir Hugh Janus, Queen Elizabeth herself who, it appears has graciously agreed to become involved. This is a rare honour I need hardly need tell you! Kind regards

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Date: Thu, 22 Dec 2005

Attn: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret I acknowledge receipt of your mail with great thanks and expectation of a good thing to happen in ours lives and the live of the Nigerian less privileged people . I am delighted to hear that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the 11 is interested in our proposals . I want to continue to express my profound gratitude to you for always taking your precious time to communicate with me . Since I commenced communication with you, I have been feeling greatly honoured because I begin to wonder my, person , who I am to be involved with her princess . But I know it takes humanity to descend to a level.

The only thing I can tell you is that I will never disappoint you. The lord will lead me to the right part in my relationship with and the proposed business. May I use this media and opportunity to introduce my person I was born from a poor family background ,without fame, if God said through you I will be famous so be it. It is my wish to suggest that whatever we are doing so long as it has taken God's own permission to better the life of those under my care. I know it take a lot of stress and pain but the Almighty God has already decreed success for us and has promised to stand by us in all facets .
At this point I am only waiting to hear from you the take off time for the business as it needs a lot of planning and proper arrangement to suit export . So you intimate me on any ideas of yours to enable me start putting necessary machineries in place.

I tried to call again today but got a switchboard with a voice instruction that no one talks to the royal family on phone except through writing . I think , I don't need to disturb about phoning you since email are convenient enough , except with direct phone line or you find time to call me on the number I gave to you .It is has been wonderful relating with you and may I say for once merry Xmas in advance and a prosperous New Year to all numbers of the Royal Family. I am still waiting for your confirmation of my visiting London next year. May the lord grant her Majesty the Queen more Healthy Years for the good of us and the entire world. Sincerely Yours Rev. Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

23 dec

Dear Rev Douche

Many thanks and your good wishes are well appreciated. I am very alarmed that you should have received such a message about my availability when I left specific instructions that you should be put through. I must apologies for the inconvenience. The problem has been with staff retention over the Christmas season. So many of these precious people have to go off with their families and what not, and so it leaves us with rather an inexperienced crew here.

Would be it be too much trouble to ask you to dial again and this time to a different number? I will leave precise instructions this time as to how you should be treated and you will get exactly what you deserve I am sure. Please try 44 870 751 5170. This should reach my office at Kensington Palace and it will be much easier to get through. If I am not there, you can easily speak to Princess Candice, my niece who is staying over Christmas with her Uncle.

During the morning croquet set, I had the honour of mentioning your name to the Queen and she sends her best wishes.

Kind regards my dear fellow MARGARET

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Date: Thu, 29 Dec 2005

Attn:Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret
wishing you a happy christmas and a prosperious new year ahead with your entire Royal family and Her Royal majesty the Queen , Sorry for the break in communication i was out of town for a christmas retreat with my church for the elderly people and also to send out their christmas package as little as i could. Meanwhile hope you are having a nice seasonal celebration as i have prayed for God's continuel blessing upon your entire household . Please acknowledge the receipt of this massage as you receive it in peace.
Thanks and God Bless
Rev. Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

1 Jan 06

Dear Rev Douche

I have indeed received your message, and am somewhat relieved that you are hale and healthy. I was reading only recently about the troubles in your part of the world, and believe when I say I was so worried that you had been stuck with a burning tyre round your neck, or met with the wrong end of machete - an alarming prospect instead of the Christmas turkey and plum pudding we all enjoyed at Smegaroon Castle over the holidays.

Let us proceed to a satisfactory conclusion to this proposed business as soon as possible my good fellow, whilst your luck holds. Incidentally did you and your wives manage to attend Midnight Mass on Christmas Day? We had a most charming candle lit procession down through the arches at Tossov Catherdral.

Let us chat soon,
MARGARET

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Date: Mon, 2 Jan 2006

Received: from [213.185.106.81]

Attn: To Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret

Happy New Year your Highness.
Thanks for your mail i am most greatful to read from you this new year, I received your mail with a deal of expectation and the planned business take off .As a matter of fact i will give you a full detailed email of how we are going to proceed to actualize this business in know distant time please patiently wait for my full email about how we shall move this great business to a greater level. Also thanks for your concern about my family we heard a nice christmas and we all save here .
Expect my full detailed mail soon .
Thanks and God Bless
Rev Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

4 Jan

Dr Rev Ouch

Excellent news. I await developments and feel sure that you will soon get what is coming to you.

God help you,
MARGARET

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Date: Wed, 4 Jan 2006

Attn: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret ,

Thanks for your response and co-operation. I will send you the details soon as i am working on the complete and full skitch of the cassava processing . The details will be coming to you soon . Have a wonderful day .

Thanks Rev. Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

05 Jan

Excellent news, Duche. I expect great things of this and I am sure you will get what is deservedly owing you, one way or another.

MARGARET

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Subject: Rev Chris Uche. (Respond) Date: Wed, 11 Jan 2006

Attn: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret

I greet you once again in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.How are you in this new year together with Her Royal Magesty,Queen Elizabeth the ii. My sincere Regards goes to every one of you.I could not respond to the business proposals as early because of my other church activities,I am sorry for the delay.However,it is imperative that i cannot just rush to give you something or give you details without proper investigations and accurate information of every data. This is why it took me some time to do considering that every information i give you must be correct.

Princess, it is interesting to inform you that the people that inhabit South East of Nigeria where i come from are known for their industry especially in the area of farming. In their annals as a people,the determination to excel has always being associated with them.This is why they have distinguished them selves in the area of farming even though it is done manually.Their staple food is garri, a derivative from processed cassava.

This proposal for the setting up of a cassava processing plant has as its primary objectives.

(a) Provision of Employment for the youths (b) Elimination of all the stress and many hours wasted manually processing cassava.

This plant when fully established will also process Maize.The proposal has been structured into parts. The first part has to do with the formal and legal registration of the company with the Corporate Affairs Commission ( CAC) this is Nigeria's company registration and regulatory agency.

The second part will deal with the buildings and offices and the final part is the machineries to be installed in the factory.

PART :1 Item: (1) Registration of Company. I suggest that you make an input here by giving me a name to be used. PART B: Building & Structures.

Items: (1) Purchase of Land (2) Building of Factory (3) Building of Office Storage House (4) Sinking of a water Borehole (5)Installation of 4 Overhead tanks of septic tank for waste from processed cassava. (6) External works (Construction of Security post and rest rooms for workers during break periods. (7) Contruction of slabs. PART : C. MACHINERIES I am still working on the proposal as it concerns machineries. I want to make sure it is detailed and no item is left out.This will be forwarded as soon as it is ready.But if you need the cost for part (B) and cost for registration,i will be willing to forward to you as soon as you respond to this.

May i at this juncture pray that as you embark on this project, the Lord almighty will provide the means and the courage for a true partnership. Princess,how will you help my children,Can you be of help this time,We need little assistance.

Thanks Rev Chris Uche.

PRINCESS MARGARET

12 Jan

Dear Rev Ouch

Many thanks indeed for the outline of your plans which look to be absolutely splendid.

I am so impressed that I take the liberty of copying then into our Dr Farnes Barnes who is in charge of business investment here for his appraisal. He is provided with a small fund of Golden Dorks for some third world charitable work and/or investment and I am sure he will be keen to see that you get what you seem to deserve.

MARGARET

SIR CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

13 January 2006

Dear Reverend Ouch,

Her Royal Highness Princes Margaret, Great Duchess of Tesco, has instructed me to send you fifty thousand golden dorks to set up the cassava farm as you requested.

You ask Her Royal Highness to name the enterprise and she suggests that the project be named The James T Kirk Farm which would memorialise the name of her late father in law, a high-ranking officer in the United Network Command for Law Enforcement [U.N.C.L.E].

Please send me details of your bank account [the address, the sort code and your account number] so that I can effect the transfer of funds early next week.

Yours truly,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Chief Executive Officer
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
London WC1 FU2

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH

Dear Reverend Ouch

I happened to mention your project to set up a cassava farm for unemployed youths to one of our most distinguished clients, Lady Agatha Bristol, Head of Special Operations at the British Foreign Office.

She was most interested in your scheme and you may like to contact her and give her further details as you may be given a British Government grant to help your new venture.

Lady Agatha may be contacted by e-mail at xxxxxxx@iv-i-ix.xxx or you may write to her c/o The Foreign Office, Whitehall, London SW1 FU2.

She also suggests that you copy any letter or e-mail you send to her to Mr Joseph Kucker, the Managing Director of the British Government's bank used for aid to the Council of Underdeveloped Nations Trust. He may be contacted by e-mail at xxxx@iv-i-ix.com or by post. His address is:

Joseph Kucker
Managing Director
Chavster, Manfred and Newman Merchant Bank International PLC
69 Blunkett Avenue
St Dunstans
London FU1 7TT

With kindest regards,

Tushie Meshuganah
Private Secretary to Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC

REV. CHRIS UCHE

CC: HRH Princess Margaret

Date: Sat, 14 Jan 2006

Dear Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC ,

I am in receipt of your last mails. I want to express my profound gratitude to Her Royal Highness, Princes Margaret, Great Duchess of Tesco, for her continued interest and assistance .

I have taken note of the name which you have given to me - The James T Kirk Farm. The project will be named after this gentle man of blessed memory . I have also taken note of the people you instructed me to contact for further assistance as we progress . I intend to contact them as soon as may be.

I will forward the account details to you on or before Tuesday next week . As soon as i receive this fund, I will commence with the project implementation.

Permit me to suggest that in the not so - distant - time, I will request Her Highness to send a representative to see the extent of progress on the project . As soon as the project is completed I will again request for a representative to witness the commissioning. To further cement this relationship, It will be my honour to meet with Her Highness over there on invitation.

May the good Lord continue to guide and protect her.

Thanks

Yours Faithfully,
Rev. Chris Uche

A letter like this makes all our work worthwhile, does it not ?
Kindest thoughts,
Sir Charles

SIR CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

My Dear Reverend Ouch,

Thank you for your e-mail. Her Royal Highness, Princess Margaret, Great Duchess of Tesco, is delighted that you will name your farm after her father-in-law Captain James T Kirk. Indeed, she has now decided to double her contribution to one hundred thousand golden dorks - the equivalent of one hundred and twenty two thousand US dollars.

However, this money can only be sent by a bank transfer. So to repeat the instruction given you by my personal secrteray Ms Tushie Meshuganah [a native of Zimbabwe, incidentally], you must let me have the name of your bank, the sort code and the account number.

Yours sincerely, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC Kerplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC

REV. CHRIS UCHE

CC: Princess Margaret

Date: Mon, 16 Jan 2006

Dear Sir Charles Farnes Barnes VC

Thanks for your mail which came with great expectations for a better tomorrow especially for those jobless fellows around me. There is no doubt that what you are about to do in Nigeria will bring succour and restore hope to a lot of hopeless ones who throng on me daily for assistance .

The magnanimity of Princess and her kind gesture towards this project will surely be rewarded because the God we serve is there for us always . In a few hours from now i will send the account to you because i don't have a domicilliary account, I am trying to get one from one of my senior church member i hope it will serve the purpose. As soon as the fund is comfirmed in his account , he will hand the money over to me immediately and i will proceed with the project.

As we progress , i will open a domicilliary account in the name of the company so that foreign transactions will be easy. Mr. Barnes, Please can i have your telephone number i would want to talk to you from time to time if it is necessary.

Thanks for all your co-operation Yours Faithfully Rev. Chris Uche

SIR CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

16 Jan

Dear Reverend Ouch,

Thank you for your e-mail of January 15th.

I shall be attending an international conference in Smegaroon until Thursday and will be unable to complete any financial business until later this week.

However, I am pleased to inform you that details of a bank account held by one of your church elders will suffice for a transfer of the golden dorks. Send me these details as soon as possible for this transfer to take place.

I believe you will shortly be hearing directly from Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Tesco with regard to one or two brief formalities that must be undertaken before the transfer of funds to you.

Incidentally, my private secretary Ms Tushie Meshuganah, is a deeply religious woman and wonders whether your church is is need of any religious articles - hymn books, hassocks, furniture etc. If so, let me know and I will pass on your reply to her when she returns from her visit to her parents in Zambia next week.

Yours sincerely,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC

REV. CHRIS UCHE

CC: Princess Margaret Subject: From Rev. Chris Uche (Please confirm receipt) Date: Mon, 16 Jan 2006

Dear Sir Charles Farnes Barnes VC

Thanks for your mail of today. As a follow up to my earlier mail, I have the following account for the payment of the money from Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Tesco. The account was provided by one of my Senior Elder in the church and an international businessman. As soon as you effect the payment into the account , you will have to send the transfer slip either by scan mail or by fax if you so prefer. . Below is the account information.

HSBC BANK USA
452 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK NY 10018-2706
SWIFT CODE: MRMDUS33
CREDIT TO : FINANCIAL BANK
SWIFT CODE: FIBBBJBJ
A/C NO: 55139678
BENEFICIARY: EXPRESS CASH

I will forward the transfer slip to him for confirmation of the money which according to him may take few days which probably may depend on the method of transfer used . I want to assure that the money will get to me as soon as it is confirmed and I will move ahead to do the needful .

Please acknowledge receipt and do inform me when exactly I should expect the transfer. As for your secretary�s offer to help us in our Christian life we are really interested in receiving any form of Christian books such as bibles and hymn books, hassocks, furniture�s and other articles that will help our Christian life here.

On the final note, I pray that your strength be renewed for the blessings of God in your life and that of Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Tesco will never seize . While I wait to hear from Her Royal Highness .

Thanks and God Bless
Rev. Chris Uche

STANLEY MUSWELL-HILL

16 Jan

Dear Reverend Ouch,

Thank you for your prompt reply to Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes' e-mail of today's date.

As Sir Charles informed you, he is in Smegaroon until Thursday and Ms Tushie Meshuganah is also out of the office until later this week. No doubt they will write to you on their return.

However, I understand that Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Tesco, will shortly be in contact with you to make final arrangements - including a visit to see the cassava farm in Nigeria.

Yours truly,
Stanley Muswell-Hill
Deputy Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
London W1 FU2

REV. CHRIS UCHE

CC: Princess Margaret
Date: Mon, 16 Jan 2006

Dear Sir Charles Farnes Barnes VC Thanks for your mail of today. As a follow up to my earlier mail, I have the following account for the payment of the money from Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Tesco. The account was provided by one of my Senior Elder in the church and an international businessman. As soon as you effect the payment into the account , you will have to send the transfer slip either by scan mail or by fax if you so prefer. . Below is the account information.

HSBC BANK USA
452 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK NY 10018-2706
SWIFT CODE: MRMDUS33
CREDIT TO : FINANCIAL BANK
SWIFT CODE: FIBBBJBJ
A/C NO: 55139678
BENEFICIARY: EXPRESS CASH

I will forward the transfer slip to him for confirmation of the money which according to him may take few days which probably may depend on the method of transfer used . I want to assure that the money will get to me as soon as it is confirmed and I will move ahead to do the needful .

Please acknowledge receipt and do inform me when exactly I should expect the transfer. As for your secretary's offer to help us in our Christian life we are really interested in receiving any form of Christian books such as bibles and hymn books, hassocks, furniture's and other articles that will help our Christian life here.

On the final note, I pray that your strength be renewed for the blessings of God in your life and that of Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Tesco will never seize . While I wait to hear from Her Royal Highness .

Thanks and God Bless Rev. Chris Uche

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Date: Mon, 16 Jan 2006

Attn: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Tesco.

How are you today and Her majesty the Queen . My Calvary greetings to you and the entire palace . I don't have much to tell you but to inform you that I have forwarded an account to Mr. Charles Barnes Farnes VC .

The account was given to me by one of my church elder and he is an international business man. Mr Charles Barnes Farnes VC has written that he will be away for few days on international conference but the transfer will have to wait until he comes back .

This is ok by me your Highness , I will wait until he comes back.Your Highness, I am praying for you everyday because what you are about to do in my life and to the life of all those who will benefit from this project will go down memory lane forever. I have been telling God to continue to bless you and give you more healthy years as you continue to propagate the gospel of charity .

Please always keep in touch with me until Sir Charles Barnes Farnes VC resumes. I will always like to read your mails .

Yours Faithfully
Rev. Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

16 Jan

Dear Mr Ouch

You may rest assure now that Dr Farnes Barnes has your affairs in his sights. He is an honourable gentleman who will see that your just reward is meted out, and in short order too. Last year he assisted on a delicate negotiations concerning some South American dilithium crystal mines investments we hold for the royal family here. It was, to our relief, handled very well and so I am sure our faith is well placed again.

Please keep me informed as the progress of this business as I am eager to see what happens.

God help you,
Kindest regards
MARGARET

Charles: I look forward to seeing Reverend Ouch's oath of allegiance to the Grand Duchy of Tesco...

Margaret: Should Mr Barrymore be involved at this stage? I know that the office at Gooliepully NSW is very quiet at the moment.

Charles: Perhaps Your Highness would like to take up Reverend Ouch's invitation to visit him in Nigeria ? After all, it gets a wee bit chilly in Great Tesco at this time of year. As to the oath, I still believe Mr Barrymore would be a suitable person to oversee the proceedings - or how about Lord Jeffrey Archer who knows a thing or two about oaths...

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Subject: From. Rev Chris Uche (Still waiting for your Response to my mail)

Date: Wed, 18 Jan 2006

Attn:Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Tesco.

I thank you so much for your mail.How are you today and the Royal Family.Her Royal Princess,I don't know how to place this matter before you but i feel i should be comfortable enough to detail my mind to you concerning this project and my country Nigeria. As you may well know,Nigeria is one of the corrupt countries of the World and i happen to come from this part of the country where people play schemes and all sorts of things to get money.It will interest me if you understand that i did not come to you to play any scam in order to get money.I did not present my case in order to siphon money from you,honestly,from the depth of my heart,i bleed for the kind of judgement people outside the World give Nigeria.
I want to say that my interest in this project is for the good of the poor and the jobless,I don't want to spoil my relationship with you,an enduring and sincere relationship is to me more than the whole riches of the world brought together.It becomes imperative to highlight these things because i don't want you to fail me at the end. I have built so much hope and confidence in you to build this project and does not want you to see me as one of those Nigerians who write bogus letters to get money from foreigners. I came to you from a sincere and Christian Manner with an intention for good and to keep and maintain a lasting relationship with Her Royal Princess.I will not be bothered at the end if no money is giving to me but if this relationship remains afloat,it will be of great value to me.
Therefore,I suggest in the interim that instead of paying the money into a Bank Account as given,you may send somebody with the cash to meet me in Nigeria for the preliminary works on the project. But if you keep your trust,We can proceed.
The Person will be able to see that work has started and confirm to you the seriousness in the whole issue.Honestly,Her Royal Princess, I am disturbed because i know you may have had Nigeria experience and which i fear may not give you enough confidence.If you recall,i did not ask for the money but rather i am interested in the project and i pray that Nothing will confuse you until you see it through.
I am looking forward to your earliest response.
Thanks
Rev. Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

Dear Reverend Ouch

After a few days consideration (and some internal debate I might add) I have decided that I am greatly reassured by this latest message. It seems to ring of your honesty and sweet business intelligence, and we are pleased to take advantage of this gift.

We feel the best person to come down and sort out such matters is our financial chappie Dr Farnes Barnes himself who, as it happens, may have a few days holiday soon in your part of the world. He makes it habit to tour such troubled areas, distributing pens and sweets to local children and whatnot. I take the liberty of copying him in so that he may begin his travel plans should matters prove acceptable. Of course you may have to make some interim arrangements, looking at a clean hotel reservation and meeting him at the airport and so on, but I am sure you will not mind given how important this all is.

Kindest regards
MARGARET

PRINCESS MARGARET

Dear Mr Ouch

You may rest assure now that Dr Farnes Barnes has your affairs in his sights. He is an honourable gentleman who will see that your just reward is meted out, and in short order too. Last year he assisted on a delicate negotiations concerning some South American dilithium crystal mines investments we hold for the royal family here. It was, to our relief, handled very well and so I am sure our faith is well placed again.

Please keep me informed as the progress of this business as I am eager to see what happens.

God help you,
Kindest regards
MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC

PRINCESS MARGARET

21 Jan

Dear Rev Ouch

Since my last message, we have come to a firm decision now to imemdiately take this whole business to the next level. The poor and the disadvantaged, after all, cannot wait. Palace protocol dictates that you will have to sign the Oath of Temporary Allegience to the throne in lieu of any irregular business connectiion, just a bit of paper but something that we are quite strict upon here as a formality, I am afraid. To this end, I have asked the Commonwealth Commissioner of Oaths, Sir Michael Barrymore, to issue the necessary paperwork.

Please confirm that you are happy to follow this procedure by way of reassurance of your intentions, and it will soon get you what you deserve.

Kind regards
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC,

SIR CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

21 January 2006

Dear Reverend Ouch,

Further to my last e-mail to you, Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco, has instructed me to transfer fifty thousand golden dorks to your account.

However, this is contigent on your signing the temporary oath of allegiance that I understandf has been sent to you by the Princess's legal advisors.

Once this oath is received I will be able to send you the dorks without any further delay,

Remain blessed,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes
Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC

REV. CHRIS UCHE

CC: Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes
Subject: Rev.Chris Uche.(Thanks so much for your trust.)

Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2006

Attn;Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco

I want to expressely say thank you for responding to my mail. I must confess that i was already pondering what went wrong but relief came to me this morning when i saw your mails with such great re-assuring promises enough to take one to heaven before he dies.In my life,i believe that only the truth abides forever.Any lie you tell brings about a leakage from your power base in the spiritual world.

However,it takes years of dedicated,unmurmuring and cheerful fishing of men before the houses,money,cars,good food and clothes start coming,this has been the experience of all genuinely wealthy men of God i know of.Contentment are the keys ministerial prosperity.I must say once again that i am genuinely out to do business with you in truth and in spirit.Your desire and good intentions for what i project for the less priviledged in my society shall be accomplished with time much as we have agreed to work together.I don't have any moral justification to deceive or play to the contrary when i know the integrity and dignity of the Royal Family .

It is only a fool who will relegate these royal opportunities. According to your mails.I ,agree to all your proposals and will work according to the dictates of the rules governing us.I will sign the Oath of Allegiance and forward my photograph as directed in a few days.

Meanwhile,it is clear to me that i am accepted and i promise to deliver the desired goals.I will write Charles Barnes for a change of bank Account because i wouldn't like to use the former Account given to him earlier.

Thanks so much for your trust.

Rev.Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

23 Jan

Dear Rev Ouch

We are delighted that you take our rather arcane protocols so sportingly. We shall of course be delighted to receive and examine the Oath when duly processed by Mr Barrymore's office. I am sure that, with Farnes Barnes, you are in excellent hands and I look forward to knowing that you get what you so obviously are crying out for.

In the meantime, as a gesture of good will, if there is anything by way of a little present we can send on either to you or your flock do let us know. I know that Cack & Chavsters, the royal outfitters do a nice line in cassocks or tartan prebendary wear for the discriminating prelate.

Kindest regards Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC

MICHAEL MONTAGUE BARRYMORE

21 Jan

Dear Mr Uche

OATH OF TEMPORARY ALLEGIENCE # 1SA-CNT E.R. (Elizabeth II Regis)

WHEREAS PRINCESS MARGARET has asked that I invest you with the Oath of Temporary Allegience to the House of Windsor, this is hereby done. I understand in respect of some pending commercial considerations a reply is required urgently.

Please note that the Oath, sent to yourself at this address as advised is a discreet formality and is NOT transferrable either to kin or tribe.

The Oath should be read out loud, printed out, and signed along with a witness (of no relation). Together with the signed document, scanned and returned to us, there should be in accompanyment a 300 dpi photograph of yourself, right hand raised. To confirm this is your image, please display prominently in the image the relevant Oath code 1SA-CNT ER

OATH OF FORMAL ALLEGIENCE TO THE HOUSE OF WINDSOR

"I _____________________ of _______________________ County State of ___________________ do hereby solemnly swear that I will bear true allegience to the House of Windsor in full quims, and support and sustain the Right Royal Business thereof; that I will maintain utmost discretion in fey vimtos paramount to all; that as total git I will discourage, discountenance, all breaking of this merkin troth, pledge my honor, to the sacred performance of this, my solemn Oath of Allegience to the Royal Highnesses thereto. De Paquet Cheerios in flagrente delecto. Pro vom poppadom rexus quasi.

signed ..............................................
witnessed ..............................................
date ..............................................

OATH issued 20.1.2006 # 1SA-CNT E.R

This Oath is issued by my office, as per commercial protocol and in lieu of a face to face appearance which, due to urgency and geographical distance, would otherwise prove impossible. Normally more documentation would be required but Her Majesty has graciously waived this element of protocol in this instance.

If you have any questions, please contact either myself at once or speak to a trusted legal representative.

I am sir,

Your humble servant
Michael Barrymore AASA, DFC,
HER MAJESTYS COMMONWEALTH COMMISSIONER OF OATHS
2645 Gooliepully Road
Stringalonga, TOCUMWAL,NSW,2714
Phone: (02) 9298 3777
Fax: (02) 9298 3780

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Date: Tue, 24 Jan 2006
Received: from [82.128.2.55] (Multilinks Telecommunications Limited, Victoria Island, Lagos) Attn:Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco,

Thanks for your continued desire for assistance but i have one disturbing issue which i need your urgent clearification . The issue is that i tried to contact Sir Micheal Barrymore on the Phone numbers: 02-929833777 and his fax line: 02-92983780 which he sent to me through his email, I tried to dial from my country as we use to connect international calls 009442929833777 but the phone is not connecting as phone subscribers are saying that the numbers are not correct. Honestly i become confused and worried.

Your Highness, Please explain to me as this is a disturbing issue since we are open to ourselves except that telephone conversations are not necessary in this relationship. This is just my worry .

Thanks and God Bless
Rev. Chris Uche

PRINCESS MARGARET

Dear Rev Ouch

This is quite amazing to hear as I spoke to him about another matter only yesterday. I shall check on this immediately and perhaps there might be another number he can supply if your own exchange is proving inadequate, through all the bombings at what not.

How is the progress on the Oath coming along my dear chap? We don't want to miss the boat on this one after all.

MARGARET

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Date: Tue, 24 Jan 2006

Attn: Sir Charles Barnes Farnes VC

As a follow up to our project , I have already taken the photograph as directed , it will be ready later today for me to forward to Mr. Barrymore on or before 10am tomorrow morning .

Sir , Charles I appreciate everything and it is my assurance from the soul that I will not disappoint or betray the confidence reposed in me by your good selves. It is my sincere belief that we are charting a new course towards actualizing the objective .

Like I said in the mail I sent to Her Highness yesterday which I copied you also , as soon as you are ready to remit the money to me as promised by Her Royal Highness, please let me know so that I will give you a new bank account . I will not use the other account for obvious reasons .

Keep me posted as soon as you confirm receipt of my photograph and the oath of Allegiance .

Thanks and God Bless

Rev. Chris Uche

SIR CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

24 January

Dear Reverend Ouch

Thank you for your e-mail.

Once Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret receives your Oath she will instruct me to complete the transfer of funds.

By all means send me details of the new bank account into which you want the cash although I don't quite understand what was wrong with the previous account which you say cannot be used "for obvious reasons".

As mentioned in our previous correspondence, my personal assistant Ms Tushie Meshuganah is a committed Christian and is e-mailing you about sending some requisites for your church.

Yours sincerely,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes
Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH

Dear Revered Uche

My employer, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes, has sent me copies of your correspondence. I belong to a Pentecostal congregation - the Holy Beigel Community - here in London which has many African members. Our leader, Bishop Marmite Bovril, sends his fraternal greetings to you.

To which denomination do you belong ?

We would be pleased to contribute hymn books, hassocks, robes etc if you are in need of these requisites.

Remain blessed,
Tushie Meshuganah

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Attn: Sir Charles� Barnes Farnes� VC

� As a follow up to our project , I have already taken the photograph as directed , it will be ready later today for me to forward to Mr. Barrymore on or before 10am tomorrow morning .

� Sir , Charles I appreciate everything and it is my assurance from the soul that I will not disappoint or betray the confidence reposed in me by your good selves. �It is my sincere belief that we are charting a new course towards actualizing the objective .

� �Like I �said in� the mail I sent to Her Highness yesterday which I copied you also , as soon as you are ready to remit the money to me as promised by Her Royal �Highness, please let me know so that I will give you a new bank account . I will not use the other account for obvious �reasons .

� Keep me posted as soon as you confirm receipt of my photograph and the oath of Allegiance .

� Thanks and God Bless
� Rev. Chris Uche

REV. CHRIS UCHE

Attn: Sir Michael Barrymore,

Here is my picture and the signed copy of the oath of Allegience. I hope this satisfies our curiosity. Inform Her Royal Highness accordingly .

Thanks and God Bless

Rev. Chris Uche