LIBERTÉ, EGALITÉ, SCAMOSITÉThis is the continuation of the brilliant LePAGE SABASTINE correspondence.Some time has passed since M. LePage last made a fool of M. Sabastine. Famille LePage have in fact wasted his/their time for three months. If Sabastine worked for a real estate firm he would be out on the street by now. For the full work-up, see the original page. But if you know the story and want the sweet ending, just read on. Sabastine Objet : Re: Dear Francois Meanwhile tell me
your plans towards this transaction,since you have confirmed Just get back to me as soon as possible. Thanks and God bless
you for understanding. Barrister Williams Objet : AFRICAN OR EUROPEAN SWALLOW. Date : Mon, 25 Aug 2003 Received: from [213.181.81.142] ATTN: MR. LEPAGE DEAR SIR, HERE IS THE NEW BANK ACCOUNT YOU REQUESTED: BANK NAME: DBS BANK,
SINGAPORE SEND THE PAYMENT
SLIP AS ATTACHMENT IMMEDIATELY YOU
MR. RICHARD WILLIAMS. Adele (Mme. Lepage) Dear Mr. Sabastine, Sorry for this late reply but I had an extensive check-up at the hospital with plenty of X-Rays, blood tests etc. I was discharged and I'm quite well now but my nose still big and red. I was told Lepage was terribly drunk at a party at Miguel's last week-end. He tried to barbecue sardines at 3 AM while alone in Miguel's garden and almost set fire to the trees, the house and the rest. I don't know what he has exactly. I'll have him seen by a shrink when back in Paris. We'll leave Spain today for Paris and we are packing. Well, *I* am packing. Lepage is in the swimming pool again pretending he's Flipper-Dolphin and trying and catch imaginary herrings with his teeth or asking me to throw him some. Worrying, isn't it? About our transaction, I understand fully your point of view. I will rethink about all that and write you more next Thursday when in my office in Paris. Best regards Pr F. Lepage My Dear Sabastine, Sorry for my last mail. I was really leprechauned. It was all Miguel's fault. We have eaten a "Dumb Lad" (Cretinoscamus mirabilis). It's an African fish you must know. Miguel forgot to remove the liver, which is toxic. The venom it contains strongly potentiates alcohol and makes you tipsy-donky-honk-honk after one glass of wine only. Sorry about that again. Mr Williams SAN sent me another bank account. Now I have four of them and I am a bit lost. Which one should I use? Should I toss a coin? Look : 1) NAME:I .I ODURUKWE 2)BANK NAME: UBS-NEWYORK
3) BANK NAME:CAIXA
CATALUNYA and the last: 4)BANK NAME: DBS
BANK, SINGAPORE How come that I got four different bank accounts for a serious transaction like ours? Why have you got a bank account in Singapore? No way to get one in Nigeria? Even for a Senior Executive Officer like you? Puzzled I am once again. Thank you for your
reply Adele (Mme. Lepage) Dear Mr. Sabastine, We are back in Paris now. Lepage looks better but please don't reply any email he could send you. Anyway, I'll be aware of any money transfer Lepage could try (automatic email from the bank) and I'll tell the bank manager not to proceed. I know there are many differences between Nigeria and France. For example, I'm sure you don't eat toasted snail open sandwiches or roasted frog breast black puddings with garlic and spam albeit they are delicious, especially when I cook them myself. Yes, I think I'm a Cordon Bleu, a Chief in French cuisine. But it's just a hobby. Between you and me I would have preferred to run a restaurant instead of being a Senior Accountant. That's life anyway. Probably in Nigeria you don't think a woman is able to run big business. I'm sure you think instead a woman isn't even able to conclude our transaction. Excuse me but you're wrong. You're totally wrong. If only you knew the amount of money I'm dealing with everyday! There is something between you and me. Frankly, be honest: am I too old for you? I'm thinking about starting a new life far away from that stupid Lepage before he kills me for good, and why not in Africa? Especially with lot of money? My request of a picture of you holding a paper with SC AMORAMA NIGERIA LTD on it is NOT a child's play, as you wrote. It's the simplest way I see to trust you for good before wiring the money to Barrister Williams. I know this money is not for you but for Mr. Williams' fees. So please, send me that picture of you with the paper so that we can go further, and why not meet in Nigeria. Kind regards Sabastine Objet : i happy with
your kind of person Helllo Madam, Sabastine De : martins_saba@netzero.com
Dear Prof. Francois
Lepage, Adele (Mme. Lepage) [to Sabastine's new email address] Sat
30 Aug 2003 My Dear Sabastine, Frankly, I don't
understand your position. Maybe was I not clear enough? You sent your last email to his old email address, not to the new one, and you knew I've got the password for the old address! Now I have your new email address and anyway Lepage doesn't use his old email account anymore. You had no chance to reach him at his old address and you knew it. Was it a mistake? Was it a test? If yes, here is the result: positive, well done. It's a pity you still point blank refuse to send a photo of you holding a paper with SC AMORAMA NIGERIA LTD on it. I don't understand why. It would take one minute with a digital camera. I don't ask you to "snap a picture of your shoulder" as you wrote. I don't want to see your shoulder but your face. Alternatively, as you suggested, I'm ready to come down in Nigeria and to see you in "real life". It would be probably the best solution but it would take some more time because I'd have to arrange for my travel. If you send the photo, the whole transaction should be done in few day times. Let me know what you think. I'm not kidding, I'm still ready to help, but I cannot wire Mr. Williams' significant fees without a little more evidence. I'm sure you understand. Kind regards Pr F. Lepage [to his old email address in case he still checks it.] Sat
30 Aug 2003 Why did you not answer my last email? I hope you are in good health. If you have heath problem please tell me, I will be happy to advise you about natural and cheap medicine extracted from African fish. Well, I told you I have now 4 different bank accounts to wire the money to. Which one is the right one? I do not want to have another load of money bouncing around like Mexican jumping beanfish: [copy of the 4 bank accounts here] Best regards Sabastine Re: Got my last mail?
Dear Lepage, Pr F. Lepage Subject : Please wait until September 4 Dear Sabastine, OK bank account well noted and all that all right. I have to leave Paris tomorrow for a couple of three days. Could you wait until September 4 for me to wire the money? And the September 4 is an anniversary for me. Not my birthday but I will let you know about that happy occasion. Very happy, you will see/saw/seen. Surprise! All the beast Sabastine Objet : WHY ALL THESE QUESTIONS Date : Tue, 2 Sep 2003 madam, madam,you want i
will send an account where you pay in the money. [It was ALL CAPS. I cannot stand that any more. Message converted in lower case. For your eyes. And mine. If you are a Word user, here is the trick: select the whole block and press shift-F3 twice. Haaaaa. Much better.]. Adele (Mme. Lepage) Tue, 2 Sep 2003 Dear Mr. Sabastine, Thank for your mail. I don't understand why you are so angry. Remember I wrote you I had all your email exchanges with Lepage from the very start. I never tried to hide that from you. I always was honest with you. Also I don't understand why a Senior Executive like you doesn't keep a record of any correspondence about our transaction. As a Senior Accountant, I do keep such record: July 14, 2003: Lepage emailed you a headed paper with the full address of our association for orphans, telephone, etc. This same day Lepage also emailed you our fax number. And still almost two months later you say you did not get this information? I can't believe you have lost these major documents. Therefore you are challenging me. Why? Additionally, you wrote: "this conditions you are giving to me is not possible for me unless you want to expose me to the government". I write again: YOU CAN TRUST ME :-O. How loud should I cry? If I was not to be trusted, I would have already sent all information I have about you to your government. I want that money. Please understand me. With tears in my eyes I tell you I want that money, I need that money. I want to forget that fool of Lepage and have a new life far far away from him with a true gentleman. I know I have already written that many times but I require this photo of you with a paper reading SC AMORAMA NIGERIA LTD as the last and final proof. If you don't send that photo, that only means: 1) You do not trust me and if so, why do you want to be my partner in this transaction or 2) There is something wrong with the transaction and the money doesn't exist, but I cannot believe that with all the documents you already sent. Thus yes, please and please again, like you I want to see the success of this transaction as soon as possible. Send me the photo with the bank details and the money will be wired asap to Mr. Williams. Best regards Pr F. Lepage [I really am getting bored with our Lad, and now, as intended, the surprise (not for you Scamoramis!] Objet : THE END 4 Sep 03 Subject: Surprise! My Dear Scambastine Here is THE Anniversary, THE Surprise! Today September 4, 2003, I have wasted your time and money for exactly 2 months. I have scammed you. Champagne! Honest, I will miss you, my dear pet-fish. You are so gullible, so stupid. You have swallowed the whole story from the very start. However, I have warned you many times: EAT FISH, FISH IS BRAIN FOOD So take a deep breath, relax, seat back, don't panic, take your time, eat a fish, read carefully, read twice, read and read again. Here is the sad reality: - There are no rich
Pr Lepage, Adele Lepage, castle, holydays in Spain and all that stuff.
You are a liar. A filthy liar. You are so low minded that you even tried to rob charity money while pretending you feared God. Don't tell me you did that because you were starving. You explanations about third world made me sick. You are one of those bloody criminals who make your world the third. You've got enough money to fax me your fake documents from "Williams" (yourself of course) to an expensive number in the USA and to spend hours in a couple of Internet cafe writing them and emailing me. Probably you've got a job: almost all your emails were sent between 1 and 2 PM your local time. Lunch break? Of course, all information I've got about you have been transmitted to the Nigeria Police and the FBI. I have given them the IP addresses of your Internet cafes (an IP address identifies a computer and only one. Theses IPs were written in your email in a hidden form called "header ". Did you know that before trying to scam people by email? No? Sincere, eat more fish). I have also given the Nigeria Police and the FBI your telephone number, all your bank details and all information I have got about you (not your photos of course, they were obviously fake). Don't be anxious: you can email the Nigeria Police at fpro@nigeriapolice.org or 419@nigeriapolice.org just to be sure they have got my email and in case you want to add some information about you. Additionally, our whole email exchange has been published on an Internet site and many people are laughing at you every day. You're such incredible that some readers must believe the whole story is a fiction, but no. It was just a kind of joint writing between you and me. Chin up, Sabastine Martins or whatever your name! You're famous worldwide now! My last medical advice: I'm afraid it's too late to eat fish : the state of your brain is beyond all hope but maybe you still have some muscles left (m-u-s-c-l-e-s, not m-u-s-s-e-l-s, got it ?). Try pasta instead. They are full of slow sugars and it's a good idea to eat them before running very fast, very far. Run, Mugu, run and don't forget to get lost. Your scamalicious
friend for ever, a.k.a. Adele and/or Francois Lepage [But surprise surprise. I got a reply! Sabastine's motto : No surrender!] Sabastine mr big fish Adele (Mme. Lepage) 08 Sept 03 Subject : Please give me news Dear Mr. Sabastine No new from you since a long time. I hope you are OK. Sorry for my own long silence but I have been very busy. Lepage was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. He has been to the National Aquarium holding a big sign reading FREE THE FISH NOW! and a sledge hammer and tried to break the glass pane of a huge tank full of sharks. Fortunately the security stopped him before he could do any serious damage. The psychiatrist at the hospital said he must have used some narcotic substance he had extracted from the brain of the Dumb Lad fish. The doctor said also it was a pity Lepage was so ill now because he must very skilled to extract such an amount of the substance from a very tiny brain. Anyway, I'm relieved and I can sleep without fearing he could kill me. Obviously you don't
want to send me the photo. Well, I suppose it would pointless to insist.
Best regards Sabastine De : martins_saba@netzero.com
MADAM, MARTINS SABA. Adele (Mme. Lepage) 11/09/03 Thank you for your mail. My fax number is 17024420326 (it is a number in the USA. It allows me to get faxes by email). As far as my private telephone number I don’t want to send it over the Internet for security reasons. I have got your own telephone number and will ring you if needed. In the meanwhile we can keep communicating via email and fax. I don’t think
it will be hard to get a visa to Nigeria but in case of problem could
you help me? Could you arrange for a good hotel in Lagos? I will be on my own and I don’t want to be bothered by nasty men or women. Will your son be there next week? Best regards Sabastine De : martins_saba@netzero.com
Dear Adele Lepage, Thanks for you mail.
I have just started making arrangement for your arrival to Martins Sabastine. [No more all caps, better spelling… How many Sabastines are they? Is it a family business?] [Remember : Lepage is not dead. He is just mad. Ah ah. Ah.] Pr
F. Lepage 13 Sep 03 My Dear Good Friend Sabastine for ever in a life and all that sorts of things, I'd ask you my friend Sabastine to come and see an octopus's garden with me. I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden in the shade with you. But currently ah ah I am just in the nurses office in the shade ah ah and they have forgotten to shut down the computer ah ah ah. And ah ah again. Do you want me to send you my special extract of the Dumb Lad fish? Ah ah. I do it a very special way. Just for you my friend Sabastine here is the recipe/receipt. Acknowledge receipt. 15M USD ONLY. Very funny pun, no punk, no future, he ha ha hi. 1. Carefully open
the skull of the Dumb Lad fish with your right thumb nail. Of course,
before proceeding you have sharpened your nail on an Irish granite stone
the usual way. (Note: you can use other granite but I have lot of friends
in Ireland and they told me that Irish granite is the most adequate stone
to sharp nails and to build body, brains and skulls as far as can-do attitude
and eternal friendship are involved. Hello folks in Donegal do not worry
I am just scamming a scammer. See you later in the pub). Ah ah oh, they are coming. The nurses! I can hear their horse shoes in the stairs. Specially the big one with the moustache and strong arms. See you soon. I have to stop. Do not forget to eat fish. More fish. Fish is brain food. HELP ME TO GET OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND TO KILL ADELE MY WIFE MINE AND YOU WILL GET LOT OF MONEY FOR THAT. Your friend for ever. Pr F. Lepage Adele (Mme. Lepage) 14 Sep 03 Subject : My flight to Nigeria Dear Mr. Sabastine, I wanted to arrange for my flight to Nigeria but the hospital telephoned. They said that Lepage went berserk when the nurses found him using a computer in their office. He managed to escape and to run upstairs until he reached the attic. He locked the door and put heavy furniture against it. He threatened to kill himself and/or to set fire at the hospital’s roof. After a full night of talks (myself, two psychiatrists, the fire department and the police), he agreed to open the door if and only if we thrown him smoked herring through the window using the firemen’s ladder. Very sad, is not it? The psychiatrist injected the herring through the plastic with a very powerful tasteless tranquilizer before the pack was thrown at Lepage. Half one hour later the Police could break the door and Lepage was sleeping on the floor. I’m very tired right now and I have to sleep. I will check on the Internet tomorrow to find the best flight from Paris to Nigeria but before please tell me if I should fly to Lagos or Abuja or another airport. Also, will your beautiful son be with you when we meet? Would he like some presents from France? Feel free to tell me. Best regards [At this point, I had to be abroad for one week and had no time to keep the game on. The Lad(s) are more and more worried about Adele’s silence] Sabastine De : martins_saba@netzero.com
Dear Adele, [Oh no! Good old “Barrister William” was sacked.] Sabastine De : martins_saba@netzero.com
Dear Madam, Sabastine De : martins_saba@netzero.com
Madam, [At last Adele meets her Prince Charmant…] Gar(b)elle (Sabastine’s son!) De : "garelle
_o_martins" <garelle_o_martins@elvis.com> My Dear Adele , Garbelle O Martins Adele (Mme. Lepage) My Dear Garbelle, Your mail came like surprise and I’m very moved. I thank and bless your father Mr Sabastine Martins for having given you my email address. Please tell you good father that I was very busy last week due to the illness of my husband, Pr F. Lepage, and could not reply to my emails. Probably your Dad told you that Lepage is now totally mad having injected himself an extract of Dumb Lad fish brain. I had to see the police many times last week because Lepage tried to put a paper fish on the back of a nurse. I don’t know if you know the French habit of the First of April or April’s Fool day. Normally on that day, you cut out a fish form from a paper and stick it discreetly using an adhesive tape on the back of somebody you want people to laugh at. Lepage did the same but used a screwdriver instead of an adhesive tape. Fortunately, the nurse was wearing the famous ArmouredBra size 120. The large strap securing the bra on her back deadened the shock and she just got a large bruise but she threatened to sue Lepage and/or me and asked for a $10 000 compensation. After a long talk, I’ve given her $3 000 in cash and she agreed to not sue me. Of course, all that let me very tired and I had no time to arrange for my flight to Nigeria. I could ask my secretary to do that but she would ask why I’ve to fly to Nigeria and thus I've to manage on my own. My dear Garbelle I’ll write more tomorrow but right now I have to sleep. I will see you in my dreams. But I’m so tired. PLEASE SEND ME MORE PHOTOS OF YOU. You’re looking so beautiful, so handsome, so cheerful that I want to see more of you. Now Lepage is gone (to be a certified mad is like to be dead under the French Law) I’m looking for a young man like you. With all the money I’ve already got with Lepage’s heritage and all the money I’ll get soon thanks your wonderful Father, we could spend years of happiness together. Sharing our feelings, sharing our bodies, sharing our lips, sharing our noses on a lonely island full of Sun, Sand and Moon. Ah Garbelle, if you’re not serious please don’t make me dream. Reply as soon as possible Your Adele nee BOW ["To be a certified mad is like to be dead under the French Law" : NOT!] See you later folks, I have to pack and fly to Nigeria (not!)
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