SINGAPORE 2, LADS 0

I have managed to extract a 500-naira note (about US$4) after a lengthy scam-bait.

It's long, and not rumbustiously humorous, hope it's your sort of thing. [but he got the money]

To back up on this I have several .jpgs...

It took 5 months for scam-baiter Kouba Deissman to win a lousy N500 (US$4) from Ade Williams of the Nigerian Tourism Development Corporation (NTDC). This is no way to make a living for either of us, but I think he will be more disappointed than I am.

This is my 'first blood' after a year and 20 scambaits.

This all began in March, when I decided to invent a new scam-baiter called Kouba Deissman Jr., whose actions and responses are determined by throws of a dice. Kouba, Cubes, Deissman, Dice Man, ha-ha, what?

Many people will have read a novel called "The Dice Man", written in the 1970s, which has become an astonishing success in various fields, and has its own Web site.

The book tells of a man who lets the throw of a dice determine all his actions in life. He controls the options, but he must always follow the dice. Thus one day, he might write down an option "3: Commit a murder" and if the two dice total 3, then he must go ahead and commit the murder (this happens in the book).

Kouba Deissman is the scam-baiting equivalent. I have bought the dice, and here are the options (total of 2 dice thrown)

2: Deissman is killed (odds 1 in 36)
3: Be unreasonably nice to scammer (odds 1 in 18)
4: Get involved in a brawl (and have the newspaper clipping to prove it) (odds 1 in 12)
5: Appear confused, and ask lots of moronic questions (odds 1 in 9)
6: Be didactic, tell him how to perfect his modalities (odds 5 in 36)
7: Play it normal (odds 1 in 6)
8: Go on a foreign junket with lots of drunken sex exploits (odds 5 in 36)
9: Be unreasonably nasty to scammer (odds 1 in 9)
10: Abuse Lad using Insultmonger (odds 1 in 12)
11: Send him a fax received from another scammer and demand to know what is going on (odds 1 in 18)
12: Admit you're gay and shyly proposition Lad.

I'm going to wait until the scam is off the ground before invoking the dice, so let her roll....


Cast of characters
ADE WILLIAMS
KOUBA DEISSMAN
MAZTOUR BEITA
BABATUNDE ALLI
"MONETARY AUTHORITY OF SINGAPORE"

ADE WILLIAMS

16 March 2003

Dear Friend,

Miss World Beauty Pageant.

I am Dr.Ade Williams, the commissioner of the Nigerian Tourism Development Corporation[NTDC] an affiliate of the Federal Ministry Of Culture and Tourism. In the year 2001 huge sum of money running into millions of United States Dollars was budgeted by my government for the successful hosting of the Miss world beauty pageant for the year 2002, which eventually was shifted to London owing to the religious unrest in Abuja, Nigeria where the contest was initially bill to take place.However,before the shift, Cross River State Nigeria hosted, the 92 beauty queen during the first stage of the competition. Miss Turkey was eventually crown the Winner in London. However in my capacity as the Commisioner of the Nigeria Tourism Development Corporation, and a member of both local ganizing committee (LOC),my colleagues and I in sensitive positions were able to influence the award of the contract,for the supply and installation of some of the equipment that where suppose to have been used for the contest. The contractor who handled these projects agreed to give us 10% of the total contract sum, if we were able to influence the award of the contract in their favour. Other foreign firms bided for this same contract, but we were able to influence the board to award the contract to the firm we had this agreement with.

This contract was successfully executed by the firm and they have been paid 90% of their total contract sum, remaining the balance of 10% which we never wanted them to collect on our behalf because of the fear that they might not fulfil their promise.It is pertinent to note that,the remaining balance of Eight-million,seven hundred thousand united states dollars(US$8,700,000.00)is lying in the suspense account of the First Chartered Bank Lagos, ready for transfer into an oversea account.

I have been unanimously mandated to seek for an honest and trustworthy foreign partner who will assist in ensuring the successful transfer of the above sum of money into his Personal/Company account since the Nigerian Code of conduct Bureau does not permit us to operate a foreign account as public servants. On the successful remittance of the fund (US$8,700,000.00)into your nominated account, for your kind assistance you will be adequately compensated.

Be rest assured that, the modalities and logistics towards the successful transfer of this fund have been worked out. All we require from you is your cooperation. This transaction is 100% risk free. We kindly request that you accord it the highest level of secrecy it deserves Your swift response will be highly appreciated and kindly provide your phone and fax number for further information.

------------------------------
Amount: $8.7m
My cut: Unspecified
Modality: Foreign Bank Transfer
Country: Nigeria

No dicing yet, until we get going
------------------------------

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear Dr Williams,

I may be able to assist you in this business if you can assure me of the highest levels of confidentiality and trust.

I have access to international banking facilities with high security.

Please furnish me with more details of this transaction.

Yours sincerely,

Kouba Deissman, Jr.

Kouba receives a bizarre message in reply

ADE WILLIAMS

WHAT IS YOUR PHONE NUMBER. -- "WILL NOT GIVEUP HALFWAY, WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT FAYE" The greatest Faye e-mail service. Provide e-mail, e-card, discussion forum and the latest entertainment news. Get your free email from http://www.wongfaye.com HOST BY M'SIA FAYENATIC CLUB Powered by Outblaze

It turns out he is using a bizarre free e-mail service dedicated to a canto-pop star called Wong Faye or Faye Wong or something. Well, we can't have that.....

KOUBA DEISSMAN

What is this nonsense below you wrote to me? I thought you were a serious business person with a serious transaction.

Deissman.

There is a two-day delay, during which time Kouba fears that some people have been meesing with Ade's mailbox, causing him to flee. But....

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
i can understand you, what i just asked in my previuos mail is your phone number nothing more do not misinterprete me as the down below is from the website. You know i attached so mush importance to this transaction and i need to talk with you, and discuss as we are not leaving in a close naighborhood.
Once again i need your fax/tel number company name for the documentation of the payment everything must be done as if actually you are the legitimate contractor, but between i and you we understand the negotiation. Iam a top civil servant and i need to folow accordingly without violation of any known law neither of the arbitraction law.
i like to talk with you, or you call me on my number 234 53 60 19 63.
or mobile:- 234 803 7190089.
i will be expecting your call.
Bello.

OK, this is the last non-dice response coming up, just to set the playing field straight.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear Dr Williams,

I am sorry to have been so abrupt in my last response, I thought it was another frivolous e-mail. Perhaps in future you could remove the Fong Waye fanmail text before you send e-mails?

Now, to business. First, I need to know who I am talking to. Your e-mail header says "Ade Williams", but your signature says "Bello". Could you clarify this for me? I don't want any misunderstandings later on.

Second, you are looking for help in transferring this money, but you do not offer me a fee for my services. You must understand that in the current geographico-political climate, large foreign bank transfers are not easy to conclude with security and confidentiality. I can assist with this.

If you can satisfy me on these matters, please reply accordingly, and then we can think about proceeding further.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman, Jr

That's it! It's all in the hands of the dice now.....

ADE WILLIAMS

Thanks again, i am Dr Williams my sec. is bello . i will talk to you if you can furnish me you tel# for more details.

William.

If it were up to me I'd give him a sharp reply to this. But it isn't. Drums...and he rolls...it's a....NINE. Be unreasonably nasty to scammer. The sharp reply is validated by chance

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dr Williams,

I can't get any straight answers out of you, can I? I merely asked you to set out clearly what are the details of this deal and you seem unable to do so.

You may call me on 6325-0011 but you should understand that the Singapore police listen in to all international calls and anything we say will be monitored. If you hear any suspicious voices, hang up.

And even after we talk on the phone, I want to see, by e-mail, a list of the proposals you have for this transaction. I am a busy man with no time to waste, I hope you can appreciate that.

And will you make sure to remove that idiotic "WILL NOT GIVEUP HALFWAY, WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT FAYE" text from your e-mail messages. It is extremely irritating.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman, Jr.

Not particularly nasty, perhaps, just a bit brusque. We might find out more after he's called the Singapore Police's Criminal Investigation Department, whose number I have given him.

There is a gap of a week, and then....

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
i received your mail and contents well understood. can you be precise on what you want and what percentage did you want for your assistance.
i tried to call you but to no avail, do you other alternative number?.
i will try again.
William.

Perfect. The dice will define what percentage Kouba's going after - should I define this beforehand? I suppose so. OK.
2: Nothing except a Nigerian wife, Kouba is lonely
3: A wife, and a $100K loan for his company
4: A wife and 5%
5: Flat fee $250K
6: $1 million fee, paid slowly. First payment immediately
7: 20%
8: 25%
9: 30%
10: 40%
11: 50%
12: 60%

Pity I'm not feeling more creative, still. Kouba rolls.....it's a 4. Wife and 5%. Kouba's going to have to be a gloomy old bastard then. Well, until the next roll of the dice, anyway.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear Dr Williams,

I am pleased to hear from you as I was beginning to think something had happened to you.

You ask what do I want from this transaction, and I can say, my friend, that I am not doing this principally for myself, you understand. You have asked for my help, and my help you shall receive.

My late wife Glenda always told me that the best way to live one's life is to serve others not to seek anything for oneself, and I believe what she said. Unfortunately, she was killed last year in a terrible accident on the East Coast Express Road from which there were no survivors and I do not have her wisdom to call on any more.

Now I am all alone and I would like to help, to send out messages of peace and trust around the world, without asking for anything for myself.

Perhaps you could spare 5% of the money for me? Not for me personally, of course, I do not spend much money, I have nothing to spend money on, but just for some funds to repair my house here and pay off my wife's funeral debts. Would that be all right?

Do you want to invest your money here after you receive it? There are many good investments to be made here, I assure you, and the government is always looking for foreign help. Perhaps we can work together on this after the business is completed.

Do you have a family? I am told that Nigerian women are very beautiful and loyal. Perhaps you know one who would like to come here and stay. I would like to converse with a lady of that kind. Perhaps that could be another condition of our business. Would that be all right?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Kouba Deissman, Jr.

What a sad git. Ade Williams seems to think so, too.

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
i received your mail with all joy, firstly sorry for this and accept my concerned in your wife death, as you asked i have a family, wife and three children.
As regarde yours do you have children, how old are you?.i will like to talk to you on phone, what is your phone number, my is 234 - 803 - 719 - 0098. is a mobile line and office is 234 - 52 - 601 - 963.
we can talk better on phone or what do you think. waiting to read from you.
Regards,
William.

Deissman has a leisurely weekend, but Ade is all action. But he's forgotten Kouba's wife.

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Kouba.
Once again l am honestly happy for your interest and pleaded your sincere transparent to give us our share as scheduled and we would also be happy the type of investment you may advice in your country. Originally we have it in mind to import medical equipment to our mother land.

As regarded the pre-arrangement of the payment we as a matter of expedience we require your full name, company name if any or you may suggest any name to be use i.e your name add international lnc. to register as a company that originally execute the project and apply legitimately for his balance payment. Your fax, phone (private) in addition to the email communication.

We want to use all this co-ordinate to register for your payment documention in various ministry and as soon as the document is out we shall send them to you by fax.

This is to meet up the formalities of the payment as we are top civil servant and we must do everything accordingly with the local law and one of the international arbitration we do not want anything that we jeopardize our future career in politics.

Having all this in mind we imploye your sense of maturity to handle this negotiation confidently with top secrecy and you must take me by my words as l will continue to reiterate that any expenses make by any partner we be deducted first as soon as you confirm the fund in your deisgnated bank account.

Thanks again as l look forward for your soonest reply.

My best personal regard.

Ade William

Sounds like he's using an automatic translator. But from what language? Deissman rolls....a 5. He needs to appear uncertain.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear William,

Thankyou for your mail.

I will see about setting up a bank account for transferring this money into. As you are to be the beneficiary of this account, I would like you to fax to me a copy of your identity papers or passport, so this can be lodged with the bank for validation. The banks here are very secure and trust wordy.

When do you plan to go into politics? There is an election coming up in Nigeria next month, I am told on the TV. Will you be standing as an MP in that election? If so, how can we complete the business before then? And which party will you be standing for, something to crack down on corruption, I hope.

As for medical equipment, I don't know much about it. I have a friend who makes psychoactive drugs, so if that is the kind of thing you mean, perhaps he can help you

My private fax number is xxxx-xxxx.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Kouba Deissman Jr.

And I do, at length. He forgets my name, too....

ADE WILLIAMS

DEAR

ONCE AGAIN,THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE TO MY BUSINESS PROPOSAL TO YOU. MY COLLEAGUES AND I ARE OVERJOYED BY YOUR RESPONSE AND WITH YOUR APPARENT UNDERSTANDING OF THE NEED FOR CONFIDENTIALITY IN ALL MATTERS RELATING TO THIS TRANSACTION, WE HAVE DECIDED TO MOVE FORWARD WITH YOU. PLEASE FIND THE DETAILS BELOW.

THE MONEY IN QUESTION (US$10.500,000.00) IS A RESULT OF AN OVER INVOICED CONTRACT PAYMENT WHICH THE ORIGINAL CONTRACTOR HAS BEEN PAID HIS TOTAL ENTITLEMENT LEAVING THE OVER INVOICED AMOUNT IN A CODED ACCOUNT WE BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS THE COMMISSIONER OF SPORT AND TOURISM AND BEING THAT WE ARE THE ONLY ONES AWARE OF EXISTENCE OF THE FUNDS, WE WANT TO ACQUIRE THE FUNDS FOR OURSELVES, TO DO THIS, IT BECOMES EXTREMELY NECESSARY FOR US TO OFFICIALIZE THE PROCESS OF FUNDS TRANSFER MAKING IT TAKE THE SEMBLANCE OF AN ACTUAL CONTRACT PAYMENT. THIS IS WHERE WE NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

THE CONTRACT WILL BE PERCEIVED TO HAVE BEEN EXECUTED BY YOUR COMPANY FOR THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF SPORT TOURISM (F.M.S.T.) WHICH IS THE FEDERAL STATUTORY CORPORATION FOR WHICH THE ORIGINAL CONTRACT WAS DONE, WHILE ITS VERY NATURE AS AN ORGANISED DEAL, REMAINS WITHIN OURSELVES (PARTNERS ONLY EXCLUSIVE KNOWLEDGE).

WHAT MUST BE DONE:
YOU ARE TO SEND TO US YOUR COMPANY NAME ,POSTAL ADDRESS, TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER TO ENABLE ME MAKE APPLICATION FOR THE FUNDS TRANSFER AND OTHER VALUABLE DOCUMENTATION TO THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE (F.M.F.) THROUGH FEDERAL MINISTRY OF SPORT AND TOURISM (F.M.S.T.) YOUR COMPANY SHALL BE INTRODUCED BY US AS THE BONA FIDE CONTRACTOR AT THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF SPORT AND TOURISM (F.M.S.T.)AS WHO EXECUTED THE CONTRACT . BASED ON THE HOMEWORK WE HAVE DONE, THE APPLICATION WILL BE APPROVED AND SENT TO THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE (F.M.F.) AND THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (C.B.N.) FOR THE FINAL APPROVAL, AFTER WHICH THE MONEY WOULD BE TRANSFERRED TO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT BY TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER OR SOLAR DRAFT FOR US ALL.

WE BEING CIVIL SERVANTS ARE VERY CONSCIOUS OF THE DICTATES OF LAW, THIS IS IN ORDER TO SAFE GUARD OUR POSITIONS AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND ALSO THE LEGAL INTERESTS OF YOUR COMPANY NOW AND IN THE FUTURE, FOR THIS WE WOULD MAKE SURE YOUR COMPANY IS REGISTERED WITH THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF SPORT AND TOURISM (F.M.S.T.) AS A CATEGORY B & C' CONTRACTORS BECAUSE ONLY A BONA FIDE REGISTERED COMPANY IS GRANTED CONTRACTS. PLEASE FILL THE CONTRACTORS REGISTRATION FORM PROPERLY AND SEND BY FAX DOWN TO US SO THAT WE CAN REGISTER YOUR COMPANY

ONCE THE APPROVAL OF THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE IS READY, THE FOREIGN CONTRACTOR AMENDMENT ACT OF 1995 PROVIDES THAT THE BENEFICIARY OF THE CONTRACT PAYMENT SHALL BE REQUIRED TO BE PRESENT IN NIGERIA TO ENDORSE THE CLASSIFIED TRANSFER DOCUMENTS AT THE INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE OFFICE OF THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (C.B.N.) OR ENDORSE THE CLASSIFIED TRANSFER DOCUMENTS IN ANY OFFSHORE OFFICE NORMINATED TO YOU.
ALTERNATIVELY, IF THE BENEFICIARY IS UNABLE TO COME TO NIGERIA OR GO OFFSHORE TO ENDORSE, HE IS LIABLE TO RETAIN THE SERVICES OF A LOCAL ATTORNEY WHO IS A REGISTERED CONSULTANT AT THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA, TO ENDORSE ON HIS BEHALF, PROVIDED THERE IS A PROPERLY EXECUTED POWER OF AUTHORITY TO THAT EFFECT. I WOULD ADVISE THAT IN YOUR RESPONSE YOU SHOULD INDICATE THE OPTION MOST SUITABLE TO YOU.

I WANT TO EMPHASIZE HERE THAT ALL EXPENSES INCURRED BY ALL PARTNERS IN PROCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION SHALL BE PAID BACK WHEN THE FUNDS ARE REMITTED. THE FUNDS SHALL BE SHARED IN THE RATIO 60% FOR US 30% FOR YOU AND THE REMAINING 10% FOR REFUNDING ALL EXPENSES INCURRED BY ALL PARTIES DURING THE COURSE OF THIS TRANSACTION.

AT THE END OF THE TRANSACTION TWO OF US SHALL ARRIVE THE COUNTRY OF YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT FOR THE PURPOSE OF SECURING OUR SHARE AND USING YOUR ASSISTANCE TO PURCHASE GOODS FOR IMPORTATION TO NIGERIA. WE INTENDED TO IMPORT AGRICULTURAL MACHINERY AND MEDICAL LABORATORY EQUIPMEMTS OR COMPUTERS AND ACCESSORIES.

As regard the lady you talk about I think that should be one element of trust to our relationship and it we also serve as an intermediary, when would you like to speak with her and if possible everything workout to your advantage would you like to visit her first or you will send a letter for her to visit you no more to say yet until I hear from you.

PLEASE IN YOUR NEXT MAIL FURNISH ME WITH YOUR PHONE NUMBER.

PLEASE YOU CALL ME IMMEDIATELY YOU HAVE READ MY EMAIL. I WAIT IN EARNEST ANTICIPATION OF YOUR RESPONSE.

BEST REGARDS,
ADE WILLIAM

An obvious cut 'n' paste, and not a very good one. The amount seems to have changed from $8.7m to $10.5m. Let's hope he's buying magazines to find a suitable wife for Deissman, who rolls a......7, ack! normal play.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear Ade William,

Thankyou for your mail where you say you would act between me as an intermediary between myself and a suitable lady. This shows a good element of trust between us which I hope we can build upon.

As to your investment, we are a center of computing here and this would be a very suitable business for you to invest in.

My phone number is 6325-0011 and my fax number xxxx-xxxx.

Regards

Kouba Deissman, Jr.

Who's driving this scam?

ADE WILLIAMS

DEAR friend.,
I HAVE NOT READ ANYTHING FROM FOR A WHILE I HOPE EVERYTHING IS OKAY?
PLEASE ENDEAVOR TO COMMUNICATE.
WILLIAM.

Nobody is in charge, it seems. Deissman rolls. It's an....8 - aha, a foreign trip with loads of drunken exploits. Much better. Let's give the secretary a role to play.

MAZTOUR BEITA

From: Maztour Beita
To: Ade Williams

Dear Mr William,

I am Maztour, secretary to Mr Kouba Deissman, with whom you have a business.

Mr Deissman is currently on a business trip to Thailand and Cambodia and asked me to respond to your kind mail.

Mr Deissman says that the bank account here is set up correctly with both him and yuorself having full access rights. He has opened the account with a $5,000 balance.

He asks that you supply, either by fax or e-mail attachment, a copy of your Identity Card or Passport details, so that you will be able to access your funds in person, and through the bank's telephone banking system.

Can you do this urgently? I would like to conclude this before Mr Deissman returns from Thailand, which I believe will be on Tuesday next week.

Your sincerely,

Maztour Beita
(for Kouba Deissman)

Nothing is heard for a few days

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Mr Williams,

I have returned from my business trip and my secretary tells me she has received no documents from you over the past week although you keep saying this is an urgent matter.

What is happening? Please endeavour to communicate.

Deissman

Are we settling gown for a long haul here, or will the dice decree otherwise?

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
i was also out of office too, but i would have communicate i only need to talk to you , i will send the photograph today.which one do you need my international passport or ordinary passport photograph.
How about the Lady issue i have got one and we need to talk can you call me in the office now, what is your time difference my is +2 GMT.MY OFFICE NUMBER IS 234 - 52 - 601963 AND MY MOBILE IS 234 - 803 719 0089.
OR IN ALTERNATIVE GIVE ME YOUR DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER TO ENABLE ME CALL YOU.
Await your good response urgent.
William.

That's a phone number from Benin City, some way east of Lagos Deissman, throws a.....5. More questions.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear Dr William

I am glad to hear from you and to know that you are well, my friend.

We are aware over here that it is election time in Nigeria and that these are volatile times among primitive people. When I did not hear from you I was concerned that perhaps some lunatics had attacked you with machetes and cut you to pieces, but I am glad to hear from you that this is not the case.

Are you standing in this election? Are you a democrat?

Your should send a photograph of whichever document you will bring to Singapore to validate your identity to the bank. If you want to present your domestic passport (is there such a thing?) that is all right, as long as it has a clear photograph.

You must understand that here in Singapore, the bank staff are mainly Chinese and so they think that all black men look alike, and it will not work if you provide an unclear photograph.

This will also be important as I shall need to clear a visa for you, so that you are not arrested at the airport. As you may know, Singapore is a small country, and is very afraid of outsiders. Of course, they think all Africans are riddled with AIDS or are criminals of one sort or another, so it is important for you to have a formal invitation before you come here. I can provide this through some contacts in the government.

And as the bank account is now open and active, you may send the money without any delay, so that you can come here and collect the money shortly.

I will contact you the moment the money has arrived.

My office phone number here is 65-6325-0011. A word of warning. Because of the terrorism and war fears here, the police may listen in on our calls, so you should be careful what you say and not mention words like embezzlement or fraud or anything of that nature. I am sure I can trust you to be discreet.

Your friend,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

I can't quite work in the whining, questioning tone. Must try harder.

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear friend,
Your mail is received. i will call you today. are you still interested in the lady issue, i have got one and she will like to speak with you.
Meanwhile arrangement is in top gear for us to conclude the transaction, but we need some documentation which will prove that you legitimately executed the project with the federal republic of nigeria.
what name do you want us to use for the document? or i just use your name straighy away no implication and no future risk as far as iam concerned.
i will talk to you later.
William.

Deissman throws a 6, which orders him to be formal and lecturing

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear William,

Thank you for your e-mail, my friend

We don't seem to be progressing very quickly with this matter, do we? I have done everything you asked but nothing seems to be happening from your end.

Let us forget about the woman until we have done our business. Cash first, jig-jig later, OK?

Here are my instructions, which will enable things to move smoothly.

1.) You may use my name on the contract documents, and that of my company, which is called Random Blocks Building Pte Ltd.

2) You should send a photocopy of your passport showing your photograph and particulars of your identity, to be used as bank validation and for your visa clearance.

Please do this as quickly as possible, as I would like to conclude things before it is necessary for me to take another business trip.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman.

It's pretty rough sledding for both sides. This dice stuff is quite restrictive

ADE WILLIAMS

call me on 234 - 803 -7190089.
William.

Sorry, I'm out

ADE WILLIAMS

From william confirm reciept immidiatly.

He has in fact sent a photo and another page from a passport



ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
i have sent the attachment from my clerk in the office.
pls give me your postal address if you have any to enable me include it in the document.this is to this to make everything look legitimate.
try call me on my mobile anytime.
234 803 xxxxxxx.
i will be waiting for you call.
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
I called and i got i different voice or is it you?
what is your direct line.or call me.
William.

Naturally, he is worried that I have taken his documents straight round to the police. Deissman throws a 7, ie no specific dice directive.

But why hasn't he asked for any money yet? Surely the scam must come soon....?

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear William,

How are you my friend?

I have received all your documents, thank you, and will tomorrow lodge them with the bank and the Immigration Department.

I will soon have details whereby you can access the bank account I have set up, and also there will be a Visa Application Form for you to complete as a formality for your visit to Singapore.

If you called the number I gave you and somebody else answered, you should be careful. As I warned before, with the current international tension, the Singapore police have stepped up their monitoring of telephone calls, particularly overseas calls.

We should only use the telephone for urgent communication, otherwise e-mail is much safer.

Please let me know when you will send the funds, we have been at this project too long already.

I will be taking a business trip to Indonesia later in the week, I hope we can conclude this business rapidly.

Your friend and partner,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

It has calmed him

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
As inferred in my previous mail as a matter of urgency give a postal adress and a fax number to send the documentation to you.
pls do it now as i will be leaving for Abuja latter today to complete the formality.
Await your ergen response.
William.
Ergen? Enron? No, no, no fraud here. But stay, there's more...

ADE WILLIAMS

TEL/FAX: 234 - 52 - xxxxxx.
MOBILE : 234 - 803 - xxx - xxxx.
DATE :14TH APRIL, 2003.

ATTN.: KOUBA DEISSMAN.

DEAR FRIEND,,

HOW ARE YOU ? AND HOPE EVERYTHING IS FINE WITH
YOU ? I AM
VERY HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE BEEN
ABLE TO REGISTER
YOU AS A CONTRACTOR OF THE NIGERIA LABOUR
CONGRESS. ATTACHED TO
THIS E-MAIL IS A REGISTRATION CERTIFICATE AND
ALSO THE RECEIPT
OF PAYMENT OF US$1,200.00 BEING PAYMENT FOR
YOUR REGISTRATION,
WHICH I WILL FAX TO YOU LATTER PLEASE CONFIRM A FAX
NUMBER SO THAT I
CAN FAX IT YOU. YOU WILL NOTE THAT THE DATES
HAVE BEEN
BACKDATED SO AS TO SUIT THE CONTRACT EXECUTION
PERIOD. THESE
DOCUMENTS, SHOULD BE KEPT PROPERLY FOR RECORD
PURPOSES, SHOULD THEY
BE REQUESTED FOR IT IN THE FUTURE.

MY GOOD FRIEND FOR YOU TO HAVE A BETTER
UNDERSTANDING IT MAY
INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT THE AIM OF THIS
PROCESS IS TO USE
YOU AS A FRONT IN RECEIVING THIS FUNDS AND WE
ARE MAKING
YOU THE BENEFICIARY TO A NON EXISTENT CONTRACT
ALREADY ARRANGED
BY MY PARTNERS AND WHAT HAS TO BE DONE IS
ONLY TO FILE
YOUR APPLICATION FOR PAYMENT FOR THIS CONTRACT,
WHICH WILL GO
THROUGH THE DIFFERENT APPROVING MINISTRY AND ON
FINAL APPROVAL,
THEN THE FUNDS WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO THE
BENEFICIARY OF THE
CONTRACTS DESIGNATED ACCOUNT, WHICH IS YOURS.

KOUBA, OUR INVOLVEMENT IN THIS PROCESS MUST BE
SILENT BECAUSE
WE ARE ALSO TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS WHO UNDER
NO CIRCUMSTANCE
SHOULD BE INVOLVE WITH THIS TRANSACTION, SO WE
WILL WORK
BEHIND THE SCENE TO ENSURE THAT EVERYTHING GOES
SMOOTHLY. SO WE
ONLY COUNT ON YOU TO DEAL WITH WHAT EVER
GOVERNMENTAL BODY
THAT MAY CONTACTS YOU BY OUR ASSISTANCE IN
PROVIDING WHAT EVER
INFORMATION OR DOCUMENT THEY MAY REQUEST FROM
YOU. YOU MAY
BE WORRIED AS REGARDS WHAT TO SAY TO THEM
WHEN THEY CONTACT
YOU BUT WE KNOWING THE WAY THINGS WORK HERE,
BECAUSE OF THE
LARGE SUM OF MONEY INVOLVED, WHENEVER THEY
CONTACT YOU, IT
MUST BE DOCUMENTED WHICH EQUALLY MEANS CONTACT
WILL BE BY FAX
AND THIS WILL PUT YOU IN A GOOD POSITION TO
GET THE
NECESSARY INFORMATION REQUESTED FROM ME BEFORE
RESPONDING BACK TO
THEM.

JNR, AS I WRITE YOU THIS E-MAIL, YOUR
APPLICATION IS BEEN
PROCESSED AT THE NIGERIA MINISTRY OF SPORT AND
TOURISM (CONTRACT
ORIGIN) AND DEFINITELY APPROVALS FOR PAYMENT
WILL BE GRANTED
LATTER TODAY BECAUSE WE HAVE MUCH CONTROL IN
THIS MINISTRY, BUT
WHEN YOUR PAYMENT CASEFILE, LEAVES THIS MINISTRY
FOR FURTHER
PROCESSING, THEN WE DO NOT HAVE MUCH CONTROL
[Scam-o-Side-Note: while of course nothing is going to be 'processed' at the Ministry of Sport, it is interesting to note that on occasion victims have been shown to government offices by scammers. Perhaps the officials had stepped out on errands.]

SO PLEASE BE
CAREFUL, SO YOU MUST GO BY OUR DIRECTIVES AT
ALL TIMES TO
ENSURE A SMOOTH PARTNERSHIP.

ALSO, WE WILL LIKE TO REASSURE YOU THAT WHAT
EVER EXPENSES
BOTH PARTIES MAY INCURE DURING THE COURSE OF
THIS TRANSACTION
INCLUDING TELEPHONE BILLS WILL BE REFUNDED BACK
FIRST FROM THE 5%
WE HAVE SET ASIDE TO SETTLE INDIVIDUAL EXPENSES
BEFORE SHARING
THE MONEY. WHY I AM STRESSING THIS IS THAT I
HAVE TAKEN SOME
SHORT TIME LOANS AND MORTGAGE SOME PERSONAL PROPERTIES
FOR THE
DOCUMENTATION AND LOBBIES IN OTHER DEPARTMENTS
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PAYMENT.
KOUBA, I HOPE THIS FAX HAS PUT YOU IN A MORE
COMFORTABLE
STATE AS REGARDS HOW WE INTEND TO CONCLUDE
THIS TRANSACTION
SUCCESSFULLY.

PLEASE CALL ME WHEN YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL. IF
YOU ARE NOT
CLEAR ABOUT ANYTHING.

BEST REGARDS,

ADE WILLIAM.

There are clearly several Ade Williamses running around, a few of whom like to write in CAPS THE WHOLE TIME. Two threes are six....didactic Deissman, hmm

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear William,

My friend, I understand you clearly and we have had a good communication for some weeks.

But I do not understand the LUNATIC WHO WRITES IN CAPITAL LETTERS.

Is this person you? If so, please restrain yourself. If it is someone entering our business please exit them. This must be a confidential and trust wordy deal only between you and me, no lunatics.

Everything is ready so I don't understand why you have again failed to send the money. Are you serious about this transaction?

My fax number is +65-6234-6711 and my address is 39 Kallang Babi Road #02-65 Singapore 912652.

Now if you please is the time to stop playing around and deliver your promises. I expect your urgent response as I have an important business trip to make and I cannot be waiting for you week after week.

Your partner and friend,

Kouba Deissman Jr,

I can't figure out why William is dithering. Doesn't he want his cash? Or perhaps the scanner's broken down again so he can't make the fake documents.

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
Thanks for your kind concerned in this negotiation,
but its the
procedures of the transfer its not that the fund is in
the bank there we must
complete all formality and the money will be release
athoritatively
with no future risk, so bear with me .
I will implore you buy a fax machine and plug it to
you phone number
and when you want to receive a fax you pick it up and
give the sender a
fax signal call me to put you through having fax is
very necessary for
the documentation.
we need to talk today call me on my office line or
mobile.
Regards,
William.

At any rate, Deissman throws a.....7, normal play. I think I'll go abroad again, see if we can stir him up

MAZTOUR BEITA

From: Maztour Beita
To: Ade Williams

Dear Mr William

I am Maztour, secretary to Mr Kouba Deissman, with whom you have a business.

Mr Deissman has taken the opportunity of this delay in your business to take a short trip to Vietnam and Cambodia and he will return by the end of the week to conclude your transaction.

He also asked me to reconfirm to you the fax number here which is xxxx-xxxx, and is available 24 hours a day. Do not forget to include the country code, which is 65.

Regards,

Maztour Beita (Miss)
(for Kouba Deissman Jr.)

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear William,

I apologize for not replying earlier. I have just returned after celebrating Easter, an important festival in my Christian religion where we acknowledge the death of our prophet.

However, that would not interest a fellow like you, so to business.

I have received 4 faxes, as follows:

1/ A certificate of Registration from the Nigerian Labour Congress.

2/ An Income Tax Clearance Certificate from the Federal Board of Inland Revenue

3/ A Contract Award from the Office of the Presidency

4/ A Clearance and Payment Approval Order from the Ministry of Finance.

Well, it looks as though you have been very busy.

Let me know what is the next step.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman Jr

William ignores the religious dig

ADE WILLIAMS

[no more attempts to convey the actual typing - his emails look like free verse]

Dear friend,
The payment are on progress and you will be contacted soonest as Iam making arrangement to sign the classify fund release order as soon as the e made the fund will be transfer expressly.
I still have to send you all the document as they may request for them .
I will try today.
I will get back to you shortly as tomorrow is the appointment betwenn me and the Government attorney.
I will get you posted accordingly.
William.
The scam is proceeding at funereal pace, and there is still the Incoming Funds Declaration to be considered. Are we looking at record length here? OK, I'm waiting....and for almost a week, too

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear friend Kouba,

It has not been an easy fit for all the arrangement to conclude cloriously interesingly we are concluding soonest.

I hve been able to introduce to a federal government attorney through my friend in the presidency who agreed to endorsed the classified fund release document at the C.B.N. you know at this stage my interest should not be shown to avoid suspicious so I am representing you as a local friend.

However the Lawyer agreed he will accept part payment and as soon as the fund hit your designated account shall remitt his balance payment, he also advised that because of the abnormally been perpetrated by American Government to Hijack every dollar transfer it would be necessary to obtain National Drug Law Enformcement Certificate of Fund Clearance (NDLEA) and International Guanrrantee Bond ( IGB) to secured the transferred from any hijack so that we can have a hinge free transaction.

My friend as you must have known I have spent much on this transaction I have took loans and mortgages some personal propeties just for the quick realization of our goal, I must reiterate that I am broke and we have to conlcude this payment now so am therefore imploy you most sincerely that we have about $26,000 for all what I have mentioned and I will like you to assist me financially based on what we have been negotiating and as soon as the fund hit your account the expenses will be deducted first before sharing.

However, I have call some friends and alot of promises but I cannot rely on that, I need to solicit your kind assistance to this regard on how much can afford me to conclude before 15th of May and desperately pleading for your honest assistance.

Thanking you for your unreserve effort and assitance in advance.

Yours Sincerely,
Ade William

That looks like a different Ade Williams, marginally more incoherent than the normal one. I have abandoned the dice play idea, it was becoming too dull. Can the real Kouba Deissman jazz things up at all? We are now six weeks into this transaction.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

28 Apr
Dear friend Ade William,

I was relieved to get your letter after such a long delay, I was concerned in case you had been murdered by lunatics in your society.

I understand about the problems you have getting clearance to transfer the money, this is an inevitable consequence of the global geopolitical situation, with terrorists, dictators, money laundrettes and fraudsters lurking everywhere.

Like in your country, here in Singapore, we have a new regulation called an Incoming Funds Declaration, whereby all money transfers from overseas over $10,000 will need to be accompanied by a completed form.

To ensure there is no delay in our project, I wish to fax you this form immediately, but I don't have your fax number.

When you have received the form, you must fill out all the questions carefully, and return the fax to me. That way we can proceed immediately.

With regard to the $26,000, it is very kind of you to offer to help, but I do not need any money right now, I have sufficient money here. You should keep that money with you to pay any additional costs that crop up, and you will need to buy a ticket to come here to Singapore as well. But, again, thank you for your offer, I really appreciate it.

I will be taking a short business trip to Thailand later this week, but my secretary Miss Maztour has returned from holiday and will be able to handle all the necessary transactions if I am not here.

I await your reply, and may God bless you.

Your friend,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

The 'Incoming Funds Declaration' is a two-page document I created in Open Office which asks a lot of stupid questions about money-laundering and what-not and whether the money sender has ever been a member of al-Qaida or the World Wildlife Fund. Very much like the U.S. entry visa form, in fact.

Nothing is heard from the Nigerian Miss World organizer for a few days, so Deissman tickles him up a bit

KOUBA DEISSMAN

30 April

Dear friend Dr William,

Did you receive my last mail?

I asked you, as a matter of urgency, to give me your fax number so I can send you the Incoming Funds Declaration.

You must do that now, until you do that we cannot proceed at all.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman Jr

MAZTOUR BEITA

03 May
Dear Mr William,

As you do not have a working fax machine, I am sending these Incoming Funds Apllication documents by e-mail attachment.

Please complete these immediately and fax back to me on xxxx-xxxx.

Maztour Beita (Miss)
(for Kouba Deissman Jr)

Dear on him, William thinks the form is real.......

ADE WILLIAMS

7 May
Dear Mr Kouba,
I will need some clarification and clearance as regards to nthe form sent by your Sec.as you know the money nwill be transfer from Central Bank here nto your Bank so I can that colum be filled and Iam not surpose to be a part as a civil servant this and more i need clarification and others. Are you Back?.
I want to read from you soon.
Regards,
William.

The two-month mark is approaching....

ADE WILLIAMS

09 May
Where is Mr Kouba, did you not convey my message to him accordingly, can you please give me his number or how to nreach him I need his attention very urgent.
await your reply.
William.

.....and Ade wants to proceed at a faster pace

ADE WILLIAMS

10 May
Dear Friend,
Its is terribly disappointing that inspite of the several mail fowarded to you I'm yet to received your response.I have taken serious step to see that we bring about an end to this delayed but hopefull transaction.More painfull and sad is the different dimension this transaction has presented, more painfull is we are living in a very far neighborhood.
Dearest Partner, Iam terribly confused on how to convince you about the importance and what i have expended for this negotiation. for us to achieve our mutual goal within e very shortest possible time, its of no importance too telling you that its crystal clear on my part if the transaction failed, I would be loosing apart from my personal properties mortgaged a lot of other valuables,Infact I shall be doomed.I must also reiterate to you that this is a good opportunity for us to be elliviated financially no matter the statue of our wealth.so we should not allow it to slip away or go down the drain.
Consequently,you will need to speed up action in closing this negotiation at your end as I have complete all formality at my end,and this could only be achieve by acting propmt and attend to issues as directed.
Your slowness is affecting the sucess of this transaction if you continue this way.

I will be glad if I can read from you soonest.

My best Personal regards,
William.

Ah! I've had an idea which explains the delay

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear Dr Williams,

I apologize for the delay in getting back to you.

As you know, I have been travelling in South-East Asia, to Thailand and cambodia.

Last week I fell ill with a fever and a cough in Thailand, and I have been disgnosed as having caught Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS).

As such, my fever went to 41 degrees and I was not allowed contact with anyone. I have now partly recovered but I am still weak, and I remain in Thailand.

I expect to be allowed to return to my office in Singapore on Tuesday or Wednesday, and I hope you can wait for me a couple of days to conclude this transaction.

But if this is not satisfactory for you, I am sorry as the hospital will not release me now due to my weak state.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

12 May
Dearest Friend,
I am very sorry to read that you are sick and the situation of your health, its serious, am very sorry and wishing you quick recovery.
I will definetly wait for you is only i was worry because we are behind schedule time for the payment, but I promise to wait whatevet it may be we have to work together as we have communicate for sometimes and we are getting used to each other.
However, always brief me the situation of your health and immediately you returned to the office, but endeavour to reply soonest.
My best wishes to you and i remain waiting untill i read from you.
Regards,
William.

Awwww, ain't he sweet?

ADE WILLIAMS

14 May

Dear Kouba,
How is your health now? I wish you get well very quickly as health is wealth.
Try and see if you can write me or instruct your sec to write.
My Regards to you.
William.

What a nice man. SARS is a good one, a fine delaying tactic.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

16 May

Dear William,

I am writing to you from the quarantine ward at Seletar open prison, where all the SARS cases are being held.

My health has improved, I am glad to say, although the old gentleman in the bed next to mine died last night after suffering a violent fit and fever and haemorrhaging blood all over the floor.

Of the 60 people in this ward, 19 have so far died, along with three of the nurses and one doctor.

So I will have to remain here for several days to see if I am cured or whether I will die too. But I have access to this computer and I can telephone instructions to my secretary Miss Maztour if necessary.

Have you faxed the Incoming Funds Application back to her yet? I would really like to get this business concluded as soon as possible.

I apologize for the delay in writing to you.

Kouba Deissman.

The scam is being held up by Kouba Deissman contracting SARS, but more importantly by Ade Willaim Ade's inability to fill out forms.

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
You will not die.I need some clarification as regards to the form but your illness is causing some dangerous thing, I need to find out how to fill the form as my name surpose not to appear in the form and the fund is going to be transfer from the escrow account of Central Bank Of Nigeria as a release payment for the contractual ballance which we are making you the bonafide beficiary.
I need more explanation as regards to this.
I will like if you can manage to write again.
Thanks and my Regards as i wish you quick recovery.
William.

Very tempted to kill Deissman off after William's diagnosis. And I have received an unrelated scam letter by fax, to which I shall refer

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear friend William,

Thankyou for your mail. I am still very weak, but the fever has mainly passed and the doctors say I am expected to recover fully.

With regard to the form, you should enter your name (Part 1 Question.1) as the Nigerian Tourism Development Corporation, and the address, telephone and other details of this corporation.

In Part 1, Questions 6,7,8,9,10 you should fill in with N/A (meaning Not Applicable).

Part 2: Questions 11, 12 and 13, you must answer clearly. For Question 13, it is best to write "Payment for contracts carried out" as I can verify this with the documents you have already sent me.

The Statutory Declaration is very important to fill out correctly as the Singapore authorities are very anxious not to be associated with money washing, frauds and terrorists. Please read each question carefully and answer appropriately with a cross in each box.

At the bottom of the Statutory Declaration, it is sufficient to provide the official stamp of your Nigerian Development Tourism Corporation, a signature is not required. I hope that is clear.

My secretary Miss Maztour, who is unable to visit me because of my infectious state, tells me she has received another fax from your office, from your personal advisor on contract bills in Abuja, and she will take that to the bank while I must stay here lying in my bed.

My best regards,

Kouba Deissman, Jr.

I hope that the casual reference to the Abuja fax will provoke a reponce.

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Kouba,
If you receive any letter donot act until i give you insruction.
can you provide the hospital number?
i will write again.
Regards,
William.

It always stirs them up

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Kouba,
Once again am honestly sorry for your health situation. As regards to the fax i will imploye you send a copy to me by fax or email as am not aware of such development, No doubt some dubious government official who are aware of the fund might be catching up and opportunity to contact you as it has been delay more than necessary, but a sound of warning must be sounded against any suspected backdrop.
This is a transaction of my hopes, dreams and aspiration so we should not give any opportunity for the divertion of the fund neither sit idle and allow some buffoons to steal what we have spent sleepless night putting together to achieve a common goals.
I will want you insruct your sec, to send me the fax, there contact address and other cordinates and he should not attend to any messages unless a strict verification is done by me or you. I will be waiting to receive the document and i will act as directed as regards the form with me.
Once again can you get me any phone to reach you?
My regards to you.
William.

Definitely no buffoons required here. I have the perfect example for not supplying him with a phone. But there is another twist. William's provenance is put into doubt by a mysterious e-mail from one Bello Afoladi. Who can he be?

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear William,

As you will see from the e-mails below, we have sorted out the problems with this fax.

It turns out to have come from your office, my secretary thought it was from Dagogo Okwu, but after a conversation, she now knows it came from Mr Bello.

Really I don't mind whether we conclude this business with yourself or Mr Bello, although it seems that Mr Bello might have more authority to speed up this business which has been beset by so many delays.

Kouba Deissman Jr.

--- Maztour Beita wrote:

> Date: Wed, 21 May 2003 07:37:51 +0800 (CST)
> From: Maztour Beita
> Subject: Fwd: Please hear out my explanation
> To: kouba_deissman

> > Sir,
> > Although the first fax said a name Dagogo Okwu, I > explained we were already talking to Mr Williams > regarding this Miss World business, but it seems > that Mr Bello is a friend of Mr Daogo in the same office > as Williams, and maybe can move the business along a > bit faster.
> > I hope you are feeling better today and that your > cough has eased.
> > Maztour.

> > --- Bello Afolabi belloafolabi@rediffmail.com
> wrote: > Date: 18 May 2003 23:27:35 -0000
> > Dear Mr Maztour,
> > Thank you for your kind communication and the > chance for me to > > explain my situation. You see, the fax was sent by > > Dagogo who is a worker in the office here before I had the chance > to understand that we were all communicating with the same > intent to carry out the transaction which we have all mandated. > > Thus you see I am BELLO AFOLABI, and I do indeed > > work with Williams Abe, although not his secretary, > > rather I am the external payments officer of the corporation you mentioned. > > Only using this modality can we ensure that this transaction will > > be 100% safe now and in the future, and also abide strictly and > > religiosly with in all laidout procedures and the transfer will pass > > through all internation transfer laws and regulations. > > I urge you to bring this matter to the attention > > of your boss Mr Dessman, and also give me your confiedential phone > > number and fax.
> > There is no need to involve Mr Williams in this matter any more, > > as maximum confidentiality must be our watchword OK?
> > > > Bello Afolabi
I set up the Bello Afolabi e-mail address for another scam-bait but it seems to fit well in here. I am expecting a long and rapid response to this...

ADE WILLIAMS

21 May
Dear Kouba,
I just want to adise you that this what I originated and there is no officer in my department that has authority more than i do,but if you feel am playing here you can go ahead with your new frivolous and non identify partner.
If you want to go ahead with me i need this person phone and fax so that i can fix him or her out.
But i do advise you base on my negotiation do not discuss with detal or you may decide to do his.
I have spoken my word you can only been used and dump you and it would definetly come back to me.
Let me know if am to look for other foreign partner.
Thanks,
William.

Short and garbled, was the result.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

William,

We are getting a bit confused here. Your last mail did not make much sense. I don't know why you curse Bello as "a frivolous and non identify partner."

On the 18th of March (more than two months ago!) I received this e-mail from your address:

"I am a top civil servant and i need to folow accordingly without violation of any known law neither of the arbitraction law. i like to talk with you, or you call me on my number 234 53 xx xx xx. or mobile:- 234 803 xxxxxxx. i will be expecting your call. Bello."

So don't try to pretend to me you don't know who Bello is, that is the act of a cheat and a liar. Are you trying to cut Mr Bello and Mr Dagogo out of their legitimate part in this deal, because I won't have that. This transaction must be above board or we could all be in trouble. You promised me this would be risk-free, and now, while I am here in hospital, you start to make difficulty and confusion.

If you want to continue this transaction then you must do several things quickly. First, fill out the document I sent to you three weeks ago and return it by fax to my office. Second, you must get together with Mr Bello and Mr Dagogo and sort out who exactly is in charge of this transaction, I cannot continue getting conflicting instructions from two sources.

You assured me this would be a straightforward and simple piece of business. But thanks to your blundering, we have spent over two months on this deal, got nowhere, and all you have done is ask me to send you $26,000. What kind of business is that? I might remind you that Mr Bello has not asked me for any money at all.

Pull yourself together, and do it quickly.

Kouba Deissman Jr

There now. Suk that one out

ADE WILLIAMS

Dear Friend,
Do not get yourself confused I only demanded for your aassistance in getting the rest document i, e the national drug Law enforcement Agency (NDLEA)which you know everything about, another one is the Insurance Guanranteed Bond (IGB)YOU KNOW WHAT ALL THIS MEAN. Now what you should do get me the telephone of the said persons i read in there mail to that was forwarded to me that "no need to involved William into this transaction" you may check again, you do not know who is telling you the truth.
The mail you are reffering to was given to my sec, and his name is Saliu Bello I DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOU GET YOUR OWN BELLO. I must reiterate to you that my sec, is not part of our arrangement unless insruction is given to him , i refute and explained this immediately to youy i hope you will understand and i pray you should to avoid complication.
I will send the fax after all this as you no longer give an easy and peacefull mind for this transaction nowingfully what i have spent for the arrangement and the document sent tou ealier.
I will love to read from now.
Regards,
William.
Not as angry as I thought. Deissman requires more

KOUBA DEISSMAN

William,

You say that your secretary Saliu Bello is not the same man as the Bello who has recently sent faxes and e-mails to my office. Then answer this question, please.

Why would anyone else from Nigeria be sending faxes to my office if it was not related to our business? I do not know anyone else in Nigeria, and nobody there knows my fax number. Only you have my fax number, nobody else. Please explain.

Deissman.

The scam is mired in confusion as someone called Bello has inserted himself into the process and is claiming to be the payments officer. It is now up to Ade Williams to put this notion to rest....

ADE WILLIAMS

26 May 2003

Dear Kouba,

Its absolutely sad and dissapointing that up till this moment of my reliable on you trust deligence and transparence to transfer the holesum ammount into your account without seen you in my life and despite our living in a far naighborhood you are not beliving me neither taking my word, you can only be desperate in telling me not to use language to a faceless hooligans that are bent in jeorpadizing our sleepless and hard working putting together and more pain full to tanish our long buld relationship its amazing.

I can not really answered the question as inferred previously on my mail those are government official that have seen your file maybe in one way or the other during there official duty, but i must be frank with you that i do not know them and there is noname like that in our ministry.

It will also pain me if you at any time attend to them because t5he result will not and never favour both of you,I have also said this time without number severel any type of communication with them pls stop for the sake of our relationship, our negotiation and finally for your interest.

Its really through that letter does not represnt anger but can only express anger, iam not really happy with the whole things we would have conclude now if not the financial problem holding me and the transfer form iam to send to you but we are still very mush in order if only you would let us conclude as i have planned. I will like to talk to if only you or the hospital authority will allowed or you call me any time on my mobile 234 - 803 - 7190089.please try and let conclude this week i will be waiting. thanks for your understanding.

My regards,

William.

What? Huh? Come again?

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear William

Your last e-mail made no sense to me whatsoever.

The whole thing is perfectly simple. If you are indeed the person in charge of this transaction, fill out the bloody form and send it back to me. It's really very easy. Get someone to help you, perhaps.

You keep complaining that "time is not on our side", but you have delayed four weeks in the sending of this document.

This is your last chance. If you wish to continue this transaction, then send the documents immediately. If you do not, I will know that you are not in a position of control to carry out this transaction, and I shall look for help elsewhere.

Deissman.

William is mildly apologetic

ADE WILLIAMS

28 May 2003

Dear Kouba,

We can be friend and be in position to advise each order and assist if come to.I think we do not need to be angry at this point.

I will send you the fax as soon as possible .

How is your health, are you back home now or still in the hospital?

I will send the fax as soon as possible.

My Regards,

William.

There is a longish delay as Deissman waits for the fax.

ADE WILLIAMS

04 Jun 2003

Dear Kouba,
How are you today? Are still in the hospital and how is it improving?
Sorry for responding late as regarded to the form I have filled it and passed to the Lawyer for endorsement.
I will send it to you first thing tomorrow, please confirm the fax number again.
Another point worth mentioning is have you severe communication with those men, No doubt they will still try and contact you but do not mind them there faceless government officials and nothing good will ever come from them.

My Friend, Kouba if you think about our relationship and for some time will have been communicating in spite we are living in a far neighborhood its will be sad if some arrant and buffoons we jeopardize our long build relationship. And therefore make us not to achieve our mutual goals.
For the sake of this, you are advise to stop further communication with howsoever and let us concentrate on how to close this transaction gloriously.
Thanks as I look forward for your acknowledgement and fax number confirmation.
My regards,
William.

We'll worry about those 'arrant and buffoons' later, I think. He gets like this once in a while, all soapbox-and-suds.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

William,

I really feel that we must act soon or abandon this whole project. My fax number, again, is +65-xxxx-xxxx.

I shall expect an early reply from you.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

06 Jun 2003

Dear Kouba,
I will send the fax today.
thanks for your understanding.
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

07 Jun 2003

Dear Kouba,
I just sent the fax now,please confirm receipt.
Thanks,
William

There is a delay....my fault, I'm afraid

KOUBA DEISSMAN

Dear William,

I received page 2 of the fax, but not page 1. Can you please send page 1 as well so that I can have these documents validated by the Monetary Authority?

And please don't take 4 weeks about it this time.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

11 Jun 2003
From: Saliu Bello

confirm receipt to his mail or by phone.

Bello.for Mr William.

Mr. Bello again, is that his Mr Bello, or mine? And a fax has now arrived from the Nigerian president himself. Deissman institutes more enquiries

KOUBA DEISSMAN

12 Jun 2003

William,

We must move this business along quickly or abandon it soon.

Everything is becoming very difficult.

The bank is now making me pay charges on the special account I set up for this transaction over two months ago.

Furthermore, it seems that the buffoon Mr Bello whom I told you about before is once again e-mailing me and trying to steal our business. As you instructed, I do not intend to deal with him in any way.

Also, I have received a fax from someone claiming to be your president (Mr Obasanjo) saying he is delaying my payment on an earlier contract. What contract?

Or is this Mr Bello playing games again?

Just send the first page of the Incoming Funds Application fax please, and stop wasting any more of my time.

Deissman.

Of course, it was his Mr Bello....

ADE WILLIAMS

12 Jun 2003
Dear Friend,
Thanks God and you for quick understanding do not mind them just ingnore the contact and always verifying things with me am the only legitimate and original local patner you have now.
I have send the fax via attachment to you yesterday did'tyou receive it?please specify the on you needthe one with my particulars or the other one i thick.
there is one with your contact which one mention it very clear to me and let me try the fax again.
thanks a lot as i look forward to read from you.
William.

....but he didn't seem to realize it.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

William,

I received no attachment yesterday, only one mail from Mr Bello, which I deleted as you instructed, and a fax from Mr Obasanjo which I threw away.

Please try to send page 1 of the fax as soon as possible, as time is not on our side here.

Kouba.

We really have spent six weeks playing tag with this fax, raising distinct doubts about William's mental competence.

ADE WILLIAMS

13 June 2003

Dear Kouba,
I will re send the fax today.
thanks.
N:B PLEASE LET ADDRESS THE BALANCE OF THE DOCUMENT IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THE FAX.

ADE WILLIAMS

13 Jun 2003

Dear Kouba.
Once again,I am honestly happy to receive your previous mail.the unfolding scenario as its going to affect our transaction is not only tricky and challenging,Against this backdrop i repeated a note of warning must be sounded the last time.This transaction most be protected using all available means within our diposal.

Note that we have set some enquiry on motion to track this underworld men but the feelers reaching me from my inner contactconfirm they are faceless person that they are only impersonating.

Nonetheless,let me reiterate that I am most intrigued to work with you.Honestly,I do not know how i I could have fare without you in the succesfull completion of this project.Your complete sense of dilligence,commitment and straight forwardness cannot be overlooked.I must say you have satisfy me with the strong capability you have displayed in handling and concluding same. Iam overwhelmed, i want you inturn to have absolute confidence in me.
Therefore,I expect that you start to make a list of all your expenses including your telephone calls as I am also keeping mine, at the end all necessary deduction will be made before sharing.
As regards the present progress of the transaction i have been brief that as soon as will have the National Drug Law Certificate and the insurance the Fund will be drawn from our offshore center in MalasiaI want you to conclude what you are doing quickily and give me detal I will also want you to address the balance of $8,000 dollars.
Thanks and my best regards,
Ade William.

ADE WILLIAMS

17 Jun 2003
Dear Kouba,
I sent the fax since and you have not acknowledge the receipt, did you receive the two pages now?
i need your soonest reply.
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

21 Jun 2003

Dear Kouba,
I wondered if everything is okay with you as i have not read anything from you since i sent you the fax requested.
Hope nothing funning is going on or have you decided to work with those thieves?.
I need to read from you as i need to conclude withy you or in alternative i sorted for other foreign partner.
Regards,
William.

I can't decide. Is he just a lousy scammer, or does he have so many scams going that poor old Kouba Deissman is a mere sideshow?

KOUBA DEISSMAN

22 Jun 2003
Williams,

I asked you more than one week ago to resend page 1 of the fax but you have not responded.

Either send page 1 of the fax to me immediately or do not contact me again, I have wasted so much time waiting for you I am getting very fed up.

Deissman.

Now Williams goes silent........

KOUBA DEISSMAN

24 Jun 2003

Dear William,

At the beginning of our transaction you wrote to me as follows: "You must understand that we are almost working behind time frame for this payment so we must do things very fast to enable us close this transaction gloriously."

Why do you not follow your own instructions?

I see that my secretary sent you the Application Form on April 3rd. That is 7 weeks ago, and you have not managed in all that time, to send me a 2-page fax. What kind of business is this?

So, in answer to your question, I do not know whether you wish to continue or not. I have been ready to do this business for almost two months, but you continue to delay for some unknown reason.

If you are working with someone else, I wish you would have the guts to say so, instead of fooling around like this.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

24 Jun 2003
Dear Kouba,
I have send the fax in many occasion but did not arrive well i also sent an attachment.
You are talking like if i do not want to conclude this transaction.
I will try and send the fax tomorrow.

Maybe the scanner at his local Internet cafe is broken

ADE WILLIAMS

24 Jun 2003
I promised i will send you the fax as soon as possible.
All the rest is because of the election and i still have to spare time
for this as its outside my official duty as you know.
Thanks for your consinged.
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

25 Jun 2003
Dear Kouba,
I sent the two copies yesterday confirm adrress the issue soonest.
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

26 Jun 2003
Dear Kouba,
Pls acknowledge the fax sent and let proceed.
William.

The fax has arrived after a nine-week delay. Now it is time to introduce some other players, Interpol and the FBI, for example

KOUBA DEISSMAN

26 Jun 2003

Dear Williams,

I have received the fax, and have lodged it with the Monetary Authority of Singapore for validation and clearance.

They sometimes carry out further investigations into the source of funds, but I think it is unlikely they will contact you directly. If they do, you will just have to stick to our story.

When the validation process is complete, I will let you know so you can transfer the funds.

Regards,

Deissman.

He doesn't like it

ADE WILLIAMS

27 Jun 2003

Dear Kouba,
What type of verification? you know this transfer is confidential i believe you can take care of that.
how do will go about the document i told you.
please4 address this and get back to me now that you have finally nreceive the document.
My regards,
William.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

27 Jun 2003

Dear Williams,

Do not worry about the verification, this is just something that the Singapore authorities must do under the new Anti-Terrorism and Money Laundering laws which have been introduced.

I spoke to Mr Soh, the deputy director, today and they say they just do some checks on me and you with the FBI and Interpol and your Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), so unless you are a wanted criminal, and I'm sure you're not, we will be in the clear.

Mr. Soh says the whole thing will take less than a week if everything is clear.

Regards,

Kouba.

ADE WILLIAMS

28 Jun 2003
Dear Kouba,
I told you to assit me for the last document but you are silent over it, pls let finish up as you are continue the sreening over there.
i will love to read from you today.
Regards,
William.

Eh? What was that? There is a delay while the 'authorities' check our validity

ADE WILLIAMS

06 Jul 2003
Dear Kouba,
I am trying if it will be possible to receive this payment among the approved fund just send to malysia at our offshore office.
How about the clearance and the balance $8,000 i told you of,please respond immediately.
Thanks,
William.

I'm not sure I remember any $8,000 but it must be the scam amount.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

07 Jul 2003

Dear William,

The position is that we must wait for Interpol and the FBI to finish all their checks before we can proceed.

You must understand that in the current geopolitical climate it is not easy just to move millions of dollars secretly around the world, as everyone believes this must be drug money or weapons money or from a fraud.

But don't worry -- if all the information you supplied on the form is correct, there should be no problem.

I was myself contacted on Friday by the Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) department of the Singapore police, but when I told them about the Nigerian beauty contest they accepted my explanation.

If anyone from Interpol or the FBI contacts you directly, just stick to our story and I am confident we will win through in just a very few days.

Regards,

Kouba.

I suppose I could pretend to be the FBI and mail him accordingly, but I want to move this scam forward a bit before someone comes along and puts it in a museum. In any case, he doesn't seem to be much put out by all the Interpol talk.

"MONETARY AUTHORITY OF SINGAPORE"

To: Ade Williams

09 Jul 2003

ATTN: KOUBA DEISSMAN JR.

This is to confirm that your request to transfer US$10.5 million into your nominated bank account has been approved for a limited time only by the Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS).

Your designated bank has been informed that the transfer has been approved from 9/7/03 to 16/7/03 only under the certificate number SG/MU-0890307A.

If the transfer cannot be completed within this time, you may need to apply to MAS for an extension to your certificate. Extensions will normally be granted once only, for a period of not less than one week.

Further details of MAS services and regulations can viewed at our Web site at http://www.mas.gov.sg.

Regards,

Soon Bok Choy,
Investigating Officer,
Inbound Clearance Department,
MAS
Bok Choy is a kind of green Chinese vegetable, not that it matters. That mail (which carried an official From: address of mas.gov.sg) was cc'd to William.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

09 Jul 2003

Dear William,

Allow me to congratulate you -- we have finally been granted clearance by the Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) to transfer the money into my account.

You must do this immediately, as our approval is for a limited time only.

The approval certificate, if you need it for banking purposes at your end, is SG/MU-0890307A. You will be receiving confirmation of this from the MAS people themselves.

Contact me when the money has been transferred, so I know where to transfer your share.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

Not so fast, Mr Deissman....

ADE WILLIAMS

10 Jul 2003
Dear Kouba,
We really deserve celebration, but first thing on my last mail i complained of been broke and implore you to assit me in raising balance of $8,000 dollars for the NATIONAL DRUG LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY CERTIFICATE.
Without this we may not be able to conlude now as we must have the certificate and the INSURANCE GUARANTEED BOND.
But I am happy that our payment have been schedule via malysia so we must do things very urgent to conclude now.
Please address this matter and furnish me with your Direct telephone number.
My best personal regards to you.
Your sincerely,
Ade William.

He wants the dough, he'll have to go back to his pal with the Photoshop PC.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

12 July

Dear William,

In order to pay the $8,000, I urgently need you to send me a copy by e-mail attachment or fax of the NATIONAL DRUG LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY CERTIFICATE and the INSURANCE GUARANTEED BOND.

I beg that you do this immediately today and not wait six weeks as you did with the Incoming Funds Application.

We are near to success and you must act quickly as time is not on our side.

Kouba.

He really doesn't like this at all -- documents are not his forte

ADE WILLIAMS

12 July 2003
Hello Deissman,
You seem not to understand this, i have deposited some ammount of money with the agent balance $8,000 dollars as soon as i complete the ballance i will collect and forward to your payment file and send you a copy as demanded.
I was happy when I was told that the payment have been approve for payment thru malaysia offshore center pls call me today or provide me a telephone number to call you as will need to do this very urgent.
await your response.
Regards,
Ade William.

That was one of William's dumber replies and it does not please Deissman

KOUBA DEISSMAN

13 July 2003

Dear William,

Why do you make stupid delays when we are so close to success? Do you not want to conclude this transaction?

I want to inspect these certificates so that I know what I am paying money for. I have not achieved my current status in business by paying money for documents I cannot inspect, do you understand?

Tell the agent to send me a copy of what these certificates contain. If he cannot do that, I shall have to contact the Nigerian embassy in Thailand directly myself and that will cause a further delay, so I don't want to do that.

So just be a good chap and get the agent to send it to me, okay?

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

13 July 2003

Dear Kouba,
Can you please talk to the agent your self or email him, do you think i will be lying at this stage, i can not really understand your mail talking to embassy is not bad but you must abide with the confidentiality of this transaction about two day a go some one call me on my mobile asking me why do i need to transfer such money from my country ay one, i did not answer him i told him to i dentify himself as he talk like african but he refused and told me he will call me again uptil know i have not heard anything, you see you must know the status of this transaction that it was arranged by me and some other staff in the presidency which we have both exausted money tremendously. If you are exposing it some men may be aware and dicovred itwas an overinflated ammount and decide to sit on it.just for $8,000 dollars.
I have talk to you the way you should understand but if you insist you want to talk to him i have his email address and phone email is xxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com and 234-803xxxxxxx and his name is babatunde alli but you must be care full when you are talking to him as i have told him you are my friend and i am doing this on your behalf so you must first introduce yourself first and mention my name and office.
I have not seen where you will inspect a document or have document before paying for it unless singapore is a different country in the world which i doubt.In every do cument here you make your payment and they give you documen after two or three days of payment. Pls take action now and let stop wasting of time.
Next time i will not take those insinuation what is the meaning of this
?Why do you make stupid delays when we are so close to success?
I await your response.

William.

What's so hard to understand about a direct insult? Time to have some fun with the lawyer, using a scam letter format found (of course) at Scamorama, suitably tweaked.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

From: Kouba Deissman
To: Babatunde Alli

13 Jul 2003

Dear Babatunde Alli,

This letter might come as a surprise to you especially since we have never met or discuss before. Basically, the message might sound strange but it is factual in reality if only you care to know.

I am KOUBA DEISSMAN JR, a business associate of Mr William Ade of your acquaintance.

We are at a very delicate point in our business, and, as I am sure you will already know, William is a very unintelligent person and is incapable of understanding the steps that must now be taken.

So I turn to you and please accept my humble apologies if I had caught you unawares.

In order to export some materials from your country, we need to certify that the materials do not contain drugs -- it is called a NATIONAL DRUG LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY CERTIFICATE. Apparently, together with this we are required to obtain an INSURANCE GUARANTEED BOND.

As I have repeated to William without success many times, in order to release funds for these documents I wish to have an idea of their provenance. I'm sure that you at least will understand that in these difficult days, nobody sends $6,000 overseas to pay for documents which they cannot confirm.

Thus I require you urgently to either fax me (fax number is +65-6234-6711) or send by e-mail attachment, the full contents of the above two documents. I hope you will be able to do this quickly as time is running out for the conclusion of this transaction.

Finally, the confidence and trust reposed on you cannot be over emphasised. Therefore, you are to keep this deal to yourself confidentially.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

BABATUNDA ALLI

From: Babatunde Alli
To: Kouba Deissman

Attn: Mr, Kouba Deissman (jnr)
I can hardly recollect you but i know i am handling some document for a commisioner of tourism and if that is what you are saying you nare right but i will confirm the name if i get to the office.

I have giving some document of contract awwarded by your company here in Nigeria but I was not happy the way you address him if actually is your friend because i know what he sufferred for the payment before he could meet up as he claim you are broke and he is doing it on your behalf.

Also it has been long he drop some ammount for the document mentioned and he surpose to have received the document as the government is now very strict on any fund or payment leaving Nigeria.

Finally, Its not possible to send the document to you when the money have not been completed what do you think i can do and let me remind you if you are the person of Mr Ade Wiliiam his money is $8,000 not $6,000 but i can not understand if he has paid another ammount which i do not know but i doubt that as i have known him for long and he deals with me directly, i will find out details from my office.

I will let him also know about this to asdertain your request.
Your sincerely,
Babatunde Alli.

Official agents don't talk like that, surely?

KOUBA DEISSMAN

To: Babatunde Ali

Well, if that's what you call a good way of doing business, you must be a bigger ass that you sound.

Forget the whole thing.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

15 Jul 2003

Dear Kouba,
i have not read anything as regards the contact i gave to , have you been able to speak with him please do this and get back to me soonest.
Regards,
William.

We are now exactly four months into this scam, and William Ade William of the Nigerian Beauty Pageant organization, is still tied up in paperwork. Neither he nor his "agent" is doing anything to mollify an increasingly cranky Kouba Deissman Jr.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

16 July 2003

Dear William,

I tried to call you earlier but there was no reply. I wanted to tell you that I am very fed up with the idiotic agent.

I am preparing to pay a sum of $8,000, right? And the bloody agent cannot even fax me a photocopy of the documents I am supposed to be paying for.

Get this. No fax = no money. Do you understand?

I am getting really tired of all these stupid objections and am ready to give up this business altogether unless I get some sensible action on your part.

Deissman.

This exchange seems to make William sad rather than angry

ADE WILLIAMS

16 July 2003
Dear Kouba,
Ref the letter send to me from the clearance office its you that is wasting our time now as you have not address the issue with the agent properly.
Time is running fast and we are risk.
Please what do we do and what is your suggestion can you conclude with the agent today?.
However, were you the person that call my office yesterday and you did not drop any message.
Reply urgent.
William.

Ade seems to feel that this e-mail requires some amplification

ADE WILLIAMS

17 Jul 2003
Dear Mr. Kouba Deissman Jnr.
Succinctly speaking the zeal, time and energy you have displayed since the commencement of this transaction can not be over emphasized. You must also realized that on my part, I have gone through a whole lot of inconveniences emanating from this transaction and this is because we invariable committed to see that our mutual goal is achieved within a very shortest possible time. We must also realize that transaction of such magnitude will attract a form of difficulties or rather inconveniences before it come to fruition. This does not mean, however that we should get frustrated and disappointed.
Honestly, I felt very piqued and hurting when I saw the copy of the mail you sent to Mr.Babatunde Alli insulting both of us.
I must reiterate to you that I have made considerable progress in respect of this transaction. I can assure you, it is not an easy fit to push it to its present stage without any previous financial assistant from you.
So far, so good, all the prerequisite approval have been adequately secured from the various government ministries and parastatals concerned . Those highly classified document were highly paid for, I would say that it is of utmost importance to note that I have spent close to seventy eight thousand dollars{US$78,000.00} out of this forty-five went to government as mandatory charges and obtaining of all relevant approval document for foreign contract genuinely other for bribe and other related settlement as we must perfect it all to avoid future implementation. Armed with all this approval you now assume the position of a foreign contractor-laying claim for a long over due contract entitlement legitimately.
Finally I implore you sincerely to rethink over and not to allowed anything jeopardize our long suffering and hope its unfortunate that we do not stay in a close neighborhood which make meeting more difficult since the beginning of the negotiation till now and also remember the trust I have which I have no tinge of doubt in transferring the total sum into your nominated account believing you can not disappoint me.
I implore you more sincerely to re- visit this issue of the balance amount for the document to enable us conclude this payment swiftly, as I promised any expenses made on behalf of this transaction by any member will be adequately taking care of before any sharing commences, so you must take my word for it.
Thanks as I look forward to hearing from you.
My regards,
Ade Williams

Another strange soapbox episode. Well, at least he picked up on the insult

KOUBA DEISSMAN

17 July 2003

Dear William,

As I wrote to you before, moving forward is very simple.

You simply have to persuade Mr Baba Tunde to send me a fax or mail attachment of the document I am supposed to be paying US$8,000 for.

This should not be difficult, as you are so close to him that you are even reading his e-mail.

Then, and only then, do we proceed.

Deissman.

William is quick to negate this slur

ADE WILLIAMS

17 Jul 2003

Dear Kouba,
I did not tell you i read his mail he sent a coppy to me i even received a copy of approval from singapore in my mail.
I will be leaving for Abuja today to meet Mr Babatunde Alli he work in the federal capital territory, federal sectariat Abuja.
I will see what we can do, it would have been beter you explain to him to use his connection to obtain the document that as soon as you receive it you will send the money to him.
Please i will advise you to contact him and explain that as soon as you receive the document you will make the payment, so if i arrive there it would be simple to deliberate on.
i look forward for this contact.
Regards,
William.

He got the approval letter! And presumably believed it. But what's all this crap about travelling to Abuja? Me no sabi.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

17 July 2003
Dear William,

I have explained to Babatunde Ali and he refused to help in any way.

It is up to you now, and I hope you will hurry as soon the time period granted by the Singapore authorities for transferring the funds will be ended.

And if we cannot transfer the funds in time, then we will not need this certificate any more, will we?

Time is against, so please act fast.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

Ade's response is disappointing -- he's forgotten all my details. Or has he passed the scam over to his 8-year old son?

ADE WILLIAMS

18 Jul 2003
Dear Kouba,
I do not really know your wishes in this negotiation, However, i have discussed with Mr Alli Babatunde but i need assured him strongly that i will pay the money not later than tuesday if the document is completed tommorrow and send to you, and i agreed but i must let you know this its risky because i do not know when you will like to send the money it must be immediately you receive the fax.
Meanwhile, I have left without the details of the documentation pls as a matter of urgency send to me the following details;- Company name, postal address, contract number,I can remember the rest.
please once again will must conclude now to avoid another delay in processing clearance from singapore.
thanks,
William.

It occurs to me that he is delaying on purpose to give him time to prepare the documents. Are there really that few people in Naija capable of doing this?
Deissman remains nasty

KOUBA DEISSMAN

18 July 2003

Dear William,

You say you do not know my wishes even though I have written them very clearly on about 5 occasions.

I. Want. To. See. A. Copy. Of. The. Certificate. Or.
I. Will. Not. Pay. Any. Money.

Do you understand? Try standing in front of a mirror and reading it out loud. Then write back and tell me which word you do not understand.

Always these stupid delays from your side.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

18 Jul 2003
Hello Kouba,
Why are you making things difficult at this crucial time, i have inferred in my previousmail that there is arrangement going on to process the document and send to you, but unfortunately i did not come with the other details kindly as a matter of urgency furnish me with this below details,
Your full name ( i think i get that one correct.)
Contact address ( correct postal address)
Payment approval number ( your contract number very important)
I mthink i can get the rest off hand.
Please send this information very urgent and i will get back to you.
Regards,
William.

If this were a legitimate business deal, Deissman would have a right to be angry. So he is.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

19 Jul 2003
Dear William,

Really I find your demeanour incredible. In a professional negotiation, you firstly take six weeks to return an urgent two-page fax, and now you cannot remember my name and address.

Are you serious, or are you just engaged in a child's play like a small boy?

I have really never met anyone as incompetent as you.

As you have forgotten my name, I assume this means you have also lost the contract you sent to me?

For the final time, then:

Name: Kouba Deissman, Jr.
Company Random Blocks Building Pte Ltd
Address: 39 Kallang Babi Road #02-65 Singapore 912652
Contract Number: FGN-FMIT/FMCT-256/2001.

Try not to forget these details again. Perhaps you might consider writing them down? Would that help?

Deissman.

I'll say this for him -- he's a hard man to insult

ADE WILLIAMS

20 Jul 2003

Hello Deissman,
I must say out of the 100 problem facing me in this negotiation yours is 60% as you failed to understand things with me, I can not forget your name but to do something accurately i have to get the correct address for the company and contract number which after waiting i have to call my sec. to track my wife and get all this file from her which i never wanted, but i have got the details before your mail and i got the document very late on friday but under the condition that i will not be able to have the receipt untill i pay the ballance and i have immediately sent the fax to you(3pages). please you have to check now and get Back to me as i will not be able to leave untill the payment is made and the receipt sent to the authority concerned.
You have also failed to give me your phone number and refused to call me despite the urgency this entailed.
Well, i hope will are going to meet very soon.
Respond very urgent.
William.

Three faxes arrive, very shoddy work, a disgrace to the noble 419 tradition. Still, it's time to press on.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

20 Jul 2003

Dear William,

I received your fax this morning -- well done, that wasn't so difficult, was it?

Now if you had done that a week ago as I requested instead of whining and complaining, this business would have been complete by now.

In truth, of your 100 problems, 99 are caused by your own incompetence and the other 1 by the appalling reputation your country has in terms of fiscal probity which renders all these documents necessary.

As we are late with the documents, I now have to go back to the Monetary Authority of Singapore to request an extension to our Incoming Funds clearance.

You had better hope that this is granted to us, or we will be back at square one.

Deissman.

The pace is hotting up. There are new improved Western Union modalities afoot, reuiring personal ID. Are they -- or William and his various alter egos -- prepared to send genuine passport details, especially now they have given false names?

ADE WILLIAMS

21 Jul 2003

Mr. Kouba.
This exactly what am saying you should imagine the humilation from both Mr Alli And his office and my leavung my office to stay in Abuja, Please i beg you with all honesty send me the money first let me finish up here, I beg you.
I have to leave here latest tuesday.
Thanks for youe coperation and understanding to address this issue.
William.

Does he take cheques?

KOUBA DEISSMAN

21 Jul 2003

Dear William,

You need to supply me with your address there and I will send the cheque immediately by express post. This will enable you to leave on time.

Regards,

Kouba.

Williams has another attack of brain fade

ADE WILLIAMS

21 Jul 2003

MY DEAR,
THEY WILL NOT BE TIME FOR THAT NOW, PLEASE SEND IT BY WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER AND IN THE NEXT 24HOURS THE AGENT WILL BE ABLE TO RECEIVE IT AND SPLIT IT AS HE WANTED.
THE NAME AGAIN IS MR. BABATUNDE ALLI AND HIS ADDRESS IS FEDERAL CAPITAL TERRITORY, FEDERAL SECTARIAT, ABUJA.
PLEASE DO THIS NOW TO ENABLE ME CONCLUDE AND GO BACK TO MY OFFICE.
MY REGARDS,
WILLIAM.

I didn't think so, after all, what use is a cheque sent to a false name? It is therefore time to set up the next hurdle, the new security-mandated Western Union modalities.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

22 Jul 2003

Dear William,

From what I understand here, a Western Union transfer will be the quickest way to get the money to Mr Babatunde Alli.

I have been to the main Western Union office here and they say that transfer will be almost instantaneous. I never realized this was possible.

The Western Union people here require some details from Mr Alli to complete this transaction.

1) The full address, and WU office number (if possible) of the office where he wants to receive the money.

2) A photocopy of his passport, including a clear photograph and his signature, must be faxed or e-mailed to me here, as he will have to match his genuine passport with the photocopy in order to receive the money.

Apparently, it used to be enough just to organize a WU transfer using a secret question and answer, but this is no longer possible due to new security requirements.

Please get Mr Alli to send that information to me as soon as possible so we can finally complete this transaction.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

That was pretty clear.

ADE WILLIAMS

22 Jul 2003

Hello Deissman,
In addition to my previous mail incase you are finding it difficult to send it by western union Mr said they have account they use for foreign transfer is and agent account but that is what they use for something of this nature.
I have told him to get me the details account if you may choose that but anyway western union is faster and reliable you may split it into two places if you so wish.
But if you want to transfer you must ndeavour to send me the payment slip as and evidence and as soon as i sirmit it to the office i will be allowed to leave untill the payment is confirm.
Thanks,
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

22 Jul 2003

I just met Mr Babatunde for the request but he said he has an international passport but he is not in his position presently, but he can give the number if needed and his office address is AB,GOLD AGENT. AND OFFICE IS IN FEDERAL SECTARIAT ABUJA.AND THE NRECEIVING POINT IS FIRST BANK NIGERIA GARKI ABUJA. I THINK THIS SHOULD SURFICE BUT IF THIS CAN NOT POSSIBLE YOU CAN USE THIS ACCOUNT DETAIL FOR THE TRANSFER AND IT WILL BE RECEIVE MAY 3-4 DAY BUT YOU MUST ENDEAVOUR TO SEND TO ME THE RECEIPT OF PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS THE ACCOUNT BELLOW.

Here is the account :-

BLOM BANK-BEUROUTH
ISTIKLAL BRANCH
SWIFT CODE: BLOMLB BX
A/CNO:021/02 304/118956/1
CORRESPONDENT BANK NEW YORK
1-BANK OF NEW YORK {N.Y}
A/C NO: 8033217235
BENEF : HASSAN AYACHE & PARTNER & CO.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this information and get me posted accordingly.
Thank as look forward to hearing from you
Regards,

William.

What was all that about the passport, it didn't compute. Still, there's a bank account the Feds might be interested in. I'm sticking to WU.

ADE WILLIAMS

22 July 2003

This is not good for me not to have a phone number directly to you.
give me your phone in any case of emergency.
Please try your best if the western union office can accept those details,as its more better.
you can call me on my mobile 234- 803 - xxxxxxx.
Regards,
William.

Yes, Western Union is more better. So where's the passport picture?

KOUBA DEISSMAN

22 July 2003

Dear William,

As you know you can call me at +65-xxxx-xxxx at any time, but I urge you to tell Alli to send his passport photo details quickly, because if he does not I cannot make the transfer and we are about to run out of time.

Please I beg you do this quickly.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

23 July 2003

Well i have entered into your trap at this our am our in the regreting period of my life as you are making life difficult for me.
I have told him and promised to come with it may be tomorrow.
So am still waiting two of you to do as you like.
if he eventually come with it tomorrow i will send it.
Bye,
William.

Eh? Making life difficult for you? Awwwww......

KOUBA DEISSMAN

23 July 2003
Dear Williams,

Stop whining and stop being an idiot. I am not making life difficult for you. It is the law, that's all.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

23 July 2003
i am still waiting for Mr Alli to come with his passport.
Meanwhile the number you gave to me is not correct i have call the number twice this morning what i heard is wrong number.Have a look at the number again.65 - 63 - xxxxxx. make confirmation and get back to me.
William.

BABATUNDA ALLI

To: Kouba Deissman
Hello, this is your request, after i must have done your job which you never believe.
Alli

I have no idea what he means by the second half of that. Actually, I do. He has sent an obviously faked pasport which must have been an awful lot of work. It indicates they are getting as bit toey about the whole thing, which of course is the main aim.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

24 July 2003

Dear Alli,

I have received your passport details, thankyou.

I now need to know the exact address of the Western Union office where you want to go to collect the money.

When you have done that, I will instruct Western Union to make the payment there.

Once Western Union has checked your bonifieds, they will send the money, along with your photocopied passport photograph and your details, to that particular Western Union office.

You must then present your passport photograph and details to the bank officer for comparison, at which time you will be able to take the money.

Please respond quickly.

Kouba Deissman Jr.

William is keen for some action. Drooling, in fact.

ADE WILLIAMS

24 July 2003
Re: Thanks for the insults

Dear Deissman,
I have just spoke with Mr Alli and he confirmed he has on his own sent the passport to you, please please take action quckily and get back to me.
Thanks,
William.
Quckily it is

KOUBA DEISSMAN

24 July 2003
Dear William,

I have received Alli's passport details and have been incommunicado with him this morning.

I expect everything will be concluded within one day's time which will be just quick enough to satisfy the Monetary Authority of Singapore.

I hope you are ready to transfer the money at a moment's notice.

And you don't need to thank me for the insults, they were richly deserved.

Regards,

Deissman.

We're into the end game now, and there are gratifying signs that Ade William Ade is beginning to become unhinged. It is hard to see what other twists can remain to prolong this scam and it could be cards on the table time fairly soon.

The money is all prepared, and WU is the modality.

BABATUNDA ALLI

To: Kouba Deissman

Send it i will receive it after 24hrs at First Bank Garki Branch Abuja.
endeavour to send me the code, the secret question if any and amount, your address, city and state of sender.
I will be waiting for the details.
Alli.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

24 July 2003

Dear Alli,

I will arrange to send the money to that bank address first thing tomorrow.

With the new high-security format of Western Union transfers, we do not require a secret question.

You simply take your passport to the bank, and the bank teller matches that to the photocopy you sent me, which W.U. has returned to them along with the money request.

Deissman.

So that's all settled then. We know where to send the money, how much, and by what modality.

ADE WILLIAMS

24 July 2003
Thanks,Deissman,
I want you to address the issue of telephone number as its important at this stage, the one you gave before is not correct.
I will look on to your promised.
Regards,
William.

Ignored.

ADE WILLIAMS

25 July 2003
Mr. Deissman,
what is the situation now? its very sad and disgusting not to read from you today at all,after all the requested information have been sent to you completely.
Let me know the situation over there.
Regards,
William.

By a stroke of luck, I received a fax from Abuja at about this time. It is another and completely unrelated scam, but is absolutely ideal for gumming up this scam, especially as it gives me the opportunity to send William a 1.2MB attachment

KOUBA DEISSMAN

25 July 2003

William,

The fool lawyer Alli has made a big mistake and has got all the details wrong in the contract.

Instead of the bank coordinates I specified, he has entered details of some bank in Denmark which I have never owned.

And he has the nerve to tell me I must now contact Mr Peter Udo, the chairman of the Contract and Payment Reconciliation Committee to obtain yet another certificate.

This is a truly disgusting moment, to find out that the lawyer is equally as incompetent as you are.

So that you can see for yourself what an idiot Alli is, I enclose the contract he sent me as an e-mail attachment.

You have some explaining to do. I do not wish to deal with this fellow Alli again.

Deissman.

I expect the reaction to this to be apoplectic.

ADE WILLIAMS

26 July 2003

Hello,
You must stop insulting me now, i gave you option of sending this Money to the account and sent me the payment slip it must have been clear by now, what is happening, can't you give me your phone number correctly?.
Please call me now or provide me a number to call you.
In the alternative pay to the Bank account and send me the slip.
This have to be done as it has been looking suspcious in nthe eye of the officer that signed the certificate, please address this issue with higher urgency.
Thanks,
William.
N.B. Call me now. or give me a number to talk to you.

ADE WILLIAMS

26 July 2003

I have been trying to open the attachment but not possible, please i have instructed my Sec. to put my office fax on send it by fax to me and endeavour to send the money by Western Union Now or send it to the account i gave you they own the account and as soon as i surmitted the slip we are free its left for them to go and sort the money out with there agent.
Please do this now and give me phone number to reach you.
Thanks as i wait for your urgent attention.
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

26 July 2003

This is a ploy to divert the fund by some officials as its long the payment have been approved, i just talk to Mr Alli he said he does not know anything about this and that the original document to your contract payment carried your correct banking details.
Do not surmit any details to this thieves they are hoodloms, you just comply as i direct we are in Abuja the number they gave to you is in Lagos why?.
Abuja is the head of affairs so why lagos fax they want to distabilise you and jeopardize our latest success, do not attend to them in any way they contact you.
Make the payment as directed by W.U or transfer to the account given and leave the rest for me.
Thanks, do not forget to call me or give me your phone number.I await your express attention please.
William.

It's clear he didn't read the fax -- the number that President Obasanjo gave was, surprise, surprise, a mobile phone number, nothing to do with Lagos. There is still more to come from William on this momentous day....

ADE WILLIAMS

I have waited all thru. today for your call or for you to give me a number to call you but all to no avail.
What is actually the matter with you on this phone?.
Anyway try and send the money anyhow you prefer Western or thru account giving i can take care of my end, but do not reply nor contact those thieves. Bye for today.
William.

More checking is required by Deissman, which is not going to make William's day, or indeed his weekend.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

27 Jul 2003
Dear William,

Please send me your fax number as a matter of urgency. This fax relating to the contract came from Abuja (not Lagos) so I assume you have not read it, and it is important that you do so, and I want to send it to you.

I cannot believe it has been sent by anybody other than Alli as it refers to our business.

Deissman.

The pressure is still on Williams to explain the mystery fax. A glimmer of a dangerous idea has sprouted in Deissman's brain (do glimmers sprout?)

ADE WILLIAMS

28 Jul 2003
Dear Kouba,
My problem with you is lack of understanding, at last i opened the attachment, but it must be the same people that want to try to steal the fund initially that send the fax, I was expecting you to call me so that i can explain to you vividly but or was in vain.
Believe me Iam here and you have no fear your account will be credicted if this drug certificate is concluded with, ingnore the contact the phone on the top of the document is a mobile phone which is not applicable, i can not explain or here we are try to track the person anyway i have reported the communication company so i will take care of that soonest.
the fax they want you to respond to is in Lagos and the fax was sent from a private communication office look at the upper most of the document you will get wexactly what Iam saying. My problem is to cleared the fund with this certificate so i implore you to have trust in my capability that as soon as we receive the money things will be over.
Let me reiterate again that Mr Alli is ingnorant and your file is carrying your correct account details .
Please I implore you again to act quckily let finalise this payment.
Thanks as I await your urgent response.
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

28 Jul 2003
Dear Kouba,
I just want to reiterate to you again for certainty, I know you must have some fear and that is why you are a bit skeptical,If you actually beleive in me and trusted me that we are working for one goal go ahead with your arrangement as I always inferred in my previous mail that this payment is my hope and aspiration and i can never see anything to jeopardize it and be sleeping.
This morning i talk to the sec. of the minister of finance who happen to be my corper mate and he said he will try and fix those men out as soon as possible.
I also confronted Mr. Alli Again if he release any information out or keep it carelessly he denied and was not too happy for the accusation, he said he is goig to write you as he demanded for your phone i have to wave it as its a she\ame telling him i do not have a telephone for you. If you can send the money today which i implore you most sincerely to do, please get me your phone number for quick and direct communication.
I hope to read a good news from you soonest.
Regards,
William.

The idea is this. Deissman, unnerved by all the strange faxes from several buffoons in Nigeria, is going to ask Williams to make a demonstration of his bonifieds

KOUBA DEISSMAN

28 Jul 2003
Dear William,

I can only think that something odd is going as things begin to smell fishy, making me very uncertain.

Twice now, I have received faxes from Nigeria relating to large-money transactions, and you tell me these are false and the work of buffoons and fraud stars.

Is Nigeria full of these cheating people trying to cheat people out of money? In that case, how can I be sure you are not of the same ilk? Do you understand?

Last Friday, I was on the point to send you money by Western Union, but after the fax from President Obusanjo which you say is a fake, I really must reconsider.

I shall require you to make some gesture of trust wordiness towards me before I proceed. I have no doubt about your honesty and your bonifieds, but all these fraud star faxes coming from Nigeria are beginning to worry me.

I'm sure you understand my position.

Deissman.

Williams is rattled by this.

ADE WILLIAMS

28 Jul 2003
Hello Deissmn,
I am surprised to read this from you, this exactly what our defractors want As you know i can not be waiting putting my personality and the whole arrangement under jeorpady, i will need to read from you your strict decision as i begin to worring if you actually have trust in my words.
How can this buffoons stop the proceed and putting us at a very dangerous risk i must reiterate i can not allowed that, take care of your ends and i will take care of mine prompt.
I just have to leave Abuja and attend to my official duty.
As soon as you read this message call me on my office line or send the money as its enough for this foot dragging i have giving you my word. The officer incharge of the document have begin to read something to the delay in payment, how do you want me to defend that?.
Please act prompt.
Regards,
William.

Deissman isn't letting him by with that, oh no.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

29 Jul 2003
William,

This is absolutely typical.

I ask you for a detailed explanation of why I am continually being sent faxes from buffons like Bello and Obasanjo.

All you do is reply and say everything is all right, everything is all right.

Everything is not all right.

Are these people crooks, as you seem to be saying? Why do the police not stop them doing this? What is going on in your country that people can behave like this? What are they trying to achieve? Are there a lot of crooks like this in your country?

Really I do not understand these matter, and you seem not to want to explain.

Well, that is up to you, but if you don't want to address my concerns with a serious and detailed explanation, there is no more to be said.

Deissman.

Williams remains on the defensive but gives no ground. Perfect.

ADE WILLIAMS

29 Jul 2003

Dear Kouba,
Its most astonished reading this from you if i may ask, are they no criminal in singapore untill tomorrow? there here, there and everywhere in the world, but as regards this we have reported to the mobile communication company and investigation are in top gear to track them, but can this stop us or shall we continue to wait for this Men?.
Why did you not take me for my word and let get this clearance then see if am capable in this.
I am terribly disappointed once again that you still doubt this negotiation and that is the most reason why you have not sent the money, what fact did you want? I have given you my personal house address, office phone, and mobile phone, and going to the extends of giving you details of sending Mr.Alli passport to you what explanaition did you really need?.I have sent you most vital and valid document and but uptill now i do not have telephone for you for better explaination, for real i should be afraid if you will abscond with my share as i have no real contact for you but Iam working by faith and trust as you promised.
The fact that we are living in a far naighborhood does not mean we can not reach each other if time permit and we want to,I am a bit discouraged in your delay and lukewarness.
You might look the money so small as i do not know your status of wealth or what, but i am a civil servant and its a big ammount to me and it took me time energy,sleepless night putting all this together and have spent tremendously before it come to its present stage, and i must tell you that this is my hope and aspiration that as soon as i retired i will have good things to do with you.
Well, i do not know what to explain, but i will love if you can send the money now and give me a benefit of doubt and i promised the fund will be accredited to the desingnated account giving , do not have fear.
I am in the office you can call me for further explanation.
But Act prompt so that the official incharge of the document will not think otherwise.
Thanks as I await your response.
My Regards,
William.

Deissman moves into position.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

30 Jul 2003
Dear Williams,

Have I understood you correctly? You say that Nigeria is full of crooks sending these false letters to people in other countries to try and scam money from them?

In that case, how do I know that you are not one of them? I don't see why I should trust you when you don't show any trust in me?

I hope you can explain.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

30 Jul 2003
Dear Deissman,
I will take any insult you gave to me as regards this negotiation, but what exactly do you need from me that you have not got, you have all my data's i have promise you all what i think is good in distance negotiation , i have spent all my money for this you know each document i sent to you cost me a lot of money.
Its also not and easy fit to arrive at this stage, i beleive this is the only time i am asking for finacial assistance from and it must be the last.
I did not also said to you that good people are not here, good and honest people abond here including good business, and i said to you there is no country in the world where such people are not existing,including your country.
Well if you think its too good to footdrag this matter and put the whole of our goal in jeopardy you must have gone wrong.
I am confuse now because it is not possible for me to raise the fund and it si a very big risk to me and my parsonality as regards the document officials.
I beg you once again as i do not know how to convince you about the validity and importance this payment is to me.
please what exactly do you need from me for geniness and originality of the whole arrangement for us to conclude?
I will be expecting your response.
Regards,
William.

He couldn't have led up to it better. Deissman makes his play.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

01 Aug 2003
Dear Williams,

In my country, we are able to trust one another because business here is a matter of give and take, not just one person (ie: you) asking for money the whole time. That creates a bad atmosphere.

In fact, in my country, business transactions begin with each side making a gift to the other as a matter of trust and, especially, honor.

If you wish to enter into a binding honorable relationship with me in this business, I think that now may be the time for you to show that honor and respect.

Do not worry -- a small token gift is all that is required. It is just our custom, although something which is no doubt very strange to you Nigerians.

I propose this. You will place a 500-naira note (I believe that is about US$4) inside a Christmas or birthday card, and mail it to me at my company's address:

PO Box XXX,
XXXXXXX Post Office
SINGAPORE XXXXXX.

Then I will have received your tribute of honor and respect and we will have binding trust between us. Then, with this matter of honor settled, I shall proceed to immediately send the funds to Mr. Alli.

I hope you can agree to this. If you are unable to do this, it shows a lack of mutual respect which makes our business impossible to proceed with.

Best regards,
Deissman.

The wait for his reaction is short.

ADE WILLIAMS

01 Aug 2003
Dear Kouba,

Succinctly speaking, once again the zeal, time and energy coupled with financial commitment you have displayed since the commencement of this transaction can not be overemphasized.
You must also realized that on my part I have gone through a whole lot of inconveniences emanating from this transaction and this is because we are invariably committed to see that our mutual goal is achieved within the shortest possible time.
Honestly, I felt very piqued when I had to go through some of your most recent mail, I actually appreciate your unreserved commitment to this negotiation but its very hurting and embarrassing when you made and insinuation remarks of the geniuness of the whole arrangement. Again let me disabuse your mind from the genuiness of this transaction. its not a scam you people always propaganda, I know some part of the world, Africa are regarded as people that indulge in scam. Its very unfortunate and sad. We have highly credible and had working people here in my country.
This criminal activities abound in every where in the world conversely good business abound in my country.
Its must be noted that I have putting on everything within the ambit of my power to make this transaction come to its conclusive end successfully, so its annoying when you insinuate it?s a scam.
I am not only sad at the turn of event but infuriated, the complexity in this transaction is that some other officials are scrambling to divert the fund because of the long overdue forgetting everything have been concluded in your name, am sorry for the loophole in this regards, they are only trying to divert your attention its actually an excruciating experience also an embarrassing to an institution that was suppose to protect the very cause it was set up for. sincerely I feel terribly embarrassed to registered my apology for the safety of our negotiation and relationship, right now I am yet to overcome the anger seething through me as am totally disenchanted and demoralized.
Against this back drop I consider it foolishness to give up, as this is exactly what our detractors want. Finally, as regards to this foregoing I implore you have trust on me and do what you are suppose to do and leave the rest for me as all my personal data?s are with you, In the alternative I beg your cooperation to send to me power of authority changing your name and account as the legitimate and bona fide owner giving the power to any foreign partner who is willing to continue if the trust between us is no longer existing and I promised as soon as we conclude gloriously you will be compensate handsomely for the part you have played.
But if you can desist from your unnecessary skepticism, and delay I will be most intrigued to conclude with you.
Thanks as I look forward for your kindness cooperation to this request.
My best Regards,
Ade William.

A soapbox cut-n-paster. Deissman pursues.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

02 Aug 2003
Williams,

It is just as I thought.

You will not trust me with $3, yet you expect me to trust you with $8,000.

Showing yourself to be a person of no honor, the loss is entirely yours.

Deissman.

Williams, well out of position, tries to rally

ADE WILLIAMS

02 Aug 2003
Dear Kouba,
I must remind you that we are a good friend inspite of the distance and sometime we might have a misunderstanding,if when we are twins brother its usual but we must not do it to the extend of detreament of another, we have build up a relashionship for some months now and i have regards for the relationship but because of a little thing the trust is no longer there but we are still friend.
On my part i have explained to you to the best of my understanding but you are not convince, then i can not open my eye and see things going down the drain , this is why i have demanded for power of authority to change your name and the account so that i can conclude this arrangement with another partner and send you your compesation, i think i am not been wicked or harsh.
I wanted to conclude with you if only i can raise the fund or have a loan but this is not possible and time is runing fast, i beg your pardon address the request and i will compesate you as promised.
Finally, you must understand i have spent a lot of money on this arrangement and i can no longer force you as you have declined from your promise, please send me the power of authority to conlude or you can ask me anyother thing you want to very the genuiness of the transaction or send me the money.
I think you will understand and act as expected.
Regards,
William.

More pressure.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

02 Aug 2003
Williams,

You confirm you have no honor because you will not entrust to send me as a small matter of respect a tiny sum of money.

It is clear that you don't trust me. Thus, why should I trust you?

Do as I say, or you will destroy this complete business which we have worked so hard to complete.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

02 Aug 2003
Once again, i want you to be precise and tell me what exactly that i should send to you that will make you beleive this negotiation.
If I did not trust you i can not work with you and surmit all my personal information to you i am ready to work with you , but think of the condition you are putting me right now Mr. Alli call me today and almost insult me on phone as i do not know what to explain to him.
I am ready to conclude with you but i have spent almost what i have and the loan i took is almost bringing trouble to me, what do you need for more clearance that will make you believe me this time?.
You are putting everything on hold no money to collect the receipt and no power of authority from you, actually I am not too happy demanding for this because i wanted to prove a point to you and the genuity of this negotiation but how do i do it, time is running fast and we are facing a dangerous risk.
If you need more clarification i will send it to you as long its within my power.
Well i think you will understand my position right now. I will be happy to conclude with you, but i can not help the situation on the ground, the most urgly part of this is i have no telephone number for you and you refused to call me, why did you refuse to give me your phone number.
Well, If you want more details before you send the money let me know so that we can conclude together.
Thanks for your understanding and quick response.
I still respect our long time build relationship.
Regards,
William.

Following the Scambaiters' Manual, Deissman ignores the issues in the mail and sticks to his own agenda.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

02 Aug 2003
Williams,

As I have already said very clearly, the custom in my country is that of sharing gifts, and I have proposed that you make a token gift to me to cement our relationship.

Thus I propose that you take a 500-naira note (I have checked that this is about US$3) place it inside a Christmas or birthday card, place that inside an envelope and mail it to me at:

PO Box xxx
xxxxx Post Office
Singapore xxxxxx

When I receive that tribute and ackowledgement of our mutual respect, I shall immediately release the funds to Mr Alli.

But if you will not make this small gesture of trust, our business cannot proceed.

Deissman.

---

ADE WILLIAMS

03 Aug 2003
Do you want this in naira denomination or dollars and what is the meaning of this? when with what i think you are trying something best knowing to you and i will be ready to comply, just tell me what exact denomination you want as long as that will surfice and will can conclude.
How long will it take to reach you? I think i have to put phone number as i will like to send it by express post and posibly put one of my pic. to enable you convince more, or you don't need it please specify everything you need ones and for all i am convince that will not be too much for me.
My Regards Still.
William.
Idiot. But is he going to send it?

KOUBA DEISSMAN

William,

I would prefer naira denomination, because as I say, this is only a token gift, an expression of mutual trust and regard.

I gain nothing -- I cannot spend or exchange naira here -- it is more like a souvenir of our doing business together.

If you send it express post it should arrive within three days.

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

4 Aug 2003
Dear Kouba,
i have sent my daughter to send you the request its still very funny, but as you said for mutual undestanding and regards as i have respect for this relationship.
[If he actually has a daughter she may write a book about it all, some day. She'll be the Maria Puzo of Nigeria.]

Its was send by EMS EXPRESS i do not know when it would arrive there do you want me to send the receipt to you by attachment do will need to wait untill you receive it, I am saying this as we are almost working behind time frame.
But if you still trust me you can send as soon as possible but if you want us to wait i can still wait untill you acknowledge the receipt.
I want to send to you with the card Memorandum of understanding between I and you but the Barrister for the document have not endorse its column.Its just an agreement for the sharing and investment as the case may be.
Await your response.
Thanks and my regards,
William.

He's sent it. O frabjous day. The patiant dog eat the fatest bone. Deissman is happy.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

4 Aug 2003
Dear Williams,

Success for our project is very near. As soon as I receive the envelope, I will forward the money to Alli by Western Union and then you must be ready to release the funds into my account.

I want to wrap this business up quickly, we have spent so long on it already.

By all means e-mail the receipt slip, that would be of great help.

Warm regards,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

Yet another unrelated fax scam arrives in Deissman's mail

KOUBA DEISSMAN

4 Aug 2003
Dear Williams,

I have received yet another fax from your country regarding people trying to be involved in our business.

I have enclosed the fax as an attachment - do you think it is Mr Alli playing games, the fax is again from Abuja.

I am becoming very annoyed by these buffons.

Deissman

Just filling in time for the card to arrive, really

ADE WILLIAMS

5 Aug 2003
Dear Kouba,
Its very difficult to know them there not in Abuja, and all the line they are giving to you is a mobile line and make things difficult to track them immediately but with time they will face the wrap of the law.
I will immediately send to you the receipt of the courier, would that survice as its the delay that is causing this problem. I think its wise we conclude now pending when you will receive the courier.
DO NOT IN ANYWAY COMMUNICATE WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT AN OFFICER IN THE FEDERAL CAPITAL TERRITORY ABUJA AND THAT IS THE HELM OF AFFAIRS HERE,MAY BE THEY HAVE COME ACROSS YOUR FILE IN ONE WAY AND WONDERED THAT THE FUND IS STILL THERE.
I would have made a suggestion to complete it as we do not know how long the courier will take its good to do it for fear of risk and jeopardy by this arrant and faceless men of the underworld.
When i will try and send the receipt to you later today.
Regards,
William.

A fax containing an MOU and an EMS slip arrive

KOUBA DEISSMAN

6 Aug 2003
Dear Williams,

I have now received more documents, specifically related to our business, from a person called Ayo Tokunbo.

Is this person known to you or is he yet another buffon trying to invade our business? This is becoming extremely tiresome.

Regards,

Kouba Deissman Jr.

It is clearly some more Williams-inspired nonsense, but let's make him confirm it.

ADE WILLIAMS

6 Aug 2003

Dear Kouba,
the receipt and the memorandum of understanding is from me i asked the Lawyer to send it to you, as i was out of office. please sign your column and send it back your me i also notified you on my last mail.
what is your decision now as regards to the money. do you want to wait untill you receive the parcel before sending the money?.
please try and let conclude before this men catch up another means.'
My regards to you,
William.

ADE WILLIAMS

7 Aug 2003

Dear Kouba,
In my most recent mail i informed you that i authorised Barrister Ayo Tokunbo a legal practitional and notary public to send to the copy of our transaction a copy of Memorandum of understanding and the courier receipt sent to you have you been able to print both out?.
Please sign the Memorandum and send my to me as without your endorsememet it would be complete.
How about the receipt?.
Olease let me read from you the position of things soonest.
My Regards,
William.

He doesn't need the fax, so why should I send it? Let's see if he will accept vaporfax.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

7 Aug 2003
Dear Williams,

I have signed and faxed back the MOU to the office fax number you gave me earlier.

I did not get the usual "Fax sent successfully" message on completion, so please get back to me and let me know if you have received the fax safely.

Regards,

Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

7 Aug 2003
Dear Kouba,
I have not receive any fax from you, i will prefer you send it by attachment so that i can get the real picture and it will look original as its personal to us.
My office number for other purpose is +234 - 52 - 601963.
I hope you also received the receipt of the courier what is your plan ?
do we wait untill you receive the courier before proceed.
My regards,
William.

I really can't believe this fellow's stupidity -- he doesn't need the fax for any purpose so why is he insisting I send it? Why not just pretend it arrived? Is he one of those scammers who get so wrapped up in his little world that he believes it to be true?

ADE WILLIAMS

10 Aug
Dear Kouba,
i have not read anything from you have you received the card?please sign M.O.U and send my copy to me and let me read from you the state of things.
Regards,
William.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

12 Aug
Dear Williams,
I apologize for the delay in returning the MOU - I enclose it as an attachment to this mail as you suggested.
I have not received the card yet, I expect it will arrive in the next couple of days, no need to worry, the international post here is often slow.
Regards,
Deissman.

BABATUNDA ALLI

To: Kouba Deissman
11 Aug
What is going on? and what about the passport i sent to you, what are you doing with it?.
I need to read from you today as regards the ballance of the risk i have taken in giving document to Mr William.
Its absolutely wrong if you do not know the procedure here, i want to read from you soon so that i know what exactly i should do.
Mr Alli.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

12 Aug
Dear Mr Alli,
You do not need to do anything at this stage.
When I send the $8,000 to Abuja, you will have to take your passport to the Western Union office in order to claim the money.
The staff at the WU office will match the passport you show them with the details you have sent to me to make sure you are the correct recipient.
This is a simple and secure transfer method.
All you have to do is wait.
Deissman.

ADE WILLIAMS

13 Aug
Hello Deissman, Its terribly disappoi
nting that I have not read from you all this while, have you not receive the courier, what about the receipt I sent to you, also can all this stop you in sending back the memorandum of understanding after endorsement.
I must reiterate to you that you are not encouraging me as a friend in a far neighborhood frankly speaking I am trying to work with you by faith believing you can handle this negotiation diligently with trust worthiness, but this conceptions of you and lukewarm ness is embarrassing.
Mr. Alli have made many insinuation remarks to me by calls and otherwise, what do you think I have to tell him, well, I will keep my fingers cross and wait for your action, but always consider my position and condition presently in bid to satisfy you transparently I have followed all your instruction and conditions.
Finally, let me know if you have receive the courier and endeavor to sign and return my copy of M.O.U.
Until I read from you have a nice day.
William.

KOUBA DEISSMAN

14 Aug
Dear Williams,
If you would read my e-mails before replying, it would be a great help and stop us wasting a lot of time.
I wrote to you yesterday as follows:
1/ I have not received anything in the mail
2/ I sent back, via attachment, the signed MOU.

Which part of this did you not understand, it should have been clear to a 5-year old child. Perhaps you can find a 5-year-old child there to explain it to you?

Get a grip on yourself, this is not a small child's play but an important business.
And stop wasting my time.
Deissman.

I wish the bloody money would arrive, but that's probably what he's saying, too

ADE WILLIAMS

14 Aug
If i have receive such mail i would not have send my to you, i have not receive such mail.
The last mail i received from you was when you said you have sent fax to my office and i do reply immediately also giving the number again.
So resend the the attachment and check with your post office why the delay you have the track number and the whole receipt.
My Regards,
William.

It's arrived! An attractive A4-sized card, appropriately titled 'Just To Say Congratulations'. The note itself isn't much, a shabby sort of purplish color, with a pic of Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe (1904-1996), no doubt murdered by lunatics. [We thought the picture pretty ourselves. Oh well. Some people are hard to please.] But the envelope cost N5040 to send, which is over US$40. He's gonna be pissed when I tll him. And him writing with a charming typed message inside the card, which reads:

ADE WILLIAMS

(Received 14 Aug)
Dear Kouba,

As requested I have regards for our relationship, and wish you happy day and longtime relationship.

I wanted to attach the memorandum of understanding with this but the endorsement have vot been made. I will send it by attachment as soon as its completed. You shall endorse it and send my copy back.

What is the weather condition in Singapore? and what type of good import business that is there. is there any market for Africa food sturff, like yam, oil, and local groundnout oil. what is your local production and posibility of importation from to Africa.

Hope to see you very soon.

I will appreciate quick acknowledgment of this card congratulation inadvance.

My Regards to you.

Mr Ade William.







This should be the end to the perfect scam. It is certainly the end of Phase 1. I might pursue some other angles with Mr Ade Williams before signing him off permanent. There are other, much tougher scammers out there I should be focussing on. Who knows?


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