"KATTING AROUND",
a Drama

updated March 2 2007


[thanks National Park Service!]		 CAST (in order of appearance):

PETER MOMOUR - Barrister
MORRIS D. KATT - Bachelor Javelina farmer
GARFIELD A. KATT - Morris's Brother, also a bachelor Javelina farmer
VANDRESSI MAMABON - Bank guy

and then --
FRITZ T. KATT - You got it, a bachelor javelina farmer

and introducing...
ALEXANDRA CHUKWUMA - Imaginary Protocol Officer-Lad, receiver of the fees
NDUBUISI OHANAGOROM - Imaginary Personal Secretary-Lad, receiver of the gifts
OBADIEGWU FRANK - another secretary

and in April:
OLEMBE PIUS - "paying centre" Lad
RHODA ADAMS - Global security company

and then -
GANOU IBRAHIM - desperate final(?) alter ego

and in Dec. 2006!
CAPT. WILSON FEDERICK - "United Nations" Lad
BRIDGET HORN - "Director international audit united nation" Lad, who might be MR IKELIE CHUKWU or someone using that name

and in Feb. 2007!
HUGH JARDON - the Katts' lawyer
PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [81.91.233.6]
Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2004 19:22:34
From: "peterlgwe8" <peterlgwe8@jumpy.it>
Subject: QUICKLY/REPLY

PETER MOMOUR & CO. CHAMBERS
(ATTORNEYS & COUNSELORS AT LAW)
06 BP 1409 AKPAKPA DODOMEY,
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.

Attn: My Dear,

Compliments, I barrister peter have decided to bestow this trust on you, which I pray you will not ignore or betray. I appologise in advance for any inconviniences this may cause you.

I am Barrister Peter Momour the Personal Attorney to late Mr. George M. William, who was a contractor here in Benin Rep. And on the 3rd of Oct 2000, my client, and his family were perished in a ghostly car accident along Midombo Togo express way. As a matter of fact, my client made a fixed dopsit Amount, valued at (USD$10.7M) with Legend Trust Bank here in Cotonou Benin Rep, and upon the maturity time of their agreement, his bank started contacting him but no response. Conseqently, the bank issued me a notice to provide the next of kin to the deceased as his personal attorney, or have his account confiscated after four years, as it is in the law of this country.

Since then, I have made several contacts to His Countries Embassy in order to locate any of my clients extended relatives, which had also been unsuccessful. Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over two years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since none of his relatives were no way to be found so that the proceeds of this account valued at $10.7m could be transffered into your account, thereafter, we will both share it in percentage according to our contributions to boost the success of this great transaction. I have all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up all the claims we will make.

I know that you might be wonder why I have decided to trust you with this huge sum, but the truth is that I need you to get this money out and considering the fact that you are a foreigner which makes it a lot easier and straight forward.

All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us make this great benefiting transaction successfully. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me as fast as possible to enable us discuss further the progress of this business.

With best regards,

Hon: Peter Momour Esq,
Senior advocate of Benin (SAB).

(~sigh~ Here we go again...)

MORRIS D. KATT

I am very interested in your proposal. Could you please elaborate for me the details?

I cannot respond using my employer's mail account. Should I get another?

Please reply soon.

Morris D. Katt

MORRIS D. KATT

Here is my new mail account. Let's please use this. xxxxxx@xxx.xxx

Morris D. Katt

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [81.199.80.162]
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 13:06:56
Subject: Details information.

My Dear Friend Morris D. Katt,

I am in due receipt of your urgent response mail and the content therein were well understood.

Before I proceed further, I will like to thank you so much for your willingness and readiness to co-operate with the retrieve this legacy payment left behind by my late client than allowing the government of this country to forfeit it. I believed it is a life time opportunity which every reasonable human-being will never allow to slip by. I am Advocate (Barrister) and a solicitor at law and a human right activist here in Benin. I have held the post of secretary in Justice Minister in the time past.

Reference to your mail. First of all, may I assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free. I also reassured you that all necessary precautions and arrangements has been successfully put in place for the take-off of this transaction, I will also protect and guide you against any breach of law in the course of this transaction for our mutual benefits. All I needed is your sincere co-operation and assistance to present you to the Bank as the next of kin to my deceased client.

For the take-off, furnish me with your direct telephone and fax and mobile numbers for easy, oral and constant communication. Also needed is your full names and address to enable me prepare some legal documents in your name which will back up this transaction. And also put you in a position of bonafide next of kin to the deceased and I will submit them to this bank on your behalf for the release of the legacy payment to you as the next of kin to the deceased.

Please call me immediately on my direct line 229-60-50-11 for more clarifications about this transaction of mutual benefits.

Thanks and God bless you.

My regards to your family,

Peter Momour Esq.

MORRIS D. KATT

Peter Momour:

You write:

"...government of this country to forfeit it..."

How is it possible for your government to forfeit something it does not own? To "FORFEIT" means to relinquish without any dispute.

To return to the matter, my full name is: Morris Desmond Katt

My address is: Odie Javalina Farms, 333 Jonathon Lane, Comicks, Arizona

Telephone: 602 765 888

Morris D. Katt

(I purposely left off the last digit of the phone-number--(Oh, I'm so bad) Anyway, it's a "Live Phone-Sex" chatline.
Later this morning, I send another mail, this one introducing my brother...)

MORRIS D. KATT

Peter Momour:

I was telling my brother Garfield about this business venture of yours, and he is very interested in participating also.

It is nearly impossible to keep anything to myself, we live here on our Javalina farm in Arizona, and like me, he is not married (we are "bachelors" in our mid-50s) He is a hardworking man and very trustworthy.

I hope this is acceptable.

Morris Katt

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [81.91.233.6]
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 01:48:00
Subject: I have submitted an application of claim.

My Dear Brother Morris,

How are you today? Together with your family? I hope all is well with you all? As we are alright here.

I received the information you sent and I thank you and your brother Garfield so much for your willingness and readiness to assist me execute this transaction of a great profits.

However, I have used your name in securing some vital documents to back up our claim and to prove you the original next of kin to my late client.

Please I have submitted an application of our claim to the Bank so try to inform me immediately you receive the payment approval from the Bank.

Thanks and God bless.

My regards to your family,

Peter Momour Esq.

N/B: The number you sent is not correct/complete so kindly resend your telephone number for easy communication.

(Don't ask me why. He sends the same mail 24 minutes later, but I won't bore you with it...)

Received: from [81.91.233.6]
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 02:12:20

(So we have to reply...)

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Peter Momour:

You write of family, which always makes me sad--you see, Garfield and I are the only members remaining of our family. There used to be 7 of us (counting our mother) but after our father skipped out for parts unknown (he always was a bit of a "tomcat", I fear), the others were adopted when they were just babies. Our mother died many years ago, after being run over by a truck.

We are the only "family" we have. Please don't speak of "family" again, the reference will be met with a blank stare.

We had not heard anything from you in a week's time, frankly, we thought you had forgot about us, so we are surprised to get this mail from you this morning.

You say the bank will contact us, they should be sure it is by e-mail, which is much easier for us to communicate. We can check e-mail from time to time, but are hardly ever near the phone. Our Javelina herd is growing, and it is molting time, so our farming chores last from early morning to late night, with only a few "breaks" for a quick meal, or a cat-nap. E-mail is better. We hope this will be all right.

Best regards, Garfield A.and Morris D.Katt

('naz note: By the way, a Javelina is the Collared Peccary, native to the Southwest (Arizona, New Mexico and Texas) known for its pig-like appearance, love of cacti, and bad temper--no doubt acquired after centuries of being mistaken for a pig--which, come to think of it, makes a good deal of sense. (It doesn't molt, of course).

"...The collared peccary resembles a wild boar but is unrelated to pigs. It has a heavily built body covered with coarse hair, a heavy snout, and a distinct collar of light-colored hair around the neck. These animals are common in the southern desert regions of Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, where they frequent the shrubby areas and canyons. They favour the saguaro-paloverde regions and mixed shrub grassland. They roam the desert in loose groups of 8 to 12 (but up to 30) individuals, each group being led by an older sow. They are territorial.

The favorite food is prickly pear and other fleshy cacti - they eat vast amounts of prickly pear pads and are undeterred by the spines. They also dig up roots and bulbs..."

Enough of this biology lesson. Back to the Scam-at-hand)

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [195.166.241.250]
Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004 00:44:45

Subject: Re: I have submitted an application of our claim to the Bank for payment approval of the fund.

My Brothers Garfield A. and Morris D. Katt,

I received your mail and I am so sorry about what happened to you and your brother in the past. However, I know God want to use this transaction to compensate you people for the sufferings you have been facing in the past.

Please for me to know more about the people I am dealing with, I will like you to answer me the below questions. How old are you? Have people married? What do you do for living? I will also need your pictures for me to know the kind of people I am handling this great project with.

Thanks and God bless.

My regards,

Peter Esq.

(And this, sent twice. From the same 'puter...)

VANDRESSI MAMABON

Received: from [195.166.241.250]
Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004 02:27:14
From: "GTB GTB" <f_o_d_gtb_benrep@mail2world.com>
Subject: YOU ARE EXPECTED TO ANSWER WITHIN 48 HRS.

GLOBAL TRUST BANK (GTB)
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.
TEL: +229-980-632 FAX: +229-204-014
ATTN: MORRIS DESMOND KATT,
SIR/MADAM,
WE HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR APPLICATION BEEN SUBMITTED TO THIS OFFICE BY YOUR COUSIN'S ATTORNEY AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO OUR LATE CUSTOMER MR. GEORGE M. WILLIAM. YOU ARE EXPECTED TO ANSWER THE BELOW QUESTION'S TO ENABLE US KNOW YOU ARE THE RIGHT BENEFICAIRY TO THIS FUND.
*****************************************************************************
THE OFFICIAL BANK QUESTIONNIER
*****************************************************************************

1. WHAT IS THE NAME OF OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER?
2. WHICH COUNTRY IS HE FROM?
3. WHO ARE YOU TO HIM?
4. WHAT DATE AND YEAR DID HE DIED AND WHAT LEAD TO HIS DEATH?
5. WHAT IS HIS WORK HERE?
6. DOES HE HAVE ANY FIRM HERE?
7. IF YES, WHAT IS THE NAME? ( IS THE FIRM STILL EXISTS?)
8. WHAT KIND OF ACCOUNT WAS HE OPERATING WITH THIS BANK?
9. WAS HE MARRIED?
10. IF YES WHAT IS THE WIFE'S NAME?
11. WHAT IS THE SECRET CODE OF THE ACCOUNT?
12. STATE CLEARLY HIS RESDENTIAL ADDRESS HERE IN COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN?

YOU ARE EXPECTED TO ANSWER ALL THIS QUESTION'S IN DETAILS WITHIN 48HOURS.
THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MR. VANDRESSI MAMABON
DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.(GTB),
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.
N/B: YOU SHOULD ALSO INCLUDE YOUR BANK INFORMATION/DETAILS WHERE THE FUND WILL BE TRANSFER INTO IF YOU ARE CONFIRM THE ORIGINAL BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND.

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Peter:

We received this question sheet, and we don't know any of the answers. We aren't sure, but this might kill the deal.

Can you help with any of the answers, or should we just make them up, which would be easy for them to discover our deception?

Garfield and Morris Katt

(Oops! A little mistake...)

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [195.166.241.250]

Date: Wed, 20 Oct 2004 04:24:15

Subject: Re: I have submitted an application of our claim to the Bank for payment approval of the fund.

I did not receive any questions, where is the questions they sent you? And also try to answer my own questions and send the one you received from Bank let me know if it is something I will visit the Bank for or to handle it myself.

Thanks and God bless.

Regards,

Peter Esq.

(So I sent the letter again, and the questionnaire...)

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Peter:

We received this question sheet:

"...SIR/MADAM, WE HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR APPLICATION BEEN SUBMITTED TO THIS OFFICE BY YOUR COUSIN'S ATTORNEY...

(...yadda yadda...)

...YOU ARE CONFIRM THE ORIGINAL BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND.

Garfield and Morris Katt

(This AM, answers to the 'questionnier' (sic) arrive, he must be new at this, he doesn't realize that you only have to hit "SEND" once)

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [195.166.241.250]

Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 03:54:49

Subject: Re: I have submitted an application of our claim to the Bank for payment approval of the fund.

My Dear Brothers Garfield & Morris Katt,

I just received your mail, and I thank God that the Bank have finally contact you for the payment.

Below is the answers to the official questionnier of the Bank.

Please you have to fill it clearly and don't do any mistake that will lead to cancellation because this questionnier will determine our success in this claim. If you have a problem in filling it you can call me on phone. After sending it today you email me or you call me on phone.

Best regards,

Peter Momour Esq.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

ANSWERS.

(1) HIS NAME IS MR. GEORGE M. WILLIAM ( HE WAS 70YRS BEFORE HIS DEATH)
(2) HE IS FROM UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ( HALF AMERICAN HALF INDIAN)
(3) I AM HIS NEXT OF KIN .
(4) HE DIED ON 3RD OF OCTOBER 2000, THROUGH CAR ACCIDENT.
(5). HE IS A CONTRACTOR
(6). YES SIR HE HAS A FIRM IN YOUR COUNTRY.
(7). THE NAME OF HIS FIRM IS STE WILLIAM SARL, EXPORT AND IMPORT COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN. THIS FIRM NO LONGER EXISTS.
(8). HE IS OPERATING A DEPOSIT ACCOUNT WITH YOUR BANK AND THE ACCOUNT NUMBER IS $286-41732-55.
(9). YES SIR, HE WAS MARRIED.
(10). HIS WIFE'S NAME WAS MRS. BARBARA WILLIAM (SHE DIED TOGETHER WITH HER HUSBAND).
(11) THE SECRET CODE OF THE ACCOUNT IS : BARBAREXO.
(12). HIS RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS IS 288 PATRICE LUMUMBA AVENUE COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX



(And the "grease-the-palms-of-the-civil-servants-pitch" (Peter's gettin' greedy real quick!) also sent twice...)

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [195.166.241.250]
Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 03:58:23

Subject: PLease send some gifts to the Bank for smooth and safety transaction.

My Brothers Garfield & Morris Katt,

I am happy for this development because these questions will confirm you the original beneficiary to the fund, and I want you to send some gifts to the Bank so that they will be happy with you and that will also make our transaction smooth and safety one, because all civil servants always value gifts from friends and well wishers. You should write the Bank and tell them that you so much happy and appreciate their concerns about your claim to transfer your inheritance fund into your nominated bank account and you will like to send them some gifts, so they should give you an address where you can send the gift.

And I will like you to send them just GSM/Mobile handsets and Wrist Watches I believe they will so much appreciate that too. They are two senior staff in the Foreign Operation Dept their.

Please do this and it will help us a lot in this project, don't mind what it will cost you just keep records of it as an expenses and we will deduct it from the total fund before the sharing and investment plans when I come over to your country.

Thanks and God bless as I am looking forward to hear from you soon. You should also put greetings card in the gift package for them.

My regards to your family,

Peter Momour Esq.

(I'll reply to the first, but ignore the greedy one...)

MORRIS D. KATT

To: VANDRESSI MAMABON:

HERE IS THE INFORMATION YOU WANTED ON THE QUESTIONNAIRE

1. WHAT IS THE NAME OF OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER? GEORGE M. WILLIAM
2. WHICH COUNTRY IS HE FROM? UNITED STATES
3. WHO ARE YOU TO HIM? NEXT OF KIN
4. WHAT DATE AND YEAR DID HE DIED AND WHAT LEAD TO HIS DEATH? OCTOBER 3, 2000, AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT
5. WHAT IS HIS WORK HERE? CONTRACTOR
6. DOES HE HAVE ANY FIRM HERE? YES
7. IF YES, WHAT IS THE NAME? ( IS THE FIRM STILL EXISTS?) STE WILLIAM SARL, EXPORT AND IMPORT, COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN THIS FIRM NO LONGER EXISTS
8. WHAT KIND OF ACCOUNT WAS HE OPERATING WITH THIS BANK? DEPOSIT ACCOUNT 9. WAS HE MARRIED? YES
10. IF YES WHAT IS THE WIFE'S NAME? BARBARA WILLIAM
11. WHAT IS THE SECRET CODE OF THE ACCOUNT? BARBAREXO
12. STATE CLEARLY HIS RESDENTIAL ADDRESS HERE IN COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN? 288 PATRICE LUMUMBA AVENUE COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.

We hope this is sufficient.

Garfield and Morris Katt

The important bank letter. This one is sent 4 times...

VANDRESSI MAMBON

Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2004 06:13:09 (06:13:15) (06:13:19) (06:13:22)
X-Originating-Ip: 195.166.241.250
Subject: CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY OWNERSHIP FEE.

GLOBAL TRUST BANK (GTB)
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.
STATUTORY CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY OWNERSHIP FEE.

ATTN: GARFIELD & MORRIS KATT,

BE INFORMED THAT THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS AFTER RECEIVING YOUR REPLY TO OUR OFFICIAL QUESTION HAS AGREED TO TRANSFER THE FUND INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT AND WE COULD HAVE WIRED YOUR INHERITANCE FUND THIS MORNING BUT THE ACCOUNT OF YOUR COUSIN IS DORMANT SO WE ARE GOING TO OPEN A NEW FILE ON YOUR NAME AS NON RESIDENTIAL ACCOUNT OR TO RE-ACTIVATE THE DORMANT ACCOUNT BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE.

MEANWILE, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY A REFUNDABLE FEE OF US$820. (EIGHT HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS ONLY) TO PROCESS THE CHANGING OF BENEFICIARY OWNERSHIP ON YOUR NAME OR TO RE-ACTIVATE THE DORMANT ACCOUNT OF YOUR COUSIN FOR SMOOTH AND SAFETY TRANSACTION.

AS MATTER OF URGENCY YOU SHOULD WIRE THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER TODAY IN THE NAME OF OUR PROTOCOL OFFICER ""MR. ALEXANDRA CHUKWUMA"" COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC SO THAT WE CAN HAVE IT SAME DAY YOU SEND IT, AND SENDING THE MONEY THROUGH AN ACCOUNT FROM YOUR COUNTRY WILL LAST MORE THAN 10 WORKING DAYS BEFORE IT CAN CLEAR HERE BUT SENDING OUT FROM HERE WILL LAST FOR ONLY 48 HOURS TO CONFIRM IN ANY ACCOUNT.

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS AND THE CHOICE IS YOURS ON HOW YOU CAN SEND THE MONEY FOR QUICKER OPERATION.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

MR. VANDRESSI MAMABON
DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.(GTB),
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Vandressi Mamabon:

We are afraid we can't get into town today as you suggest in your mail of this morning, so as to wire you the $820.00 for the transfer fees, etc.

We apologize for the delay, but our regular time to go to town is usually on the weekend, as we have to buy supplies for our farm, and the weekly meeting of our club, "The Caterwauls Singing Troupe". We entertain for the townspeople, usually at outdoor events.

We hope this explanation will be acceptable, since we live some distance from town, we have to schedule our errands efficiently. Besides, it is a very busy time at our farm, and our chores are many.

Thank you for your consideration.
Garfield and Morris Katt

Oh, happy day!!! Fritz T. Katt has returned to the hearth!

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Peter Momour:

We am sorry for the delay in replying to your mail from yesterday, but we had a wonderful surprise! that has had us on "Cloud 9" and we are still so excited about this.

Do you remember I told you about our family's sad troubles, Father running away, Mother getting hit by a truck and run over, and our brothers and sisters having to be adopted out as babies? Well, OUR YOUNGEST BROTHER CAME HOME!!

Fritz, our littlest brother, was adopted by a family, and when he became a young man, he fell in with some rather shady fellows, and turned to a life of fast-living and dangerous dealings. He was hanging around with some movie-people, and even starred in a movie, (but I'm afraid it was of the "adult" variety, almost porn, really) and after making a good deal of money, he retired to the Catskills, and became a gigolo. He lived "La Dolce Vita" ("The Good Life") for many years, as the companion of some pretty rich ladies.

Finally, his movie money and his looks ran out, and he wandered back to us. Instead of punishing him for his mistakes, we welcomed him back with open arms! We are so happy that our Fritz is back with us!

We will be going into town this weekend, we have to get supplies for the farm, and we have been directed by Vandressi Mamabon (at the Bank) to wire him the transfer fees that are required by his bank so the deal can be done. We've talked about your suggestion that we get some gifts for the Bank people involved in this deal, and we've decided that there is enough money in our account to cover that, too.

With all the brands of GSM handsets (not to mention ALL the brands of wristwatches!!) that are on the market, what do you think would be appropriate? We sure don't want to overspend, but we don't want to insult anybody, either!

Write back as soon as you get this, if that is possible.

Thanks, Garfield, Morris, (and now, Fritz) Katt

Anyone remember the X-Rated cartoon "Fritz The Cat" from the 70's? Quite shocking, and as I recall, very funny!

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [81.91.233.6]
Date: Sat, 23 Oct 2004 01:23:44
Subject: Re: CHANGE OF BENEFICIARY OWNERSHIP FEE.

THEN TRY AND SEND THE MONEY THIS WEEKEND WHEN YOU ARE IN TOWN SO THAT WE CAN PROCESS THE ACCOUNT ON MONDAY AND TRANSFER YOUR INHERITANCE FUND. DON'T FORGET TO SEND YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THE FUND SHOULD BE TRANSFER INTO.

SEND TO US MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBERS AS SOON AS YOU WIRE THE MONEY IN THE NAME OF MR. ALEXANDRA CHUKWUMA.

MORRIS D. KATT

Peter Momour:

We am still waiting for you to let us know what kinds of GSM sets and wristwatches to buy as gifts.

We are going to town this afternoon to take care of this business, and we could buy the gifts then. Otherwise, the banking officers would have to wait for their gifts until after the transfer. Maybe this would be all right, they could consider the items as "thank you" gifts.

If we do not hear from you by the time we leave the farm, we will assume this to be satisfactory.

Garfield, Morris and Fritz Katt

He sends this one twice (as usual)...

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [81.91.233.6]
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 08:32:12
Subject: Re: PLease send some gifts to the Bank for smooth and safety transaction.

I just received this mail, so what have you send to them as the gifts? I suggested you to buy them just Cell Phones and good wrist watches. Have you send them the re-activation fee? That is the most important because without the re-activation the transfer will not take place.

I am so much happy that your younger brother is back. Please let me know of the latest development concerning the payments.

Thanks and God bless.

My regards,
Peter Esq.

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Peter Momour:

What kind of cell phones? What kind of wristwatches? You are very unclear on this.

We do not want to appear cheap, but we don't want to spend too much money, either.

We have had to postpone our trip to town until tomorrow. There was a problem with the molting machine, and we couldn't go into town Saturday, as we usually do. It will have to be tomorrow. We can't wait to introduce our brother Fritz to our friends in Comicks.

Garfield, Fritz and Morris Katt

A little problem...

THE KATT BROTHERS

Peter:

There is no address for us to send the gifts. Is this a mistake on your part, or should Vandressi Mamabon have provided the address?

Please reply as soon as you can. As I wrote in my earlier mail, we are planning to go to town for supplies tomorrow (Tuesday) and can purchase the gifts then.

Garfield, Fritz and Morris

Another Lad joins the party...

Thursday morning another Lad is mentioned. This, (sent twice, of course...)

VANDRESSI MAMABON

Received: from [195.166.241.250]
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 01:25:47
Subject: Re: No address

GLOBAL TRUST BANK (G.T.B).
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.

ATTN: GARFIELD, FRITZ, & MORRIS KATT.

THIS OFFICE WRITES TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR LETTER, AND WE THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR KINDNESS AND APPRECIATION TO SEND US THE GIFT.

PLEASE SEND THE GIFT THROUGH MY PERSONAL SECRETARY AS I HAVE NO CHANCE TO GO AND PICK IT UP HERE WHEN IT ARRIVES:

C/O ""MR. NDUBUISI OHANAGOROM""
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.
TEL: 229=980=632

N/B: SEND THE GIFTS THROUGH FEDEX COURIER SERVICES (FEDERAL EXPRESS) AND SEND TO US THE AIR WAY BILL CONFIRMATION RECEIPT AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE GIFTS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS.

YOURS FAITHIFULLY,

MR. VANDERESSI MAMABON.
DIRECTOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT (G.T.B),
CTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.

N/B: SEND THE GIFT THROUGH MY PERSONAL SECRETARY "" MR. NDUBUISI OHANAGOROM "" WITH ABOVE MENTIONED TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT HE CAN GO AND PICK IT IN THE FEDEX OFFICE HERE AS SOON AS IT ARRIVES, BUT SEND TO US THE AIR WAY BILL RECEIPT FOR EASY COLLECTION.

The Katt brothers, naive as kittens...

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Vandressi Mamabon,

We don't understand what you mean by this:

N/B: SEND THE GIFTS THROUGH FEDEX COURIER SERVICES (FEDERAL EXPRESS) AND SEND TO US THE AIR WAY BILL CONFIRMATION RECEIPT AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE GIFTS.

N/B: SEND THE GIFT THROUGH MY PERSONAL SECRETARY "" MR. NDUBUISI OHANAGOROM "" WITH ABOVE MENTIONED TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT HE CAN GO AND PICK IT IN THE FEDEX OFFICE HERE AS SOON AS IT ARRIVES, BUT SEND TO US THE AIR WAY BILL RECEIPT FOR EASY COLLECTION.

How can we send you something when we do not have an address for you? We understand that the gifts we plan to send may be in care of FedEX, and be received through the local office there. What do you mean, "Send us the Airway Bill Confirmation receipt?"

Should that go through FedEX too? How does that work?

Garfield, Fritz and Morris

 Apparently, the Lad doesn't work on weekends,--I thought maybe he got wise to the bait, as I didn't hear from him for 2 days. But, lo and behold! I get mail Monday morning, neither can he spell his name, nor can he remember the amount of the fees--it changes again. He sends this three times...

VANDRESSI MAMABON

Received: from [81.91.233.6]
Date: Mon, 1 Nov 2004 03:00:11 (03:00:35) (03:00:58)
Subject: Re: No address

GLOBAL TRUST BANK (G.T.B).
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.

ATTN: GARFIELD, FRITZ, & MORRIS KATT.

SIR,

WHAT I MEAN BY THE AIR WAY BILL CONFIRMATION RECEIPT IS THAT THERE WILL BE A NUMBER ON THE RECEIPT THE FEDEX COURIER WILL ISSUE YOU WHEN YOU POST THE PACKAGE, THEN THIS NUMBER IS WHAT I WILL USE IN TRACKING THE PACKAGE AND KNOW WHEN IT WILL ARRIVE HERE FOR "" MR. NDUBUISI OHANAGOROM "" TO GO AND PICK IT IN THE FEDEX LOCAL OFFICE HERE WITH THE NUMBER ALSO.

YOU DON'T NEED AN ADDRESS TO SEND THINGS FROM THE FEDEX BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO AND GET THE PACKAGE FROM THEIR BRANCH HERE. JUST SCAN AND SEND THE AIR WAY BILL CONFIRMATION RECEIPT OR YOU SEND TO ME THE TRACKING NUMBER ON THE RECEIPT AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE GIFT? PLEASE SEND THE RE-ACTIVATION FEE OF $780 TO WIRE YOUR INHERITANCE.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS.

YOURS FAITHIFULLY,

MR. VANDERESSI MAMABON.
DIRECTOR FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT (G.T.B),
CTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Vandressi Mamabon,

Last week, the amount you stated for reactivation of the account was $820.00.

Now, you say it is $780.00, $40 less. Which is it?

We've put the gifts in a shipping container, and they are ready to be sent. We will go back into town this afternoon, and send them with the account reactivation fees, when we receive word from you as to the correct amount. Is it all right to send the money with the gifts to Mdubuisi Ohanagorom? Should the money go to Chukwuma? At this point, we don't want to confuse the deal.

Things are not as busy here as they have been in the past 2 weeks, so we can make the trip into town for this errand.

We hope you will reply today, because we are anxious to get this thing settled.

Garfield, Fritz and Morris

VANDRESSI MAMABON

Received: from [195.166.241.250]
Date: Tue, 2 Nov 2004 00:13:01

The $780. is the refundable fee for re-activation and the $40. is stamp duty so the total fee is $820. and $780. is refundable.

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Vandressi Mamabon,

Thank you for clearing up the confusion. It is just as well that we got this explanation today, as we had planned to go into town anyway, to vote.

Election Day is always an exciting day, don't you agree?

We will visit the FedEx office to mail the gifts and the payment of $820.00 after we vote. It will be good to see our old friend Anthony T. Iger, who runs the whole show there. Anthony (Tony) had been in the advertising game for many years, until a bout of sugar poisoning laid him low, and he had to find another job. He still does some work for some cereal people, but not like he used to. He's been a Comicks mainstay for quite a few years, running the FedEx office very efficiently. He's a GRREAT guy!

As soon as we return home from town, we will write with the information about the FedEx shipment to Ndubuisi Ohanagoron.

Garfield, Fritz and Morris Katt

Can I stall this out another day? Sharpen your claws and stay tuned... your fiend, raynaz

I guess it's over. This bounced...

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Vandressi Mamabon,

What happened to you? We wrote to you last week that we would be going into town to send the gift package and the money for the fees to you, and we certainly expected a reply. When we didn't hear a reply from you, we decided that you are not serious with this business.

Somebody has to stay with the herd today, so I will remain here at the farm, but my brother Garfield went into Comicks this morning to retrieve the money, and he will take care of getting the money we paid out for the GSMs and the watches refunded.

I'm really sorry you didn't do us the courtesy to reply to our mail last week. I guess if that is the kind of businessman you are, it is just as well for us not to be involved with you.

Disappointed in you, I am Morris D. Katt

This really was fun... actually, as Tony T. Iger says, "It's GRRR-R-R-REAT!!!" your fiend, raynaz

Nothing for a week, and then, like magic...

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [62.0.29.153]
Date: Tue, 9 Nov 2004 00:09:50
From: cbng frd <cbng_frd@yahoo.com>
Subject: What has happened to you?

DEAR MORRIS D KATT

I THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL,AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN FASTING AND BECAUSE OF IT I FAIL ILL AND I WAS HOSPITALISED FOR SOME TIME.I AM VERY SORRY THAT YOU WROTE ME BUT I DID NOT REPLY YOU IN TIME.

PLEASE NOTE THAT LIFE IS UPS AND DOWN FOR ONE TODAY AND IT WILL NOT BE FOR EVER.I THERE FOR BEG YOU TO FORGIVE ME AND RESEND THE GIFTS ITEMS TO THE NAME BELOW
MUKOLU CHARLES IKEZUE,
NO5 VICTORIA ST.OFF OGUDU ROAD,
OJOTA LAGOS NIGERIA

MAKE THE PAYMENT TRUE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, THROUGH MY NEW ACCOUNTANT CLERK NAME BELOW.
IBE JOHN
LAGOS NIGERIA.

TRY TO SEND THE PAYMENT SLIP TO ME TODAY.

THIS IS MY NEW EMAIL ADDRESS DO NOT WRITE ME AGAIN IN MY FORMAL ADDRESS.

I HOPE TO RECEIVE ALL THE ABOVED BY TODAY.
THANKS
PETER MOMOUR
PETERMOMOURCHAMBERS

Well, THAT deserves a rather indignant reply...

THE KATT BROTHERS

We are sorry to hear that you have fallen ill because of fasting. Perhaps you should eat more food, so as to keep up your strength. You should probably abandon the practice of "fasting", if it lands you in the hospital, it is not a healthy thing to do.

As a barrister, you should know that you can't conduct much business from a hosptial bed.

We have discussed this business of yours, and we have decided that since we went to the trouble of ordering and purchasingthe GSMs and the wristwatches, and then returning them a few days later, we simply can't buy them again and send them to your man in Lagos! The people at the store will think we have lost our minds, buying items, returning them a week later, then buying them again. We have to live and do business here, and what will that suggest to people, if we keep running into town and buying gifts for banking people, and then return the gifts? I'll tell you what they will think--our friends will think that we can't make decisions and keep our word--our reputation here will be tarnished, maybe beyond repair!

You must forget about any gifts. They are history. We won't be buying any more gifts for your banking people.

If your man Mamabon requires fees for this transaction to be concluded, he will have to just wait until the weekend, when we go into town again for supplies. That's the best we will do.

Garfield, Fritz and Morris Katt

('naz note: Just when you think the Lad(s) have given up, they surprise ya!)

...more to come? Stay tuned, your fiend, raynaz

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [62.0.29.153]
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2004 08:52:16
From: cbng frd <<bng_frd@yahoo.com>
Subject: PLEASE I WAIT TO HEAR FREOM YOU AS YOU SAID

DEAR Garfield, Fritz and Morris Katt

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL PLEASE I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU PEOPLE AS YOU SAID BY THE WEEKEND PLEASE KINDLY ACT FAST.
MAKE THE PAYMENT TRUE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, THROUGH MY NEW ACCOUNTANT CLERK NAME BELOW.
IBE JOHN
LAGOS NIGERIA.
TRY TO SEND THE PAYMENT SLIP TO ME TODAY. I HOPE TO RECEIVE ALL THE ABOVED BY TODAY.
THANKS
PETER MOMOUR
PETERMOMOURCHAMBERS

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Peter Momour,

Why are you sending me mail that has just arrived, when my brothers have just left this farm for our nearby town? Didn't we tell you that we are farmers who are very busy at this time of year, and we have chores to do before we can go into town for supplies. The javelinas won't milk themselves, you know!!

Are you in that big a hurry to get the money? Why can't you wait until you hear from us? What is the big urgency? Do you have some pressing financial matters that require the money in such a rush?

Morris T. Katt

('naz note: I wonder should I pull the plug? NAAAAAAAAAAA-H-H-H-H-H!!!)
...your fiend, raynaz
THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Peter Momour,

I have somebad news to tell you. I am just back from the hospital, where my brothers were taken on Saturday afternoon, and where I have been for many hours. Remember I told you that Garfield and Fritzhad just goneinto town on Saturday to take care of this business and send the fees to your accountant John Ibe?

I guess Garfield was driving our old Cougar, (which we nicknamed "The Kattmobile") and started to cough (the doctor thinks it may have been "Aballahair"). The details are very unclear as to what happened onthe highway,but they ended up in a very bad car accident. Both of my brothers were very badly injured, but they were not found for several hours. Fritz was thrown from the car, and unfortunately he landed on his feet, but the force of the landing was enough to break his back. He won't ever be able to arch his back again.

Garfield is still in very critical condition, and they are quite sure he will die. I am so distraught, I can barely see to type this mail to you!

I must rest a little, tend to the chores, then return to the hospital to see my brothers.

Morris

... and then in 2005 ...

...After nearly 2 months, the good Barrister writes again! Apparently, he still wants to give us some scratch (pardon me...I just couldn't resist punning you!)

PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [81.199.80.162]
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 06:09:39
Subject: God has done it for me.

Dear Garfield, Fritz and Morris,

I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from paraguay. Presently I'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. meanwhile, I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

Now contact my secretary, his name is Mr. Obadiegwu Frank, obadiegwufrank@yahoo.com ask him to send you the total $800.000.00 which I kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with my secretary Mr. Obadiegwu and instruct him where to send the amount to you.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the suffer ness at that time. in the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand, finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to the secretary on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with Obadiegwu Frank and he will send the amount to you without any delay.

you can call him on 00229 79 01 59

With best regards,

Peter Momour Esq.

Well, I just HAVE to respond...

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Barrister Peter Momour, What a surprise to hear from you! We thought you had abandoned us, when you ceased correspondence with us.

So much has happened, after their accident, Garfield and Fritz were hospitalized for several weeks. Fritz was more seriously injured, it turns out. He is still in the Rehabilitation center, he is gaining strength and he will walk again soon.

Garfield was in very critical condition, the doctors all thought he would probably die, in fact, his heart stopped twice in the first week, but a miracle happened! That is the only way I can describe it, he came out of it totally! He ended up with only a few bruises, and a broken tooth. He has been resting a little more than he used to, but otherwise is in remarkably good shape.

By all means, do send the money forthwith. We sure need it to pay medical bills.

If you remember, our full names are:

Morris D, Garfield A, and Fritz T. Katt

Our address is: Odie Javalina Farms, 333 Jonathon Lane, Comicks, Arizona

Wishing you the best in this new year, we remain, Garfield, Fritz and Morris Katt

('naz note: more to come? It appears so...)
PETER MOMOUR

Received: from [213.209.161.164]
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005
Subject: Re: God has done it for me.

I thank God for their lives, contact my secretary to send you the cheque.

THE KATT BROTHERS

to the secretary:

Dear Sir:

We have been directed by Barrister Peter Momour to contact you, regarding a cheque you hold, which is to be compensation to us for a business transaction.

The amount of the cheque is $800,000.00. Please remit the money to us, in the form of a certified cashier's check. This check must be drawn on a known financial institution, so that we will have no trouble converting it to our use.

Thank you, Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt

our address:

Odie Javalina Farms
333 Jonathan Lane
Comicks, Arizona 88914 USA

...more of "the (seemingly) unending saga"...

And here comes Obadiegwu Frank!

OBADIEGWU FRANK

Received: from [213.209.161.164]
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 10:22:41
From: Obadiegwu Frank <obadiegwufrank@yahoo.com>
Subject: urgent.

Dear Morris Katt,
Your email well received since I have been expecting to hear from you.

Anyway, my boss left a cashier cheque of $800,000,00, which I was instructed to send to you as soon as you request for it. Currently the cheque is here with me in Benin Republic and I will mail the cheque to you from here as soon as we arranged for the mailing process.

And for your information you are to bear the cost of mailing the cheque to you, which is going to cost you $320,00 (Three Hundred And Twenty Dollars Only) as the cheque will be mail via diplomatic courier service, and my boss does not left any money for the mailing of the cheque.

So, it's left for you to forward your mailing address and also send the money so that I can be able to mail the cheque to the address you will send, and you can call me on +229 79 01 59

Thanks and remain blessed.

Waiting for your urgent reply.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Obadiegwu Frank. N/B: Send the money in my name Mr. Obadiegwu Frank Cotonou Republic of Benin through Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram for quicker collection.

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Obadiegwu Frank,

The amount you stated seems to be very high, just to mail a check! In your mail, you stated that you would mail the check. The cost of postage couldn't be more than a dollar, so just put the check into an envelope, address the envelope with our names and address:

Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt
Odie Javalina Farms 333 Jonathan Lane,
Comicks, Arizona 88914 USA

Then put a stamp on the envelope (or take the envelope with the check inside down to the local Post Office, and have the clerk do it for you), and mail it to us. Simple as that. We should have our money within a few days.

Thank you, Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt

OBADIEGWU FRANK

Received: from [213.209.161.164]
Date: Thu, 13 Jan 2005 06:30:00
Subject: Spam Alert: Re: urgent.

The cheque is certified Bank cheque and it will be insured with an insurance company before sending it through diplomatic courier company. So if you don't have the money now you can wait for my boss to come back here and send it to you by himself.

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Obadiegwu Frank,

It's not that we "don't have the money now", the question we want an answer to is, why does it cost so much to have a small item mailed from your office to us? That is a reasonable question. Why can't you answer it to our satisfaction? Are you some little puppet who can't provide any information unless somebody tells him what to say? Perhaps we should deal with your superior, if that is the case.

We have the money. It's not if we are paupers, you know!

Just answer the question. And, while you're at it, just WHEN will we have the money in our hands?

Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt

still going in April 2005

sent this out on Friday, 4Feb, but he didn't respond...

THE KATT BROTHERS

Mr. Obadiegwu Frank,

My brothers and I are wondering if your employer, Peter Momour, has returned from Paraguay? We received mail from him a few weeks ago, where he stated that he was there for some business.

Since we had so little cooperation from you, we thought it would be better to deal with Mr. Momour. He has always been very accommodating and polite to us, where you have not.

Will you please ask him to contact us, so that we can finally put an end to this matter? We are still interested in his transaction, but we have inadvertently deleted his e-mail address. You are our only way to contact him, and even though we feel uncomfortable with your attitude, we think you should have Mr. Momour write to us.

Garfield, Fritz and Morris Katt

Well, when ya don't hear from a Lad for two months, ya figure he's history. But, sure enough, he comes back--he sends this twice, an hour and a half apart. If nothing else,the Lads are persistant, (sorta)...

RHODA ADAMS

X-Originating-Ip: 81.91.233.8

From: "glo basic" <glo_basic_company@whoever.com>
To: Garfield Katt
Date: Wed, 13 Apr 2005 03:19:28 (and again at: 13 Apr 2005 05:00:00) Subject: Inheritance fund

GLOBAL BASIC COMPANY
COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
104 KOUTONGBE ROAD COTONOU
TEL:00229-727-990-FAX:00229-698-70012
EMAIL:glo_basic_company@whoeverl.com
Motto:Honest&sefty

Attn :Garfield

Be informed that this office has waited for you enough to come and pick up your Inheritance fund that was deposited in our care here in Benin. The sum of $800.000 United State dollars was deposited on your favourite,

This huge sum of $800.000 was deposited by Barrister Peter momour .On the date 14/11/2004. And he dropped your contacts information's with us. Since then we don't heard from you or any of your relation.

Noted that you have only seven working days to comply with us or We will divert this huge sum of $800.000 direct to the Account of Federal Government Of Benin Republic.
Be inform that after this given date you will lost this payment and will not have anyone to blame because you was informed before taking any action.

In any case if you are still interested to have your inheritance fund feel free to contact our paying centre attention Mr.Olembe
Pius/Email;olembepius1@yahoo.co./Tel.00229-727-990
Be warned

Yours urgency matters.

Mrs.Rhoda Adams
Global Basic Company
Cotonou Benin Republic

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Madam:

Of course we are still interested in Barrister Momour's deposit! We have been waiting to hear from him since he went to Paraguay a few months ago, but when we asked his secretary to have Momour contact us, his man Obadiegwu Frank did not see fit todo so. (Personally, we are of the opinion that this Obadiegwu fellow is just another incompetant lackey, who sits on his fat buttocks all day and drinks gin when his employer is out trying to conduct business).

Perhaps a word or two from you will convince Barrister Momour to get rid of Obadiegwu and hire somebody who can at least deliver a message!

We will contact this Olembe Pius immediately and try to get this business back on track.

Thank you for themail, and the advice.

Morris, Garfield and Fritz Katt

And a quick little note to the new player...

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Olembe Pius,

We have been advised to contact you, for the transfer of funds amounting to $800,000from Peter Momour to us.

Will youlet us know as soon as possible, what is the proper procedure for this?

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Morris, Fritz and Garfield Katt

More to come? Gee, We hope so...

[And there was!]

RHODA ADAMS

Your mail was received and the contents was well noted.
God must see us through over the matter.just contuine praying.
How is life first with hope fine.
We need all your datas mean where the money will be transfer into.

Khoda Adams

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Khoda,

In your first mail, you signed "Rhoda Adams", so we thought your name was "Rhoda". Now you sign as "Khoda"! Which is it?

We do not understand much of your mail, except the first line.

God must see us through over the matter.just contuine praying. I don't know what we are supposed to be praying about, but we always continue praying, especially for our herd of Javalinas. Now that we are beginning the mating season,the little boogers get mighty peculiar, let me tell you! We even found one in the pringles vat, (how he got in there in the first place,is a mystery), but he sure was mad when we finally pulled him out by the tail!

How is life first with hope fine. Our lives are pretty good, thought our younger brother has had more than his share of problems in the past few weeks. It seems that his latest escapade with the wife of our cousin, Tom Katt, resulted in some minor scrapes and bruises, but he seems to be healing OK. Sometimes, I think the fellow has 9 lives!

We need all your datas mean where the money will be transfer into.Do you mean our bank information? or do you just want to send a bank check to our home (that would seem to be the easiest way) In any event, our address is:

Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt
Odie Javalina Farms
333 Jonathan Lane, Comicks, Arizona 88914 USA

Then put the check into an envelope, put a stamp on the envelope (or it down to the local Post Office, and have the clerk do it for you), and mail it to us. Simple as that. We should have our money within a few days.

Thanks a lot,
Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt

...(note the IP address)...

OLEMBE PIUS

Received: from [81.91.233.8]
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005 09:52:59
From: olembe pius <olembepius1@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: YOUR ATTENTION NEEDED IN OUR OFFICE RIGHT NOW

ATTN.GARFIELD

MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALL THE DAY OF YOUR LIFE.

WELL BARRISTER PETER MOMOUR HE TRAVELLED OUT OF THIS COUNTRY SINCE LAST YEAR AND DEPOSITED SUM OF$800.000 TO COMPASETE YOU FOR ALL YOUR EFFORT THAT YOU HAS MAKE .HE DROP YOUR CONTACT WITH US HERE BUT WE DID;NT HEARD FROM YOU ALL LONG I HOPE FINE WITH YOU .

YOUR INFORMATION IS NEEDED INTO THIS VERY OFFICE TO ENABLE US SETTLE THE MATTER .

MR.OLEMBE PIUS
GLOBAL BASIC COMPANY

~sigh~

THE KATT BROTHERS

We responded to your representative, then contacted you immediately.

We asked you to provide the procedure for obtaining the funds.

What more do you want?

Morris, Fritz and Garfield Katt
RHODA ADAMS

X-Originating-Ip: 213.209.161.164
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005

ATTN.MORRIS

THANK VERY MUCH TO CONTACTED US TODAY WE ARE EXITED TO HEARD FROM YOU .FOR POINT OF CORRECTION MY NAME IS RHODA ADAMS IAM A WOMAN I SUPPOSE TO CALL YOU ON PHONE BUT I HAS EARS PROBLEM.
HOW WAS LIFE TOGETHER WITH YOUR HEALTH I HOPE THINGS MOVED FIND .
WE DON.T KNOW HOW FASTER YOU NEED THE FUND AND THE PARCEL WILL DELIVER FOR YOU IMMEDIATELY YOU SEND TO US SUM OF $540. THE MONEY WAS FOR KEPT THE CHEQUE.AND FOR THE OTHER HAND WE NEED YOUR PICTURE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHTY PERSON BARRISTER PATRICK TOLD TO SEND THE FUND TO.$540 WAS THE MONEY YOU WILL PAY BEFORE RECEIVE THE CHEQUE DRAFT. WE GLOBAL BASIC COMPANY .WE WILL RELEASE THE MONEY IMMEDIATELY YOU SEND US SUM OF $540 THIS IS FOR KEPT THE CHEQUE. AND DEMURRAGE SECURITY FEES OF KEPT THIS CHEQUE DRAFT UNDER OUR CARE.PLEASE BEAR WITH US I DON.T THINK YOU WILL HAVE THIS VERY FUND WITH OUT THIS FEES

I. OUR OFFICIALS FEES FOR KEPT THE CHEQUE IS $220
2. TO DELIVER THE CHEQUE DRAFT INTO YOUR DOOR STEP $110
3. CUSTOM DUTY $120
4. POLICE CERTIFICATE.S $90

TOTAL..540

PLEASE WE LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR FROM YOU .

YOU CAN SEND IT TODAY BECAUSE OUR FLIGHT MOVING EVERY FRIDAY OF THE WEEK .AND CONFIRM YOUR ADDRESS IMMEDIATELY BOTH YOUR HOME ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT GLOBAL SERVISE TO DROP YOUR PARCEL.

SEND THE MONEY THROUGH THIS NAME...MR OBELUO AUGUSTINE

COUNTRY...BENIN REPUBLIC...CITY...COTONOU

AND MAKE SURE YOU FORWARD THE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRACKING NUMBER/TEST QUESTION. ANSWER

THANK

BEST REGARDS
RHODA ADAMS
GLOBAL BASIC COMPANY

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Rhoda Adams,

Who is Barrister PATRICK? We were originally dealing with a Barrister Peter Momour, but this new fellow "Patrick" has us confused. Please clear this up for us.

Why do we have to pay for a POLICE CERTIFICATE? What is that?

Why $220 for holding a check for a few months? It's not like you're storing a houseful of furniture, you know!

To deliver the check INTO my doorstep? Why not INTO our mailbox?

What is "Custom Duty"? That's the first we've ever heard of such a thing. $120 to send something out of your country through Customs? That's ridiculous!!! You're getting hosed, Rhoda Adams.

Put the darn thing in an envelope, lick a stamp and mail it!. How simple is that????????????????????????

We've been waiting for months on this deal, and we're just about at the end of our patience with your outfit.

Morris, Fritz, and Garfield Katt

OLEMBE PIUS

Received: from [81.91.233.8]
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2005
Subject: Re: Inheritance fund

ATTN.
MORRIS
OUR DIPLOMATS WILL LEAVE HERE ON MONDAY MORNING TO DELIVER YOUR BOX .
SO REMEBER IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THE MONEY PLEASE SEND US OUR BALANCE
THANKS
AND KEEP US INFORM.
OLEMBE PIUS
GLOBAL BASIC COMPANY BENIN REPUBLIC.

THE KATT BROTHERS

Olembe Pius,

We don't understand your mail which we received this morning, and we aren't sure of how much money to send, or when to send it, or to whom? We've been quoted so many different amounts, some a few hundred dollars, some a few thousand dollars.

You state: "...IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THE MONEY PLEASE SEND US OUR BALANCE..."

Does this mean that you will send us a check for $800,000, then we will send you the fees involved? Would you send it to our home, or wire transfer it to our bank--that would be difficult, as you don't have the banking address, or the account numbers--but you do have our home address:

Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt
Odie Javalina Farms
333 Jonathan Lane, Comicks, Arizona 88914 USA

...and then we should send whatever monies you demand? After you send us the $800K, what's to prevent us from just cheating you? Would you come over here and demand payment? Would you just chalk it off as an expense of doing business? What??

This seems to us to be a rather slip-shod way of doing business, but we understand that the ways of your country are different from ours, and we shouldn't try to judge your bank's methods by the ones we are familiar with. Please let us know how we should continue.

And while you're at it, we'd like a full breakdown of the fees. And none of this "police certificate" nonsense, either. That is just bogus, and you know it.

THANKS

Fritz, Garfield, and Morris Katt

('naz note: This reply to Olembe bounced. "Account deactivated"--are we surprised? Will we hear from the Lads again? stay tuned...)

OLEMBE PIUS

Received: from [213.209.161.164]
Date: Fri, 22 Apr 2005
From: olembe pius <olembepius1@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: URGENT REPLY

ATTN;MORRIS

WE RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL IN RECEIPT OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT WHICH IS ABOUT TO DELIVER BY GLOBAL BASIC INSURANCE COMPANY.WE ARE IN RECEIPT TO DELIVER YOUR BOX THIS WEEK OUR DIPLOMAT/AGENT WILL LEAVE THIS COUNTRY ON MONDAY NEXT WEEK FOR HIS TRIP IN UNITED STATE OF AMERICA.WHICH YOUR CONSIGNMENT IS AMONG THE LOADS WE HAVE TO DELIVER.
MEANSWHILE,BEFORE THIS DATE YOU ARE ADVICE TO SEND US YOUR CONTACTS INFORMATIONS AS FOLLOWING.

1,YOUR FULL NAME:.........
2,HOME ADDRESS:...........
3,TELEPHONE NUMBER:.......
4,A COPY OF YOUR PICTURE.
5,OFFICE TELEPHONE:.....
6,THE NEAREST AIRPORT TO YOUR HOME.

THIS REQUIRED INFOS ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO US THIS WILL ENABLE OUR DIPLOMAT/AGENT TO LOCATE YOU IMMEDIATELY HE ARRIVED IN YOUR NEAREST AIRPORT.PLEASE DON'T FAIL TO FORWARD US THE REQUIRED INFORMATION TODAY BECAUSE WE HAVE ALREADY MADE THE ARRANGEMENT OF HIS TRIP TO YOUR COUNTRY AND WILL NOT ALLOW THE DIPLOMAT/AGENT TO COME ALONG WITH YOUR BOX WITHOUT THIS REQUIRED INFORMATIONS. YOUR PICTURE WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE AGENT WILL KNOW YOU ARE THE RIGHT PERSON HE WILL HAND THE BOX OVER TO.
HE WILL CALL YOUR HOUSE OR OFFICE IMMEDIATELY THEY ARRIVED IN YOUR STATE.
WE LOOK FORWARD TO CONFIRM THE REQUIRED INFOS.

THANKS
OLEMBE PIUS
DIRECTOR
GLOBAL BASIC INSURANCE COMPANY
TEL:00229-769-894

THE KATT BROTHERS

Yesterday, you sent this mail to us:

ATTN. MORRIS

OUR DIPLOMATS...yadda yadda...GLOBAL BASIC COMPANY BENIN REPUBLIC.

We answered with this reply:

Olembe Pius,

We don't ...same letter as before...That is just bogus, and you know it.

THANKS.

Fritz, Garfield, and Morris Katt

 However, the mail we sent was not delivered, your account, it seems was deactivated for some reason. Good thing you wrote today, so we can get this thing going again!

We will wait for a reply to this mail, so that we know our communications will go through.

Garfield, Fritz and Morris Katt
('naz note: He seems to think we're living with a woman named Hope Fine--she's probably a very nice Jewish lady, but hey, we're bachelors!!!) and he's sending his diplomatic to our home...)

OLEMBE PIUS

Received: from [81.91.233.8]
Date: Sat, 23 Apr 2005 08:54:35
Subject: URGENT REPLY

ATTN;MORRIS

REGARDS ON YOUR MAIL I RECEIVED THIS MORNING IN OUR OFFICE AM VERY MUCH HAPPY CONCERN THE MATTER ANY WAY.FIRST OF ALL?HOW IS LIFE WITH HOPE FINE. GLORY BE TO GOD ALMIGHTY.THE AMOUNT OUR DIPLOMATIC WILL DELIVER TO US HERE FROM YOU SHOULD BE $520 AFTER DELIVERING.AND I WANT TO MAKE YOU CLEAR THE AMOUNT OUR DIPLOMATIC ARE GOING TO YOU IS $800.000

OUR AGENT WILL DELIVER IT TO YOUR HOME

WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU NOW IS YOUR HOME ADDRESS PHONE NUMBER TO ENABLE OUR AGENT LOCATE YOU .PLEASE SEND IT RIGHT NOW.

THANK

MAY GOD BE WITH YOU

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Mr. Olembe Pius,

Here is our address, which we have given several times over the months this business has been ongoing. We gave it once to Rhoda Adams, and gave to YOU only 2 days ago, on Thursday:

Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt Odie Javalina Farms 333 Jonathan Lane,
Comicks, Arizona 88914 USA

When your man gets to our town, he should ask anybody for directions to our residence, everybody knows us.

Jonathan Lane is a main street, so there will be no problem (unless he should inadvertently bump into the town drunkard, "good old Charlie Brown" who's had bad feelings for us ever since the Lucy and Linus incident. The less said about that, the better!!)

We thought it was going to be in the form of a check, but now you mention a "box"--are we now to assume that the $800,000 is in cash, and is contained in a shipping crate? Highly inconvenient, since a wire transfer would have sufficed nicely, and taken such a short time to do.

Let's not waste any more time, Mr. Pius. Have your man deliver the goods to us at once.

Thanks,
Morris, Fritz, and Garfield Katt

OLEMBE PIUS

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 19:17:23
Subject: URGENT REPLY

ATTN; MORRIS

THANK VERY MUCH REGARDS ON YOUR MAIL WE RECEIVED TODAY.YOUR PHONE NUMBER IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US WHEN OUR AGENT REACH YOUR COUNTRY ENABLE THEM TO CALL.

Maybe it's time to send the phone number--remember 'waaaaaaaay earlier in the saga, when I purposely left off the last number of the live-phone-sex chat line?I hope it's still working!--let's see if we can get good ole Olembe to call and ask for "Morris D. Katt" or "Garfield A. Katt"...

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Olembe Pius,

When your man gets to our area, he should be certain to ask for me, Morris D. Katt or my brother, Garfield A. Katt.

Our housekeeper might answer the phone, and she doesn't speak English very well, so your man should speak SLOWLY AND CLEARLY. This is very important.

Here is our phone number: 1-602-765-8888

We are very excited about this transaction, as we can definitely use all that money--$800,000 is a lot of money!!! It sure has taken a long time, but it looks like the conclusion is near.

Regards, Morris, Fritz and Garfield Katt

...and it just won't die...

Olembe Pius has been under the weather, but keeps trying. Morris gets the phone number mixed up a little. (I looked it up in the Area Code listings, and it appears to be in Florida) Who knows...

OLEMBE PIUS

Received: from [81.91.233.8] Mon, 9 May 2005

Subject: GOD BLESS

ATTN;MORRIS.
I WANT TO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN AND ALSO APOLOGISE KEPT SILENCE SINCE OVER A WEEKS AGO. I FAILD IN SICKNES BUT NOW AM RECOVERD.FIRST OF ALL HOW WAS LIFE WITH HOPE FINE.PLEASE NOT YOU BE SO ANGRY WITH ME.CALL OUR AGENT THEY NOW IN USA.HIS NAME DOMINIC WILSON.

CALL HIM RIGHT NOW WITH THIS PHONE NUMBER;1954-993-0849

DOMINIC WILSON OUR AGENT'S NAME.

REMAIN BLESS

OLEMBE PIUS.

[954 = Ft Lauderdale, FL, but who knows - you can get a cell phone number with any area code nowadays.]

THE KATT BROTHERS

Olembe Pius,

Sorry to read that you were ill, we trust it was nothing trivial. You want to stay healthy, so that we can finalize this transaction. It seems that this is taking forever!

You keep asking about "life with Hope Fine". We don't know who you are talking about. Do you have us confused with someone else? We are bachelor Javalina ranchers in Arizona, USA, and we do not live with a woman named "Hope Fine"--we don't know anybody named "Hope Fine". Does this clear things up for you?

We have had no luck contacting your man at the telephone number 1954-993-0948. We gave you our telephone number 1-602-765-8888, but we're hardly ever in the house. This is the molting and whelping season, so we are understandably very busy.

Your man was supposed to call us, to confirm delivery of the money. Wouldn't it be easier to just electronic transfer the cash into our account at the Comicks 2nd National Bank. When I asked Jan Itors, the bank manager, he said that is done all the time. Why would your man want to come all the way to Arizona to give us a large sum of money, then we have to drive into town and put it in the bank? That makes no sense. Maybe you should learn some new banking procedures.

Regards, Morris, Fritz, and Garfield Katt

Still at it!

 Nearly 2 weeks later, Olembe Pius writes again, (the last desperate gasp?) with dire warnings, threats, really poor spelling, and a blessing. And just in case I don't comprehend, he writes in French, too...

OLEMBE PIUS

TO BE INFORM YOU THAT WE HAS WAITED ENOUGH TIME AND WARNED YOU TO COME UP HERE aND PICK UP YOUR SUM OF $800.000 WHICH WAS DEPOSITED IN YOUR FAVOUR YESTERDAY AFTER OUR BOAD MEETING WE DECIDED FROM NOW TILL NEXT MONTH 19TH IF YOU NOT COMPLY WITH US TOGETHER SUM OF FEES WE CHARGES YOU THE VERY HUGE MOUNT WILL TRANSFER INTO FEDERAL GORVERNMENT OF BENIN REPUBLIC,AND YOU WILL NOT FINE ANYNOE TO BLAMING BECAUSE YOU HAVE BE WORNING FOR LONG,SO FEEL FREE TO CONTACT US TOGETHER WITH YOUR FEES IF YOU ARE STILL INTERESTED, AND YOU FAIL TO DO WHAT WE DECIDED NOW ON THE MANDATE ONFRONT YOU JUST FORGET ABOUT THE ISSUE OF HUGE AMOUNT AND BEAR IN MIND THAT ANY TIME THIS VERY HUGE OF AMOUNT WILL ENTER INTO FEDERAL ACCOUT TO RECOVER IT AGAIN WILL COST YOU A LOTS OF MONEY OR YOU LOOSE EVERYTHING,I CAN.T UNDERSTOOD HOW SOME ONE WILL DEPOSITED SUCH AMOUNT AND JUST YOU SEND FEES TO COLLECT IT YOU THINKING OTHGERWISE HURRY UP BEFORE THE TIME OR YOU LOOSE SIMPLY.
THANKS.
AND REMAIN BLESS.

MR.OLEMBE PIUS

POUR ÊTRE INFORMEZ-VOUS que QUE NOUS A ATTENDU ASSEZ DE TEMPS ET VOUS A AVERTI DE MONTER ICI ET DE PRENDRE VOTRE SOMME de $800.000 CE QUI A ÉTÉ DÉPOSÉ EN VOTRE FAVEUR HIER APRÈS NOTRE RÉUNION de BOAD NOUS A DÉCIDÉ DÈS MAINTENANT JUSQU'au mois PROCHAIN 19ÈME SI VOUS NE PAS SE CONFORMER À LA SOMME des USA ENSEMBLE D'HONORAIRES NOUS VOUS CHARGE que LE BċTI TRÈS ÉNORME TRANSFÉRERA DANS GORVERNMENT FÉDÉRAL DE LA RÉPUBLIQUE du BÉNIN, et VOUS N'AFFINEREZ PAS ANYNOE Ë BLÂMER PUISQUE VOUS AVEZ POUR ÊTRE WORNING POUR LONG, ainsi VOUS SENTEZ LIBRE POUR ENTRER EN CONTACT AVEC LES USA AINSI QUE VOS HONORAIRES SI VOUS ÊTES ENCORE INTÉRESSÉ, ET VOUS L'ÉCHOUER POUR VOUS FAIRE CE QUE NOUS AVONS DÉCIDÉ MAINTENANT SUR LE MANDAT ONFRONT OUBLIEZ JUSTE L'ISSUE DE CONSIDÉREZ QUE QUAND CECI TRÈS ÉNORME DE LA QUANTITÉ ENTRERA DANS ACCOUT FÉDÉRAL POUR LE RÉCUPÉRER ENCORE COÙTERA VOUS BEAUCOUP D'ARGENT OU VOUS LÂCHEMENT TOUT, I CAN.T COMPRIS COMMENT ENVIRON UNE VOLONTÉ A DÉPOSÉ UNE TELLE QUANTITÉ ET JUSTE VOUS ENVOIENT
DES HONORAIRES

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Mr. Olembe Pius,

The fact that we provided our telephone number SEVERAL TIMES, and you gave us a telephone number that does not work, and your representative can't be contacted, now you come to us with warnings that we will lose the funds that we have been waiting over 6 months to collect! It is YOU who cannot keep this thing together, never mind your obvious lack of spelling and typing skills! What kind of incompetent little toady are you? I'll bet you're just a low-paid little junior clerk, aren't you?

What is that funny language you write? Is that Russian? Are you a spy? We heard about spies, but we never thought we'd ever have direct contact with one. Are you with the KBG outfit? Are you going to try to capture us and torture us for government information? Rest assured, we don't have any government secrets.

All we know is that a few years ago, the Army came to us and asked permission to build a small shack on a little corner of our property. We can't get in to see what's inside, what with all the block-wall and barb-wire, and the soldier with a big gun, so we just leave it alone. Even the javalinas don't go up close, because the soldier shoots at them.

We think you are full of baloney. We sent you our address, and you even said that we could send your fees after we get the inheritance fund, so what's the problem? SEND THE MONEY, AND YOU WILL GET YOUR FEES.

Simple as that.

Morris, Garfield, and Fritz Katt

 [We were sure that was it. How much abuse can a poor scammer take? But then there was an update from the one and only, the Lord High Naz.

First, what looks like a completely different scam approach - ]

GANOU IBRAHIM

Received: from [81.91.233.8] Wed, 08 Jun 2005

From: "PRESIDENCY OF BENIN REPUBLIC" <presidency-of-benin@whoever.com>

FROM THE PRESIDENCY
BENIN (LIASON) OFFICE OF HIS EXCELLENCY
51 DUDU SQUARE, COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC
SPECIAL DEPARTMENT
INVESTIGATION ON ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL COMMISSION
E-MAIL:ganouibrahim@myway.com
Tel;22-57-63-21;Fax22-57-71-18
Date: 31/5/005,

FROM THE DESK OF: GANOU IBRAHIM

ATTN: BENEFICIARY.Morris, Fritz and Garfield Katt

RE: RELEASE OF YOUR OVERDUE PAYMENT
Following the recent broadcast of the president and commander in chief of armed forces of the federal republic of Benin during the visit of OUR PRESIDENT KEREKOU AND DESCOVER SOME FUNDS BEHIND, couple with recommendation and resolution of last visit of the president OF south Africa, total sum of $800.000.00 DOLLARS was deposited It has therefore become imperative for us to explore our options for payment to affordable and sustainable levels. On the order of the president as a mark of his reconciliation and image laundering exercise toward sanitizing the battered image of the federal republic of Benin abroad.To be aware of release of your funds in SWITZERLAND . notice before i give order to Dr.Johnson Peters the director of financial Bank SWITZERLAND . we demaneded $1.525 dollars because of the expenses we make before descoverd where your FUNDS was.Wiew the tracking numbers ¤001-83-208-71h code 11-36- but we can;t not give order to Dr.Johnson Peters E;mailjohnson-peters@zwallet.com unless you pay the fee.Send the fee through western union money transfer with THE name of one our cashier officer OMMELIKA EDEZUNUO.
I am GANOU IBRAHIM chairman investigation on economic & financial crime commission set up by the Federal Government of Benin The purpose of the committee among other is to investigate, contractors whose payment is overdue. dictatorship of Last regime, many abnormalities had happened in the central bank of Benin where some top officials of the Eco Bank collaborate with imposters and abandon them half way with levies and taxes. Consequently, we received a directive from the office of the president, ordering the above office to settle all genuine contractors whose debts has been outstanding for a long time now.
One of the reasons why your payment had to be delayed for so long was because; there was a counter claims for the payment of your funds by Mr. John Tsai and also the formal contract number that was issued to you has been used to pay other contractors, therefore anytime the contract number is place on the payment system for transfer it will indicate paid or used. Also, we will want to know if you sign any "Deed of Assignment" in favor of Mr. John Tsai, thereby making him the current beneficiary with the following account details: Account Name: xxxxxxxx Ltd, A/C #: xxxxxxxxxxxxx, Bank Name: Standard Chattered bank, xxxxxx, Central Hong Kong, Swift Code: xxxxxx.
if you did not authorize Mr. John Tsai to receive the payment on your behalf, kindly reconfirm to us in order to release your funds through SWITZERLAND financial Bank with the sum of $1.525, your genuine bank account details, to avoid making payment to a wrong person, attempt to divert your payment to a new account without your knowledge may have been done by your local representative with the assistance of some (CBB) Officials, of whom most of them have been dismissed and Some are presently being prosecuted under section 35A sub section 1-2-4 of the criminal code of Benin Republic while others have been declared wanted by the committee. This office is glad to inform you that your payment shall be made as soon as this information needed from you is submitted through telegraphic transfer or by international certified Bank draft.
THANKS
I am GANOU IBRAHIM chairman
investigation on economic & financial crime commission

[Benin is a hop skip and a jump from Nigeria, and they probably wish they weren't.]

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Sir,

Hope this isn't too late to respond to your mail of last week. My brothers and I have been out on the roundup, and just returned to the ranch late last night.

You should see the mountain of e-mail that accumulates in 2 weeks' time! It is just overwhelming! There were 895 mails! After going through them, we saw this one from you and will answer your mail first.

We have to go into town (Comicks, AZ) tomorrow, and can arrange for the $1,525 to be wired to your cashier officer OMMELIKA EDEZUNUO, if the offer is still on the table. Then you can transfer the funds to us immediately.

We hope this finds you in good health, and we sincerely hope we are not too late to receive our payment of $800,000.00

Thank you, Morris, Fritz, and Garfield Katt

GANOU IBRAHIM

Originating-Ip: 81.91.233.8 Wed, 15 Jun 2005
Subject: NOTICE BOARD MEETING

Date: 31/5/005,

FROM THE DESK OF: GANOU IBRAHIM
ATTN:BENEFICIARY.Morris, Fritz, and Garfield Katt

RELEASE OF YOUR OVERDUE PAYMENT
Following the recent broadcast of the president and commander in chief of armed forces of the federal republic of Benin during the visit of OUR PRESIDENT.The only thing you can do first tomorrow morning is just maintain your wards and also you have a good luck over this very urgent matters friday was the finally mandate we decided if not heard from you John Tsai of Hung Kong will pay the funds.Thanks for your luck day.

FROM THE DESK OF: GANOU IBRAHIM INVESTIGATION ON ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL COMMISSION

THE KATT BROTHERS

To GANOU IBRAHIM:

My brothers have just left for Comicks, and will arrange for your Western Union Transfer first thing, as soon as the office opens at 8AM.

They will call when they have finished, and I will send you the information you require to receive the $1,525.00. Then you will transfer the $800,000.00 to our bank account:

ODIE JAVELINA RANCH, INC.
c/o Morris D. Katt, Garfield A. Katt, Fritz T, Katt
Account number: 304957382764
Banking codeX: ORU12?YAS,IAM
3rd National State Bank of Comicks
914 S. Remmacs Road
Comicks, AZ USA, 88555

Our home/ranch address, once again:
Odie Javelina Farms
333 Jonathan Lane, Comicks, Arizona 88914 USA
1-602-765-8888

We are looking forward to finally completing this deal. It sure has taken a long time, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Morris D. Katt

('naz note: Of course, it's on the front of a train!)

GANOU IBRAHIM

Received: from [81.91.233.8] Mon, 20 Jun 2005

RELEASE OF YOUR OVERDUE PAYMENT
Following the recent broadcast of the president and commander in chief of armed forces of the federal republic of Benin,what is the mean of the promised and fail which stand on your way and it very bad omen,i thought before that you are reliable person whom can stand on his words. Federal Government of Benin Republic suppose to concel your payment last friday and because you mentioned that you going to make the payment since last friday ,what is actualy real going on,if you real needed the funds to released in your nominated account i give you 24 hour to send the fee.
Thanks
DR.GANOU IBRAHIM
INVESTIGATION ON ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL COMMISSION

THE KATT BROTHERS

Dear Sir,

After travelling into town on Friday to do errands, and specifically to wire money to your financial institution, my brothers Fritz and Garfield came home with an interesting bit of information.

It seems that our Western Union office is staffed by Mr. John E. Mopp and Mr. Clarence ("C") Lean, who asked them the reason for sending this amount of money to Africa, since we don't have any relatives there, and have never done any business there. A natural curiosity, as we usually do business with only local people, in the USA.

My brother Fritz, (not one to stay quiet on any matter involving money) popped up and told them that by making this payment, the sum of $800,000 would be ours in a few days. "Not a bad investment, eh, guys?" were Fritz's words. Garfield tried to shut him up, but Fritz "let the cat out of the bag", so to speak.

Immediately, Mr. Mopp produced a few pamphlets on the subject of "Advance Fee" frauds, and "419 Scams" and told us some frightening stories about people who have been swindled out of many hundreds, even thousands, of dollars. These scams have flourished because of the greed of many people, and the desire to get rich quick--but some people have been lured to Africa, kidnapped and held for ransom, and some unfortunates have been beaten, even killed! Fritz and Garfield were astonished at this.

Needless to say, they returned without sending you any money. This is why you have not heard from us. While we certainly could have used $800,000 in our ranching business, we now see that none of it was true.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact us again.

Morris D. Katt

GANOU IBRAHIM

Received: from [64.201.33.48]

Date: 31/5/005,
RELEASE OF YOUR OVERDUE PAYMENT
Following the recent broadcast of the president and commander in chief of armed forces of the federal republic of Benin.You people in America needed protect,because here in Benin Republic we have arrested 25 people in our country who fight to corrupt other,View those people we arrested 2 weeks ago.Peter Chinedu,EMMANUEL FAVOUR, RHODA ADAMS,JIMMY NSUKA,Olembe Pius,Frank Obadigwu,GABREL Morris,Alex chukwuma,Sandral mike,UDOH TURNER,ALEX CHIDOZIE,SADER GUA,Ranker ROGERS ,RUTH DADA,LAWREANCE CHIDOZIE,THEY ARE MANYS of then BUT I WILL STOP HERE,What i want to tell you people in the worlds is to becarefull about what is going around the corner,In the other way to avoid mistake, if you people are ready to receive the funds reply to me because it was cost alots of problems,if you people are not ready to send the fee in other to wire the funds into you account, better mail us right away,point of correction before federal Government started this very INVESTIGATION the have reason,because victim want to take over our country,we are going to finished those people that arrested,only one thing i need from you right now,if you people still needed the funds reply this mail immediately,to finlize the matters amicable,beacuse time is 2 late,and i know have 2 much time to wast.we are doing our jobs here to get those people who is involed for this victim,in our country.
Thanks

DR.GANOU IBRAHIM

INVESTIGATION ON ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL COMMISSION

THE KATT BROTHERS

Sir:

You tell us that "several people" have been arrested by you and your cohorts, and expect us to believe that you are the GOOD guys? We don't believe you for one minute!

We're on to you and your scam. We've been on to you from the first mail we received from a "Barrister Peter Momour" we knew you were a 419-scammer. We get at least 10 different kinds of scam-letters every month! Do you think we are so greedy and gullible that we will fall for your little fraud? How stupid you are! We were just playing along with you, to see how long you would try to get money from us. Nearly 9 months--quite a record, I'm proud that I have been able to string you along like a fish, always promising, never delivering. That's how I have my fun, trying to get you to hang on to empty promises. And you always play right into my hands. YOU are the greedy one!

You are so stupid that you don't even read over your mails before you send them, and correct the strange spelling and idiotic grammar! Did you fail school, or were you just playing games when the teacher was trying to put knowledge into your thick head? Go back to school--anybody who uses such poor spelling and bad grammar needs to go back to 4th grade!

OH! Before I forget, you are NOT corresponding with 3 brothers, Morris, Fritz and Garfield Katt. You are corresponding with a WOMAN who has had you dancing on a string like a puppet for more than 8 months! How does that make you feel, that a WOMAN makes jest of you??

You are a big fool, little man. I hope you bragged to all your scamming buddies that some brothers in USA are going to send you $1,525.00--well, now you will be embarrassed to tell them that YOU have been conned! I laugh at you, and I dance on your disappointment. Be rest assured, I have had fun!

Like they say in the big city, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thanks for all the great laughs. You're quite a guy---you ARE pretending to be ALL those people who have contacted "us" over the months--Momour, Mamabon, Chukwuma, Ohanagorom, Obadiegwu, Rhoda Adams, Pius, and now Ganou Ibrahim! It must keep you very busy thinking up all those names, little man!

Get a REAL job, you fraudster!

TA TA for now.

So OVER, wouldn't you say? But they're baaaack in December 2006!

After a year and a half, I (well, actually Morris D. Katt) got mail from a "bank" in Benin, referring to the $800,000 payment that should have been paid to the Katt brothers, in the saga, "Kool for Katts"! Believe it or not, they haven't given up! So "I"'m getting forgetful, and "I" decided to play along.

Anyway, I had to respond, and here's the transcript of the correspondence so far... I thought the Lads had me pegged, but bright'n'early Tuesday morning, I got mail...

CAPT.WILSON FEDERICK

Received: from [81.91.227.2]
Date: Tue, 5 Dec 2006

(INTERNATIONAL FUNDS TRANSFER DEPARTMENT)

(WORLD BANK ASSISTED PROGRAMME)
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONALPAYMENT AND TRANSFERS.
870 UNITED NATIONS B PLAZA 20-A NEW YORK NY
10017WIRE TRANSFER/AUDIT UNITED NATION

Our Ref: WB/NF/UN/XX027WIRE TRANSFER/AUDIT UNIT

Attn: Garfield A.and Morris D.Katt

RE:IRREVOCABLE RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT

We have actually been authorized by the presidency,Federal Republic of Benin and the Governing board Central bank Republic of Benin to investigate the unnecessary delay of your payment Volue $800,000,00, recommended and approve your claims for payment if certified as genuine.

During the course of our investigation, we discovered with dismay that your payment has been unnecessarily delayed by corrupt officials of the Bank who are trying to divert your money into their private accounts, to forestall this, security for your funds was organized in the form of your personal identification number (PIN) and your transfer access code (T.A.C),

This will enable only you have direct control over this fund, we have also agreed with the presidency that we will handle this payment ourselves to avoid the hopeless situation created by the officials of the Central bank of Benin.

We obtained anirrevocable payment guarantee on your payment from the presidency we are happy to inform you that based on our recommendation, instructions.Your entire Inheritance/Contract fund has been credited in your favour through our overseas paying Bank.

You are therefore advised to contact Mrs Bridget Horn International Audit unit United Nations Liaison Office Federal Republic of Benin on Tel+229-93-806-289 or Email :mrsbridgethorn@rediffmail.com to collect your original payment slip with your pin and transfer access code.

As soon as you submit these codes and your payment slip to your bank they will credit your account without delay. Note you are advised to furnish Mrs,Bridget Horn the details listed below to avoid transfer of this fund into a wrong person.

1) Your full name.
2) Phone, fax and mobile #.
3) Company name, position and address.
4) Profession, age andmarital status.

Be noted to you that the above information will enable her get your original payment slip and identification number (PIN) and also your transfer access code (T.A.C)As soon as this information is received.We expect your urgent response to this email to enable us monitor this payment effectively.

CAPT.WILSON FEDERICK

UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK.

~sigh~ gotta reply...

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Sir:

I must say, your message takes me by surprise. I have no recollection of any $800,000 fund in my name, or any of my brothers' names! I admit, my memory is not what it used to be, but I would surely remember such an amount of money!

Are you certain that you are contacting the correct Morris D. Katt? I am a bachelor farmer from Oklahoma, I live with my 4 brothers and my elderly uncle.

Please, if it is not too much trouble, could you educate me about this matter?

I would like to hear from you as soon as possible. Thank you.

Morris Desmond Katt

and a short note to "Mrs. Horn"

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Mrs. Bridget Horn,

I wrote to Captain Wilson Frederick, his message took me by surprise. I don't recall an $800,000 fund in my name, or any of my brothers' names! I admit, my memory is not what it used to be, but I would surely remember such a large amount of money! If we had any dealings in this matter in the past, I don't remember the circumstances.

Are you certain that you have the correct Morris D. Katt? I am a bachelor farmer from Oklahoma, I live with my 4 brothers and my elderly uncle. Up until last year, we had a javelina ranch in Arizona, but now we raise a very special variety of Japanese Okra, which isn't as exciting as raising javelinas, but it is more in keeping with our lifestyle, we are getting on in years.

If it is not too much trouble, could you please set me straight about this matter?

I would like to hear from you as soon as possible. Thank you.

Morris Desmond Katt

I hear from "Mrs. Horn", (or Mr?... Take your pick) with the LONGEST 'subject' line I've ever seen...

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.213])
Date: 6 Dec 2006

Subject: Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn Director international audit united nation Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

Attention,Morris Desmond Katt
Instrument payment irrevocable account (pin code) Transfer Access Code and Payment slip),We have acknowledgement the receipt of telfax application form from you above payment,volue amount $800,000,00
First and foremost I have to commend you for your reply. My word is that all must be well and my utmost concernis to see that all the government owed foreign contractors receive his or her payments in due course.
you should require to follows those items to obtain the original personal Identification number (PIN),Transfer Access Code and Payment Slip,which you will take to your Banker to enable them,confirm the money for you.
to send these documents through ( DHL) Overnight Express would cost sum of $380,00,but,; Normally delivery is sum of $170,00,

(FEDEX) Overnight Express also $350,00,Normally delivery $150,00,

(GLOBAL MAX COURIER COMPANY) $300,00, Overnight Express,Normally delivery $165,00,
(UPS) Overnight Express $340,00, Normally delivery $180,00,

and you should advise to send any of your choice through the listed price right now in order to sorlt things out immediately.
The trust is that, without the provision of the PIN,TAC and Payment Slip, your Banker will not disclose the access of the money to you and it is due to this sincario that makes it complusory and mandatory that, you must obtain those documents from my office here .

so,you can have access to your money or you can come down here by yourself to pick it up.info list below here to wire the funds to,pls,send the money via money gram for security purpose.
RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE
Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

MORRIS D. KATT

Mr,Mrs. Bridget Horn,

How can you be both "Mr" and "Mrs"?

I don't know what to make of your list of charges. Am I supposed to pay all of them? That comes to a grand total of $2,035.00, which is a pretty grand total, I must say!

Why do all these carriers have to be utilized? Does one take the item from your office just so far, and another carrier pick it up, and take it another short distance, then another, and finally deliver the shipment to me? Can't just one carrier handle all the work?

I would suggest FedEx as the only carrier, as they deliver every day, even out here in the farmlands.

After seeing "Cast Away", we realize now how diligent their employees are, in delivering the shipments entrusted to their care to reach the intended destination in timely fashion.

We have some errands to attend to today which will take up most of the day, but will see if you have responded by this evening.

As ever, Morris D. Katt

BRIDGET HORN

Received:([59.160.240.224])
Date: 6 Dec 2006 18:27:54

Attention,Morris Desmond Kattv Instrument payment irrevocable account (pin code) Transfer Access Code and Payment Slip),We have acknowledgement the receipt of telfax application form from you above payment,volue amount $800,000,00
First and foremost I have to commend you for your reply.conerning Mr and Mrs,i'am Mrs Bridget Horn and the second person,Mr,Opper Kelly is my assistance.hope your understood. For the courier listed below,you should choose one to deliver the original personal Identification number (PIN),Transfer Access Code and Payment Slip,as you choose Fedex Courier company,go ahead to wire any one,between overnight express or normally deliver with the asap below name gaven.to enable your items send to you first thing tomorrow morning.

(FEDEX) Overnight Express also $350,00,Normally delivery $150,00,

listed below here to wire the funds to,pls,send the money via money gram for security purpose.
RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE
Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

Let the Lad stew overnight, then, just as I was about to reply, this comes. He sends it twice, of course...

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.225])
Thu, 07 Dec 2006 11:14:29 (and again at 11:17:53)

Attention,Morris Desmond Katt
Instrument payment irrevocable account (pin code) Transfer Access Code and Payment Slip),We are here waiting for the confirmation.
Pls,you should advise to arrange for any choice you make between overnight express and normally deliver.

(FEDEX) Overnight Express $350,00,Normally delivery $150,00,

listed below here to wire the funds to,pls,send the money via money gram for security purpose.
RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE
Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

MORRIS D. KATT

Madame:

Why do you send this message twice? Do you think we will think it is more important if you send it two times, rather than just once?

We are not stupid people, Madame! Send your message only once, that will suffice.

We shall attend the matter tomorrow. For today, we are digging out of a late-autumn snowfall, and it is a great amount of work just to get to our road. The snowplows haven't cleared off the road, so we cannot possibly get to the town nearest us, that has a money-wire office.

May we assume you mean Western Union, as the preferred method of wire transfer?

Remember, send your message only once. Otherwise you appear rather foolish, and anxious for the money, instead of being cooperative in sending me the money due to us, for our participation.

Morris D. Katt
Garfield A. Katt
Felix T. Katt
Sylvester D. Katt
Fritz T. Katt
Thomas "Uncle Tom" Katt

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.225])
Date: Fri,8 Dec 2006 06:43:10

Attention,Morris Desmond Katt
Sequel to your urgent respond message and the contents therein well noted,you should advise to make any of your choice wether western union money transfer or money gram,when your ready,

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn,

The snowplows have finally got through our roads, and we are finally free to go to town to send your money.

Let me tell you, this has been a very long process, and my brothers had just about given up on you and this transactions, but I kept telling them, "Just wait. We will hear from these banking people again!" And, just as I predicted, we DID hear from you!

As you probably know, the farming business can be a "chancy" one, we are at the mercy of Nature, so the harvest depends upon the weather. Fortunate for us, after a fairly dry Spring and early Summer, we had some good rains, and the Japanese okra crop that we raise was a bountiful one, and we were able to put some money aside for extra expenses.

I was able to convince my brothers that the larger payment of $350.00 would be the wiser choice, as we would recieve our $800,000.00 quicker.

You should be in receipt of the $350.00 by Western Union, under these directives:

RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE

We will go to town as soon as I send this. I am sorry it took so long to reply to your last mail, we have been snow-bound, so we decided to put up our Christmas decorations.

You should see them, they're just wonderful--hundreds of lights, and a big wooden sleigh with 9 reindeer, and a large plastic Santa Claus, who appears to be getting ready to come down our chimney! The neighboring children just love it!!!!

Wishing you the very best of this Holiday Season, I remain,

Morris D. Katt, for Garfield, Felix, Sylvester, Fritz, and "Uncle Tom" Katt

Bank-Lady Lad seems to be falling all over himself (herself?) in Divine anticipation of the Big Payoff...

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.217])
Date: 14 Dec 2006 07:11:42

Attention,Morris Katt

Instrument payment irrevocable account (pin code) Transfer Access Code and Payment Slip),We have acknowledgement the receipt of telfax application form from you above payment,

First and foremost I have to commend you for your reply.I wish to acknowledgment of your message and the contents were well noted.before any further details,i want you to follows those prayer point for Xmas season.

Prayers for special people like you,You will find favour with someone you don't expect,You will be too relevant to be ignored, You will encounter God and you will never remain the same,The grace for completion will come on your ways, You shall be blessed till the blessed call you blessed,The mouth saying "Amen" to this prayer shall laugh forever.

Very Very soon, I say Very Very soon, God is going to do a miracle that will make you halla;ah! Father, Remain in God's love.and you should advise to quickly hurry up send the fee via the asap like as I stated on MY previous e-mail below.

RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE

nks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.224])
Mon, 18 Dec 2006

Attention,Morris Katt
Instrument payment irrevocable account (pin code) Transfer Access Code and Payment Slip),We have acknowledgement the receipt of telfax application form from you above payment,Morris,this is to noted you that our end of yrs programm would going to take place on 24th Dec 006,and my tention is to make sure everything move smoothly before the 24th.so you should advise to arrange the charge fee and send it immediately,in order to mail those documents for you.
RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

... and on we go ...

[Must be a slow time in Lad Land, because the Lads once again try to take advantage of those trusting bachelor javelina farmers, the Katt brothers. As Christmas approaches...]

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.213])
Date: 22 Dec 2006 08:12:47

Attention,Morris Desmond Katt
This is to inform you that our closing of the yrs programm would going to take place on 23th Dec 006.

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

[This deserves a reply, but not until Christmas morning--can't appear too eager, y'know...]

MORRIS D. KATT

Sorry, Mr,Mrs. Bridget Horn,

I was not able to send you the fees, as my brother Felix had signed us up for Christmas-toy distribution at the Childrens' shelter on Friday. By the time he finally told us about it on Thursday evening, we could not change the time of our working schedule. We worked all day long, and by the time we were through, the Western Union office was closed.

Saturday, the WU office was again closed, the agents wanted to have the entire weekend off so they could spend valuable time with their families. Sunday being Christmas Eve, the office was, of course, closed, as it is closed today, too. That makes for a very nice long time these hard-working people to recuperate after this busy time of the year!!

You know how important that is if you have children and/or grandchildren. The agents, Russell (Rusty) Nayles, and his secretary, Siri S. Bling are engaged to be married, and have a total of 16 children and grandchildren between them, so they are understandably very much interested in spending as much time with their blended family as possible.

Even the clerk, Charles (Chuck) U. Farleigh, had to have some time off. He was there until nearly 10 PM on Thursday night, so he needed to rest from that heavy workload. He's no "spring chicken" any more, and works harder than any man of 74 years' age should work.

The first thing on Tuesday morning, Garfield and I will go to town, and wire your money for the transfer fees.

Wishing you the finest Holiday season ever!

Morris D. Katt

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.227])
Date: 26 Dec 2006 15:31:27

Attention,Morris Katt
Happy Xmas
I have gone through with your message received today 26th 006,and the only advise i have to give you,is how to proceed and concluded this issue soonest,by wire the charge fee as you stated below on mandate.

RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE
MTCNĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

[Oh, so anxious...]

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.217])
Date: 28 Dec 2006 19:12:14

Attention,Morris Katt

Happy Xmas and New year in advance

You should advise to make sure that the overnight express charge would send tomorrow in order to mail these documents to you first thing saturday morning.

God bless and have a very nice day

Asap details

RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE
MTCNĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

[I take a short vacation. Upon my return, I check the Inbox...]

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.214])
Date: 2 Jan 2007 07:52:49

Attention,Morris Katt.

Happy New year,and year 2007,should be supernatural complishment in your life endeavour.comply with the details asap immediately you wire the sum of with the following below.in order to send these documents first thing tomorrow morning.

Asap details

RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE
MTCNĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.212])
Date: 10Jan 2007 14:59:14

Attention,Morris Katt.

Happy New Yrs
My opinion to this little underline message is just to inform you that i can't not contiunesly assist you again for your promiese and fail,you should contact the United Nation any time you needed your documents,because,we have waited enough for you.Bye

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

[Mrs. Bridget Horn has dropped the "Mr". and is getting fed up with me. Can this important transaction be resurrected? Let's see....]

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Mrs. Bridget Horn,

I must humbly apologize for the delay in replying to your recent mail. We have only just returned to our home, following a week-and-a-half trip to Felinesburg, in the Catskill Mountains, to visit our Aunt Tillie before she died. We were able to see her several times in the three days prior to the sad event, and of course we had to remain for her funeral and burial.

Now that we have returned just this afternoon, your message greets us.

Are you abandoning us, after all this time? Is that permitted by your banking officials? This does not seem to be very good business on your part.

Kindly explain, Madame.

Yours for the family, Morris D. Katt

[She's sympathetic, but businesslike... ]

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.224])
Date: 13 Jan 2007 08:24:19

Attention,Morris Katt.

Well,am very sorried for the dead of your Aunt,and let her soul rest in peace,Amen.Ok,like now,how should you arranging for the sending of the fee in order to mail those documents for you?

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

[Wait a couple of weeks, then send another sad tale of woe...]

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Mrs. Bridget Horn,

I know it has been a few weeks since our last correspondence, and for that I apologize. It has been a very hectic time for us, what with the death of Aunt Tillie and all.

If I may, I will bring you up to date on the events that lead up to today. After Aunt Tillie died, her spinster sister Tabitha went into a catastrophic depression, and that lasted nearly two weeks. We couldn't get Aunt Tabby to eat, and all she did was sit in front of the fireplace and stare at nothing. It was scary.

Then Aunt Tabby started behaving very oddly. She crawled up into the elm tree in our front yard, and it took the fire department men to get her down! They said she was going crazy, but we just assumed that she is overcome with grief.

Fortunately, her physician, Dr. V. E. Ternary, prescribed an anti-psychotic medication for her, and now she is back to her seat in front of the fireplace. We had to promise her that we would have her fur coat cleaned. Why she wanted us to do that, we are at a loss to figure out, as she usually just takes care of that herself. Now, today, Aunt Tabby is back to her normal self, and we can assume our regular activities.

I am very happy for that, as I know you have been awaiting our payment of the fees involved with this transaction.

Barring any unforseen circumstance, you should receive the payment tomorrow. Please, will you send the recipient's information again? I seem to have misplaced it. Thanks.

Sincerely, Morris D. Katt, for the Katt Brothers

... picking up in February ...

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.213])
Wed, 31 Jan 2007

Attention,Morris Katt.

Your message is well noted and understanding.meanwhile,you should be advise in order to concluded the issue this week,to enable your dream come to reality.

Asap details

RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE
MTCNĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

[Not giving up yet...]

BRIDGET HORN

Received: from rediffmail.com ([59.160.240.227])
Date: 15 Feb 2007

Attention,Morris Katt.

The management of international audit united nation Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.wish to keep you posted concern your (PIN CODE) (Transfer Access)(TAC) those documents which you would use to confirm sum of $800,000,00,into your norminated bank account,and you can see the situation of things now,that we has waited enough without a good news from your side.morever,try your possible best to make sure that the payment would going to be ready today and tomorrow to enable us secure those paper and send it you for the confirmation of your funds.

[~sigh~ Gotta reply...]

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Mrs. Bridget Horn,

I was wondering if you have abandoned me?

What with all the family's problems, and the death of Auntie, I have completely forgotten the amount of money required to settle the account in question. Will you be so kind as to refresh my memory?

We are at liberty to attend this matter with our full concentration, and zeal.

Thank you for your patience with us.

Morris D. Katt, for the family

BRIDGET HORN

Date:Fri, 16 Feb 2007

Attention,Morris Desmond Katt
Go back to you recording file on date 6-12-2006.
Instrument payment irrevocable account (pin code) Transfer Access Code and Payment Slip),We have acknowledgement the receipt of telfax application form from you above payment,volue amount $800,000,00

First and foremost I have to commend you for your reply.conerning ,For the courier listed below,you should choose one to deliver the original personal Identification number (PIN),Transfer Access Code and Payment Slip,as you choose Fedex Courier company,go ahead to wire any one,between overnight express or normally deliver with the asap below name gaven.to enable your items send to you first thing tomorrow morning.

(FEDEX) Overnight Express also $350,00,Normally delivery $150,00,

Below where to wire the funds to,pls,send the money via money gram for security purpose.

RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE

MORRIS D. KATT

Dear Madame,

I am concerned that you don't want the money to be transferred by electronic bank-transfer. This is done all the time, and with such a large amount, it would be far more secure if transferred this way.

At any rate, I am going to send your payment of $3,500.00 by money gram this morning. There is no Western Union office in our town, but I will make a special trip to the city, so as to finish this project. We have been at it for far too long, but when there are family emergencies, certain adjustments must be made.

I will write back with the money-gram details that you no doubt will require, when I return from my errands.

Sincerely, Morris D. Katt, for the family

March 2 update:

["Bridget" still hammering on Morris for the money:]

BRIDGET HORN

Attention,Morris Desmond Katt

You should advise to forward the following asap immediately the payment made in order to secure the documents immediately to enable your bank confirmed your funds to you within 72 hours.

Below where to wire the funds to,pls,send the money via money gram for security purpose.

RECEIVER NAME ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦMR IKELIE CHUKWU
ADDRESS/ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ254/BRANDOR ROAD/PORTO NOVO
COUNTRY ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA
CITYĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ PORTO NOVO
TEXT QUESTIONĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ DOCUMENTS
ANSWER ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦPIN CODE

Thanks
My faithfully to you
Mr,Mrs Bridget Horn
Director international audit united nation
Liaison office Federal Republic of Benin.

[Morris seems to have used up one of his lives. Time to introduce the family lawyer (insert fanfare here)...]

HUGH JARDON

From the Desk of Hugh Jardon, Attorney at Law
Jardon, Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe
Ste. 419, at 1696 Palazzo de Jardon, Edna, OK

Dear Mrs. Bridget Horn,

I regret to inform you of the very untimely death of my client, Morris D. Katt, who, along with his brothers, Felix, Garfield, and Sylvester, were innocently involved in an attempted robbery of their bank.

As much information as can be gathered from the police reports, they were just about to make a substantial withdrawal. They were being served by the teller, miss Minerva T. Oucan, when several men entered the bank and announced their intent to rob the bank and all the people in the bank.

While his brothers distracted the robbers' attention, Mr. Morris tried to be the hero, and dis-arm one of the bad men, and was shot right in his Gluteous Maximus, and has lingered near death for almost 2 weeks, until he finally died in agony early yesterday morning. In going through Morris' mail accounts, we found your name and decided to contact you as soon as possible to inform you this tragic news.

Funeral arrangements are being made by his brothers, who are all in agreement that it was a good thing that the youngest brother, Fritz, did not witness the event, as It may have destroyed him, and turned him back to his former life.

Their Uncle Tom was at home with Fritz, and was also spared this ordeal.

I know you will send your heartfelt condolences to the Katt family, but please do not send any flowers. A small donation to the charity of your choice will be a fitting memorial to my old, and treasured friend, Morris Desmond Katt.

Sincerely, and in deep mourning,

Hugh Jardon

['naznote: Please, let's don't shed many tears for Morris, he will return. As we all know, Katts have 9 lives, and between all the Katt brothers and their uncle Tom and Aunt Tabby Katt, they have many lives left! ;o)]