Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour makes Pierpont an offer he can't refuse. Subject: Discount sales of gold. Date: Mon, 30 Sep 2002 06:06:09 +0100 From: "DR. EBENEZER KUFFOUR." OKOAMPAH AGYEMAN & GYIMAH MIN. SERV. NO.23 NKRUMAH CIRCLE KANESHIE ACCRA-GHANA. TEL: nnn-nn-nnnnnn. E-mail xxx@xxxxx.xxx DEAR SIR/Madam, (FULL COPORATE OFFER) WE ARE SMALL SCALE ALLUVIAL GOLD MINERS IN THE EASTERN AND WESTERN PART OF GHANA. AT THE MOMENT WE HAVE IN STOCK ABOUT FIVE HUNDRED KILLOGRAMS OF ALLUVIAL GOLD DUST OF ABOUT 22.8 KARATS. OUR PRICES IS (20%) TWENTY PERCENT LESS THE SECOND LONDON AT FIXING AT THE DAY OF PURCHASE. BUT IF WE HAVE TO SELL THE GOODS TO EUROPE , AMERICA OR ASIA THEN THE PRICE WILL VARY DEPENDING ON OUR NEGOTIATIONS. PREFERABLY A DIPLOMATIC COURIER WILL BRING THE GOODS TO USA. AFTER YOU HAVE TESTED AND CONFIRMED THE QUALITY AND THE AVAILABILITY OF THE MERCHANDISE, THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DEFRAY THE COURIER CHARGES, FREIGHT CHARGES ETC. AND CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF THE CONSIGNMENT. YOU WILL HAVE TO ALSO TAKE OVER ALL OTHER EXPENSES LIKE GOVERNMENT TAXES, REFINERY CHARGES AND COURIER CHARGES FROM THE AIRPORT TO YOUR DESTINED SMELTER. THE BUYER PROVIDES TWO TICKETS AND ACCOMODATION FOR OUR TWO DELEGATES WHO WILL STAY DURING THE TRANSACTIONS WITH YOU IN YOUR PLACE OR WHERE THE CONSIGNMENT IS BEING TAKEN. PRODUCT: GOLDDUST OR BULLION. ORIGIN: GHANA WEST AFRICA. BAR WEIGHT: 12.5KG (ALLUVIAL GOLD DUST) PURITY: 99.95% OR BETTER. QUANTITY: 500KG. DELIVERY: GHANA OR EUROPE. PRICE: BASED ON THE SECOND LONDON FIXING AT THE DAY OF PURCHASE. DISCOUNT: GROSS OF 20% TO BE SHARED AS FOLLOWS: - FIFTEEN PERCENT (15%) TO THE BUYER INTERMEDIARIES. THE SELLER FURNISHES THE BUYERS BANK WITH ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS. THE BUYER COMES TO GHANA FOR A ROUND TABLE TALK AND SIGNING OF THE AGREEMENT BEFORE BUSINESS COMMENCES. PLEASE CALL US IMMEDIATELY ON TEL NO: nnn-nn-nnnnnn. OR E- MAIL US ON xxx@xxxxx.xxx WE ARE EXPECTING YOUR RESPONSE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. DR. EBENEZER KUFFOUR. (EXECUTIVE MANAGER)
Pierpont Usually these offers are scams inside of scams. Pierpont accepts the offer, even though he is a bit confused by it Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour, I am sorry that it has taken me so long to reply. Your original email was sent to my business account. I was on a moose hunting trip to central Iowa and of course there was no way for me check my email from that wilderness. I am pleased to say I bagged several of the viscous beasts with the loss of only two of my bearers (the moose hide quite effectively in the corn fields and pounce upon one with bared fangs). From reading your message I'm convinced this is a matter which requires confidentiality, credulousness, and much sneaking about. Therefore I am replying to you from a more private email account. I ask that all future communcations be sent to me here. Of course I am interested in your business proposal. I confess to being a bit confused about some of the details. If I understand correctly, you are short selling by 20% me a supply of alluvial gold (and you get 5% of the total amount of the discount for your efforts). However, I am expected to handle the incidental charges which may arise. Do you have an idea what those charges might end up totalling? Further, we are to meet in Ghana to sign the agreement, and you will then fly the 500kg of alluvial gold to the destination of my choice where I will assume ownership. What arrangements are made to insure the alluvial gold does in fact get delivered after I pay the original charges? Please, I will need these details as to how to procede from this point to the ultimate looting of my bank accounts. Yours in Peace & Fertility, Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ.
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Dr. KaFool can't be seriously putting forth a $175,000 fee this early in the scam? Dear Emanuel Weaver, Thanks for your response and interest on our proposal, However I think you got every thing correct on your mail. We are offering 20% off the L.M.E and the payment will be after refinery / reaching your destination. Official export charges is $17,500USD per 50kg, as approved by the government. total export charges for 500kgs is $175,000USD. This is approved by the (P.M.M.C) Precious Mineral marketing Company. The product will be insured by an insurance company with other legal documents which will back it up to ensure safe delivery. Call me on 233 27 587908 for more details, And also let me have your private phone and fax numbers to make communication easy. Pls, let me know when you will arrive to Ghana to avoid any delay. Awaiting your urgent response and accept our equall services to all. Sincerely yours, Ebenezer Kuffour.
Pierpont Pierpont does some financial calculations and hints at some future wheeling and dealing. Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour, I'm so happy to hear from you. I trust you and your family had a pleasant weekend and are in good health. By the way, it is a small detail, but Emanuel is my middle name, Pierpont is my given name. I was named after my dear father's (and may his brain-dead body rest in peace) father and a famous series of movies. I am pleased that we are on the same page when it comes to the details of the transaction. I feel it is of upmost importance for all parties involved in an "ipso facto fleecing" (as those devilish lawyers might call it) to understand exactly what is expected of them. For that reason I ran some figures based on today's gold price at the London's Metals Exchange and the entire consignment of alluvial gold would fetch approximately 5,675,586.60 in US dollars. My fiften percent would come out to about 851,337 US dollars. Your handling fee would be around a quarter of a million dollars which certainly seems fair. Indeed, such commercial ventures are wonderful things, are they not my friend? The 175,000 US dollar Official export charge seems reasonable. I imagine, once the proper contracts are signed, it would be a simple enough matter to escrow a loan for that amount against the gold's delivery and/or insurance. Although perhaps an escargot account tied to the prime would be a safer gamble. Either way, we should be able to leverage the gold to cover most of the expenses of the transaction. Sounds simple enough to me. I do have a tiny problem on my end, and that's how to move such a large sum of monies into my accounts, while at the same time minimizing the US taxes I'll be required to pay. I'm busily working the sums through various spread sheet formulas to see what works best. As they say, funny money in - funny money out! I tried to call you, but the exchange was busy. Phones are such archaic devices. I much prefer, as I'm sure you do, to handle my transactions via an online conference. Voice would be good enough, although I do have the capacity to video conference. As for my FAX number, I prefer not to use my company's FAX for this delicate matter (my secretary is dreadfully nosey and a gossip to boot -- well, next time I'll know better than to hire eye-candy). I am in the process of setting up a private FAX number you can contact and I will email you the number as soon as it is available. Yours in Peace and Fertility Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ.
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Apparently Dr. KaFool is having trouble with his email. Dear Sir, This is to inform you that we are still especting your response to our last mail to you. Thanks. E. Kuffour
Pierpont Pierpont replies with an almost identical email as his last. Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour, That's strange, I had replied to you yesterday. The communication lines in Accra-Ghana must be a bit flummoxed, because I could not get my call through to you either. More on that later, but now down to the shadey business at hand. At any rate, as I mentioned in my unreceived email (and some of this will be repeated if the previous email does eventually arrive in the interrum) -- I am pleased that we are on the same page when it comes to the details of the transaction. I feel it is of upmost importance for both of us to understand exactly what is expected as we go about our larceney. For that reason I ran some figures based on yesterday's gold price at the London's Metals Exchange and the entire consignment of alluvial gold would fetch approximately 5,675,586.60 in US dollars. My fifteen percent would come out to about 851,337 US dollars. Your handling fee would be around a quarter of a million dollars which certainly seems fair. The 175,000 US dollar Official export charge seems reasonable. I imagine, once the proper contracts are signed, it would be a simple enough matter to escrow a loan for that amount against the gold's delivery and/or insurance. Although perhaps an escargot account tied to the prime would be a safer gamble. Either way, we should be able to use the gold as collateral to cover most of the expenses of the transaction. I do have a tiny problem on my end, and that's how to move such a large sum of monies into my accounts, while at the same time minimizing the US taxes I'll be required to pay. I'm busily working the sums through various spread sheet formulas to see what works best. As they say, funny money in - funny money out! I think I am nearing as satifactory solution that will benefit us both financially. I also mentioned that I preferred to handle my business via online conferences rather than by phone. I'm sure the offices of your gold mining consortium are set up for either voice or video conference. I am also hesitant to use my company's FAX machine. The walls have ears and the water-cooler is abuzz with rumors and all. For that reason I am at present arranging for another, more secure, FAX. I believe this will aid in the looming bamboozling considerably. Yours in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ.
Pierpont After waiting a few days Pierpont develops the sneaking suspicion that KaFool's email address has been discontinued. He decides to try KaFool's other email address. Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour, I'm beginning to get a bit puzzled by this exchange of emails. After you failed to receive my last reply I promptly answered you. You have not answered that email which leads me to believe you did not receive it either. Couple that with my inability to get a connection at the phone number you provided, and I'm beginning to suspect the electronic communications in your company are incompetently handled. I certainly hope your business skills are better. This is my last response to your offer, and it is sent to your alternative email address. I expect a prompt reply. I am a busy man with multiple transaction to juggle and have no time to waste on games. I have also set up a private phone number where you can send a FAX transmission as well as contact me by voice. If I do not answer the phone and you wish to FAX, start sending the FAX before the beep. You may record a voice message after the beep. The number is 206-600-5600. I do not know the country code, you'll need to get that from your local operator. Yours in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ.
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Whoo-hoo, the fish is back on the hook. I love it when he asks Pierpont "In this stage what are we going to do?" Ummm... you're the scammer moron, you're supposed to be running the show not Weaver. Dear Weaver, thanks for your message, We have been expecting your response which I just received today. Please understand that communication problem is all over not a play If you try and it failed you have to try again until you get through most times the line might be engaged. The number again is +233-27-587908 the line is always ready. In this stage what are we going to do ? and what was the content of the last mail which did not reach us. I will try your phone today and also try to reach me on phone for more talk. Sorry for the delay and accept our equall services to all. Reply ASAP. Regards. E. Kuffour
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Pierpont's Nubian alluvial gold mining buddy also calls. Phone Call
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour He's in a veritable frenzy. He sends another email, this time offering to ship the alluvial gold. I'm sure there won't be any strings attached. Dear Weaver, This is the second mail of today, are you coming down to Ghana as soon as possible or would you like the product to be moved to your destination by us? Lets know the next stage without much delay we are ever ready for business and actions. E. Kuffour
Pierpont Pierpont replies. He also includes his previous letter (again) since it may be leading to something down the road. Dear Dr E. Kuffour, I am pleased to have heard from you via phone message and email today. I was beginning to become concerned over our pending business partnership. I only have a brief amount of time to write before I need to leave the office for a very long day in the field. Before we move the gold I do think we'll need to carefully work out the details. I'm sure most of them can be worked out via conference call, email and FAX; although a face to face meeting in Ghana may be helpful. I am beginning to become excited by this partnership. I see nothing but good things arising from it and anticipate it eventually blooming into a long and fiscally rewarding relationship. I am pressed for time at the moment so I will paste a copy of my last email below. I have had time to work out some of the details that concerned me: [repeat of his last letter]
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool seems to think Pierpont is going to stuff a garbage bag with $170,000 and fly to Accra. Dear Weaver, we have receved your mail, and we wait for your final plane and arrival schedul, If you will find it difficult to travel with the shipment charges, we can give the company's account to pay inn the money for your arrival. call on phone for further talks. Thanks we are most grateful E. Kuffour
Pierpont Not so fast cowboy, Pierpont wants some comical looking forged documents before he's going to fly anywhere. This guy is so bad Pierpont is having to scam himself to keep it going. Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, Good heavens man, get a grip on yourself will you? It is far too early for anybody to be flying anywhere. We haven't even completed any of the preliminary paperwork. My God, we haven't even forged a implausable contract yet. I'm sure your handshake is as good as your word, but I do think we should have something on paper. Be patient my friend, we must cross the T's and dot the I's. Soon enough we'll be toasting each other on the successful conclusion of this transaction. For example, in your second email to me you refered to the Precious Mineral Marketing Company. I went to their website -- http://www.ghana-com.co.uk/Economy.shtml#SettingUpBusiness -- and found this bit of business that needs to be attended to: "A foreign investor may team up with a Ghanaian entrepreneur or company for a joint venture, usually in the form of a partnership or a limited company ... Application for registration of a company is made directly, or through agents or solicitors, to the registrar-general. A company is duly registered after the company’s regulations have been submitted to the registrar of companies and a certificate of incorporation issued." I think the next step is for me to contact the registrar-general and establish our joint venture, or is that something you can handle easier from your end? Please research the matter and tell me the particulars I'll need to provide so we may procede with this flim-flamming with at least a facade of legitamacy. We also need to talk. Your phone service is absolutely horrid. I believe the recent rash of solar flares, or perhaps baboons nibbling on the wires, is causing intermittent outages. With that in mind, I've also requested that you contact your IT department so we can have an onLine conference. Have they returned with an answer as to what conferencing software you use? If they need advice I can offer some suggestions. I look forward to conferencing with you and nailing down many of the loose details in this illusionary p artnership of ours. I also believe I've found a way around the tax issue. I have to work out a few more details here and I think we'll have a means of smoothing the whole affair. I'll have more information on that soon. Is there any information in particular you need from me? Surely you'll need some information from me to draw up the Certificates of Insurance, etc. Your in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont Emanuel Weaver
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool sort of flounders around trying to keep the deal alive, but doesn't knowing exactly what to do next. Dear Weaver, Thanks I understand you very much to register , I want to assure when you arrive all this will be done unless you don't want to come over. To register a comapny here is possible and easy with a local partner and the informations need from you will be when you arrive your name , address, and your company informations also sort of identification such as driver's licence or international passport copy or any other ID. Awaiting your response. Thanks. E. Kuffour
Pierpont Gee, I wonder if KaFool can install software on the computer of the internet cafe he frequents? Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, I've been checking the calendar and the projections on the gold market. It looks like the best window of opportunity for selling the gold will be in mid December. I'm guessing it would take at most a week or two from the point of finalizing our suspect deal to selling the alluvial gold. For that reason I am presently planning on making the trip to meet you in Accra Ghana in either the last week of November, or the first week in December. In the meanwhile we should have a voice conference. You have not replied on the software your company uses, which leads me to believe you may be unfamiliar with the technology. I suggest, as a very simple-minded introduction to this sham conference, that you consider loading the Roger-Wilco software (go to gamespy for the client software). It may not seem very business like, but is very simple free conferencing software for IT departments unfamiliar with the technology to practice with. Of course if you have other software you use, please advise and I'll get my computer people working on the interface. I still believe that Registering Weaver Enterprises as a foreign partner of your company is best handled before I get there. We want to avoid as many last minute glitches to this deal as possible -- after all, I'm sure some unexpected "surprise" snags are going to rear their heads We should get as many details out of the way early as possible, there will be enough last minute expenses we'll have to scramble to take care of as it is. Also, I wonder if you could FAX me, or attach to an emails, a Bill of Lading showing your ownership of the gold, as well as the Certificate of Insurance? I'll be forwarding my company particulars, as well as bank account information, later this week. I must say I am pleased by this deal, although a bit puzzled as to why you seem unwilling to send me the information I request. We must have faith and trust in each other for this venture to proceed to the anticipated financial legerdermane. Your in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont Emanuel Weaver
Pierpont Hmmm... no response? Time to give him a little nudge, this time with a letter from my lawyer (written by a fellow counter-spammer) attached. Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, I trust all is well with you and your family. I'm a bit sore myself. Clumsy me, I fell off of the back of a turnip truck today and sprained my back. Fortunately it is nothing serious and I should be back to full strength in no time at all. I've been very busy working on the details of this partnership on my end. I'm still waiting to hear your opinion of the proposed late November/early December date for our meeting. Plans on this side are prodeeding nicely. I've attached a scan of an letter I received from my lawyer. We've postioned some funds in Ghana and await the documents I've requested from you so we can begin moving this transaction forward. In addition, we believe that for tax purposes it would be best if we were to shelter this alluvial gold sale under the umbrella of a charity. This would have the effect of releasing more actual cash for all involved. I know it may seem a bit unethical to an honest businessman such as yourself, but these types of tax shelters are commonly employed in the United States. If it meets your approval I would like you to write a letter indicated you would like us to handle the details of a "donation" to the charity. If you approve of this approach I will send you further details to aide you in writing said letter. As always, Yours in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont Emanuel Weaver Attached Lawyer's Letter
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Whooo-Hooo, the bait worked. Pierpont gets another phone call from the dear Doctor Phone Call
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Followed by a letter in which KaFool drops his scam figure from $170,000 to $1,800. He continues to duck Pierpont's requests for forged documents. Attn: Mr. P. weaver, Dear Weaver, Thanks for your mail, and sorry for the delay in replying that was due to my trip out of the city. About the meeting for the business, if you will make the trip earlier than your schedule that is end of October or early November I think it will be better for us. Please understand that I am not too familiar with computer most of our business is phone, fax and email. I can't understand why you cannot get me on phone, while we receive calls from Asia, America and Europe without any problem. But when I call you it gets through so try me again and again you will get the line no matter how difficult. To register the company here is possible and I have made enquiries about it as a foreign company it will cost $1,800 USD to incorporate. So if you are ready and you want if to be done before you arrive let know and I will tell you the requirements. Be rest assured all arrangement concerning our transaction has been made so there will be no emergency or disappointment along the way. Concerning the bill of loading and insurance, it will only be ready and available when the goods for shipment and export. What information did you request from me? Let me know. Regarding your second mail, which every means you think or know things will move better for us I give you our support. And believe me I did not understand most of the content of the attachment you sent to me from your Lawyer. Call me 233 27 587908. Awaiting your urgent response. Regards. E. Kuffour.
Pierpont Pierpont replies and attaches a newspaper article about the charity (which I suppose could be interpreted as a Packer fan kicking some Lion's fans while they're down). Pierpont also casually mentions that Buck's letter said $50,000 had been moved into a bank account in Ghana. Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, I am pleased to hear from you and I hope your trip was harmonious and prosperous. No need to apologize, we are both busy business men. I am feeling pretty good, although my back is taking longer to recover from my tumble off the turnip truck than I had hoped. I'm afraid I'm booked solid in early November. I have an important Trade Show which I must attend. The earliest I could schedule a trip would be around the 12th of November. If that sounds good, then I shall begin booking a flight. By the way, my wife would very much like to make the trip over also. She is quite the collector of art and other curios and is excited at the prospect of exploring the markets, etc. of your country. I do hope her coming along is not a problem for you. Yes, the situation with the phones is most curious. I tried again earlier today but could only get a busy signal. Buck said he couldn't even make a connection. It has rained a considerable amount where we are, perhaps moisture has gotten into the lines. I'll be travelling to the Spas at Gary Indianna this weekend. I'll look into purchasing a mobile phone and see if I have better luck contacting you. I'll also be taking along my laptop computer so I will be able to read my emails and stay in contact with you if something needing feigned attention arises. It is a shame you're having problems with the onLine Conferencing software. It is rather easy to set up if one knows computers, and it is much more reliable - and as a businessman you'll no doubt appreciate this - cheaper than overseas phone calls. When I spoke about the Bill of Lading and Insurance Certificate perhaps I was not clear. I was simply requesting some sort of a document showing your ownership of the alluvial gold. In your original email you indicated it was 99% pure. You must have had it appraised and I'm sure the Chemical Labs report, or something similar, would be fine for my needs. Thank you for agreeing to scheme to transfer the alluvial gold through a charity. That will save us a considerable sum of money in taxation. I work with a charity called the L.F.A. (Leo Fan Anonymous). It is a charity that helps people who suffer from uncurable melancholia and depression. We do our best, via modern medicines, electro-shock therapy, and surgical procedures to see that they live a happy, albeit empty headed, existence. It is the best we can do. If you could write a letter, in your own words of course, saying you heard of the fine work of the L.F.A. and would like to assist via the saale of alluvial gold I would appreciate it more than you can know. I've attached an article concerning its founding to provide you with further information about it. Many, many thanks. Yes, Leviticus "Buck" Wheat's letter I attached to the last email was no doubt confusing. Lawyers are silver tongued devils aren't they? They spend too much of their time playing the sloppy lip blues on meat whistles for my taste. At any rate, aside from the chit-chat, he was just informing me that he had arranged the transfer of 50,000 US dollars to a bank in Accra. He was also concerned that you post a Surety Bond for the alluvial gold. Don't worry about that too much, as honorable businessman our word should be bond enough. At any rate, he'll no doubt be in touch with you at some point in the near future. Email me if you have any questions or concerns over his antics. Yours in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont E. Weaver, Esq. Attached Newspaper Article
Pierpont Pierpont almost forgot the bit about incorporating in Ghana for $1,800. Dear Dr. E. Kuffour, I am so embarassed. In my enthusiasm over this pending deal, I almost forgot to address a very important point in your email. Thanks for checking on the requirements for a foreign firm doing business in your country. Yes, it would be best if we could have the incorporation papers ready and signed before I come over, or at least ready to be signed as soon as I arrive. You can send the forms to me via FAX or email attachment and I'll see they are promptly filed. Yours in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont E. Weaver, Esq.
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Oooohhhh... the Mines Association is throwing a big shindig in November!!!! Maybe Pierpont can film a "Girls Gone Wild at the Mining Association Party" tape and sell it on late night TV!!! Dear Weaver, I have gone to the chamber of mines here for the change of ownership certificate in your name and they are asking for the proof of the payment you made. You have to make your trip end of this month as I earlier said, because from November the mines association will be having end of year party and after that it will go on holidays. Please explain more about the charity sales to me , because I have not done it that way before. And finally, let your lawyer understand and know that this business is legitimate and all documents will come from the Government accordingly. That?s why we ask you to come over for the signing of the agreements and documents. Then we can proceed to get all necessary documents in your name for the shipment. The documents that will be given to you are as follows. 1) Certificate of Origin (2) Certificate of Ownership (3) Insurance and Bill of loading. All will be in your name. Regards. Ebenezer Kuffour
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour The $50,000 got his attention for sure. He calls again. Phone Call
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour And he writes again, still trying to get that $1,800 fee. Dear Friend, To register the company and to get the forms which you will fill you have to send the money which i told you it will cost through the western union money transfer in favour of SAMUEL EKEZIE Accra-Ghana. Then you send me the transfer informations. When i pay the forms will be given to me and I will send if Original to you through DHL to fill properly sign and return the same way. I will respond to your first mail later. My greatings to your wife and family. Regards. Kuffour.
Pierpont Pierpont, now on his vacation to the spas of Gary Indianna, OKs the $1,800 (honest) -- but he is going to need some phony documents first. Dear Kuffour, How are you my friend? In good health I hope. I'm sorry I have not replied earlier, but as I said I'm taking a trip to the Spa this weekend. I spent the entire day travelling via motor car. We've stopped at Branson, Missouri. Lulu Bell, my lovely wife, is a big Jim Nabors fan and we're hoping to catch his show tonight. I'll have to be brief in my reply. At first I was confused by your second letter. I thought you were asking me to pay $1,800 for some blank forms. I almost got angry, but then I realized it must just be a mix-up in language. Surely nobody would be foolish enough to pay that much money just to get a blank form to fill out. I'm sure what you meant was after I filled out the forms I should submit them with the $1,800 fee at the same time. Of course that is perfectly exceptable to me. You can send the forms via DHL courier if you wish, but if you FAX them or attach them to an email I'll get them quicker. I'll be sure to fill them out promptly and immediately return them with the required $1,800 incorporation fee. I didn't understand what you meant by a change of ownership certificate. You own the alluvial gold, not me. By the way, I'm still awaiting a document that attests to you possessing the alluvial gold. Any luck getting the Chemist's report? Or at least a notarized memo saying you have the alluvial gold? Both Mr. Wheat and my accountant will pitch a fit if I don't get some proof you have the alluvial gold. I must say you Ghanian alluvial gold miners take your parties seriously. You mean to say that the entire month of November and December is taken up with drunken orgies? That's a dreadful shame, because I can't make it any earlier than the 12th of November. The week before the 12th is the International Cabonated Beverages Convention in Miami Florida. Since we're trying to promote Yaka-Cola to South America I have to be there to promote my company. Perhaps Lulu Bell and I could come over, sign the papers, and celebrate the deal at the Mine Association party? Otherwise we'll need to push the meeting off until after the holidays. You must trust me my friend that selling the gold under the umbrella of the L.F.A. will result in substantial tax savings for us all. Since a non-profit organization would be labeled as receiving my share of the money significant reductions in tax rates would occur. Please, just write a letter saying you've heard of the fine work of the L.F.A., mix in some details from the newspaper article to make it sounfd convincing. Request that I handle the sale for the benefit of the L.F.A I'll be travelling again tomorrow, but I expect that the day after I'll be able to purchase a mobile phone and try again to call you. I look forward to speaking to you. Well, I must power down my laptop now. My best wishes to your wife and family. Your in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont.
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool finally produces some fake documentation! Hmmmm... I wonder who Samuel Ackah of Charl & J.P.R. Co. Ltd is? Dear Weaver, Many thanks for your mails and ideas, and I wish you speedy recovery on your back and a wonderful tours this weekend. Find attached the copy of the certificate of ownership and the latest report from the SGS for your need. November 12th will be alright for the trip, therefore confirm your flight and send the schedule to me to enable me make reservations and prepare for your arrival. It will be my pleasure to welcome you and your beloved wife in my country. I also want you to understand that I have confidence in dealing with you as a person so be rest assured the trust has established and it will soon lead to mutual benefits to both parties. My regards to your wife and family and thanks for your understanding and co-operation. Awaiting your urgent response. Sincerely yours Ebenezer Kuffour (Executive Manager) Cerificate of Ownership Lab Cover Sheet Lab Report
Pierpont Pierpont sends off a brief acknowledgement as he vacations. Dear Kuffour, Thanks for your last email and the forms you attached. I've only got time for a quick note. We're wrapping up our stay here and will begin driving back to Florida early tomorrow. I anticipate getting back Tuesday. I'll arrange my travel plans Wednesday and forward you the details. Pierpont Weaver.
The GOLD!Pierpont Pierpont muddies the water when he attaches a memo about the lab analysis his Head Chemist prepared (written by another counter-spamming friend). Dear Dr. Kuffour, Hello my friend, I trust you and your family are in good health. My vacation was quite pleasurable. I am writing from a hotel in Bugtussle Tennesee. Rather a rustic little town. I have one more day of driving and then it will be back to work! A couple of minor details. I forwarded your chemist's report to some of my people and they returned a memo (attached) which raises some issues which need to be clarified. As you can see they were concerned over your reports use of the term bullion rather than alluvial. I suspect it was a simple-minded mistake, since in your first letter you were clearly talking about alluvial gold -- and not bullion -- when you mentioned we would get it shipped to the refinery of our choice. Be that as it may, the discrepency between your original claim of 99.5% pure vs. my lab's report of it being 94.5% pure, is an issue we need to clarify to procede. I am assuming there was a typo in the original email and you meant 94.5%. However, perhaps it would be best to send a small five gram sample to my folks if you think that would be helpful. After all, $300,000 eratz dollars is a small amount in the scheme of things, but we should be clear on what the figures actually are. Also, I'm abit confused by your report being done for a Mr. Samuel Ackah of the firm Charl & J.P.R. I assume that a subsidiary of your firm? I'm also interested in hearing how your letter to the L.F.A. is progressing. Also, any luck getting the forms for incorporation? Well, enough chit-chat for now. In less than a month we'll be raising a toast in Accra over the deal. I look forward with anticipation to the day! Yours in Peace and Fertility, Pierpont Weaver. Attached Chemist's Memo
My head chemist is actually a chemical engineering student. he is the one who received the gold and is having it assayed. Here is the preliminary report: OK, here's your lab report: Density: mass = 9.511 grams volume = .51 mL density of material = 18.649 g/mL density of gold = 19.3 g/mL Melting point >1000 degrees Celcius I dont' have all the data in front of me, but the purity came out in the 95% range, give or take a percent. Sorry I can't be more specific. The guy who did the assesment gave me a quickie assesment since I wanted to get this to you today, I'll get a more detailed assesment later this week or early next week. At 95% purity, out of 9.5 grams, that's about 9 grams of gold. The going rate is about $300 an ounce. There are about 28 grams per ounce. That comes out to almost $100. As soon as I get a formal report from the lab, which won't be until late this week or early next week, I'll scan and send. *made a minor typo, I put g/L for the units of density, should have been g/mL
Pierpont Pierpont hopes he didn't spook KaFool too badly with the Head Chemist's memo. Anyhoo... time to email Pierpont's African travel plans. Dear Dr. Kuffour, Hello my friend, I trust you and your family are in good health? I've finally made it back from my trip to the spas and was able to contact my travel agent today and arrange for plane tickets to Accra. Here is the schedule: I leave Monday November 11th and arrive in Accra Ghana Nov 12 at 9:05 p.m. on British Airways flight 81. The entire trip takes a little over 30 hours, so I am sure that Lulu Belle and myself will be quite exhausted when we arrive. Will you arrange to meet us at the airport? Also, if you could recommend a good hotel we can then arrange for our lodging. I'm a bit tired after my vacation, so I'll leave the other minor matters until tomorrow. This venture of ours is starting to excite me. I look forward to spending some time with you and visiting your lovely country. Yours, Pierpont
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool screws up and sends Pierpont the email Weaver had sent KaFool back to him. Funny thing, it has oviously been pasted into the email -- could he be fowarding it to a fellow scammer for consultation? If so, two half wits obviously don't equal a whole.
Pierpont I'm sure this will clarify things for KaFool... Dear Dr. Kuffour, There appears to have been a mixup on your end. The last email you sent me was the email I had sent you previously (the one where I sent my flight details, etc.). That is to say, you sent me the email I sent you, rather then the email you meant to send replying to the email I sent you. If you could please resend the email you had intended to send, rahter than the eamil I sent, it would be helpful. Yours, Pierpont
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour My God, what a lazy scammer. Once again KaFool flounders around with nothing more than assurances all will be well when Pierpont arrives in Ghana for the robbery. Dear Weaver, Thanks for your concerns. The 94.5% is the average percentage of the product. The firm Charles & J.P.R Co. LTD. is a minning company to make the shipment process easy for us all. Your concern for the incorporation is being addressed and assure you that on your arrival every thing will be done. We acknowledge your flight schedule and will be at the airport to pick you and your wife up. The best hotel in Accra now is the La Palm Royal Beach Hotel, we can make the reservation here if your schedule is a confirmed on. Thanks and awaiting to meet you soon. many regards. K. Kuffour
Pierpont Pierpont dangles the carrot of all the imaginary money he has already spent, and then cronks KaFool over the head with demands for more forged documents. Dear Dr. Kuffour, Yes, my flight schedule has been confirmed. We've purchased the tickets already and look forward with great anticipation to the flight. Glad to hear that you'll be at the airport to pick me and Lulu Belle up. Please do make reservations at the La Palm Royal Beach Hotel and spare no expense. I've had less luck finding a phone plan for calling Africa than I anticipated. It seems not many independent phone companies in the States handle such calls. However, I do have some good news, I believe I've located a firm in the Caribbean that will be adequate. I hope to finally make it through on the phone and speak to you soon! I understand and accept the mistake you made regarding the alluvial gold actually being 94.5% pure. Regardless, there will still be plenty of money for both you and I to profit upon. I also understand that Charles & J.P.R Co. LTD. is a firm contracted to expediate and handle the alluvial gold. However, I still don't have any documentation that clearly shows ownership by your firm of the 500kg of alluvial gold. You will NEED to FAX, or send as an email attachment, a contract between your firms regarding the the alluvial gold. As for the incorporation, I still believe it is best handled before I arrive in Accra. Please send me the incorporation forms so I may fill them out and submit them, along with the $1,800 incorporation fee, prior to my arrival in your country. One final matter. You have had over a week to prepare the letter requesting I handle the alluvial gold sale as an agent for the L.F.A. charity. I am a bit disturbed that I have not received it, nor did you even mention it. That respresents a significant saving for all parties involved in the alluvial gold sale. I have already tied up $50,000 dollars in a bank in Ghana, as well as spending and additional $4,000+ dollars for the airplane tickets. Incorporation will cost an additional $1,800. The hotel and other expenses are going to drive my cost even higher. I realize you folks in the tropics may do things at a more relaxed basis -- what with spending the afternoons drinking coconut wine and goo-goo eying the cabana boy and all -- but I must INSIST that you forward the letter as we discussed and you AGREED to do. Yours, Pierpont E. Weaver, ESQ.
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool gets the message loud and clear, but then he complicates matters by fishing for an address. Dear weaver, How are you today with your family, Two things for me. (1) Please draft the text what you will like me to send to your people and let me have their address. (2) Let me have the delivery address for incoporation forms which will soon come through DHL. I will get back to you soon. Kuffour.
Pierpont Time to use the "travelling out of the office" gambit to avoid sending an address. Dear Dr Kaffour, It is so good to hear from you. How are you and your family? I will address your points in reverse order. 2) I'm travelling between offices this week so finding an office to DHL to forms to is problematical. It would be much simpler and more efficient to email or FAX the forms to me. 1) The letter will be much more effective if it is written in your own termonology and style. You may address it to me. State that you've heard that I am a board member of the L.F.A. Charity. Say you admire the work they do (grab some examples from the article I previously emailed you) and would like to assist it. Ask me to handle the alluvial gold sale and contribute my portion to the charity. Before you mail it, please email me it so I can be sure there are no glaring errors. Once the letter is correct I will send you and address to mail it to. Thanks so much for your prompt response to these important matters. Yours, P. Weaver, ESQ.
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Pierpont jars KaFool into some action. Two of the FAXs were messed up. The one that came through is linked to. By the way, am I the only completely confused over what the terms of imaginary deal between KaFool and Weaver is? Dear Weaver, We hereby inform you that the minners association agreed today that you are to pay 7% seven percent of the total value of the merchandise to cover the documentations and shipment expences to your destination. That the 7% will also be deducted from our payment after sales of the products. Note the price is $6,500 USD per KG Quantity 500KG. As you can see the price is better than before after the meeting today. Pls, Confirm the receipt of the three pages of fax I sent to you today. Many regards. E. Kuffour Another Ownnership Certificate
Pierpont Pierpont acknoledges the FAX. Dear Dr Kuffour, Unfortunately I only received one of the three FAXs clear enough to read. The Agreement of 29 October between your company and Charl & J.P.R. which transfered the gold to you at a price of $6000 per kilo. Please resend the other two, or attach them to an email. Yes, $6500 (or $6000) is a most excellent price considering today's L.M.E live price of $10,197 per kilo. I must say, a most impressive and outstanding job of negotiation on your part. I applaud your business accuman. Yours, Pierpont Weaver, ESQ.
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool must not be able to afford both the FAX and the internet cafe today. Dear Weaver, I will refax the two copies tomorrow, Pls, confirm when you receive it. Thanks. E. Kuffour
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour He finally gets enough money to send the other two cheesey looking documents. Oh boy! The L.F.A gets their alluvial gold funding! Dear Sir, I will fax you the two documents today. I hope you have seen the final conlusion of the association concerning your goods and the 7% which you need to come along with to facilitate all the neccessary things to your destination. As you can see I made the price the be better like that so you can give me some commission from the huge profit which you making from the gold. Thanks. Kuffour Court Ownership Document L.F.A. Donation Approval
Pierpont Now KaFool wants 1.8 million dollars up front? Sure! No problem! Pierpont's chemist has one little concern though... Dear Dr. Kuffour, I received the two FAXs you sent. Thank you very much for the memo concerning involving the L.F.A. Between your most excellent job of negotiating a lower price to the alluvial gold, and the ability to shelter some of the tax cost behind a charity we will have saved a considerable amount of money. Yes my friend, I think it is only fair that we adjust our percentages in the partnership so you get a larger slice of the pie. By my calculations if we went to a fifty-fifty split of the 20% we would make out handsomely. I suggest we adjust those figures so we treat ourselves as the equal partners we are in these shenanigans. The request that I put up 7% as a bond is more problematical. That amounts to over 1.8 million dollars my friend, and securing that much cash on short notice may be difficult. Another matter that concerns me and my Head Chemist (I have attached his memo) is the ownership trail of the alluvial gold. We do have question, which mine did the alluvial gold get mined in? As his letter indicates, we would like to have documentation of the alluvial gold's source. Also, if I am to put up the entire 1.8 million dollar bond in cash I'm going to have to insist on receiving a 5 gram sample for testing purposes as my chemist requests. If that is ok with you contact me and I'll give you a secure address the sample may be shipped to. Yours, Pierpont Naberhood's Second Memo
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Bwaaahahaha. What a moron. Dear Weaver, As you demanded on your last mail, Pls, send me your delivery address Immediately so that I can send you sample through DHL on monday. The sample will be more than 5gram which you demanded. I will also add the copy of the Certificate of Origin and may add any other relevant document. This is to cut every thing short and finalise the transaction to proof all things right. awaiting the address and hoping to meet you soon in Accra. Regards. E. Kuffour
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour He also called. I guess mentioning 1.8 million in cash scrambled his greedy pea-sized brain. Phone Call
Pierpont We arrange for a "drop box" address for the DHL shipment. Dear Dr. Kuffour, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound as if I was imposing on you with a demand. Mr. Naberhood has been driving my crazy with memos over this gold, and I really appreciate you sending along a sample to allay his concerns. Next week I'll be at the convention in Miami I mentioned in an earlier email. We'll have our lab in Indianna handle the analysis so if you could send the sample there it will be most efficient on our end. Include any certificates or other paper work you feel is pertinent along with the sample and they'll be able to get it to me. The address of the lab, and person who the alluvial g old should be sent to, is: Weaver Enterprises attn: John Smith 500 Sagamore Parkway W, Ste N3 West Lafayette, IN 47906-1459 Thank you so very much for your understanding of the situation. I'll have a very busy week in Miami and I certainly look forward to meeting you and your associates in Accra on the 12th of November. I think this is going to be only the start of a much more profitable relationship between us. Your friend and partner, Pierpont Weaver
Pierpont Ooops, we don't want the alluvial gold sample to get lost in the vast bowels of the Indianna branch of Weaver Enterprises. Dear Dr. Kuffour, I made a slight mistake in the address I sent you earlier. I forgot to route it to the Metallurgical Department. To avoid any chance of them misplacing it in the interoffice mail please email it to: Weaver Enterprises attn: John Smith Metallurgical Dept. 500 Sagamore Parkway W, Ste N3 West Lafayette, IN 47906-1459 Once again, thank you for being understanding and accomodating over this matter. Your friend and partner, Pierpont Weaver
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Still no sign of KaFool waking up and smelling the coffee. Dear Weaver, Thanks , The parcel will be sent tomorrow monday 4/11/2002. As you know you have about one week to be in Ghana so prepare your self financially and other wise to meet up all the arranges. Indeed once this first one goes on well with understanding on both parties many ways shall open and this will be the smallest and the beginning. I will let you know tomorrow what and what that is in the parcel. God bless you. and hoping to see you soon. Regards. E Kuffour
Pierpont Pierpont assures KaFool things are going better than expected. Dear Dr. Kuffour, Very good news. It is late and I am tired so I shall be brief. I'll be at the Convention tomorrow, but should be able to check my email from time to time. I'll email you as soon as I get word the package was received. Also, you need not worry, the preparations on this side are proceding very nicely. So far I've made much better progress than I had anticipated. I do believe this transaction is going to continue to develop smoothly. Your friend, Pierpont
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool asks for a phone call. Is he stalling? Dear Weaver, This is also a good news, find a reachable phone line so that we can call you or you try as much as you can to call us. I will get back to you to inform you as I said. E. Kuffour
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Apparently not. He claims to have sent the package. Dear weaver, The DHL is on the way today monday, Inside is copy of the certificate of origin, copy of the mining licence and the sample. By this I think we have finish our own side of work awaiting your arrival. So you have to prepare as agreed with the 7% for shipment and the documentation to avoid any delay on your arrival. We have finished our side as soon as you arrive and make the payment four days every thing is conluded. How many days do want to spend In Accra?, this is because of the reservation. Awaiting your response. God Bless you. E. Kuffour.
Pierpont Relax Kafool, Pierpont has all the details of this high-powered imaginary alluvial gold transaction under control. Dear Dr. Kuffour, Good to hear that the documents and sample have been shipped. Things are proceding very nicely on my end. I've contacted my financial people and they are working out the details of raising the necessary cash. We anticipate transfering it to our account in Accra by next Monday at the latest. I should easily have enough to cover the 7% shipment fee, incorporations costs, and any other sundry expenses that may arise. I was anticipating staying in Ghana for two weeks. That would allow Lulu Belle and I to relax and do some sight-seeing in your country after our business was completed. Of course we also look forward to the various activities of the Miner's Association parties that you mentioned. I'm trying to find a good time to call you. This week I'm often tied up in Convention business until late. It would be far too late for me to call and disturb you. I think I may be able to get free earlier Wednesday night and give you a call. It would be around 7p.m. or so my time, which - if I calculate my time zones correctly - would be around midnight your time. Dreadfully late I know, but if it is ok with you I'll try to phone then. Your partner and friend, Pierpont
Pierpont Pierpont fishes for the DHL tracking number. Dear Dr. Kuffour, I have good news. I've managed to locate a bank that will loan me the needed cash for the alluvial gold transactions. I just had to put up my newly acquired stock in the Brooklyn Bridge as collateral. It should take two days for the necessary paperwork to be completed, but the money should be transfered to my Accra account this Friday. glad to get it done a little early so there isn't a last minute worry over funding. I had not heard from you if tomorrow was a good time for a call. No matter, because I'll have to postpone the call to Friday at the earliest. Also, when was the package supposed to arrive over here? Please send the DHL tracking number so my lab can track it and know when to expect it. Thanks again for your hard work on that end. Pierpont
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool puzzles over why Weaver would open a bank account instead of just stuffing suitcases full of cash. Also, he may be stalling over the DHL number. Dear Weaver, You can call me any time, and one question how come you got bank account in Accra? Have you been to Ghana before?. The parcel is surpose to aarive today I will see the track number and get back to you soon. Regards. Ebenezer
Pierpont Pierpont answers the bank account question. Dear Dr Kuffour, I understood your information about the parcels. No, I've never been to Ghana before. I'm not sure I understood your question about the bank account. I think you're asking why I opened an account in your country? Of course, for obvious reasons, I wasn't going to travel with so much cash on my person. Buck, my lawyer, considered transfering the money to an account in Ghana would be the most secure means of moving so much money. Yours, Pierpont
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool passes on the tracking number and also requests some gifts. Dear Weaver, Thanks I understand every thing. The hotel reservation has been made. And if you have not received the parcel yet then kindly see the number xxxxxxxxxx. My good friend when you are coming pls, get me one computer lap top and one GSM phone. this is for future cummunication at least any where i am i can access my mail with lap top. Looking forward to meeting you soon. Thanks. Ebenezer.
Pierpont Pierpont receives word from his Chemist that the package did arrive and it does contain a gold sample!!! Dear Dr Kuffour, I am pleased to say I have been informed that the lab has received that package and all appears to be in order. They'll analyze the sample soon. Very good news indeed. As my business mentor Monty Burns would have said, "excellent." Yes, of course I'll bring you a laptop and a GSM phone. I imagine they are much easier to purchase here than in Ghana. Is there any particular model or brand you would like? Also, are you married? If so I would like to purchase Mrs. Kuffour a present. The convention is winding down and almost over. I'll have a weekend to rest a bit and then it is off to Accra. I certainly look forward to meeting you. How will I know who you are when we meet at the airport? Perhaps you could scan and send me a photograph of yourself so I will recognize you. Your friend and partner, Pierpont
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour's Package Here it is, the stuff that dreams are made of....
Mining License
Government Agreement
Gold Mine Site Map
Gold Certificate
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Poor KaFool, consumed by greed. Amazing to watch what was supposed to happen to Pierpont happen to him instead. Dear Weaver, Thanks , this is a good news indeed. Pls, get me the latest type of the lap top and the phone will be V70 Motoralla fo me and my wife. Be informed that I am married. God bless you. Ebenezer
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool is a bit nervous he hasn't heard from Pierpont for a day or so. Dear Weaver, How are you and your preparetion, Pls, reconfirm your flight name and time of arrival. Thanks. Ebenezer
Pierpont Pierpont confirms his fake flight details and fishes for a picture again. Dear Ebenezer, Sorry for taking so long to reply. It was a very tiring week. My flight details are as follows: British Airways 81 London LHR to Accra (ACC) Arriving: Tues, Nov 12, 9:05pm Once again, how will I know you at the airport? It would help if you were to send me a photograph of yourself. Thanks, Pierpont
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Drat, no picture. Dear Weaver, Thanks, the only and fastest way to find you is to write your name and stand with it once you see it you come stright to it. I wish you and Lulu a safe and wonderful journey to Ghana. God be with you. Ebenezer
Pierpont Pierpont arrives in London! Dear Ebenezer, The first leg of our flight is complete. Lulu Belle and I are enduring a long layover in Philadelphia and I'm using my laptop to check my email. We leave in three hours for the flight to London. I'll try to check my email again from their. Good news - I've received word that the transfer of the bank funds has been accomplished. All preparations for the end game are in order. I'll look for somebody holding a sign with my name, and I look forward to meeting you and wrapping this business up successfully. What is the weather like in Ghana? Pierpont
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour "Hoping to meeet you... " Odd wording, or a premonition on KaFool's part. Dear Weaver, The weather is hot here but not too much. Hoping to meet you tonight at the airport, and I wish you a safe journey. Regards. Ebenezer
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour Guess something went wrong with Pierpont's travel plans. Dear Mr. Weaver, Where are you? I was at the airport until 10.30pm my local time without seeing you. Call me on my number 233 27 587908. at any time. take care. Ebenezer Kuffour
Pierpont There is a certain charm in giving him a glimmer of hope, but... Dear Dr. KaFool, You weren't really STUPID enough to think a rich American with suitcases full of money and presents was going to step off that airplane for you to rob, were you? Wait, what am I saying, of course you are that STUPID. Why else, outside of complete STUPIDITY, would you waste your money sending me gold samples and comical looking "official" documents? Unfortunately for you I am well familiar with the various forms of the Nigerian 419 scam. Add to that the fact that you are world-class STUPID and things didn't quite go according to your plan, did they? You sent me a letter where you tried to appeal to my greed by talking about piles of imaginary gold. The plan was to rob me of as much money as you could. I countered by replying with letters in which I talked about piles of imaginary dollars. Your whole scam involved the other person being STUPID enough to allow greed to over-come common sense. Alas, you were the STUPID one who was overwhelmed with greed. I doubt you're laughing now, but there is a lot of humor in the situation. Think about it, what kind of STUPID moron falls for their own scam? You planned on robbing me and, amazingly enough, you ended up STUPIDLY robbing yourself instead. I hope this is a lesson to you. Face facts, you are too STUPID to be a criminal. Keep it up and you'll do something STUPID and land in jail. My advice to you, get off your lazy STUPID ass and get a job. All you're accomplishing now, aside from making it clear to all how STUPID you are, is giving your country and continent a reputation for being loaded down with thieves and con artists. As for your gold sample. Well, if you weren't a thief who would have gladly robbed me of as much money as possible, I would send it back. However, since you are a thief -- and one so STUPID that you actually managed the STUPID feat of robbing yourself, I fear your would just do something equally as STUPID if I returned it. For that reason I'll put your gold to better use than you ever could. I've been posting our letters on an internet discussion forum (by the way, we've all had a great time laughing over what a STUPID mugu you are). Once a year we get together and have a party. We've decided the best use for the gold you STUPIDLY sent us was to buy beer for that party. So, thanks for the beer. Also, we'll be sure to remember you at that party. While discussing how STUPID you are, we will all be sure to raise our glasses and toast your STUPIDITY. The target of your intended robbery who isn't STUPID, Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ. p.s. Just to show their are no hard feelings on my part over your comically STUPID attempt to rob me, I've attached a little gift for you. Print it out, frame it, and hang it on your wall (if your too STUPID to figure out how to do that, ask just about anybody else on the planet Earth for help - odds are they aren't as STUPID as you and can help).
Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour KaFool makes a feeble attempt to revise the deal. My friend if you believe your self or you dont believe an existing company then let it be so. You can come to our office even through the documents sent to you. froud stars do not have company registration or and address to locate him. Verify the genueinty of the company and their products.
Pierpont Pierpont slaps KaFool around some more, and then passes on letter where the "Head Chemist" of Weaver Enterprises also gets in some insults Dear KaFool, Oh, you silver tongues devil. You certainly have a way with words. Given the convincing spiel you always lay down I'll bet you could sell just about anything! Your last letter soooo messmerised me that I almost believe you DO have a company. Uhh... notice I said almost. To 100% convince me you'll have to DHL me another package of alluvial gold. Or just wire me some cash. Then you'll have access to my millions of US dollars. Honest. Ha-ha. Just kidding. I would feel real, real, real, real terrible if you had to mortgage your families prize water-buffalo to send me more money. However, that is the idea behind the 419 scam isn't it? Sucker them out of some money, and then sucker them out of some more as they try to recoup their losses? Who gives a shit how much financial pain it causes them? Anyhoo... my head chemist wanted to pass on a letter to you also. I've included it below.
Hey Stupid Dipshit Mugu, This is "Roger Z. Naberhood", aka "John Smith". The first thing I want to say to you, is thank you for sending us gold, you STUPID ass. You are quite possible the STUPIDEST person walking the face of the Earth. You are STUPIDER than a fucking cow. You are goat's ass STUPID. Can you even tie your own shoes? Did your mommy drop you when you were a baby? Whatever you do, don't have children. They would be STUPIDER than you, and that is something no human being should have to endure. I hope you feel STUPID and ANGRY and ASHAMED and EMBARRASED. I hope that now you understand how the people you trick out of money feel about you. I am very happy because you got a taste of your own medicine. I know how incredibly STUPID you are, so I'm going to tell you this in small, easy words so you can understand. We know you are a scammer. We knew all along that you are a scammer. Multi-million dollar gold deals do not begin by sending a complete stranger an e-mail. Your "company" doesn't check out. There is absolutely no information whatsoever on your "company". There are plenty of legitimate gold mining companies operating in Ghana, why would anyone want to deal with one that doesn't exist? Your "official documents" looked like something an 8 year old child with no brain made in art class. We knew all along you were a STUPID scammer. You tried to run a typical "419" scam, but you were too STUPID to follow the guidelines and the script. You were so STUPID, you didn't even know how to run your own scam. So, instead of you scamming us, we scammed you. By the way, you should be proud to know that you have been scammed out of more than any other 419 scammer in the world! You are part of a world record! You are officially the STUPIDEST 419 scammer in the world!! I hope that makes you feel better about yourself! I'll bet everyone who knows you is laughing at you, because you are so STUPID. Are they calling you a STUPID MUGU?? Because that is exactly what you are, a STUPID FUCKING DIPSHIT MUGU!! Is your wife so ashamed of you, that she is in bed with your friends giving them sex, but will not give you sex? Does your mother refuse to call you her son, because she is ashamed to have given birth to someone so STUPID? If your father knew you were his son, he would cut off his own penis with a rusty saw blade! This summer, when I am with my friends, and we are drinking that ice cold, delicious beer that you so graciously provided for us, I will be thinking of you! I will raise my glass and toast your incredible STUPIDITY! I'll tell my friends how easy it was to make a complete fool out of you, and we will all laugh at you, and make jokes about what a STUPID MUGU you are. Once again, I would just like to say how incredibly STUPID you are. I know that has been said many times, but it is so true, that it should be said again and again. You are truly a STUPID fool. You should stay away from the computer and go back to being a sheepherder. You are too STUPID to do anything else. Thank you again for the gold, you STUPID FUCKING MUGU!!
Pierpont suspects he'll never hear from his pal KaFool again.