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Rose Martins Toyo Subject: DIVINE CALL FROM GOD.(FROM MRS ROSE MARTINS TOYO) FROM: MRS ROSE MARTINS TOYO Praise be to the name of God most high. I am the above named person from Tunisia but now undergoing medical treatment. I was married to Dr.Martins Toyo who worked with Tunisia embassy in ABIDJAN for nine years, before he died in the year 2002. We were both married for eleven years without children. [For a summary of similar letters, see DISTURBING DEMOGRAPHICS] He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both Christians and since his death I decided not to re-marry. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of USD5,500,000.00 (Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) in cash,packaged in bundles into a metalic box. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Six months due to my cancer illness. Having known my condition and believing the doctor I have decided to donate this fund to avoid total loss to church, Less privilege, or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I am interested in helping orphanages ,widows and propagating the Gospel and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. Please do not fail to spread the funds across the globe. The Bible made us to understand that it is more blessed to give than to receive. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are fighting over the properties and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by their greedy attitude. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an UNGODLY manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death since I am a good christian. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. The bible says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health, and because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact information of the lawyer in charge of taking care of negotiations on this and other details that will enable you claim the box from the security company in Europe I will also issue you a letter of authority/Power of Attorney that will make you the beneficiary of this fund. I want you to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. I sent you this mail under severe pains. Any delay in your reply will be detrimental. Please assure me that you will act accordingly Remain blessed in the name of the Lord. Yours in Christ, Mrs. ROSE Martins Toyo. Oh, that's a sad story! And, what a coincidence, we are in need of some fresh cash to make the Mision's work get started again! Brother Samuel Vimes Mrs Rose: Praise the Lord, Allelluyah! Your message came literally from Heaven, as we were praying for some help to go on with our Mission. I am Brother Samuel Vimes, of Our Lady of Constant Distress Mission of the Bethamithe Church. We are committed to help the less fortunates. In our case we are dedicated to the poor of the slums called Villa Tachito, in Argentina. Everyday we give two hot meals to 538 kids and provide them and their families with clothes, job opportunities and such. We were planning to build a church, a hospital and a school for this poor community but, alas!, our funds don't let us fulfill our plans as wished. Your kindfull donation comes as a Blessing from God Himself. I asure you that you will bring smiles to all those 538 dirty faces. I am not the one to say what Jesus would do, but if I were Him, you will be seating at my right for all the Eternity, blessed in Heaven for ever and ever. Oh, dear lady, you'll pass away with joy and grace in your heart and in your soul! In short: I am your humble servant and I will do everything that I can to serve you best. In fact, to give you the confidentiality you ask me, I opened another email account, xxxxxxxxxx, since this one is the one I use in official communications of the Mission and I usually share the messages that arrive there with the other Brothers. Please, from now on, use the alternative address, thanks. Yours in the Name of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham ------------------------------------------------ Brother SAMUEL VIMES ----Our Lady of Constant Distress Do you asked for a Christian, Rose? I'll give you Christian! Next day... Rose Martins Toyo Mon, 5 Apr 2004 12:11:19 +0200 rose_martins@libero.it Hello Thanks for your reply to my mail. I want you to first of all, realise the enormous task involved in this.This is a huge amount of money and you must assure me that it will be used for the real purpose, do not allow the devil to put any idea of putting it into your personal use.Though you have the go ahead to have a little portion of it for any expenses you will incure,personally in the course of carrying out the work of God with the money. My husband's people took over every other thing my husband had in life because according to their culture, i have no right to anything ,since i had not child for him.He knew what would happen and that is why he deposited this money without anybody knowing about it,except me.May his gentle soul rest in peace. As i am now, i have nothing ,whatever i had on me personally has been used in treating my illness but i am still not well.But the Doctor gave me a good news on the last tests he conducted on me three days ago.He says he is surprises to notice that i will last more than he previously predicted.There is nothing to be surprise about, it is the God's work, through the prayers given to me by people like you. What i want you to do for me is to help me claim the consignment contaning the money from the security company.I will present you as our long time family friend and christian associate, and beneficiary to the consignment with a legal change of ownership in your name,as to be prepared by the lawyer here.Feel free to call the lawyer in charge of this here.He is in the person of BARRISTER ELANGA KOFFI .His phone number is 225-0738 60 66 and email address is elanga_koffi@yahoo.com, i have given him power to conclude everything about this since i am not strong enough now. There is a volatile political situation down here and i do not want the money to be used here.To prepare the change of ownership in your name, the lawyer will need your full names ,address,phone and fax number.After the change of ownership, giving you the power to claim the box , you will make arangements to come down here for the claim. After the claim, we arrange with the security company to use their "special diplomatic delivery service" to convey the box to your country . The other way round, the money can be taken to a bank here after the claim and be remitted into your bank account,from here. Kindly keep this transaction absolutely confidential because in the issue of money, not even your closest friend or relative can be trusted. You must not let the security company know it is money that is contained in the boxes, the boxes containing the money were declared as containing just family valuables of photographic materials and classified documents.My husband deposited it under the 'special diplomatic deposit category(the kind of deposit in which the security company does not open to inspect the contents) He was very wise to have done it that way because if they knew,maybe they would have become greedy and plan on how to take over the treasure.It is only you and i that know it contains money. I will scan and send you my photograph and i will like you to send me yours too. God bless you and guide you in your going out and your coming in. I expect to hear from you,quickly. Mrs Rose Martins Toyo Isn't she special? A few prayers and her health improved. It would be nice if our prayers for Peace in the world were listened so fast. But God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He? I don't reply quickly, so Mrs Rose gets upset. Rose Martins Toyo Tue, 6 Apr 2004 10:10:19 +0200 ARE YOU THERE?.(FROM MRS ROSE MARTINS TOYO) Hello I am waiting to hear from you. Have you contacted the lawyer as i told you? God bless you Lets make her life easier, poor woman. But not so easy... And since this was in Palm Sunday's week, I give her some more christianity. Repent, sinner! Brother Samuel Vimes Dear Rose: As a Christian, you must be aware of the Holy Days we are Celebrating. The Passion of our Lord is a serious business and we must give all our attention to its Holy Significance. I was deeply submerged into prayer and meditation and had no time to earthly tasks like checking emails and such. Your news fill me with joy. Your recovery shows once again that His Powers are All Mighty and that His Desires are Unexcrutable for us, unworthy mortarls. It will be very unchristian of me to judge the attitude of your hiusband's relatives, Our Lord taught us to give the other cheeck, to forget and forgive, to love thy neighbour amongst any other things, but if I may, I wish them the worst. They deserve to be punished with the fire and treacle of our Eternal Enemy, who might tronch and borseek them with his filthy trident and feed their entrails to his satanic servants. But to think this is a sin and I must repent. Rest assured that your money will be used in the most Christian way, like St Betham did with the fortune he inherited from his father. I suposse you remember that he gave everything he had to the poors of Central Elumedia and went to live amongst the lepers of Numedia, it's a well known story that every good christian may have as his or her inspiration in life. I will contact your lawyer. I'm not happy, since lawyers have no soul, but if Our Saviour walked amongst prostitutes and tax payers, who am I to be picky about the people I must deal with. Madame, be blessed in the name of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. Yours in heart and soul -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ Ok. As you might guess, nothing in the signature is true. The name of the town (La Impostura), means "the Deceit". Yeah. "Villa Tachito" can be translated as "Small Tin Ville", and is a popular name to mean any of the villas miserias (Misery ville, a bunch of shacks in the outskirts of Buenos Aires and other major cities, where the poor and the criminals live). Also, you are right, I made up some words and used others out of context. Just to see if the lad(y) reacts. (Spoiler: She doesn't). Let's write to the lawyer! Brother Samuel Vimes Dear Sir: Madame Rose Martin told me to give you some personal data you need in order to help me help her. My name is Samuel Vimes My address is Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina My phone/fax number is 54-11-4113-4190-6848 I hope this serves you right. Be blessed in the name of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. Your faithfull server -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ The phone number is just a bunch of numbers. Don't try to call, it would be useless. Barrister Elanga Koffi "Barrister" Elanga Koffi TO THE ATTENTION OF MR SAMUEL VIMES FROM BARRISTER ELANGA KOFFI STAR 7,BLOCK 6,ANGRE,ABIDJAN,COTE D'IVOIRE PHONE 222-07 38 60 33 SIR This is to acknowledge receipt of your email. I am writing you in connection to the transaction you have with Mrs Rose Martins Toyo.I am her lawyer in charge of this and every arrangement is being made to finish this as soon as possible. I will be sending you you a legal change of ownership in your name, giving you the legal right to claim the box and i have already notified the security company ,about you, as the beneficiary to the boxes containing the money. I had a meeting with the security company this morning.There is an outstanding safe keeping fee to be paid to the security company before they release the consignment containing the treasure to us. At the time of deposit, late Dr Martins Toyo was paying a daily safe keeping fee of one hundred u.s dollars per day and he made an advance payment,which lasted till the 20th of September 2003.From that date till today the 7th of April 2004, there is an outstanding safe keeping fee of Nineteen thousand eight hundred u.s dollars, and the daily fee keeps adding up till the day the box is claimed.She wants you to help clear this bill so that they will release the consignment to you.Out of this amount, i will personally contribute the sum of ten thirteen thousand u.s dollars,which will be paid back to me immediately after the release of the boxes because i sqeezed my pocket dry to raise this amount, including borrowing some from a friend and my wife, who is school teacher.So, you arrange the rest .When we conclude, you will take 5% of the total amount to cover your expenses for clearing the dues and other personal expenses you might incure in the course of carrying out the lord' Work with the money. Kindly inform me if you prefer for the security company to deliver the boxes containing the money to your doorstep, after the claim process, via the special diplomatic delivery service or you prefer that it is taken to a bank here and remitted into your bank account, from here.If the later, kindly provide your bank account detail. Mrs toyo will remove some money also from the box, after the claim , to cover my legal fees, which i agreed to be paid, after the transaction is concluded.She will also remove money to cover her travel expenses down to meet you there, after the money has been moved to your country. You are free to contact the security company, i have told them about you.It is ECOWAS VAULT AND SECURITIES INC.The customer relations manager is in the person of MR MUSTAPHA SONGO,email address is mustapha_songo@yahoo.fr and phone number is 225-05 5038 05. Kindly notify me if you will coming for the claim process .Whether you are here or not, the whole thing will be handled but it is good if you come too . Note that the security company must not know the boxes contain money.It was declared by my husband as contaning just family valuables of classified documents and photographic materials.It was a good thing he did it like that because if not, maybe by now someone there would have planned on how to take over the money.He deposited it under the special diplomatic deposit category( the kind of deposit in which the security company does not open to inspect the contents of the consignment). I attach along with this mail, the photograph of the inside of the boxes, showing the dollar bills, which her husband took forpersonal record purposes, before he deposited the boxes. Thanks Barrister Elanga Koffi One hundred dollars a day???? Isn't that a bit expensive? Notice the sum he raised, ten thirteen thousand dollars. Not only because it is meaningless, but because will be important in the future. He also writes "It was declared by my husband as..." but I decide to ignore this character confusion. After all, maybe Elanga was Mr Martin's wife after all, if you know what I mean. In another mail, Elanga sends me the classic two trunk boxes picture. You've seen it plenty of times in the past, you'll see it plenty of times in the future. Life in Ladland is so predictable... [Scam-o-note: if you're curious, visit the Show Me The Money Gallery - opens in separate window.] Anyway, I'm not happy with the barrister requests. As far as I know, you don't have to pay for a donation... Brother Samuel Vimes Dear Barrister Koffi Your message leaves me unsettled. What's that thing you say about the money I have to pay? Didn't Mrs Rose explain you my situation???? I'm in charge of a Christian mission that feeds and gives education, clothes and job opportunities to 538 poor kids from a slum neighbourhood in Argentina. With 19.000 dollars we can provide them all this for half a year! Do you think that I can take away the happiness of their lives? You are unchristian to think the contrary! And I am the Brother in charge of the economics and finances of the Mission but I have to respond to my Superiors. Mrs Rose instructed me to keep all this business secret and I tried to grant her her wish, since I am allowed to keep the secret of a donation AS FAR AS IT REMAINS AS A DONATION. As soon as I have to take money from the communal funds I MUST respond to Bextor Lithmann and Bishop Flynn. I undestand you are willing to put some of the ammount from your own dry pockett but I am not quite sure how much you are willing to pay since you mention the confusing ammount of ten thirteen thousand dollars. How much is that? 1013.000? 130.000? 10.130? Please be clear. Anyway, as I said, I can't move a huge ammount of money without being noticed by my Superiors. I still want to help Mrs Toyo and I really need the help she offered us. Don't be a bad christian and help us to move forward. Yours in the name of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ Also, I complain to Mrs Rose. Brother Samuel Vimes Madam Rose I am deeply shocked by the news your barrister gave to me. I assumed that you were donating your husband fortune to us, and now he ask me for a enormous quantity of money I don't have. With 19.000 dollars (that's what he asks) we can feed our 538 kids for half a year! It would be very unchristian if I divert that money to help you. As I told him, I am the Brother in charge of finances in the Mission, but I must respond to my Superiors in matters of movement of funds. I wont be able to keep the secrecy you asked if I must ask them from authorization to take away that huge quantity of money from our banks accounts. Please, let's talk for another solution. 538 dirty faces will thank your kindness. BE the good christian you claim to be. Yours in the name of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ Well, well, well... Elanga isn't happy with my attitude. Since he is a bad boy, I include here his whole header, you'll know what to do with it. Barrister Elanga Koffi X-Apparently-To:-xxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com.ar Return-Path:-<elanga_koffi@yahoo.com> Received:-from [213.136.104.90] [AVISONET, Cote d'Ivoire] Fecha:-Thu, 8 Apr 2004 01:13:54 -0700 (PDT) De:- "elanga koffi" elanga_koffi@yahoo.com Asunto:-Re: from Barrister Elanga Koffi(concerning Mrs Rose Martins Toyo Hello First of all, if anybody is being unchristian, it is you, a christian does not write the kind of mail you wrote to a fellow human being, i should be seen as a human being, not as a lawyer.How could you be so harsh when you are involved in a kind of Job that equires taking care of children.I have reported your reply to Mrs Toyo and it looks suspicious that you may not be what you claimed to be in the lord Mrs Toyo needed your help and the help includes what is required to claim the boxes containing the money from the security company.I explained to you when an advance payment was made and whet it terminated.Then i told you what needs to be paid to the security company and what i can afford.I do not see where i have gone wrong.Kindly tell me where i have gone wrong, please The least you would have done is say, ah, my brother, i can not move such amount of money without informing some people, or i do not have as much as that, look at what i can afford, how can we put heads together and get the rest? This is all i expected from you, not reacting harshly to me and insulting me.May God forgive you for this Mrs Toyo insists God needs you to do this but to me as a lawyer, i would have chosen we do not deal with you, anymore, that is my opinion to her.But if she insists then i have no choice Moeover, i know the name She told me, i replied to the person and it is another group of persons(mary Eloi and Betham) that wrote me, with sma email address.I want this explained, please Barrister Elanga Koffi Had I been harsh? Had I? You don't know me when I harsh, dude. And you don't seem to be very bright, indeed. OK, I accept that the salute "Yours in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham" is not common, but to go from there to imply that I am four diferent persons* is to go too far * In some way, the lad is right, cos I am Samuel Vimes, but also I am Natalia Sturgeon, Ofelia Laney, Sarah La Guarra, Marco Jones, Melisa Robles and Giacomo Casanunda. But not "mary Eloi and Betham". No, sir, no. In the same line of thought is Mrs Rose. Also, I disclose her/his whole header. Rose Martins Toyo X-Apparently-To:-xxxxxx@yahoo.com.ar Return-Path:-<rose_martins75@yahoo.com> Received:-from [213.136.104.90] [Well what do you know?] Fecha:-Thu, 8 Apr 2004 09:26:21 -0700 (PDT) De:- "rose martins" rose_martins75@yahoo.com Asunto:-new email address, From Mrs Rose Martins Hello There is a problem with the email site i have been using in writing you, they have been on maitenance since yesterday and i was not able to check my mials till now.In view of this, i have created a new email address, which is easier to access, as reflected in this mail(rose_martins75@yahoo.com) henceforth, write me with this,only Barrister Koffi printed and brought me a copy of the mail purportedly written by someone that is not you, but sent through your email address.Actually, Barrister Koffi feel very discouraged in working with you but i have been able to convince him.Really, the mail was insultive by all stadards, the approach was very bad.But in my life, when i do something with someone, it remains that person forever, except the person withdraws.God asked me to use you for this divine work and i am not changing it, God knows why he chose you.Do not feel discuouraged because of the money, no sacrifice is too much for this work, do your best and raise the rest of the money, Barrister Koffi says he would arrange for thirteen thousand dollars I am counting on you God bless you Mrs Rose Let's teach the Barrister a lesson in Religious History. All made up, of course, you wouldn't expect less of me. Ah, by the way, the mails from the lad(s) arrived during the Easter Weekend. So, although I got the answer I hold it till next Monday, just to keep myself in character. Brother Samuel Vimes Dear Sir: I didn't insulted you. What I did was to show the shock and awe your monetary request produced on me. I was confounded, since Mrs Rose was doing a donation and a donation is free of charge. I felt, if you allow me the comparission, like Jesus when he saw the marchants of the Temple, full of rage to see something holy and pure desecrated by the raw instints of rabid merchantilism Anyway, if you felt insulted, my apologies I figured a way to raise some money, but now I'm not quite sure if I want to tell it to you. Your latest reply mined the confidence I had in you Please send me proofs that what you told me is true. I won't pay anything just based in your words, I need documents (and I need REAL documents, not forgeries) Had you been more humble and christian I could have trsuted you without hesitation, but your harsh answer left me with a hint of doubt of your true intentions And, to clarify you, I am who I claim to be. Are you who you claim to be? Or it is as they say, that the criminal thinks everybody is alike him? When I sign I always use the ritual salute of our Order: "Yours in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham". I assume you know who Jesus is. I thought it was obvious for anybody who calls himself a christian to know that Mary is the Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Our Lady, Co-Redemptrix and Advocatrix Eloi is one of Jesus' brothers. After Jesus's death, he had a discussion with Peter about who was to be the leader of the new faith. Eloi thought he was the legitimate heir of Jesus' chieftaincy, but Peter had more followers and finally won the battle. Eloi parted to the actual Kirgiuztan and founded his own christian churches, aside of writing a Gospel and other religious books When the Catholic Church became the official religion of the Roman empire, the Eloiite church was decimated as heretic and all references about eloi were expurgated from the Bible Centuries later, a rich young man named Betham had a vision that led to the re-discovering of the Eloiite texts. He dediced to dedicate all his efforts to reenliven the eloiite faith and gave all his fortune to help the poor and the needy That's why everybody in the Bethamite order signs with the admonition "Yours in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham" I expect the documents from you Yours in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ And to Mrs. Rose... Brother Samuel Vimes Hello Mrs Rose: I returned after these days of meditation and prayer, full of the joy of the Resurrection of Our Saviour, when I find two emails, one from you and other from the so-called lawyer you have, with hard words and telling things that hurt me a lot I wasn't insulting nobody. I was just angry before a situation of someone who claimed some money I hadn't no notice As I replied to Mr Elanga, I had figured out a way to raise some money and make it unnoticed to anybody else, but his reply put a dark cloud in my spirit and I am thinking it twice till I trust you again. Both of you must regain my confidence Dear Lady, I felt betrayed. You were making a donation and it means to give and not to be given I am willing to help you and, as I said, I have a way to raise some money, but I need to be seduced again Anyway, if I were you, I won't trust that alledged lawyer. I am in constant relationship with all kind of criminal types in my line of work and I find his words very similar to any common thief I suspect he works for your husband's relatives, if I may say so Be careful Praying for your health, yours in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ Mrs Rose answers, defending the lawyer. And doesn't want to seduce me. Shit! And I had bought her roses, haw haw haw! Rose Martins Toyo Hello Thanks for your last mail You see, you are a christian, a strong one for that matter so do not get angry easily, always learn to say God bless you, to whoever offends you Actually, the lawyer had a point in what he said ,regarding the way the mail was put but he sort of wrote you in a harsh way to express his not being satisfied.He is a lawyer and you know how they behave very proud, so do not judge him because of that little incident.I am learned and take time to choose whoever work with me, so he is competent and capable and he is only showing the lawyer in him, while you and i have to show the good christians in us I do not need to seduce you again, if i may use your word.The truth is a straight thing and it can be sensed even from millions of miles away.You know it, God has touched your heart and have chosen you for this job so if you reject it or carry along with anger then God will not be happy.Go ahead and do what you have to do to the praises of the lord Almighty and you will be glad you did I stand by my truth always and have been like that and will go to my grave with that.I have nothing to do more to seduce you, it is not a matter of seducing you, the truth does not speak much, it is felt and seen God bless you Mrs Rose Elanga doesn't try to seduce me either, but apologizes, tries to oustmart me and insist in asking money. Barrister Elanga Koffi Sir With all due respect, i tender my apologies for the way i reacted and i expect same from you as well.I did not in any way mean to insult you , i only was shocked seeing the way you reacted as if it is of my own making to ask you to help Mrs Rose I am a christian and Mrs Rose is someone that could be likened to" mother Theresa" of the blessed memory So i needed to be absolutely sure of the person i am dealing with, to be sure he will do the job well as Mrs Rose wants it so that is why i asked you about Mary, Eloi and Betham , to know if you are really a full fledged christian.You know, i am a lawyer and we have our way of doing things.It takes a good christian to know this,not just any christian.Anybody could have just claimed to be a good christian just to lay his hands on this money, so i wanted to be very sure and you answered my questions correctly Sometimes, we use provocative means to find out the truth about someone and you have proved to me that you are capable, which i have revealed to Mrs Rose ,this morning.Do not mind the lawyer thing,laughs,,,, The love i have for Mrs Rose and his project gave me the strenght to go and extra mile to borrow in order to help.The bill is there and there is nothing we can do about it so do not see it as a situation where you are obliged to help financially before you get the gift, no, not like that at all You are aware that the daily safe keeping fee keeps adding up one hundred dollars daily so i plead with you on behalf og Mrs Rose to quicken up the process of getting the money.As at today the 13th of April, it now stands at twenty thousand four hundred u.s dollars and i am proving thirteen thousand dollars.So, you will know how much you will have to provide to complete ,on the day you will send the money here.You have to contact the security company.I have given you the contact before.The money can be sent through western union money transfer, which is the quickest means of money transfer or if you need a bank account, the security company will provide you with one The security company is ECOWAS VAULT AND SECURITY INC.The person to contact is the customer relations manager MR MUSTAPHA SONGO , his email address is mustapha_songo@yahoo.fr and phone number is 225-05 50 38 05 Thanks Barrister Elanga Koffi Ah, he was proving me... and I answered correctly. Good for me! Laughs,,,,,, But what fills me with happiness and joy is that I am dealing with the second Mother Theresa. And I thought (s)he was a ruthless bastard trying to scam me from a cybercafe somewhere in Ladland! Brother Samuel Vimes Dear Sir I accept your apologies although I find quite curious your statement that you were testing my christianity. But God works in misterious ways. As I told you in my previous messages, I can't send a large ammount of money quickly without being noticed. I figured a way to collect the sum you need but it would take some time and I should do some "financial tricks" that maybe would violate some international laws, aside for needing your full cooperation in the whole operation. Would you go all the way? Of course, if Mrs Rose lifts me the burden of the vow of confidentiality I could go to Rev. Phillip Charles Lithmann, ask him to sign the release papers for the sum you need and business solved. All the complications are just because Mrs Rose asked me to keep this secret. Anyway, I must see the consignenment documents before I send any money. I find the daily fee very expensive, I looked in the Internet and the securities companies asked no more than $20 a day. Are you sure that $100 is the real fee? Because maybe they suspect there are money in the trunks and want to get a share of it. Can you explain me, please, why I should contact that guy Mustapha? Should I ask him for the documents I am asking you? May the Light of Our Lord shine in your soul. Yours in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ For all those who didn't read my previous adventures, Phillip Charles Lithmann was the great Snakefinger, a superb guitar player that die at his best. Also he was a good friend of the Residents, so my other Superior is Homer Flynn, one of the guys from the Cryptic Corporation (which manages The Residents and, who knows, maybe more). Check www.snakefinger.net and www.residents.com and do yourself a big favour. Also I write to the second best thing since Mother Theresa. Brother Samuel Vimes Oh, my dear Rose Martin, be holy: Every friction between Mr Elanga and me had been forgiven and forgotten. He was testing if I was a True Christian as I was doing the same with him. Mr Elanga says you are like Mother Teresa of Calcutta. I didn't know that! Please tell me more about your Christian work, I need to know all about it. I promise you, with Jesus as a witness, that I will name the buildings we would build with the money you so generously give me with your name. I know you dont want that kind of hommage, I feel you are humble and you do what you do without expecting rewards, but I want to tell the whole world what a saintly holy woman you are. Please let me name the buildings with your name. I already told your lawyer that the money he asks would be available quickly if you release me from the vow of confidentiality you asked me. If I could only go to Rev. Lithmann, he would sign the release forms in order to have a full habilitation with the Mission accounts and dispose of the funds as pleased. Because, if not, I must do several things that would take long and would be not fully legal, if you know what I mean, as well as to be needed the full cooperation from you and Mr Elanga. I wait with euphoria for the news of your saintity. Not everyday you have the chance to communicate with a Holy Woman like Mother Theresa or, in this case, you. Yours in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ Since I was being a good boy, the lad(s) decide to be kind and ask me for less money. Nice gesture... Barrister Elanga Koffi Hello Thanks for your last email I want to say you are right.But Mrs Rose talked about confidentiality for the fact that there are people in this world who can kill for money, and may puch you aside to lay their hands on the money, that is the only reason.If you can go to anybody for money, you are free.However, you can as well do it yourself because i am making arrangements for more more and if it works out, you i will be needing only three thousand dollars from you The consignment is a "special diplomatic consignment and it is tow, which means fifty dollars for each .ORDINARY DEPOSIT DOES NOT ATTRACH SAME AMOUNT AS DIPLOMATIC CONSIGNMENT. Thank Barrister Elanga Koffi Nice gesture... but with a flaw. You screwed it, Elanga! But I won't spoil the surprise. Yet. Short answer from me. Brother Samuel Vimes OK Thanks. Yours in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham Saint Rose of Ladland writes. Rose Martins Toyo Dear Brother in Christ I acknowled receipt of your last email.I have no doubt about your sincerity ,when i trust, i trust fully.I am not a strong woman now to be writing long messages, we will meet after the transfer of this funds to you and you will know me better, that is all i can say, i do not praise myself by myself You are free to meet someone for the money.The only reason i said confidentility is for the fact that i have experience of what human beings could do because of money, jealousy and the likes, even in the church circle, i do not know how the man is but i have seen people not being happy to know that Mr A is the architect of one project or the other, they want it to be them directly, i know what i am saying brother.But if you think it is necesary to meet him, then go ahead However, Barrister Koffi says he has a means of raising more money, if you will be able to provide three thousand u.s dollars all on your own.I would have prefered you give a surprise, i mean, finish up the transaction on your own and surprise whoever, when you break the news as testimony and start using the money for God's work. Peace of the lord be with you Mrs Rose This is becoming to polite. Let's twist things a bit. Brother Samuel Vimes Oh, my Blessed Sister Rose! God works in misterious ways and it's not up to us to question His doings, but sometimes our Faith, like Job's, is tested and tested and we ask to Our Lord "Why? Why? What have we done to deserve this?" I don't know if you read this in the news, because I don't think that the tragedies of the poor from a lost corner in the world like Argentina make the international news, but yesterday a huge storm hit the eastern area of the country, which is mostly low easily flooded lands. The result was that the slum where we opperate our Christian Mission ended under fifty centimeters of dirty water and mud. Entire families had to be evacuated and the little possessions they had had been lost or stolen by soul-less people. Fortunately for many of these families, we were there to help them, to give them roof, bed, dry clothes and hot meals. It is a titanic effort we are committed with all our energies, specially Rev Lithmann and Rev. Flynn, who are giving their lives to make ends meet. Our Church funds are in red, we are thinking to put our Holy Relics on sale on Ebay just to get the money we need to keep these children and their parents alive and kicking. Please, Sister Rose, you who knows what Christian Charity is, you who is like Mother Theresa, ask Mr Elanga for Christian mercy and tell him to forgive us of the three thousands dollars he wants us to pay. I know he would listen to you, cos you are a saint, and I know he won't listen to me, cos he is a lawyer, and every lawyer is a money-sucking vampire inside. Please. Please. Think of all those little childs that depend on our scarce funds to survive, don't let the greed of those who use the capitalist plusvalia to feed their big bellies stuffed with caviar and champagne. May the Lord punish them! And please, if you or your friends can send food, clothing or anything useful to give these poor people a better life, please do so. The address to send your packages is below, under my signature. Anything you send will be a blessing to us. Yours in the name of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ C'mon Mother Rose of Scamcutta! Here's a sob story for you! But the heartless bitch keeps her mind focused on money and my bad feelings against Elanga. Could it be they are the same lad? Or there's a hidden romance we didn't knew? Hmmm! Rose Martins Toyo Dear brother in christ I am very devastated by the news you just gave me and my heart goes out to them.Infact the funds we are talking about is meant for them and i pray God to quickly provide a means for us to claim the boxes and use the money for them and they will have more than enough You seem to misunderstand the whole thing here.Barrister Elanga is not asking you for money for his pocket, the money we are talking about is the outstanding safe keeping fee owed to the security company.He is not even asking for his legal fee, he agreed to be paid after the boxes have been claimed and he is contributing his own money towards paying the outstanding safe keeping fee to the security company I really take exception to you calling him all kind of names like "money sucking vampire" as you used in your last mail, it is unchristian to refer to your fellow human being like that.I see why you had problems with him last time.Pls, stop being harsh and insultive on fellow human beings, it is not good, at all. God bless you Mrs Rose I let some days pass, to increase dramatism and then I double the bet! Brother Samuel Vimes Dear Madame: We are living on Hell here. It was just now I have a spare time to answer my email correspondence. I don't know if this got to the news there, but after the big storm I told you last time, another one came, and harder. We lost three Brothers and seven children, and we have plenty of injuries (in fact, my left leg is in a terrible condition and my lungs got seriously damaged). No, you can't realize what it was: rivers of mud destroying everything, rats eating babies from their cradles, energy lines falling and electrocuting everybody nearby, winds at 100 Km/h, trees flying amok on the air... it was a nightmare! We lost everything, we barely have enough money to give a lousy meal to the survivors, so, as you can imagine, it will be impossible to us to send you, what, 3.000 dollars! we don't even have 30! I haven't eaten a thing since Thursday, all the food we have is to feed the children, and food is decreasing day by day. Please, please, please, I beg you as a Christian to another Christian, for the Love of Jesus and His Blessed Mother Mary, don't be creul, send us the money you promised without conditions or legal mumbo-jumbo. Barrister Elanga told me originally that he had raised 13.000 dollars on his own but the debt was 19.000. Later he told me that he managed to cut the debt to the half, that is 9.500 dollars. I don't know, but I think that he can pay that with the 13.000 dollars he previously had. Or that stash also was cut in half???? Please! He seems to be greedy or has a heart of steel! Dear Rose, be the second Mother Theresa you claim to be and convince that lawyer of yours to manage the situation with the seccurity company without involving a payment from our side. It would be cruel of him to ask for money to people who is in the deepest of miseries. And please, please, I beg you, send also clothes, food, medicines, whatever is helpful to help us overcome this dreadful situation. Thanks. Be blessed in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ Yes, that was the flaw! If Elanga had collected 13.000 dollars when the debt was of 19.000 dollars, now that the debt is only 9.500 dollars he would be able to pay for it without asking a dime and still will have spare change to buy him a car. Oh, lad, oh, lad! Your father must have told you to stay at school and not to mix with all these scaming bastards... what? That your father is one of these scaming bastards? And your uncle the Chief of the whole organization? Nice family, uh? Days pass. No response. I should had known. No money, no more Mrs Nice Dying-Widow to me. Let's flog the dead horse. Brother Samuel Vimes Dear Lady Are you OK? I find your silence after the dreadful news I told you very upseting. Praying for your health. -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ And to Elanga. Brother Samuel Vimes Dear Barrister: I don't know if Mrs Rose told you the dreadful news about the disaster we are living here. I think she should, cos I asked her to. But after knowing the sad news she never answered back. Is she well? I find her silence very upseting. Anyway, if she didn't tell you anything, I'll do: We are living a catastrophe here, a natural disaster that destroyed almost everything we had done up to the day and consumed most of our Mision's funds. We need food, clothes, medicines but most of all, we need the money Mrs Rose promised us. Please, be a good christian and ease the transaction. You have raised enough money to pay for the seccurity company, so don't ask us for $3.000 we don't have. I beg you with my knees on the ground. Your faithful servant in the names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ Days pass. Silence. Silence. Silence. I don't want this to end this way! Brother Samuel Vimes Mrs Rose, Mr Elanga: Your lack of response proves me I was right when I suspected you were a pair of heartless greedy bastards. You cared a fucking shit about the poor people my Mission is helping, you only wanted to scam us, to get our money and fly away! Hundreds of children dying of hunger, cold and sickness meant nothing to your empty hearts, you only wanted money and when I told you I had no money to give you cowardly dissapeared! Well, I got news for you, bastards! I was testing your true Christianity! I wanted to see if you were able of True Christian Charity, to give till it hurts and more. But you failed. You failed and lost the chance of your life. If you had shown a little, a tiny little bit of Mercy, of Selfless Behaviour, you would had been rewarded not with 3000 dollars but with 30.000 dollars! Yes! My order was ready to give you Thirty Thousands Dollars to release the money and pay your Cancer Treatment, I have the check at my right in this very moment. But you blew it, you blew it. I know is unchristian of me to not forgive you and forget your offences, but I can't, I can't. I feel the same rage Jesus had against the merchants in the temple, I would whip you if I had the chance, believe me. The only consolation that I have is that when your days come (and they will, believe me) you'll meet face to face with Your Maker and He will kick your asses and throw you to the Eternal Flames of Hell, where Satan, Lucifer, Baal-Zebouh and hords of Demons will feast in your festering entrails. I would love to see that! Maggots dwelling in your rotten anuses, serpents coming in and out from your eyes sockets, scorpions eating your false tongues, glittering flies buzzing over your saprofitous guts. I was a pleasure to deal with you, sinners. -------------------------------------- Brother SAMUEL VIMES Our Lady of Constant Distress Gral. Gonzales 4198 (D1776XZN) La Impostura Argentina ------------ Well, I think it ends here. I could wait a little longer for lad's insults but I am to anxious to send this to Scamorama and share the adventure with all the readers. Because, in the end, that's what was all this story about: Sharing. A Christian Virtue the Lads know nothing about. By the way, I should have contacted Mr Mustapha Songo. Maybe he was a good lad, after all. Yours in the Names of Jesus, Mary, Eloi and Betham. SAMUEL VIMES. |